Ep. 9 - To Basom

[Rythmic drum beat plays while someone beat boxes]

Kyle [Whispering]: Bom bom BomBARDed, bom bom BomBARDed, welcome back to BomBARDed.

[Theme song plays]

Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to BomBARDed! We’re excited to get back into this so let’s recap last time real quick. Errrhm…So, last time-

Goodrich: Last time-

Kyle: Was a pretty big battle between one of the Nowhere Man and our bards. You guys happened to encounter this person as they were holding up your carriage, and upon seeing Randy as part of the party the Nowhere Man got really excited and revealed her identity a little bit because Randy, you knew her, and a battle ensued. Which eventually resulted in the necessity for your ensemble magic to be used; your instruments beckoned to you once more.

Goodrich: Cause we were getting straight up pawned.

Kyle: You were getting clobbered! And-

Spurrier: Yeah, it was rough.

Kyle: So yeah, you guys were like you know getting worked over pretty good and eventually it came to a point where Symbol cued Randy into the fact that the instruments were a-glowing and ready for some showin’. You three got into your song and were able to confine- dimmer down a little bit, almost seemed like she was incapacitated; and as Symbol was giving you some tips about what you could improve what you did, that’s when we had our moment where Randy kind of checked out and was taken over by Eddie to go over and end the life of Rhiannon. Luckily though Rhiannon was able to shake off whatever spell you cast with your music; and able to get her hand between the blade and her neck and only lost two fingers but, was able to push back Randy and make an escape through a blinding light.

Ali: Her’s name’s uhhh Rhi-not here anymore.

Players & Kyle: Ooooh!

Kyle: After that, you guys had questioned Randy about it and he was kind of closed up and everything, and just- eventually was like, “I just need to go to sleep.” And headed back to the carriage and put himself in like a nice little lull. Raz’ul and Yashee you had a conversation with Symbol about this and Symbol just, you know, kind of tried to assuage your concerns as much as he could and was like, you know, let’s get back in the carriage; let’s get back on the road, we’ll talk about this more in the morning. So-

Goodrich: So, are we sleeping now then?

Kyle: Yeah-

Goodrich: Okay-

Kyle: So, we’re basically starting off with everybody asleep and uh-

Spurrier: Randy's got his Joby so he cuddles up with that. [Goodrich laughing] It makes him feel better cause Randy’s still kind of shocked.

Ali: Do we see him cuddling with his teddy?

Goodrich: [Laughing] Roll perception check!

Kyle: Randy, despite your efforts to induce magical sleep, you still find it hard to get some shut eye. The echo of Eddie’s laugh is still resonating in your head. [Soft echoing laughter plays as Kyle speaks] And it’s kind of troubling you as you go in and out of sleep but, there’s one point you wake up- you wake up to see Symbol and he’s actually up; he has your organ. All the lights and displays are up, it’s glowing and he’s just like, messing around with it. He has a cute smile on his face-

Goodrich: Aw.

Kyle: [Rolls dice] And he looks up as you and goes-

Kyle(as Symbol): Oh, Randy I apologize. Go back to sleep, I know this probably comforts you. That’s a nice piece of equipment you have there, I don’t think you could get better.

Spurrier(as Randy): Uh..thanks, Splash?

Kyle(as Symbol): No problem, get some sleep Randy.

Spurrier(as Randy): Oh- okay.

Spurrier: And then I cuddle up to Joby.

Goodrich: Back to that perception roll! [Rolls dice]

Kyle: Roll at disadvantage, you’re asleep.

Goodrich: So, I got an eight plus-

Spurrier: No, you gotta roll a disadvantage.

Spurrier & Kyle: You gotta roll it again.

Goodrich: Right, right [rolls dice]

Spurrier: Oh ha, ha Joby!

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Is that what you whisper to Joby?

Spurrier: Ha, ha Joby!

Ali: I got a nineteen the first time and a ten plus one the second time.

Goodrich: And I got a three plus three, six.

Kyle: Okay, you two aren’t woken up by this interaction. It’s very minimal, not too loud-

Goodrich: By the soft rustle of Randy.

Spurrier: Stroking my- my-

Goodrich: Teddy bear-

Spurrier: My Joby.

[Players chuckle]

Spurrier: Oh dear.

Kyle: Uh, okay! You all manage to sleep through the night and the next morning you’re woken up by Symbol. He’s shaking you and he’s saying-

Kyle(as Symbol): Hey! Hey, wake up! I think we’re here?

