Episode 26 - One, Two, Tree

 Goodrich (with voice modified): Howdy, folks, and welcome to the podcast BomBARDed!

[Giggles in the background]

Goodrich: I made that this morning. It’s supposed to be like Big Tex.

[Players agree and laugh as theme music begins]

Kyle: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to BomBARDed. Let me recap last episode which, I felt like I didn’t do much talking at all.

Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah.

Kyle: You three kinda ran the show on this. But yeah. After completing all of your extracurricular studies and everything that you did, you talked with Alola, you got the skinny on what happened with Tubular Phunk Karate and where you need to go. So you wound up going to Emma Zahn’s before heading out to be able to get a couple of supplies that you thought you needed. Then there were some issues brought to light, you know, what with sandatees and Sandy and everything.

Ali: Yeah, yeah. Some unfortunate things were found out. So-

Kyle: Yeah. Really, the whole episode was just a lot of-

Goodrich: Angst.

Kyle: -exploring things and learning new things about each other.

Spurrier: Truths.

Kyle: Yeah, truths.

[Players agree]

Kyle: So – but you eventually got on the road and explored more truths-

Goodrich: [snickering] Jeez.

Kyle: -and encountered two dwarves that were looking for harmonium, or if anybody had heard of somebody trying to sell harmonium. You found out that somebody had gone in and stolen some harmonium from the dwarves under Mount Tain, and that the king, King Daz’ul, was offering a reward of ten thousand gold pieces to whoever could help lead to the recovery or the actual apprehension of the thief. Raz’ul, you tried to avoid this for a while, and eventually Randy came and got you to give you the details on it. Then, once you got back, you know, they didn’t seem to recognize you or know who you were for some reason.

Goodrich: [with a mysterious tone] Been out in the wild for so long.

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: [giggles] Maybe you didn’t have that, like, beard, if you even have a beard.

Goodrich: I’ve been like druid-styles Raz’ul for like two years, so I’ve probably just don’t…(trails off)

Kyle: It’s like if Rattagast was a prince or something.

Goodrich: Right. Just like “Whaaat? Jeez, Gandalf.”   

Kyle: Yeah. So – and you wound up playing a song for them about your axe Usumptin, and pulled in some dwarven poetry and a little bit of your own special sauce.

Goodrich: Which I guess we should say, like, we did write those words.

Kyle: Yeah.

 Goodrich: Like Kyle didn’t have those words and gave them to us. But we thought it would be good that it was lore that – or I guess, rather, I thought it would be good, or Kyle and I thought it would be good, since we…

Kyle: I just think it made sense.

Goodrich: Yeah, true. So-

Kyle: Why not?

Goodrich: Anyhoo.

Spurrier: Building the world.

Kyle: I like characters coming up with stuff, and we can introduce it as lore into the world and I can work with that. That’s totally fun.

Goodrich: Yeahhh. And I don’t know everything about Usumptin; Kyle definitely knows all that. But I know enough that when I was in skewl…

Kyle: Smile, thumbs-up.

Goodrich: “Uh-huh,” says Kyle. “Sure.”

Kyle: But, uh - but yeah. We pretty much ended the episode with you arriving at the edge of the Discordant Fields. And we were gonna pick up there, so what do?

Goodrich: I just dip my toe in, heheh.

 Kyle: It’s a little bit oooh.

Goodrich: Uhhh.

Kyle: So dissonant-y.

Goodrich: Really? Do I start hearing something?

Kyle: You put a toe in the water, and that sound that’s at the edge of your hearing, it just bumps up a little bit, gets a little bit louder.

Goodrich: Oh jeez.

Ali: Huh.

Spurrier: Oh.

 Ali: Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Do we have something to put in our ears? I think it could get loud.

Kyle: Check your inventory.

Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s see. I could pull some stuff out of Joby.

Goodrich: Oh yeah, you’ve done that before.

Spurrier: Yeah, but I can share.

Goodrich: Oh, okay. Here.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Can I have some of that, Randy?

Spurrier (as Randy): I mean, if you want.

Spurrier: So I just start ripping Joby apart.

Goodrich: Oh jeez! I would just make one small incision.

Spurrier: No, I rip off all of his limbs, and then I empty them out like a crab claw.

[Goodrich chuckles, Kyle laughs]

Spurrier (as Randy): That should be enough, between all of us.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Thanks.

Ali (as Yashee): Cool.

Goodrich: So I put it in my ears, I stick my toe in again.  Is it still the same or…

Kyle: It’s not as loud as it was.

Goodrich: Okay, cool.

Spurrier: And then Randy just pulls out his organ really quickly and then he goes:

Spurrier (as Randy): [singing] Randy Greentrees, can he fix it? Randy Greentrees, yes he can!

[Ali giggles]

Spurrier: And I seal up Joby and he’s all fixed. [Players laugh] ‘Cause that’s one of my new spells, Mending. So…

Kyle: Yes.

Goodrich: Hurray!

Kyle: Mending’s a great spell! Yeah, Joby’s fine.

Goodrich: I mean…

Spurrier: Phew.

Kyle: Everything looks like it’s okay with Jobes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That was awesome.

Spurrier (as Randy): Thanks. Learning new things.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Well.

Ali (as Yashee): That wouldn’t work on your back, would it? Just mend that bad boy up.

Spurrier (as Randy): That would be awesome, if the nurse didn’t need me to get like six hundred gold worth of stuff.

Ali (as Yashee): Oh, yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, we’re almost there. Yashee and I got ten gold.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): Right.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Anyways. All right. So I guess I’m gonna go ahead and just walk out.

Spurrier: So just enter, yeah.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Oh, I maybe put some of the stuffing in Miyagoato’s ears too, just...

Ali: Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you have any for Sandy?

Spurrier: And I rip his arms back off –

Ali: Okay.

Goodrich: Yep, there we – do the whole thing, yeah.

Spurrier: – pull out some more stuffing, and play the song again.

Goodrich: Okay.

[Players laugh]

Spurrier: And I put some in Zil’s ears too.

Goodrich: Yeah, sure.

Kyle: Yeah. You get enough stuffing to stuff everyone’s ears-

Goodrich: Oh, Thanksgiving’s so soon!

Kyle: It’s so close.

Goodrich: I know. [chuckles]

Kyle: Okay. So you make your way off into the Discordant Fields. It is rolling hills of just long grass, just waving. And after a while, you look around, and you notice it’s really hard to get a bearing on direction.

Goodrich: Is the sun in the sky? Can we not tell by that?

Kyle: It’s a little hazy overhead.

Goodrich: Oh.

Kyle: It’s hazy overhead, and it’s kind of blocking your view, and it makes it difficult to discern what time of day it is and where exactly you are.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right. We should have left a trail. Um, maybe –

Goodrich: Do we know enough – how long have we been walking? Can we, like, leave a trail?

Kyle: Uh, you’ve probably been walking maybe thirty minutes– [Goodrich sighs] -  before you notice that this is kind of – kind of the way – although there is, you know, a part in the grass behind you, so you have at least where you’ve gone.

Goodrich: Okay.

Ali: Hmm.

Kyle: But as you’re walking, go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw, everyone. And I’m gonna lower the DC on this because you stuffed your ears with stuff. [Players cheer] So this will be easier now. Good job. Good thinking.

[Multiple dice rolls]

Ali: A thirteen.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: Ten.

Kyle: Alright.

Goodrich: I got twelve plus five, so seventeen.

Kyle: Okay. So Yashee and Raz’ul, the music is grating, but you’re able to, like, not get sucked in by it. You feel like something’s – like you’re wanting to listen to it.

Goodrich: Oh.

Kyle: It’s like encouraging you to listen to-

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: -all the moving voices. But you’re leading your animals that you’re riding on just perfectly fine, nothing goes wrong there. Randy, however. You’re steering Zil down the way, and you just really start to zone in on these voices and the cacophony that’s going on, and you almost just stare off into space. Raz’ul and Yashee, you notice Randy just kind of, like, go blank.

Goodrich: He doesn’t start to steer Zil off into the grass?

 [Players chuckle]

Kyle: Yeah. Zil starts to – they – he starts to steer Zil off into a direction that you aren’t heading.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh-oh. Hey Randy. What?

Ali (as Yashee): Oh, oh, oh. Hey, hey now!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Come back. What’re you doing? You alright?

Kyle: You come out of it once they-

Spurrier: Oh, okay, okay.

Spurrier (as Randy): Wow! Uh…

Ali (as Yashee): That’s the wrong way. We’re over here.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, right. Sorry. The – you guys are hearing all this stuff, right?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, it’s not too bad. Yeah.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, a little bit.

Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.

Ali (as Yashee): Kinda weird.

Spurrier (as Randy): I think I need some more stuffing.

Spurrier: So I rip up Joby again, but I don’t heal him this time because we’re in the midst of it. But I still – I stuff some more in there.

Goodrich: Okay.

Spurrier: It’s tight.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: Alright. I’m gonna use – I have fifty feet of rope.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: So I’m gonna use some rope and tie it around Zil’s head and just, like, attach it to my saddle.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, here. Give me some too.

Ali (as Yashee): Alright. Here.

Goodrich: Tie it around Miyagoato.

Ali: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Cool, cool.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Forward!

Kyle: Alright. So you – you stop for a moment and you get reassessed, and you look around. And I need you to – everyone to give me a survival check. Actually, if you’re proficient in survival, give me a survival check.

Goodrich: What if we’re not?

Kyle: Don’t give me a survival check.

[Dice roll]

Spurrier: Oh.

Ali: It’s a four plus three. Seven.

Kyle: Okay. So-

Ali: Do I survive?

[Goodrich chuckles]

Goodrich: [singing] I will survive.

Kyle: You feel like you know which way you need to go, Yashee, and you start leading the rest of the group in that direction. However, time comes around, and you recognize something on the path that you’re on – which isn’t a path at all – but you recognize something, and it looks like a bunch of matted-down grass. And you notice there’s a trail behind that matted-down grass where somebody veered off to the right. [Someone groans] And you’re instantly reminded, like, wait, this is – we were just here. And it’s been about thirty minutes or so since you left this area.

Spurrier (as Randy): Should we look at that scroll again?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): For what to do.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Pretty sure we were already here, Yashee.

Ali (as Yashee): Uh-oh. [Players laugh] Oops.

Spurrier (as Randy): What does the scroll say next after our-

Ali (as Yashee): Uh, let’s see.

Spurrier (as Randy): -that first path that we went straight past which we were supposed to do?

Ali (as Yashee): The – it says, “The dissonance is confounding and hypnotic. We’ve lost focus twice now” – [players giggle] – “round and round.”

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, well, we’re doing the steps correctly.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] I know.

Spurrier (as Randy): What does the next one say?

Ali (as Yashee): “Sibling trees found.”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): “Big’uns. Resting, referencing research, then back on foot.”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. So…

Ali (as Yashee): So sibling trees?

Spurrier (as Randy): Trees.

Ali (as Yashee): Sibling trees.

Kyle: Okay. Do you wanna try to give me another survival check to see if you can-

Ali: Alright. Let’s try. 

Kyle: Go ahead and give it – do it at advantage since it is your second time around and you’re taking – I’d say you probably take a moment to actually look at things and observe a little bit more.

Ali: Okay. [rolls dice] Uh, so that would be a three plus three. Okay. [rolls dice]

Goodrich: [sounding pained] Oh!

Ali: It’s a – it’s a – it’s a one. It’s a one. [chuckles]

Goodrich: Aaaand BomBARDed’s lost.

[Players laugh]

Ali: So the highest is a six, Kyle.

Kyle: A six? Kinda the same result. You wind up – [Ali laughs] – Yashee takes a moment-

Ali (as Yashee): I really think I’ve got it now, okay. Just – let’s go this way this time.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.

Kyle: And before you even get a chance, you recognize you’re going the same direction that you went.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee, for real though, do you know where you’re going?

Ali (as Yashee): Um, you know the – uh…no.  

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.

Ali (as Yashee): I had a feeling, but I guess it was just the wrong feeling, you know?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright. Well, actually, I do have a new spell that I just learned, and it’s called Speak with Plants. So-

Ali (as Yashee): Oh!

Kyle: Ooh.

Goodrich: Yeah. It’s a Level 3 spell that I just got. So I was flipping through and I was like, Oh yeah, I have this now. So I can question plants in thirty feet of us about events in the spell’s area within the past day, and I can turn difficult terrain caused by plant growth into ordinary terrain and vice versa; it’ll last for the duration. And, plants might be able to perform other tasks on my behalf at Kyle’s discretion. So-

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: They can’t uproot themselves, but they can freely move branches and tendrils and stalks and stuff. “If a plant creature is in the area, you can communicate with it as easy as if you shared a common language, but you gain no magical ability to influence it.” So, Kyle, can I just talk to the grass? Is that cool?

Kyle: Yeah. That’s a plant that there is to talk to.

Goodrich: Okay. So…

Ali: How many of those – how many Level 3 spells can you do in a day?

Goodrich: Uh, wow. Well, you know, uh, three. Three. I can do three.

Ali: Alright, cool. ‘Cause there’s that maybe tree coming up that we are gonna see-

Goodrich: Oh, yeah.

Ali: -and I thought that might be a good idea for that tree also.

Goodrich: Okay. I’ll just burn all three of my Level 3 spell slots, no problemo.

Kyle: Yes.

Goodrich: Well, I’m gonna use one now. So I bend down and I pet the grass, and I say-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, hay. Uh, hello.

Kyle (as grass): [sleepily] Hello.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, hey. Cool. I wasn’t sure that was gonna work. So – so we’re looking for some folks – bards, actually, like us – that may have passed through here, and we keep getting lost. Do you know where we can find them, or at least the way to go so that – any information you might have, actually, which would be great, since I can talk to you freely.

Kyle (as grass): I’ve been here … much like the blades before me.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.

Kyle (as grass): And there’s tales from long ago, other blades … saying-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [gently] Skip to the end. Do you know which way we need to go?

Kyle (as grass): -that there were some who came through here what may be years ago.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Wow.

Kyle (as grass): And-

Spurrier (as Randy): Ask them about the trees.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, do you know where the – there’s trees. Yashee, what does it say?

Ali (as Yashee): What does what say?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): The trees, what kind of trees are they?

Ali (as Yashee): Oh, sibling trees.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sibling trees. Do you know anything about where we can find some sibling trees? Sibling tree-

Kyle: You hear a rustling.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [startled] Uh!

Kyle: You hear the grass say:

Kyle (as grass): Yes, there are siblings … nearby, the bigger plants.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Can you guys, like, bend in the direction we need to walk, so that we can maybe find them?

Kyle (as grass): I think it’s … yes.

Kyle: And the grass starts to part in a direction.

Goodrich: Sweet!

Spurrier: Nice!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Hey, so we’re gonna follow this grass, guys.

Goodrich: And Kyle, can I just like, while I’m walking, I just keep bending down and petting it? ‘Cause the spell, like, radiates from me, right? That’s what it says here.

Kyle: Yeah. Yeah, it radiates from you in thirty feet.

 Goodrich: So that way, they can – I can just say to them:

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, do you guys mind just, you know, keep bending this way, pass the word along, and keep us going in a straight line so we don’t get lost again. That all works?

Kyle (as grass): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh!

Kyle (as grass): We can do that.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Well, man, I appreciate it. That’s awesome. Thanks.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, I’m-

Ali (as Yashee): Alright.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -feeling like a real druid! Oh boy!

Spurrier (as Randy): I was gonna say, those are some druid skills.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, alright. Okay. So I keep – keep petting, walking down the road.

Kyle: Okay. It makes-

Ali: I’m gonna help pet.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Everyone pet.

Spurrier: Me too. I’m gonna have Zil do it, because I’m up on him.

Goodrich: That’s true.

Ali: Right.

Kyle: All petting the grass. Yeah, no, and it makes a clear path, and eventually you crest a hill, following this parted grass. And it’s a little bit after ten minutes, but even after your spell effects have faded, the grass is still parting ahead of you.

Goodrich: Oooh!

Spurrier: Nice.

Kyle: Um, you crest this hill, and you can see these three trees off in the distance, and you have sight on them. It takes you a little bit longer than you would expect to get to them, but by the time you get close enough, you realize how massive these trees are.

Goodrich: And the music is still the same volume and everything?

Kyle: Yeah, music’s still the same volume. It’s – you know, you’ve – you talked to the plants for a little bit, so you know, that kind of broke your attention from the music maybe.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: But yeah, the cotton has definitely helped in this leg of the trip.

Goodrich: So I guess I could hear them through the cotton. It’s more of a feel their force.

Spurrier: Yeah, I was gonna say, like, Kyle, we didn’t hear anything from the grass, right? It was just like inside of his mind?

Kyle: No, it’s just – yeah. It’s more like-

Goodrich: I don’t make like a Parselmouth, like [babbles in creepy voice].

[Ali laughs]

Kyle: If you want to, you can.

Goodrich: It’s a verbal thing to cast it.

Spurrier: You can speak with all the colors-

Goodrich: -of – of the grass.

[Players giggle]

Kyle: But yeah. You arrive at these three trees, and they’re just – they’re enormous. And their branches stretch out and intertwine to create a large canopy between them.

Goodrich: Aww, a big tree hug.

Kyle: You have to walk a little bit longer than anticipated, like I said, but as you get closer, you hear the wind whipping between the trees, carrying the dissonance of the fields with it. So – and these trees are just – I mean, they probably stand – it’s like redwood size-

Goodrich: Whoa.

Kyle: They’re big trees. And not – these trees are like, they’re tall, but they’re more round than they are-

Goodrich: Oh. It’s not something where, if we just made a perception check, we could’ve just seen them off in the distance.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Like, "There they are.”

Kyle: No, no, no, no. They’re not super tall or anything.

Goodrich: Oh, okay.

Ali: So would you say they’re maybe even more wide than tall?

[Goodrich laughs]

Kyle: Yes, they are.

Ali: Okay.

Goodrich: Cool.

Ali: Thanks. I just needed a visual.

Kyle: Astute observation.

Ali: Yup.

Kyle: Okay. So, yeah. You arrive at these trees, and you – there’s space to walk in between them. You can walk into the center if you’d like. I don’t know how you want to approach it. So what do you do as you approach these trees?

Spurrier (as Randy): Yashee, what’s next on the scroll after these trees? Just-

Ali (as Yashee): “Sibling trees found. Big’uns.”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Ali (as Yashee): Which I guess maybe just – yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): That checks out.

Ali (as Yashee): Uh, “resting, referencing research, then back on foot.” But then, right after that, it says, “Couldn’t rest with this music, headed east. So tired.”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hmm, maybe the trees know. Well, let me see if they know.

Goodrich: And here goes spell slot number two in the level three category, so…

Spurrier: Burn it good.

Goodrich: Poof! Are they all three within like thirty feet-ish?

Kyle: I’m gonna say you’re only gonna be able to get one-

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Just because – yeah.