Kyle: And you wake up and you notice that the carts not moving. You can see sun filtering through the blinds in the- curtains in the carriage. Symbol’s just like-

Kyle(as Symbol): I’m guessing we’re here? I’m not sure why Mitch wouldn’t have woken us up but uh, [chuckles] he might have fallen asleep driving us here through the night. So-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Should he be driving your carriage, man? Aren’t you like, famous?

Kyle(as Symbol): Oh, Mitch is the best!

Goodrich: Oh!

Kyle(as Symbol): You know, despite what happened last night Mitch is a good man.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay, alright.

Kyle(as Symbol): He’s been with me for a while so- but yeah, I will say it is a little odd but, I will say this- the people in Basom they’re not too keen on outsiders so..when we get out there try to be nice. You know, it’s been a long time since I've been here so it may have changed but- [Mumbling] Ten, twenty.. [Normal] It’s been a few decades.

Goodrich: Oh!

Kyle(as Symbol): Yeah-

All Players(As their characters): How old are you!?

[Players laugh]

Kyle(as Symbol): [Quickly] That’s not important, don’t worry about it.

Goodrich: Uh, can I roll a persuasion check?

Kyle: Sure, go for it.

Goodrich: I really wanna know! [Rolls dice] Oh..

Ali: Can I roll a history check, also?

Kyle: Yeah, yeah yeah if you want to roll a history check go for it.

Ali: Cause maybe I-

Kyle: Maybe you came across it in your-

Ali: Maybe I know something about you-

Goodrich: See what you found on Beetzart-apedia.

Ali: I have a seventeen.

Goodrich: I got a nine plus three.

Kyle: Nine plus three-

Goodrich: Err- twelve, sorry.

Kyle: You guys are like, so how old are you? And you kind of nudge him just to encourage him, and-

Goodrich: I give him that winning Raz’ul smile!

Kyle: Yeah, and he just kind of looks at you and he just like, grins and he’s like-

Kyle(as Symbol): Old enough, man.

Kyle: And then, Yashee, you remember you were looking up- while the guys were down at the dance club or something thing in the basement. You decided to take some time to go to the library to look up a little bit on Symbol. And in that time, you found like a small blurb about him, and the only thing it- says age and date of birth and it’s just marked as unknown.

Ali: Okay.

Goodrich: Our little Hermione over there.

Ali: So, I’ll say to Raz’ul-

Ali(as Yashee): It’s not worth your time man, he’s not gonna tell you.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright.

Spurrier: And Randy’s still sleeping, [someone chuckles] you haven’t woken me up yet.

Goodrich: Let’s not wake him up.

Kyle: [unsure]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I think it might be safer if he stays asleep!

Spurrier: Randy has a jerk and whacks Symbol in the face with Joby.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): This is exactly what I’m talking about! C’mon, man!

Kyle: And he’s just like, [mutters in surprise] and he like backs up against the other side of the cart and he’s like poking you- [Players laugh]

Kyle(as Symbol): Randy, get up!

Spurrier(as Randy): [Shouts in alarm]

Kyle(as Symbol): Come on, we gotta get out there.

Spurrier(as Randy): Alright, fine.

Spurrier: Randy’s up.

Kyle(as Symbol): Again, it’s been awhile since I've been here but try to be nice to them, you know?

Kyle: And as he finishes up what he’s saying he goes to reach for the carriage door and starts to open it-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Whoa! Wait, hang on!

Goodrich: Can Raz’ul go to like slam the door shut as he’s- do I need to roll for it or-

Kyle: Nah, you just grab it and pull it closed real quick.

Goodrich: Okay, I pull it closed and I’m like, alright. I look over to Randy and I’m like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Listen, before we get out there can you tell us anything about what’s going on, man? Cause like, look- we're doing some crazy stuff, I mean you remember the Ettercap? What’s going on with Tabitha? There’s lots of wacky, wacky stuff going on in this world. I mean, I would personally feel a little bit better if you could maybe shed some light on the situation, maybe a little? Cause-

Ali(as Yashee): Clue us in, man.

Spurrier: Okay so Randy's had a chance during the night to get his thoughts collected- well it’s still kind of hazy right? I do know the bulk of what’s happened.

Kyle: You know the bulk of it, you just kind fuzzed out right at the moment-

Spurrier: Right at the actual moment. Okay, so I turn to both of you guys and I say-

Spurrier(as Randy): Well-

Goodrich: [Singing loudly] Say something I’m giving up on you! Randy!