Spurrier: Because they’re so, like, massive that it wouldn’t even?

  Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier: Jeez.

Goodrich: I go to the coolest-looking tree.

Kyle: Uh, give me an investigation-

Goodrich: Well, yeah.

Kyle: -to tell which one is the coolest-looking.

Goodrich: Or the wisest, I suppose. [Ali laughs; dice roll] Well, that’s a big fat two plus – I don’t have my sheet, but it’s a two plus, at most, five.

Ali: We’ll say one or two. [laughs]

Kyle: I mean, you’re investigating, and you’re looking at the grain of the wood, and one thing that you notice is they all look like they’re around the same age, as far as trees go.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: But nothing stands out in particular that makes you think one is cooler than the other.

[Players chuckle]

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Yeah,

Goodrich: I’m just gonna go up to the one closest to me and do the thing, and say:

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey. Um, so yeah.  We just came from Strumlott’s, looking for some bards.  They said they found some cool trees like you. Do you maybe know where they went, or where people normally wind up? Or just maybe some general information about this here discordant field. Like, you kinda seem like the visitors’ center of this sort of swath of land here in Beetzart. Um, hello. I’m Raz’ul, by the way. Sorry. That was rude.

Kyle (as tree): [very deep, modified voice] Hello!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, yes. Hi. [cautiously] What’s your name?

Kyle (as tree): You have returned?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [cautiously] No, first time here.

Kyle (as tree): Hmmm. Your energy feels familiar.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa. I have lots of relatives. That might be…

Kyle (as tree): No, you’ve brought it back.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That’s cool.

Kyle (as tree): Reedaba?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa, nope. Not-

Kyle (as tree): You’ve returned with Usumptin.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, yep. Actually, hey.

Goodrich: And I take Usumptin down off my back.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): This is Usumptin. I think it’s actually a little bit better now. I made some modifications.

Goodrich: And I strum a chord like [strums a chord].

Kyle: Nice.

Goodrich: And – yeah. Um, actually, do we know, like, six chords, six-nine chords and-

Kyle: Yeah. We’ll just say-

Goodrich: -pentatonic scales and stuff?

Kyle: Yeah. I mean, you know, that’s – that – you were at school for a little while, so let’s just say, yeah, you know. You talked about it a little bit in those in-between moments that you don’t see.

Goodrich: Right. We learned it from Mac Dammitt.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: He was like, “play a pentatonic scale.” [Keyboard plays scale in the background.]Yeah. Okay, cool.

Kyle: Yeah. You had to ear-train to learn it, so-

Goodrich: Yeah, true. Okay, cool.

Kyle: There you go. Let’s say that. You learned it from Mac Dammitt.

Goodrich: Okay, sweet. So I play C6-9. [Guitar chord]

Kyle: Okay. You strum a chord and Usumptin lights up.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ep! Hey!

Kyle: And you two, Randy and Yashee, you see this happen.

Ali (as Yashee): Whoa, look at that!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, it knows Usumptin. Sorry.

Spurrier (as Randy): I was like, yeah, what’s going on?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I know it probably sounded like [vague open-mouth vowel sounds]. Sorry. Uh, yeah. No, it knows Usumptin, and it actually thinks that I’m the person that gave Usumptin to the Oodelolly dwarves.

Ali (as Yashee): Oh.

Goodrich: -which is pretty wild. That’s-

Kyle (as tree): Reedaba, did you find its wielder?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, well, no. And also, I know Reedaba – I know of that person, but they’re super old. Like, I don’t know if – they’ve been around for years. Uhh-

Kyle (as tree): Hmm. Longer than I have, at least.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa. How old are you?

 Kyle (as tree): Years mean nothing to my kind.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yep, that’s pretty old. Well, tree-being-thing…

Kyle (as tree): Reedaba would call me Branch.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What – [snickers] – cool. Uh, Branch, can you give us a sec, just one sec?

Kyle (as Branch): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [snickers] Okay. Hey, do you guys wanna go maybe and, you know, play to the other trees with me, and maybe it’ll do something again? ‘Cause, you know, Usumptin lit up. See this? Check this out. [guitar chord]

Kyle: And it lights up.

[Guitar chord]

Ali (as Yashee): Oh!

Spurrier (as Randy): Well, let’s-

Kyle: It lights up again. [Guitar chord] And again.

Ali (as Yashee): Okay. Sure.

Spurrier: Oh jeez. Christmas lights over here.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, let’s try something different when we get to the different trees. I wanna-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): So let’s pop on over.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’ll be right back, Branch.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Oh?

Kyle (as Branch): Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. [snickers]

Spurrier (as Randy): So let’s do something more dissonant.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohhh!

Spurrier (as Randy): I wanna see if it affects how much it lights up at all or anything.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. What’s-

Spurrier (as Randy): Or lights up differently.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, what’s the most dissonant thing we could play?

Spurrier (as Randy): Just a cluster?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, okay.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Spurrier: And I hand my organ down to Zil, say-

Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, can you hold this, please?

Kyle (as Zil): [grunts] Yeah.

Ali (as Yashee): Oh.

Spurrier (as Randy): Alright. And so let’s play this chord on the count of three.

Spurrier: And so, what’s gonna happen on three is, Randy’s gonna jump off and do a belly flop onto his keys [players laugh] to play them all.

Spurrier and Goodrich (as Randy and Raz’ul): Alright. Three, two, one. [dissonant chord of keys and guitar, bass and cymbal hit]

Kyle: And when you strike these chords or this cluster, the music of the field swells in volume-

Goodrich: Oh.

Kyle: -to try to overcome your dissonant sound.

Goodrich: Ooohhh.

Kyle: The trees don’t respond in any way, but your instruments do light up. All of your instruments.

 Spurrier: Do they light up more or in a different way or anything or-

Kyle: No.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: Pretty normal to what you saw with Raz’ul’s guitar.

Goodrich: Randy didn’t break his keyboard, did he?

Kyle: No!

Goodrich: Oh, phew.

Spurrier: Yeah, I did an acrobatics and – [dice roll] – oh, I got a twenty. Okay, great.

[Kyle laughs]

Goodrich: You lie! You’re starting to spill out into your own – oh no.

Spurrier: That still would have been a twenty-two, so.

Kyle: Sounds good.

Spurrier: Alright. Phew. Alright.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright. Well, that was weird. Um-

Ali: Well, what happened when he played the regular chord? Did it – the music do anything different?

Kyle: No.

Spurrier (as Randy): Well, maybe we try something nicer at the other tree, just to be on the safe side?

Ali (as Yashee): Sure.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Maybe something nice and harmonious.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.

Kyle: Okay. You start walking away from the second tree, and Raz’ul, you’re on the edge of the thirty-foot radius of your spell, and you hear a whisper in your ear that goes-

Kyle (as tree): [cautiously] Theremin?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, what? Oh, hey.

Goodrich: I run back over to that second tree.

Kyle (as tree): Theremin is here.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Theremin?

Kyle (as tree): Yes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No. This is Raz’ul. Hello. What’s your name.

Kyle (as tree): Hello Raz’ul. I am…Branch.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): But – okay. Your friend’s name is Branch too. That probably gets confusing, but that’s cool. Hey. So what’d you say? Theremin? What’s – who’s Theremin?

Kyle (as Branch): Theremin … is my planter.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Your planter. Is that who planted you-

Kyle (as Branch): Mhm.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -so long ago? Okay.

Kyle (as Branch): Yes. But you read as somebody else too.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): oh boy.

Kyle (as Branch): You say Raz’ul-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): -but Theremin can’t see their kin.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I don’t-

Kyle (as Branch): So how would you know to be here together?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Boy, you trees are confusing. Um, no. I’m a dwarf, as far as I know anyways. Oh boy. Sorry.

Spurrier: It’s getting deep.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No. See, I’m a dwarf named Raz’ul Daz’ul-son. So yeah, I don’t know what you’re talking about, champ. What – what do you mean? What-

Kyle (as Branch): Okay. If you are not them, then leave this place.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa, okay. Well, can we try one more thing real quick, then we’ll be on our way, maybe with some directions, possibly? Okay. Hey, guys-

Kyle (as Branch): What direction do you need to leave?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, can we maybe find our friends? They said they found you not too long ago, and they’re pretty lost. You remember some other folks coming through here, possibly?

Kyle (as Branch): Yes. Some came through, and they would not listen to us telling them to leave.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): You’re the first person since…them-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool.

Kyle (as Branch): -to be able to talk to us.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, so one of them could talk to you too, huh?

Kyle (as Branch): Theremin was able to talk to me, but he’s my planter.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): O…kay. Not part of Tubular Phunk Karate. They any good? [giggles]

Kyle (as Branch): No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. [Players giggle] Okay. Hey. We’re gonna try playing a chord; tell us what you think about it. Okay? Just one chord. It’ll only take a second.

Goodrich: And I motion to you guys.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Come over here. Let’s play the chord real quick.

Goodrich: I don’t – what do you guys wanna play?

Spurrier: How about, like, a major ninth.

Goodrich: Okay. C sharp major ninth?

Kyle: Okay. Thank you.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Kyle’s like “what?”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Three, two, one. [Guitar, bass, and piano chord, quiet cymbal crash]

Kyle: Okay. So you play this chord, and your instruments light up together. And you notice the wood grain of the second tree, it begins to kinda solidify in a line, and then this image almost appears, but then it goes away.

Goodrich: Oh.

Spurrier: Uh. So none of that tree stuff happened with the dissonance?

Kyle: No.

Spurrier: Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, maybe we do that, but to a greater degree.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Maybe, think, in a song.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh my!

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, yeah.

Goodrich: Alright. Kyle?

Kyle: Yeah. [overlapping conversation] If you wanna play a song, we can play a song here.

Ali: Do we wanna see - [sighs] – I mean, just this tree, or are the other trees gonna kinda do something? Like, should we each be at one of them?

Spurrier: Could we just try the chord at the third tree, just to be safe?

Ali: Yeah, just to be safe.

Goodrich: Okay.

Spurrier: Okay. Let’s hustle on over.

Goodrich: Duh duh duh duh.

Spurrier: Duh duh duh.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s try just a C major chord this time.

Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.

Spurrier and Goodrich (as Randy and Raz’ul): Three, two, one. [Guitar and piano chord.]

Kyle: Okay. So you play this chord in front of the third tree, and the grain of the wood begins to solidify again, creating another picture. It’s almost as like, you know the magic eye pictures-

Goodrich: Right.

Kyle: -when you finally get them into focus? It does that kind of thing. And you see that it is a picture of two mallets-

Goodrich: Oh.

Kyle: -that formed.

Spurrier: Oh.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Let’s go back over to that other tree and play just a C major chord there, instead of adding in that nine.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It’s a little dissonant.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier (as Randy): It’s too much.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Three, two, one. [Guitar chord]

Kyle: Okay. And as you play this chord, a different image comes into view, much like the last one. And you see the picture of an organ.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh! You go over there.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, okay. I see where this is going. Great. So same C major, here we go. Three, two, one. [Guitar chord with keyboard behind]

Kyle: And on yours, the image of a lute is formed out of the grains of the wood.

Goodrich: Ah, so close. It’s a guitar.

Ali: Oh no.

Goodrich: Well, we tried. Guess we’re gonna leave.

Spurrier: Better luck next time.

Ali: Let’s get out of here.

Kyle: It’s not for us.

Goodrich: No. Okay. Yes. So I look up to the lute tree and say:

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey. What would you say if we made a song for you trees?

Kyle (as Branch): Something other than this that’s been playing forever? Sounds delightful.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, cool. Yeah, ‘cause that actually sounds terrible to us. Does it sound terrible to you, too?

Kyle (as Branch): [dejectedly] You get used to it.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] Right. Okay. Alright. What would you – is there anything you wanna hear about? That’s generally what we do.

Kyle (as Branch): Nothing in particular.

Goodrich: Okay, helpful.

Spurrier: And I call over to you:

Spurrier (as Randy): Can you ask him why there’s instruments on the trees and why we match?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. What’s up with that?

Kyle (as Branch): We bear the mark of the house of our planters.

 Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, cool. So Reedaba, I guess, planted you? Is that what you were saying?

Kyle (as Branch): Yes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Hey, Randy?

Spurrier (as Randy): Yes?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Do you know anyone named Theremin?

Spurrier: Let me do a history check and I’ll find out.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Okay.

[Dice roll]

Goodrich: Oh boy.

Spurrier: That is a nine plus two.

Kyle: Nothing comes to mind about a person named Theremin.

Spurrier (as Randy): No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. No – no worries.

Spurrier (as Randy): I mean, I can’t read, so—

[Laughter]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.

Kyle: It should have been at disadvantage, I guess.

Spurrier: Yeah, right.

Kyle: Just like, “I’ve never read a history book.” No.

Goodrich: You can pass down history in other ways. C’mon, guys.

Kyle: Yeah. But he already said he was taken from his family where they do that, so … listen to your friend.

Goodrich: Okay, okay.

[Players laugh]

Spurrier: So, well, just to ask: like, given my family’s history and the association with the Mons Organum and stuff inside, like, there’s nothing that I was taught as, like, a kid about anything to do with anything special or a Theremin person? Okay, cool.

Kyle: No.

Spurrier: Just making sure.

Goodrich: Cool.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, Yashee?

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Come over here.

Goodrich: And I motion to go over to the mallet tree.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Come over here with me. Randy, you can come too, if you want, or- 

Spurrier (as Randy): No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Hey, uh, mallet tree? What’s up?

Kyle (as tree): You can call me Branch.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Branch? Yup, figured. Hey, this is Yashee. Say hi, Yashee.

Ali (as Yashee): Hi, Yashee.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, okay. So do you – do you recognize her? Does she seem familiar to you at all?

Kyle (as Branch): [rumbles]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Maybe?

Kyle (as Branch): You – Legato – it’s … not been that long.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Legato. You know anyone named Legato? That ever come up?

Ali (as Yashee): Um, um – [rolls dice] –

Kyle (as Branch): I didn’t expect to see you this soon.

Ali: Fourteen? Fourteen?

Kyle: Fourteen? Nothing comes to mind right offhand.

Ali (as Yashee): Uh, no. That doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard of.

Goodrich: You guys should really research your backstories more, I’m telling ya.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Uh, cool. Hey, hold onto that, Yashee. Legato, that means something. Uh, Randy? Hey, Randy?

Spurrier (as Randy): Yes?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Theremin. We’re gonna teach you that word next, buddy. Okay?

Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sweet. Okay. Hey. So here’s what we’re gonna do, Branch. We’re gonna play you all a song, and it’s gonna be swell, and, uh, yeah. Anything that you like to hear about? Your other tree Branch friend wasn’t super helpful in that department, but maybe you have something you wanna hear? 

  Kyle (as Branch): Something other than the discordant music we’ve heard forever-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Yep. Okay. Uh-huh.

Kyle (as tree): -would be great.

Goodrich: So-

Spurrier (as Randy): Can you ask him – can you ask him if they heard something else, like, what that would do for them? If it would be like advantageous or something?

 Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): I’ll say this.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.

Kyle (as Branch): Your music, make sure it has enough bark, but it also has bite.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bite. Yep, there it is.

Good.

Spurrier (as Randy): Aah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sweet. Okay. So I’m gonna go over to the lute tree. Yashee, you’re gonna-

Goodrich: I don’t have to yell.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee, you stay here.

Ali (as Yashee): I’ll stay here. Okay.

 Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Randy, stay over there.

Spurrier (as Randy): I am.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, great.

Goodrich: Okay. We do that. Three, two, one, roll chord dice.

 Kyle: Yup.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Okey dokey. Well, I’m definitely thinking major. The trees liked that.

Spurrier: Yeah, that seems reasonable.

Ali: Yeah. Yup, yup.

Goodrich: Time signature? Maybe 3…for the three trees?

Kyle, Spurrier and Ali: Ohh!

Kyle: These trees are three trees.

[Multiple dice rolls]

Goodrich: Uhh. G, G, B diminished, and G. Great.

Kyle: Whoa.

Ali: And C.

Goodrich: And C. Okay. This is a very dominant. [Piano chords.] Okay. We’ll just do that. There we go.

 Spurrier: Little oom-pah.

Kyle: [singing] What are these trees? What do they do?

[Players laugh]

Ali: Hey, don’t give it all away. C’mon now.

Goodrich: I know.

Kyle: Alright, no. Let’s hear those drums, Ali.

Ali: Okay. If we’re doing it in triple, I have a D10, so [rolls dice] it’s a nine. Jazz Waltz 2.

Goodrich: Alright.

Kyle: Cool, cool. You know, these are trees. It is fall.

Ali: Fine.

Goodrich: Hmm.

Kyle: Could have some Autumn Leaves.

Goodrich: Autumn Leaves. Yeah, there it was. [Piano note]

Ali: [rolls dice] Alright. And the kit is gonna be ninety-three.

Goodrich: I just wanna write a normal jazz waltz, Ali. Can we just do that?

Kyle: Vox Dubstep 1!

Ali: It’s Tight Kit 1?

Goodrich: Oh, that’s okay. [Overlapping conversation] Nice studio kit with nice tight snare. Love it.

Kyle: Yeah, sweet.

Ali: And that’s it.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Man, awesome! I – yes, let’s do it.

Kyle: Write this trees threes song.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Hey, everyone. You know who it is, your dungeon maestro Kyle, here to say thank you for joining us and thank you for listening. Uh, we enjoy you coming back every time. Let me get to some special news real quick before we get back to the bards’ song. Next episode, we’re gonna be doing our holiday one-off. I’ve written up a little something called The Summoning of Goblocks, so hopefully that’ll be just in time for your Turkeyday special times. Thanksgiving! That’s the word. Thanksgiving! Come on, Kyle! And during this episode, you heard us talking about 6-9 chords – [whispers] nice – and pentatonic scales and stuff like that, and I’m gonna actually bring Spurrier in real quick, just to give us a little brief overview of that so you know what’s going on.    

Spurrier: Oh, yeah. Hi.

Kyle: Hey, Spurrier. How’s it going?

Spurrier: Oh, good, good.

Kyle: Good to hear.

Spurrier: So yeah. So if you visualize a piano in your head, you have your white notes and your black notes. And there’s groups of two black notes and three black notes, and they go back and forth, and that gives you a total of five. And so pentatonic – “penta” meaning five and “tonic” meaning note – thus is the five-note scale. And what’s special about this scale is that there are no notes that are super close to each other – what would be known as a half-step — that gives you [plays two notes together] that delightfulness. So when you play all these together – [series of notes going up] – they just all blend really nicely. And so cultures throughout the world, throughout time, have really gravitated towards this scale. It has generated a lot of really classic songs like, um – [starts playing melody] – Amazing Grace. The entire thing can be played with these notes. Um, or – [plays “Old MacDonald”] – e-i-e-i-bard.