[Players laugh]

Spurrier: I mean, okay I guess.

Ali: You got to now.

Spurrier: So, yeah um. So, I turn around and say to you guys-

Spurrier(as Randy): Well, if it’ll make things better for now..it’s Eddie, that’s who did this.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh.

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s not me, and I shouldn’t say more than that because I don’t think it would be wise at this point. Uh, but it was not me doing this it was Eddie.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uh-

Ali(as Yashee): [Shocked] Our sweet little belly boy!?

Spurrier: Our sweet little belly boy!

Goodrich: Say it isn’t so! Not Eddie!

Spurrier: Better than our sweet little Randy boy.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Ali: That’s true.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I mean, can you control him or-

Spurrier(as Randy): I don’t know but what I’ll say is I don’t think any of you guys have anything to be worried about from him.

Ali(as Yashee): As long as we stay on his good side it sounds like.

Spurrier(as Randy): Well, Yeah-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I mean, yeah.

Spurrier(as Randy): I would say so but again, not that you guys really interacted with him at all so I don’t think there’s anything to be worried about-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Not interacting with him at all except for, you know, [sing-song voice] what just happened.

Spurrier(as Randy): Well, yeah-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [continued song-song voice] And all the other times. I mean, I don’t know man, like- Prof?

Kyle(as Symbol): Oh.

Kyle: You look over and Symbol has taken out a notebook and he’s just writing stuff down and watching the conversation and he stops and he’s just like-

Goodrich: Is he eating?

Kyle(as Symbol): Well, um honestly if- Randy, if you say this is Eddie then of course, Yashee, Ra’zul, it could be quote unquote “Eddie” doing all this stuff. But I'm not here to take sides, I’d like to see you work through this and uh, find a way to overcome this and you know, make it a part of your team dynamic. I understand that there are concerns and I’m concerned myself. You know, the unknown is always [chuckles] very concerning so, I say if you’re comfortable moving forward we should; and if you have any more insight into how Eddie may interject, I think it may behoove you to be up front with your bardmates.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yes! Absolutely! But uh, given the dangerous person that we let escape, not that I wanted to kill her but she did get away. I think it’s best if we leave it at that for right now and know that it just wasn’t me who was wielding that blade, at least not at my own control.

Ali(as Yashee): That’s true, I can understand that; I can be okay with that.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I mean, I guess...yeah, I mean.. let’s go and get what we need to do done but, any more info you might have would be-

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah, we don’t want it to be weird or anything.

Spurrier(as Randy): Well I’ll just say we’ve got a task at hand and I’ll let you know if he shows up again. Tries to.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Try to just, control him yourself?

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s generally worked so far so..

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I don’t know anything about not being able to control yourself but uh..

Kyle(as Symbol): What do you mean, Raz’ul?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Surprised] Ooh! Nothing!

[All laugh]

Kyle: Okay um-

Goodrich: [Fearfully] Don’t make me roll, Kyle! Don’t make me roll, Kyle!

Kyle: Okay, roll a deception check!

Goodrich: Oh no!

Kyle: You- you went for it.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice] So nine plus three, twelve.

Kyle: Okay so he’s just like-

Kyle(as Symbol): I don’t know what you’re alluding to-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): No, I'm just saying! Control yourself, take what you need from it, values that we all should cherish.

Kyle(as Symbol): Regardless, agreed. If any kind, you know, measure of control can be administered um, in those moments-

Goodrich: And Raz’ul busts out his like, secret stash of stress-away potpourri [sniffs loudly]

Kyle: Just rubbing it in his hands and going- [sniffs loudly]

Goodrich: Rubbing it in his hands-

Kyle: I’m good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good!

Goodrich: Put some under my arm pits a little bit.

Ali(as Yashee): What have you got over there Raz’ul?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): You want some? It’s stress-away potpourri.

Ali(as Yashee): Sure!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): We could all probably use a little bit.

Ali(as Yashee): Ooh!

Kyle(as Symbol): Absolutely, a little freshening up before we step out.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): It’s got a little bit of cedar wood bark, lime peels, obviously some lavender, some ocotea -

Kyle: Ocotea doesn’t exist in my world though.

Ali: [Giggling] Oh no.

Goodrich: But- but I have it, where’d I get it Kyle?

Kyle: Well that’s the real mystery isn’t it? [Goodrich laughs] Nah, I’m messing with you!

Goodrich: Okay!

Ali: Thus, begins the real story!

[Players laughing]

Goodrich: Right? Yeah!

Ali: BomBARDed unfolds.

Kyle: Unfolds-

Goodrich: Where’s the secret ocotea?

Kyle: No, continue on with your herbal remedies.

Goodrich: No, no that was it so..

Kyle: So yeah, you all get a whiff. You kind of come down from this conversation, Raz’ul passes around the bowl of stress-away and everything. And you all get a nice deep breath of it and everything kind of cools out and- [someone sniffs loudly] you know, and relaxed and what not from this nice fresh packed bowl of stress-away.

Ali: Potpourri.

Kyle: Yeah, stress away potpourri.

Goodrich: And I’m still- I'm still feeling a little eh about everything but, the potpourri is definitely helping.

Kyle: That’s okay to feel like that.

Goodrich: [Chuckles] I can have feelings?

Kyle: Yeah! Symbol says-

Kyle(as Symbol): Well if everybody’s feeling it, let’s go ahead and step on out there.

Kyle: So, he kind of pushes you out of the cart-

Kyle(as Symbol): Just give me a moment.

Kyle: He closes it, and you hear like rattling going on and everything like that-

Goodrich: The cart comically shakes and-

Kyle: Yeah! Shakes and everything. Symbol steps out and he looks completely different. It kind of reminds you when Yashee disguised herself as one of those construction workers. He’s got like a long duster on and he reaches in and grabs out a notepad from it. He’s kind of got like a fake nose applied on and some glasses, some big thick thorn rimmed glasses and is like-

Kyle(as Symbol): [With more of a New York, Boston accent] Alright, let’s get the news!

Spurrier(as Randy): Extra, extra! Splash is looking good!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: And Symbol says-

Kyle(as Symbol): Be sure to call me Luey Hewis, littlest guy.

Spurrier(as Randy): Oh, well!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright.

Kyle: When you stepped out from the carriage you’re hit by a hot, dry air. You look around and you notice these large buildings that are around you and these structures look severely like, weathered. Some of them almost looking uninhabitable and, most of the foundations are kind of off kilter so it’s like they’re at an angle in some places. Some of them look okay, some of them are at an angle but despite all this, everywhere there are lush green potted plants, small gardens with copious amounts of flowers; ranging in color of blue, red, yellow, purple. All of this foliage in the area is very vibrant and well-tended to. The doorways have fine rugs covering them that, you know, you can part and walk through. Windows are lined with trinkets and ornate glassworks decorating the exterior. That's what you catch from just your normal perception, go ahead and give me another perception check real quick. [Sound of multiple dice rolling]

Goodrich: And I wanted to ask Kyle, are we in the white zone? Since the white zone is for loading and unloading only.

Kyle: Yeah, the sand beneath you is really really white!

Goodrich: Do we hear a voice on an intercom say, the white zone is for loading and unloading only! [Someone laughs] If you’re gonna [chuckles] load or unload-

Kyle: No, you don’t hear any of that.

Goodrich: [Chuckles] Fiine!

Ali: I got a fifteen plus one, sixteen.

Kyle: ‘kay

Goodrich: I got an eight plus three, eleven.

Kyle: Alright.

Spurrier: Sixteen plus three, nineteen.

Kyle: Okay, Raz’ul you’re a little enamored with Symbol’s, you know new get up, and you’re like, “oh sweet duds!” Kind of got your attention.

Goodrich: Maybe I’m a little anxious like..we gotta get out of this loading zone, guys! Come on, let’s hurry things up! [laughs]

Kyle: So, uh- [Player’s start giggling softly]

Ali: [Laughing] Move on!

Kyle: Randy and Yashee, as you’re standing around surveying the area you notice in the distance- you notice a couple of like, jackals playing with each other. They're like tossing and tumbling around for a moment before they stop and they look at you, and they just skitter off behind these buildings. As you’re taking all this in you two, Randy and Yashee, noticing those jackals- Raz’ul you’re standing with Symbol and talking with him, and you notice like people start to filter out from around the corners of the buildings that are nearby.

They walk out and are wearing these robes and uh, they looked like they were nice but they’re kind of tattered now. The people are really gaunt and skinny, they look a little malnourished. There is one that stands out, he looks a little bit distinguished from the others. You notice there’s something on his neck but you can’t quite make it out because it’s a little bit covered up by his hair; but he breaks from the group and approaches you and says uh.

Goodrich: [Nasally] We represent the- [Players laugh, Goodrich sings while laughing] We represent the Lollipop Guild!