Kyle: Yeah. [Chuckles]

Spurrier: And, yeah. And, you know, additionally, if you added one extra note, it gives you what’s called the “blue note,” it gives you the blues scale. [plays blues scale] And so what’s cool is, if you play all these notes at the same time – [plays chord] – you get a major chord – [repeats chord three times] – but then you also get the sixth [plays note] and the ninth [plays note]. And to kind of extrapolate on that: if you play the classic major scale – [plays scale] – what I mean by that is the sixth is the [counts while playing] one, two, three, four, five, sixth note. And then if you went beyond the full scale – [counting while playing again] seven, eight, nine – it’d just be the beginning of the next octave, or just the next rep of that scale. And so you play them all at the same time – [plays chord] – it gets you what would be called a six-nine chord, ‘cause you’ve added the sixth and the ninth. And it’s just got a really mellow kind of quality to it, compared to, if you, say, had a seventh [plays seventh chord.     Still sounds nice, but there’s also [plays chord again] that dissonance in there. And so that’s what we can do. And we can use those chords – you can use them with a minor chord if you wanted to – [demonstrates] – gives a spooky, mysterious kind of quality. But we’re using it with major in this case, ‘cause again, very pleasing, very mellow, just all kind of blends together nicely. And so that’s what we’re gonna do with this song, and hopefully the trees will be all pleased with that after all the dissonance that they’ve dealt with.    

Kyle: Yeah. Well, we’ll just have to see.

Spurrier: So yeah.

Kyle: But before we get back to the song, we’re gonna do the giveaway real quick. And Spurrier, since I have you here-

Spurrier: Oooh!

Kyle: -if you don’t mind, go ahead and running that random number generator so we can see which two of our listeners, who retweeted and follow us on Twitter, win.

Spurrier: Alright. Here’s number 1…

Kyle: Number 1.

Spurrier: 117.

Kyle: One seventeen. That is gonna be Molshaugh, @M-o-l-s-h-a-u-g-h. Who’s the next one?

Spurrier: And number two is 52.

Kyle: Shifty-two. @DylanOshier, D-y-l-a-n-o-s-h-i-e-r. Alright. Congratulations, you two. We’ll be in contact with you to get the deets so you can get that sweet swag. Thank you for your help, Spurrier.

Spurrier: Oh, sure.

Kyle: I appreciate it.

Spurrier: Of course.

Kyle: Before we get back, I wanna mention that we had to do the vocals on this later; just time constraints and the utter nonsense that goes into making this podcast. We had to do the vocals later, and in that time, Ali got a little sick. So we’ve kind of improvised with what we were able to do, and we hope you enjoy the song nonetheless. That’s all I got for you, so otherwise, you know it: Bombardedcast.com or Bombarded.bandcamp.com, where you can find our recent Bards on Board EP that we released. But that is all I’ve got. Let’s get back to the show.

[Music transitions]

Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, I think I got something.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh yeah?

Spurrier (as Randy): Here we go. A one-two-tree, one-two-tree. [Goodrich snickers]

[Piano starts playing, then other instruments join with vocals]

Goodrich and Spurrier: [singing] Drowning in the dissonance, out here all alone, you’re lost in the cacophony, is this all you’ve known?

Spurrier, Goodrich, and Ali: [singing] What about the old days, when you could hear the blue jays, and listen to the grass sway, and bathe in every sun ray?  

Spurrier and Goodrich: Sifting through the din to find harmony within, every note will be your choice, so let your song begin!

Spurrier, Goodrich and Ali: And now it’s like the old days, when you could hear the blue jays, and listen to the grass sway, and bathe in every sun ray. [2x]

Kyle: Okay. So as you’re performing your song, you’re each standing in front of your designated tree, essentially, and your instruments begin to glow. And that same magical aura that you’re become used to is emitting and erupting out of the instruments and flowing out and around the trees, and flowing up them and over, creating a net of sorts. And you start to hear the dissonance of the music around you start to fade, and you hear just kind of more harmonious things, and it’s actually matching up with the music that you’re playing.

Goodrich: Aww, sweet!

Spurrier: Whoa!

Kyle: It begins to change into what you’re playing, so you no longer hear this dissonance. And this net just kind of seems to drape over the entire area. While this is happening though, the magical essence that is going up the trees causes those lines to re-form into the symbols that you saw: the mallets, the organ, and the lute. The bark just becomes one solid piece of an image and its outlined, and you notice that this actually is starting to turn into what looks like a door.

Goodrich: Yes! Nightmare before Christmas! Let’s do this!

Kyle: Yes.

Goodrich: Yes. I’m going in.

Kyle: And each of these doors – [imitates a squeaky hinge]-

Goodrich: Yup!

Kyle: -creak open just a bit.

Goodrich: Ohhh! I’m going in mine.

Kyle: And, yeah.

Spurrier: Ahh!

Kyle: And that is the result of your song.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh-ho!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey! My tree door is open!

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, mine too.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bye bye.

Spurrier: Exam – well, yeah.

[Players stammer for a second.]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Stammering] Um, hey, uh, Branch. Uh, is this better, music-wise? Maybe sounding-

Kyle (as Branch): Yes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We were hoping to kind of filter out some of the dissonance and kinda help you guys out, thinking that maybe, if you had some easier music, you could clear your mind, maybe help us out with where we need to go if we help you out with, you know, your situation here.

Kyle (as Branch): We – I – us – could point you in the direction that the last ones who came through went.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Also-

Kyle (as Branch): Especially for what you’ve done.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): But-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [quietly] Ooh...

Kyle (as Branch): -you’ve earned your way in here-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): -by what you’ve been given or have taken-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [quietly] Or…

Kyle (as Branch): I don’t know, but you command this familiar power…all too well, to where I would feel I’m doing a disservice to my planter for not permitting you in.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): W-what all’s in there? ‘Cause I noticed your little – your fly is down and now-

Kyle (as Branch): That … I do not know.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Kyle (as Branch): I’m merely the container.

Spurrier: And not know what’s in there. That’s worry….

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Now I really want to go in.

Ali (as Yashee): Well, let’s just go. You ready?

Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s do it.

Goodrich: Well, you guys all going in your own door?

Ali: I don’t wanna go in if it’s, like, pitch black, but if I can see enough with, like, my dark vision, then I will go in.

Kyle: Yeah. It’s dark, but if you have dark vision, you can see in there. Randy, are you using your drift globe?

Spurrier: Uh, yes. That would be a good idea.

Kyle: Okay, cool. So you all see kind of a similar-style room: it’s domed, pretty open, there are things littered around it. You probably have to go in to get a better idea. But you notice that there’s carvings on the wall, and they’re – look like very tiny runes that just kind of litter the wall. But you can each tell that there’s nothing – doesn’t look like there’s anything hazardous in here, or anything that you should be wary about.

Spurrier: Okay.

Ali: Okay.

Goodrich: Cool.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I can actually see inside mine; I’m gonna hop in real quick. That cool?

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah. I mean, it looks-

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): It looks safe-ish.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, cool.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, I’m going in.

Spurrier (as Randy): Cool.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright.

Goodrich: Hop in.

Kyle: Okay. Yashee, give me an investigation check.

[Dice roll]

Ali: And that’s a twelve plus nothing.

Kyle: Okay. That works. You get in there and you’re looking around, and you notice the runes that are carved into the walls. You notice that they kind of light up a little bit when you walk in, and they add a little bit of light to this area and it makes it easier to see and notice things. And you see these shelving units, and they’ve got different trinkets on them, and it looks like collectibles that somebody’s gathered in their travels, and they’ve placed them in different areas that coincide with a label for a continent. Having recently talked to Tabitha about, you know, the different continents in the world, there’s lables for Apollonia, Alcan, Arlin, Beetzart. And also, on one of the walls, you notice that there’s maps on the wall, and they’re like – they have different points on them, like somebody’s been visiting them, and they’re marking out points where they’ve been. And it just looks like somebody has, like, kept track of their travels, and-

Ali: Okay.

Kyle: -this is where they come back and leave things. And you’re going through the shelves and you’re looking through, and you notice that there is a small packet. It’s just like a small little thing that’s sitting on one of the shelves. It’s closed. And, uh, yeah.

Ali: Okay. So the maps have, like, all the continents on them?

Kyle: Yeah. Well, there’s a map for Beetzart, Arlin, Alcan, and then there’s a half-done one for Apollonia.

Ali: Yeah, I’m  just gonna – can I just take all the maps?

Kyle: [giggling] Yeah, you can take all the maps.

Ali: Okay. I have a little empty canister, so – for parchment, so I’ll roll those up and stick them in there. Are there any trinkets that, like, stick out to me?

Kyle: Yeah, there are. There are some trinkets that look really familiar to some of the jewelry that you saw your mother wear when you were in travels.

Ali: Hmm.

Kyle: Looks very – you know, very regal in a sense of it being tribal. But yeah. You know, there’s like a headdress, there is a necklace of sorts. Pretty much reminds you a lot of the orc tribal gear that your mom would have on.

Ali: I’m gonna take all that stuff and add it to my disguise kit-

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: -in case I need to look like a fancy orc at some point.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: Nice.

Kyle: Awesome.

Ali: So just open up my bag and sweep all of it in there.

Kyle: Alright.

Ali: And you mentioned a packet, so I’ll check that packet out.

Kyle: Yeah. You take that packet, you flip it over … and you are just bewildered and caught off guard when you see that it says “Things for Yashee.”

Ali: Oh!

Goodrich: Gee!

Ali (as Yashee): Uhhh, should I open it now? Should I wait and open it with the guys? Hmm, uhh.