Kyle: Oh, you got-[laughing] they’re not short, they’re not like Randy size.

Goodrich: Right, yeah yeah I gotcha.

Spurrier: Oh no!

Kyle: But he steps out and he just says.

Kyle(as Robed Man): [In a softer and more calming tone] Welcome Travelers.

Kyle: And then you hear everybody behind him say-

Kyle(as The Crowd): [Multiple voices played over each other at once, echoing] Welcome.

Spurrier: Ugh..

Goodrich: Ooh!

Kyle: Like, everybody says that all at once um, the guy saying.

Kyle(as Robed Man): We’re so glad you’re finally here, we’ve been waiting for you.

Goodrich: [Surprised] Oh! Hmm..

Ali(as Yashee): [Surprised] For all of us?

Kyle(as Robed Man): Mhm, yes! Absolutely!

Ali(as Yashee): [Whispering] Symbol, who are these guys?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Whispering] Luey, Yashee, Luey.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh! [Clears throat]

Kyle(as Robed Man): We’ve been waiting for you cause we’ve been waiting for bards. We need a town song and if you provide us a town song, we will take you to what you were looking for.

Goodrich: Oh!

Spurrier: Oh!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Seems easy enough.

Spurrier(as Randy): Nice, okay.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Why do you need a town song? Uh, not many towns have songs.

Kyle: Uh, and he kind of looks around at his people for a moment and he’s like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Well we kind of experienced a lapse in moral and something about our town would make us feel better?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh..see..okay.

Ali(as Yashee): Any specifics? Cause we just got here.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): What cheers you guys up I think is what-

Ali(as Yashee): In general- yeah, stuff that makes you happy.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): What cheers you up, man?

Ali(as Yashee): Anything in particular you’d want in there?

Kyle(as Robed Man): One second!

Kyle: And he goes back to like a small group and they do a quick huddle for a moment.

Goodrich: Yeah, naturally.

Kyle: And they come back and he just says.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Um, if you dote about our town like talk about how great our gardens are and, how nice we are to people and ,how we’re welcoming and inviting and..we’re- we’re gonna be good to you and, you know we just want a better image for our town.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay!

Kyle(as Robed Man): You look like you know your way around some musical instruments so we figured we could give you what you want, or what you’re here for-

Spurrier(as Randy): Which is..?

Kyle(as Robed Man): It-it's the stone right?

Spurrier(as Randy): I’m just making sure we’re on the same page, yeah.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Yeah, it’s- we have a stone.

Ali(as Yashee): How do we know you have it?

Kyle(as Robed Man): Oh I have it!

Spurrier(as Randy): Can we see it?

Kyle(as Robed Man): It’s in our temple, um we had it there.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Why don’t you make with the stone and then we’ll make with the song? Would that be fair?

Kyle: Uh-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Look here, we’re musicians right?

Kyle(as Robed Man): Yes.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): So, we gots to get paid every once in a while. As you might know musicians don’t make a whole lot. I don’t know about you guys but we’ve gotta make some gish while we’re out here too and-

Ali(as Yashee): I mean, growing up there were many times where we would agree to something and after performing have nothing to show for it so I'm a little skeptical honestly guys.

Spurrier: I’m gonna roll a persuasion-

Kyle: Okay-

Spurrier: To get this dude to show us-

Kyle: Go for it-

Spurrier: The stone. That is an eighteen plus six, twenty-four.

Kyle: Eighteen plus six? He’s like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): [Sighs] Okay.

Kyle: He turns around and goes.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Go let Jairah know we have guests, they’re here for the stone. Hurry, quick quick! And come back and let me know when we can go.

Kyle: So, one of the people like runs off super quick and uh-

Goodrich: Nyoom!

Kyle: And he’s just like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): I-I promise you’ll- you’ll get the stone! You can have it.

Spurrier(as Randy): We’ve had quite a day or two. We wouldn’t mind just a scrap of proof.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Okay!

Spurrier(as Randy): For tuning up.

Kyle(as Robed Man): I mean, if you’ve had a few days are you hungry or thirsty?

Ali(as Yashee): Oh yeah!

Kyle(as Robed Man): Bring up one of the jugs! Brings up one of the jugs!

Kyle: And two people bring up this big jug just full of water, and they have these cups and they get the water out of it and are like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Here, if you’re thirsty we have water. Are you hungry? We want you to feel comfortable!

[Players all happily agree and thank him]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): It’s like our own little makeshift green room.

Spurrier: I lean over to Symbol like.

Spurrier(as Randy): These are the same people, right?

Kyle(as Symbol): I mean, I guess it’s been a couple decades since I've been here. They weren’t this nice when I came through last time. I mean, this looks familiar. I don’t know where Mitch is but-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright, alright settle down.

Kyle(as Symbol): Alright, well-

Kyle: And at this time as you’re talking with Symbol, the guy that was sent off comes back. He's got this cart with like a couple of stones in it. He's lifting them up and he’s like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): See? It’s broken up but we have them! We have the stones!

Ali: Can we do an investigation?

Kyle(as Robed Man): If you want to take them you’ll have to meet Jairah but-

Ali(as Yashee): Mind if we get a closer look?

Kyle(as Robed Man): By all means, here!

Spurrier: [Singing] Investigate. [Dice rolls] Nice plus one, ten.

Ali: One plus zero for Yashee.

Goodrich: A two, plus zero [laughs].

Kyle: Okay, from what you can tell these..are stones. I mean you don’t have experience with meteorites so you can’t- you don’t have anything to gauge off of. So as far as you know-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Look man, these are just stones! Like, can we just not see? Look, so as a bard you gotta have a muse, right? You gotta have something to inspire you to write your song. I feel like we’ve seen the city, we’ve seen you guys, and it’s been a pretty solid thing so far but you know if we could just see that meteor that would be just the topper to really get your town song kicked up a notch, right?

Kyle(as Robed Man): Of course, I just wanted to give you pieces of it so you knew we had it, the bigger portion is back-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): See-

Kyle(as Robed Man): at our temple, I can’t carry that it’s too heavy.

Spurrier(as Randy): So these came from the sky, right?

Kyle(as Robed Man): Yes.

Spurrier: Okay, let’s do a quick little insight.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] Seventeen plus three, twenty.

Kyle: You think he’s telling the truth-

Spurrier: Cool!

Spurrier(as Randy): Guys, he seems pretty sweet. We should make him a sweet song.

Ali(as Yashee): I’m down.

Kyle: Everyone starts to like- [clapping] “Yeah, yeah! Write us a song!”

Spurrier: He’s like, “Yeah, woo!” Wait, does the crowd kind of respond-

Kyle: Yeah, a little bit.

Spurrier: Okay-

Kyle: They’re all kind of like, excited and whenever you’re like, “oh yeah let’s write a song.” everyone's’ like, “yeah write a song then we can take you to the bigger meteorite and you can check it out.”

Spurrier: Randy gets a little distracted and starts getting people riled up and dancin’ and moving and groovin’.

Kyle: Okay, you’re gonna hype it up?

Goodrich: [Laughing] Richard Simmons over here.

Spurrier: Yeah!

Kyle(as Robed Man): Yeah, anything nice you have to say about our town would be greatly appreciated, and you can get a front row seat to our meteorite!

 Ali(as Yashee): There’s the money word.

Goodrich: Front row seat [chuckles] Yeah alright, let’s give them what they want.

Spurrier: Let’s make a flower song.

Ali: Sure!

[Electronic music plays]

Spurrier: Fire in the hole!

Goodrich: [Quickly] Three, two, one-

[Players yell as multiple dice are heard hitting a surface]

Spurrier: Wow!

Goodrich: Okay, D Minor, E minor, G and, B diminished.

Spurrier: And C.

Goodrich: And C, yeah.

[Players excitedly talking over each other]

Ali: Drum time!

Kyle: Let’s getting rolling, ya’ll.

Ali: Wait for Yashee!

Goodrich: Okay, okay!

Ali: Alright, alright-

Goodrich: Tails again-

Ali: Okay, tails. Pattern’s gonna be, [rolls dice] sixty-four okay that’s gonna be samba two!

[Goodrich and Spurrier happily approve]

Ali: Alright, Samba two followed by the drum kit which is..fifty-three, Reggaton three!

Goodrich: Oh, yeah!

Kyle: That seems appopriate.

Goodrich: Let’s do it!

Spurrier: Fun little plant song.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Hey everyone, it’s your dungeon maestro Kyle here just wanted to give you another thank you for listening, we super appreciate it. If you’re not currently following us on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook get on any of those platforms and type in bomBARDedcast, we should pop right up. So, if you want to share this episode or share the podcast in general, use the hashtag #bardcast, and if you’re listening through Apple Podcast please go in and rate, review and subscribe, and you know we can’t express how much we appreciate stuff like that.