Ali: Okay. I – I don’t see anything else I really want to look at, so I’m going to take that packet outside and look at it.

Kyle: So you take it outside. So that’s you’re exploring the area. Randy?

Spurrier: Mhm.

Kyle: You walk in with the drift globe, and immediately, your feet are met with just strewn parts of different keyboards and pianos and other manuals. And I’m talking about like keys and hammers and piping and rods and screws literally on the floor.

Spurrier: Man.

Goodrich: You basically stepped on a bunch of Legos.

[Ali laughs]

Spurrier: Exactly. True.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: So you’re wading through this just mound of broken-down and decrepit-looking organs, and you see that there is a workbench that is on the far side of the room, and above this workbench, you see a bunch of different pieces of paper that are hung up there. And they’re – some of them are torn off; some are torn in half and on the floor; some are marked through; some of them have really intricate, different-looking notes on them.

Spurrier: Mhm.

Kyle: But – and you’re also met with the glow from the runes that fill this place as well. But yeah. That’s what you notice in this room so far.

Spurrier: So do these runes match the one that are on my organ?

Kyle: Tell you what. Give me an investigation. This one should be easier, looking at one symbol next to another.

Spurrier: Right. [Rolls dice] That is an eight plus two.

Kyle: Okay. Yeah, that’s good enough for me.

Spurrier: Phew!

Kyle: Yeah. You can tell that there’s a – the runes that are on the walls, there’s many of them in comparison to what are on your organ.

Spurrier: Mhm.

Kyle: But you notice there is a correlation between a few select runes and the ones that are on your organ.

Spurrier: Okay. But since there’s a lot, like trying to draw some of them, that would take a long time.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Okay. Then we’ll hold off on that. Um, did that investigation also let me be able to like kinda sift through some of these plans and parts and see if anything seems particularly useful and worth taking? ‘Cause I’m guessing I can’t take all of this stuff; it sounds like a lot. 

Kyle: Yeah, it’s a lot of stuff. And with that investigation check, you get through the first couple. Like, you pick up a few that are broken in half. Some of them are just busted at the end and it looks like somebody has ripped the insides out, and you can tell those insides have been put in another one. But after about the first four, you can tell that there’s probably really nothing useful here.

Spurrier: It’s just junk. Okay.

Kyle: One thing you are noticing, though, is that they look really similar to your organ.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: They look like they are like prototypes-

Spurrier: Hmmm.

Kyle: -of your organ.    

Spurrier: Okay. Um…

Goodrich: It’s Randy’s organ, Mark 1.

Spurrier: Mark 1. Oh boy. [Kyle laughs] Is there anything with the plans that seems worth taking, or does that all seem like it could potentially be older stuff too? Like, nothing like new and fancy that they were planning or-

Kyle: No. It looks like – it looks like there is one space. As you’re investigating, you notice, yeah, a lot of them have X’s and crosses through them, and, you know, minute notes that are written in more of these runes that you’ve seen. But you notice that there’s one space where it looks like there should be a plan, but it is missing. And it’s not missing in a sense like, others have been ripped off the wall or torn in half or, you know, what have you. This one’s just gone. You can tell that there’s a space missing for it.

Spurrier: Huh. Okay. Uh, is there anything else around the room that seems worth taking or-

Kyle: No.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: Seems like that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Spurrier: Alright. I guess I’ll mosey then.

Kyle: Yep.

Goodrich: Your souvenir was knowledge.

Spurrier: Oh boy.

[Players giggle]

Kyle: Alright. Raz’ul.

Goodrich: Huh!

 Kyle: You walk into your tree, and you see automatically-

Goodrich: I say “Ow!” when I walk through the door.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Just walk right into it.

Goodrich: I’m just kidding, Kyle.

Kyle: You immediately are drawn to the image of what looks like a small forge setup.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: You can see that there are hammers, an anvil, a small kiln. And it looks like there is a table set up with a mold on it. What the mold is, you can’t tell from just walking in, but-

 Goodrich: I can roll investigation, right?

Kyle: Yeah. Go ahead and do that.

Goodrich: Cool. [Rolls dice] Oh boy, a ten plus nothing. Randy, high five!

[Ali laughs]

Kyle: Okay. So you’re looking around, and of course, having been trying to make a replicant of Usumptin, like you have-

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: -you are just drawn immediately to this forge setup and you’re looking at it. And it looks really dusty, like it hasn’t been touched in a looong time. You’re looking at the mold, and something tells you – your axe fits in it. You can just-

Goodrich: Uhh, can I just lay it in there and see?

Kyle: It lays in there perfectly.

Goodrich: Oh, like when you get like a new guitar case and you put your guitar in it?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: And it fits so well.

Kyle: Like a glove.

Goodrich: [satisfied] Ahh, I’m getting like goosebumps!

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: It’s such a good feeling! Any guitar players out there, you know what I’m talking about.

Kyle: Yeah, it is good.

Goodrich: Actually, anyone that plays any instrument. When you get that instrument in there just right and it goes “foop.”

Kyle: Snug. So good.

Goodrich: Yeah. Aww, you just know it’s protected. Yeah.

Kyle: So good. But yeah. [Goodrich giggles] So you notice that, and you notice there are some basic supplies for crafting and making weapons. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of mess or anything like that.

Goodrich: Are there any, like, musical anythings in there?

Kyle: No.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: There’s not. You do notice that there is a – it looks like a small – like small patch of dirt-

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: -where maybe a garden of some sort used to be, and there’s a small bioluminescence that comes from that. But other than that, there’s not really much in here. 

Goodrich: Can I roll nature? Boy, if they were rocks, I’m double proficient.

[Kyle and Goodrich laugh]

Kyle: Yeah, go ahead and roll nature.

Goodrich: Okay. [Rolls dice] Huh. Sixteen plus nothing.

Kyle: Sixteen plus nothing? Hey, sixteen’s pretty good.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: You can tell that this garden used to be well tended to. Looks like somebody really knew what they were doing as far as nature goes. If there wasn’t an overgrowth happening of just random weeds and stuff, there would be a very set, organized state to this garden.

Goodrich: Sick-looking garden?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay. Can I tell, like, how long it’s been since it’s been tended to?

Kyle: You would probably think well over a hundred years.

Goodrich: So these are like self-sustaining fellers down here?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay. Is there anything I get to take? Maybe I’d take some of those sweet plants.

Kyle: You wanna try to take some plants?

Goodrich: Uh-oh. [giggles]

Kyle: No, it’s – if you want to.

Goodrich: Okay. It sounded just like “oh yeah, you wanna try? Cool.” No, I – yes. I have a mess kit, so maybe I can, like, take the cup out of it, like, put some of the dirt in there, keep the plant alive.

 Kyle: Okay, yeah.

Goodrich: Uh, I don’t know. Is there anything else I can snag, or is there anything else I see, or is that pretty much it?

Kyle: Uh, nothing that you see right now, but if you turn and walk out the door-

Goodrich: I do that.

Kyle: -you see above the door, it’s written in Common, just regular Common. And it’s like carved in, and it looks very haphazard in comparison to the runes. And it says: “A prince will be given that will claim Usumptin.”

Goodrich: Uh-oh. Then do I hear, [sings softly] “Someday, my prince will come”?

[Players laugh]

Kyle: No, you do not. That’s super cute.

Goodrich: I whistle it on the way out, not noticing the – no, okay. Yeah, okay. Write that down. And I should have added JOAT to both my rolls; I guess you should have too, but oh well.

Spurrier: I did.

Goodrich: Oh, well. Yeah.

Spurrier: Mine’s baked into my modifiers.

Goodrich: Oh yeah, ‘cause my sheet’s all jacked.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Sorry. I need to apply my druidic focus to above the table too. [laughs]

Spurrier: Oh no.

Goodrich: Sorry. Okay. Cool.

Kyle: Are you good?

Goodrich: Well, alright. Sweet.

Kyle: So you all go in, explore your little trees. And you walk out and you all see each other.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Dude, mine says I’m gonna straight up go get Usumptin; I don’t know what’s going on.

Spurrier (as Randy): Didn’t you do that already?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, and now I’m kinda worried.

[Players laugh]

Ali (as Yashee): I found some maps!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah, cool.

Spurrier (as Randy): I found a lot of crap on the floor. It’s broken. It looks-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Did you break it?

Spurrier (as Randy): I mean, maybe. Time seems to be weird here.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, okay. Um, well, I also have this cool plant.

Goodrich: Is the plant still doing fine, out in the sunlight?

Kyle: Yeah. It looks like it’s actually perked up a little bit, and it’s kind of curving and wiggling around.

 Goodrich: I still have Speak With Plants going. Can I talk to it?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [giggles] Hey there, little guy.

Kyle (as plant): Oh, hello, serw.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What’s your name?

Kyle (as plant): Oh, I don’t know.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I’m gonna call you … Kyle.

Kyle (as plant): Okay. Kyyyyle.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Kyyyyle.

Kyle (as plant): Kyyyyle.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, Kyle. So this is my friend-

Kyle (as Kyle the plant): Mmm, sun! Sunny! Mmm.

Goodrich: Oh. Does it rub itself like that, too?

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Yeah, its leaves are like bending around and kind of rubbing itself.

Kyle (as Kyle the plant): Mmm, sun!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, you like that? Cool. Stick with me, pal. We’ll go places, alright?

Kyle (as Kyle the plant): Okay. Kyle. Whoopee, that’s me.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, Kyle. Chill out. [Players laugh.] Uh, yeah. So this is Kyle, everybody.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, hi.