If you want to hear more of Lindby go ahead and head over to lindbymusic.com, lindby is spelled L-I-N-D-B-Y. You can also search for lindby music on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook if you want to catch us there. Uh, other than that I ain’t got anything else for you! So, let’s hear what they have to sing about this town and get back into the podcast, thank you again! Catch you next time.

[Music transitions]

Ali: I’m gonna take the glass that my water was in and just kinda start tapping like a cute little beat on it. I say uh.

Ali(as Yashee): [While playing samba melody at a higher pitch] Hey guys, see if you can put something to this!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright, just don’t break it Yashee.

[Guitar joins in, along with piano shortly after]

All(singing): Ba-som they say, oh-oh-oh. A pretty little town with gardens all around, it’s Ba-som they say, oh-oh-oh. Everybody’s nice so don’t think twice about Ba-som oh, Ba-a-asom.

Goodrich(singing): But what’s it all about? When you think that you know someone but now you doubt? And everybody’s saying Raz’ul just chill out. Man, I thought we were good but you don’t know anything, so I guess that they’ll just sing...

All(singing): Ba-som they say, oh-oh-oh. Warm and inviting, always exciting, Ba-som they say oh-oh-oh. Everybody’s fine, they party all the time in Ba-som oh, Ba-a-asom.

Goodrich(singing): But who am I? I just play my guitar but is it all a lie? And everybody’s saying Raz’ul will get by. But how will they feel if it’s my turn to die?

[Music pauses]

Ali(as Yashee): Whoa, whoa Raz’ul it’s alright, man.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Huh?

Spurrier(as Randy): We’re not gonna die, we’re just here to sing a song about a lovely town.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh.

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah, help us out.

Goodrich: Alright [Strums guitar]

Ali: two, three, four-

[Music picks back up]

All(singing): Ba-som, oh Ba-a-asom it’s nice here in Ba-som, oh Ba-a-asom. It’s nice here in Ba-som, oh Ba-a-asom. It’s nice here in Ba-som, oh Ba-a-asom. It’s nice her in Ba-som, oh Ba-a-asom.

[Music ends]

Kyle: Alright so you wrap up your song and everybody in the crowd is just really enamored and they’re all looking at each other really excited and they’re all like, “Basom! Ba-” And they’re trying to sing the song along with you like, at the end where you were just kind of repeating the same line. And they’re all like clapping and cheering, everyone’s super happy and the guy you were talking to is- just comes up and he’s like.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Oh, that was perfect! Yeah, follow me this way and we’ll take you right to the meteorite! It’s exactly what you wanted right?

Goodrich: Do they say anything about my little crisis bits or-

Kyle: No, they kind of just blow past it except for the better parts and they’re just like, “Yeah that was good!”

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay I- I feel better! Yeah!

Kyle(as Robed Man): You really painted us in a good light!

Ali(as Yashee): We’ll take it!

Kyle(as Robed Man): I can take you to that stone and Jairah can tell you all about it!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, let’s go!

Kyle(as Robed Man): Okay cool, yeah follow me!

Kyle: And he starts to walk off in the deeper parts of the town, as you follow him give me a perception roll as you’re walking through.

[Multiple dice rolling]

Spurrier: Natural twent! [Sound board play an angelic chorus of “Oh yeah!”]

[All laugh]

Kyle: That’s awesome.

Goodrich: Yeah it is.

Spurrier: Plus, three.

Goodrich: Hurray! I got a six plus three.

Ali: I got a four plus one!

Kyle: Okay, Yashee and Raz’ul you notice as you’re walking through- you just see more of the townsfolk, more of these gaunt people in nicer stuff; you kind of see the same stuff you’ve seen so far. Randy, on the other hand you- as you’re walking through; one thing kind of sticks out to you. Every once in a while you see like broken down caravan wagons like here and there, kind of in odd places. That just comes off to you as an oddity.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: So-

Goodrich: Quick, Raz’ul does feel better, like after singing and all the songs and stuff so- I guess I say to you guys like, hey-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Thanks for- it felt good playing with you guys after all that went down. I know that you didn’t have control and that sucks and.. We're here for you though, like we’ll get through this.

Ali(as Yashee): That’s good to hear.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Just sayin’ just try not to kill us.

Spurrier(as Randy): Glad you’re not gonna be crying and dying and having existential angst.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): A little drama llama.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yeah, exactly!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): But yeah, I feel better.