Ali (as Yashee): Aww, that’s adorable!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Kyle: You see a little plant leaf wave.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Wow, Kyle’s awesome.

Spurrier (as Randy): Man, I gotta say: Animals, maybe not your thing, but plants!

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Now I’m frickin’ owning it over here. Alright, yeah. So – hey, uh, Branch?

Kyle (as Branch): Yes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. So that was some cool stuff we found in that room, also oddly specific to each one of us. Do you know anything about who used to be in here, the other people you were talking about earlier, maybe?

Kyle (as Branch): We are their … home, from their home.

Goodrich: And that’s Reedaba, Legato, and Theremin?

Kyle (as Branch): Yes.

Goodrich: That’s who was in there?

Kyle (as Branch): Mhm.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa. Okay. Well, that’s even creepier on my end. If you guys don’t know who your person is…

Ali (as Yashee): Never heard of ‘em.

Spurrier (as Randy): No, I have no idea.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Well, I’m truly kinda freaked out a little bit.

Spurrier (as Randy): Spooked?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, well.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, but you know, I’ll be alright. I got Kyle here.

[Players laugh]

Kyle (as Kyle the plant): Yo, what’s goin’ on?

Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier: Although, eventually, won’t you not hear Kyle anymore?

[Players moan in sympathy]

Goodrich: Oh no! That’s alright. It’s -

Spurrier: It’s another spell slot to burn to talk with Kyle.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, you just keep that waving up, I’ll know you’re doing alright. Okay?

Ali: Yeah, figure out some quick signals-

Kyle: The leaf is waving.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Ali: -for like “feed me water. Put me away.”

Goodrich: “Burp me. Change my diaper.”

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, okay. Well, thanks, Branch. Um, I guess we’re gonna go ahead and head on towards where we need to be going. Did you say you could help us out with thaaat?

Kyle: And as you ask that, you just hear the creaking of the trees [creaking tree sound effect in the background] as they all kind of turn and their limbs begin to point in a certain direction-

Goodrich: Oh.

Kyle: -which, if anybody knew any better, would be east-

Goodrich: Alright!

Kyle: -the direction you need to go!

Spurrier: Hurray!

Ali: Alright!

Kyle: But yeah. All of their branches kinda start leaning and swaying towards that direction, and you hear one of the Branches just say-

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle (as Branch): This way is where they went.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Hey, you know anything about, like, a fast-travel option to this place [players laugh] that can get us back here pretty quick?

 Kyle (as Branch): I know nothing fast.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I didn’t think so. That’s cool. We’ll just have to remember what we saw and notate it in our journals, so that Alola can also see it.

Ali (as Yashee): Hmm.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Or is that a bad idea?

Goodrich: Double wink to you guys.

[Snickers]

Spurrier: I don’t know what the double wink means.

Goodrich: Just I’m blinking, guys.

Kyle (as Branch): You can return anytime you like.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Alright. Well, it’s-

Kyle (as Branch): More often than they did would be preferable.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Ali (as Yashee): Aww.

Kyle (as Branch): Well, there’s one that frequents more often than the other two.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Is it Reedaba?

Kyle (as Branch): No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): Uh-oh. Is it Legato?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, you can’t talk to trees. That’s my thing!

Ali (as Yashee): Oh yeah. Um, hey. Ask if it’s Legato.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Is it Legato?

Kyle (as Branch): Hmm, yes.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh!

Ali (as Yashee): I kinda took-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): They said yes, by the way, so...

Ali (as Yashee): I kinda took all their maps.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): I’m hoping that’s okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, is Legato an orc lady?

Kyle (as Branch): No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): Is it an orc man?

Kyle (as Branch): Legato is…one of the Lyreions.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): We’ve heard that word.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Boy, we should really start studying that. Um, yup. I feel like that was something that Squid mentioned, and I was only half listening to that.

Ali (as Yashee): Hmm. I’m gonna-

Spurrier (as Randy): Or maybe the brain, or both?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I don’t know.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Ali: I’m gonna go back in and just leave a note [guys chuckle] that says, like-

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: “Cool place. Took your maps.”

Goodrich: “I’m Yashee.”

Ali: “I’m @Yashee. Hi. I’m at Strumlotts. You can find me there, or I have an Iraglass.”

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Okay. So you go and you leave this note inside. Alright.

Ali: Just gonna pin it up where all of the maps were, and make like an “oopsies” – [players laugh] – like a little drawing in the corner.

Goodrich: Little sad face.

Kyle: Do a little drawing of yourself in the corner, like “oh no!”

Ali: Yeah. My hands up, just like “sorry.”

Goodrich: Are there emojis in Beetzart, Kyle?    

Kyle: Uh, you could start them.

Goodrich: Well, here we go. Yashee’s gonna start a trend.

Ali: And there we go.

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: And I leave that, and I close the door.

Kyle: Okay. You close the door, and it melds back into the tree, and the grain kind of disappears and folds away.

Goodrich: Okay, before I close my door, I wanna go in and look at it again, to get, like, a mental picture of it. You know how that’s good for you to do? You know, review.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: You go in and you’re trying to, like – you’re really focusing on this image. And all of a sudden, you are just shook when you make the realization that, you know the place where you have your reoccurring dream, where you’re trying to craft Usumptin or something similar?

Goodrich: Uh-huh.

Kyle: This is that place.

Goodrich: Ohhh! [Ali chuckles] Oh man.

Spurrier: My, my.

Kyle: Like once you – yeah. Now that you’ve taken a moment to, like, I’m gonna internalize this place real quick, it clicks.

Goodrich: Oh, jeez. This is a lot. I’m having just quite the past couple of episodes here. [Spurrier giggles] Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, guys?

Spurrier (as Randy): Mm-hmm.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I like straight up dreamt of this place. Like-

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -I was in there-

Ali (as Yashee): Is it that nice? It’s like-

[Players laugh]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, actually-

Kyle: No Crits Carlton.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No Crits Carlton, but hey, you can make a sweet axe in there. Yeah, uh, actually, that wild night we had in Basom – like, with the dreaming, not with the partying and whatnot. [Kyle snickers] But, uh, yes.

Ali (as Yashee): The food was also pretty good.

Goodrich: Well, yeah, the parties were good. The ones that didn’t make the episode, that I cut out, you know.

Kyle: Yeah. [cackles]

Goodrich: All those parties we went to. Anyhoo.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, no, the dream that I normally have is kind of a recurring dream, and … I’m just forging axes and stuff, and it takes place in this tree, which is kinda freaky. So I am gonna take a moment to juuust chill.

Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): ‘Cause I – I – look, I have a lot to unpack with all this.

Goodrich: Can this just be like a short rest? Is that cool?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay. Then we can just chill with the trees, hear the nice music. I seriously just need to sit down though, for a second. There’s a lot happening.

Spurrier: And while you do that, I’m just gonna run back in and take all those plans.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: ‘Cause maybe there’s something useful I can look at them later, get a better sense of them. So-

Kyle: Okay. So you sit down and take a rest, Raz’ul. Randy, you run in and you start bringing out all the schematics and everything that are on the wall. And Yashee, you see Randy run back in and come out with just a handful of papers; you get a look at them, and they look pretty familiar.

[Goodrich gasps]

Ali: Hmm. Oh yeah, I have that one schematic.

Goodrich: [sighs in relief] Phew.

Ali: Finally that word! Well, I guess I’ll go and, uh, find that in my bag-

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: -and bring it over, and be like-

Ali (as Yashee): Hey look, I’ve got one of those too.

Spurrier (as Randy): What?

Ali (as Yashee): I’ve got – [giggles]-

Ali: Roll it out, open it up, and I’m like-

Ali (as Yashee): Check this out.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh.

Ali (as Yashee): This kinda looks like what you have.

Spurrier: But, okay. So I guess I investigate it.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: And what is it, Kyle?

Kyle: Uh, you two investigate it together. Go ahead and roll me investigation checks.

Spurrier: Jeez.

Goodrich: I’m just sleeping through all of this.

Kyle: Yeah, you’re just wiped.

[Dice roll]

Ali: Nineteen.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: Nice. I got a nineteen as well.

Goodrich: Wow.

Kyle: Okay. So you’re poring over these schematics together, and you’re looking for connective links between them. And it’s another sense – Randy, you get the sense that these are drafts of the same schematic that have been redone over time.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: So you lay the schematics that you pulled out of the room down on the ground in the order that you can best remember them. You grab Yashee’s, you put it into place where you remember that one missing, and there’s an overlap of note, that it seems that all of them were up there and somebody made one big note or something.

Spurrier: Oooh!

Kyle: And so it lies perfectly in line with that note.

Spurrier: Nice.

Kyle: And you – without a shadow of doubt in your mind, you believe that this is the missing schematic.

Spurrier: Mhm.

Kyle: The only thing that you can make sense of on this schematic – and Yashee, you kind of get this sense too, once you’re both poring over it – the only thing you recognize is the keyboard, which looks very similar to yours, Randy. And that manual that is there – or keyboard, you can use that term interchangeably-

Goodrich: Right, yeah.

Spurrier: Right, right.

Kyle: But the keyboard is the only thing you can make sense of in this odd-looking contraption.

Spurrier: It’s so future or different or magically weird-looking, like I-

Kyle: Yeah, it just looks so off.

Spurrier: I know there are keys, but everything else is…I don’t – I’ve never seen it.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Jeez.

Spurrier: Okay. Weird.

Kyle: Yeah. That’s like the only recognizable thing, as far as, like, anything goes.

Spurrier: Okay.

Goodrich: Could be a keyboard-powered spaceship.

Spurrier: Oh boy!

Goodrich: That’s what Squid had.

Spurrier: To the moon!

Kyle: The moons.

Spurrier: Oh, to the moons. Yes.

Kyle: Now that one of us has already been there. But you know.

Spurrier: I turn to Yashee.

Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, well, this kinda looks like it goes together.

Ali (as Yashee): Oh.

Spurrier (as Randy): Could I maybe hang onto this for right now? Looks like it – it’s got keys and stuff.

Ali (as Yashee): [noncommittal noise) Yeah. I mean, like, what are you gonna, like, give me for it? [Goodrich snickers] I mean, it’s quite a find.

Spurrier: Oh you know-

Ali (as Yashee): -I’m just kidding!

[Overlapping conversation and laughter]

Spurrier (as Randy): Thanks, Yashee.

Ali (as Yashee): I couldn’t make sense of it anyway, so I was kinda hoping somebody would take it off my hands.

Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah. Hopefully something cool will come of it, even though it’s super weird-looking. So…sweet.

Ali (as Yashee): Cool.

Spurrier: And I stash it away.

Kyle: Alright. Anything else you three wanna do here?

Ali: Um, well, if he’s-

Goodrich: I’m just sleeping.

Ali: He’s still hanging out, and maybe you’re trying to figure out your schematics or something. I’m gonna go around to the tree I was at and just kinda have a seat and take out that envelope. I don’t want them to see me looking at it, ‘cause I don’t know what it is yet, but-

Kyle: Okay. Roll me a sleight of hand. And I’m just gonna do it against your passive perceptions, ‘cause-

Goodrich: I’m asleep.

Kyle: Oh, you’re asleep. You’re just resting.

Goodrich: Yeah. Just – so – I mean, I’m -

Ali: He’s, what, all the way across at the last tree.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: Okay.

[Dice roll]

Ali: Alright. That’s a four.

Kyle: Okay. Well, you’re asleep.

Goodrich: Yup.

Kyle: So you don’t notice it. But Randy, you see Yashee walk over to the tree that she had walked in, sit down. It looks like she’s trying to sneak something out of a pocket – [Spurrier snickers] – and then like fumbles, and it like falls on the ground. And she has to scoop it up real quick, and she’s looking around like [imitating Yashee’s voice] “Did anybody see that?”

Spurrier: I just pretend like I don’t notice, since-

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: -since Yashee was so cool sharing. [Ali snickers] Sharing is caring, so...

Kyle: Yashee, you think nobody’s seen your kerfuffle.

Ali: Alright.

Ali (as Yashee): I’m so smooth. [Players chuckle] Let’s check this out.

Kyle: Okay. You’re feeling the package, and there’s a really, really familiar feel to what’s inside this package.

Ali (as Yashee): A spoon?

Kyle: Oh yeah.

Ali: Ohohoh!

Goodrich: Is it spoonular in shape?

Ali (as Yashee): Oh.

Kyle: It is a spoon.

Ali (as Yashee): So smooth. I can tell its – its stem is gonna be beautiful.

Goodrich: [talking over Ali] Oh my god, just take it out. [Laughs]

Ali: Tear it open like Christmas morning, you know.

Kyle: You tear open the package, and inside is - it  is a bright, shining color of metal. It is brighter than any metal you’ve seen. It’s a good size spoon, has a good concave to it, the handle is decorated and has, like, pearls inlaid into it.

Ali: Ooh.

Kyle: It’s a really nice-looking spoon.

Ali: [whispering] Yes.

Kyle: Uh, what do you wanna do with it?

Ali: Uh, I admire it for a while, kinda, you know, just gently hold it in my hands and...  

Kyle: Okay. You’re turning it over, and you see that your name is engraved in the back of it.

Ali (as Yashee): Oh. What the heck.

Ali: Um, do I have another spoon on me? I always have a couple spoons on me.

Kyle: Yeah, you always have another spoon on you.

Goodrich: Are you kidding me?

Ali: I’m just gonna take it out and, like, lightly clink it, just to, like, see if anything happens. And what do I hear?

Kyle: It rings [metallic sound] really purely.

Goodrich: I wake up.

Kyle: It wakes up Raz’ul. And Raz’ul, you recognize the ring of this type of metal.

Goodrich: [whispering] Oh my gosh.

 Spurrier: Oh no.

Kyle: You’ve heard this ring before, and you know it’s the ring of a metal called adamantine.

Goodrich: Oh, jeez. For a second I thought you were gonna say freakin’ harmonium. Here we go.

Ali: Haha.

Kyle: No, no, no.

Goodrich: No, yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey. Whatta you got over there?

Ali: And I’m like – [Goodrich giggles] – put my entire body on it, I’m kinda laying like-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No, no, I definitely heard-

Ali: -real cool on the ground. Like-

Ali (as Yashee): Nothing’s going on over here. What are you talking about?

[Players snicker]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee-

Ali (as Yashee): Uh-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I heard adamantine. I haven’t heard that in sooo long!

Ali: Side note: do I know what kind of metal that is, or is this-

Kyle: Roll me just a wisdom check.

Goodrich: Can I just tell her what it is, real quick?

Kyle: Yeah, if you want to.

Goodrich: Okay. [dice roll; Goodrich grunts noncommittally] She’s rolling.

Ali: That’s eighteen.

Goodrich: Ohhh!

Kyle: Oh, eighteen? Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You know what I’m talking about.

Ali: Nineteen with my JOAT.

Goodrich Right!

Kyle: There was a – one time when you were traveling with your family, you recall a traveling salesman that was trying to sell some adamantine armor, and you just remember it being ungodly expensive. It is a very expensive metal, and it cost way too much. Your parents laughed this salesperson off the path, just like – [Goodrich giggles] – “We can’t afford that! Are you kidding me?”

Ali: Okay.

Kyle: So yeah, you recognize the name, and that it is a very, very precious metal.

  Ali: Alright. So what were you saying?

Goodrich: Bro! [Players laugh] No.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, hey! That’s gotta be adamantine. I mean, all that smithing class – I mean, [sputters]-

Ali (as Yashee): Oh.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): When we worked on adamantine, we all freaked out, ‘cause dang, that stuff is – I mean, not only is it super rare, but it’s really hard to work with. Sooo…

 Ali: Oh, huh.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Can I see it real quick? I promise I’ll give it back.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, I mean, it’s was just this cool, uh, like, utensil I found in the little tree there. [Someone giggles] I guess, you know, they had some food in there at some point.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): This is– this is just a spoon.

Ali (as Yashee): Who knew that they would eat with such a nice piece of metal. Yeah, you can check it out. I’ve got nothing to hide here.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Yup. Checks out.

Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Adamantine, yeah.

Kyle: Super heavy, feels like adamantine.

Goodrich: I balance it on my hand.

Kyle: It balances so well.

Spurrier: Has – has her name carved in it.

Goodrich: Oh yeah. [Ali laughs] How did you know that?

Kyle: You’re inspect-

[Spurrier: Well, just-

Goodrich: I definitely turn-

Kyle: Eagle eye, yeah. [Overlapping conversation] You turn it over, and you see Yashee’s name carved in it. And it’s not even Yashe’rak, it says Yashee.

 Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. Hey.

Ali (as Yashee): Hey.

[They both laugh]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul):  Your name is carved in this.

Ali (as Yashee): I know, isn’t that weird?

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] Yeah. Hey Randy, come here real quick.

Spurrier (as Randy): Hi.

Goodrich: Let’s do this. [Everyone laughs] Three, four!

Goodrich and Ali: [singing] He can’t read anything. Illiterate, but he won’t quit. He’ll be a reading Randy.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So Randy? Y-A-S-H-E-E spells Yashee.

Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): And it’s on this spoon for some reason.

Spurrier (as Randy): Oh. Well let me look at it real quick and write it down. Ya-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [giggles) Suh – sh-

Spurrier (as Randy): Yasashee. Yashee. Okay. Yashee berry. Berry Yashee.

Ali (as Yashee): Make sure you draw a picture of me and not of a spoon, just-

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] Right.

Spurrier (as Randy): I’ll draw-

Kyle: Association. This is a Yashee.

[Everyone laughs]

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So yeah. Okay. That’s weird. Um-

Spurrier (as Randy): Well, thanks. Two down, ten thousand to go.

Goodrich: We’re just burning through all sorts of story stuff, Kyle. Thanks for keeping up.

Kyle: Hey, I’m just doing what I can when you do things that I can’t anticipate.

Goodrich: Yeah.

[Goodrich and Kyle both chuckle]

Kyle: But I think … I think-

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: -we should probably wrap it up there.

Goodrich: Yes. Oh jeez.

Kyle: And you know where you’re gonna be going next time. The trees pointed the way. You’re taking your rest, so you’ll get some shapeshifting back for your short rest.

Goodrich: And some more third-level spell slots, maybe. [Spurrier groans]

Kyle: And good job circum – no, none of those. Good job circumventing the whole “unable to rest because of the whole Discordant Fields”-

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: -by playing a song that kind of weeded out the discord.

Ali: Woohoo.

Goodrich: Yay. Can we take a long rest then, Kyle?

Kyle: No, you don’t have time for that.

Goodrich: Okay. That’s fair.

Spurrier: Gotta save the Phunk.

[Goodrich giggles]

Kyle: I mean, you can if you want to.

Goodrich: Naaah, we got Phunk to save.

Spurrier: Yeah.

Kyle: Yep. Alright. Well, listeners, thanks for joining us. Hope you enjoyed this episode. See you next time.

[Theme music fades in]

Goodrich and Ali: Bye!