Kyle: Okay, so you continue walking and following this person, they’re leading you through the streets. Uh, eventually you start to see a top of a building that is higher than the rest of the ones around you, and you round the corner to see this large stairway leading up to the doorway of this building. You look over this temple-looking like building, and you can see that it’s been overgrown with more of the same foliage you’ve seen around. You try to look around and get any indication who this is a temple to and there’s nothing really that sticks out to you. Anything- it's probably covered by overgrowth or it’s been lost to time. So, the guy gets to the base of the stairs and is like.

Kyle(As Robed Man): Oh, Jairah’s right up here, follow me and we’ll get to that stone. I promised we would so come on up and we’ll check it out.

Kyle: So- and he starts walking up the stairways. You follow him up and he opens the doors to the lavishly decorated like, worship hall. You can see like the walls are decorated with fine silks and glass work. More of these gaunt looking people; they’re a little bit nicer dressed but the people in this area are just lounging on these large like, pillows you know. And you notice in the ceiling- And there is like some holes in the ceiling where like parts of it have fallen through but that, again, you just assume is because of the age and the wear and tear.

Goodrich: Pretty sure it’s an interior design choice, get the natural light in there.

Kyle: Yeah, could very well be. So uh, but you notice at the end of this worship hall there is a woman sitting on a very nice-looking chaise lounge and there’s a peculiar looking stone that sits on this pedestal, which you all assume to be the meteor.

Goodrich: Oooh!

Kyle: So the-

Goodrich: Finally!

Kyle: Yeah, exactly! The guy that led you in here, he walks forward and he bows down really low before her in respect and says.

Kyle(as Robed Man): Lady Jairah, I brought these visitors- they came for the stone. They-they want to see it.

Kyle: And she kind of stands up and uh, she’s like.

Kyle(as Jairah): [Slightly higher pitched, enunciating each word] Oh, we have visitors to contribute to the vision. Fantastic! Well, come on up, touch the stone and tell me what you see.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uhhhh..vision? What vision?

Kyle(as Jairah): I don’t want to pollute your mind, I want you to find what you want from it without knowing.

Goodrich:(as Raz’ul): Right..

Kyle(as Jairah): I mean, we have this board going, it’s our vision board. We're trying to figure out what’s exactly going on here.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Can we see the vision board?

Kyle(as Jairah): No because I don’t want to pollute your thoughts, I want purity in your vision.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Right..

Ali(as Yashee): That makes sense.

Spurrier(as Randy): She doesn’t want to taint our vision.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Ah.

Kyle(as Jairah): This little guy gets it, I don’t want to taint your vision.

Kyle: And she kind of steps forward and like wraps the stone in a cloth and starts to bring it to you. Give me a perception check real quick.

Goodrich: Those fuzzy feelings from the song are starting to fade.

Ali: Yashee’s got a three plus one.

Kyle: Cool.

Spurrier: Randy’s got a thirteen plus three.

Kyle: Sweet.

Goodrich: I got a nine plus three.

Kyle: Okay, so twelve. As she’s walking up to you, Randy you notice that when she’s walking up to you there’s a weight to her step that does not match the size of her body.

Spurrier: [Surprised] Oh!

Kyle: That stands out as super odd, you can almost feel the ground move whenever like, she steps. So, she walks up to you, she has the stone and she says.

Kyle(as Jairah): Please, just place your hand on the stone and tell me what you see.

Goodrich: Uhhhh-

Ali(as Yashee): It’s like one of those crystal ball things!

Kyle(as Jairah): It is.

Ali: And I reach my hand out.

Kyle: Okay, you touch it?

Ali: I go for it.

Spurrier: Are we supposed to take turns though?

Kyle: All at once.

Spurrier: Oh.

Ali: My hands on there.

Goodrich: Wait so the roll we just did was to determine if this was weird, right? I couldn’t say like- could I roll another thing- I can’t just keep rolling different checks until I get Kyle to say, “this is a bad a or good thing” right?

Kyle: Yeah, I mean, that’s kind of like meta gaming in a way. Cause like- it's like you didn’t get the perception- Randy was the only one who saw what stood out as odd about her in general and that really like-

Goodrich: But if my natural inclination was like not to touch it, I have every right to not touch it right?

Kyle: Yeah, no, absolutely if you don’t want to touch it you don’t have to touch it. Like-

Goodrich: Okay, I look at you Randy and I say.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Are..are you gonna touch it?

Goodrich: [Whispering] Touch the butt.

Spurrier(as Randy): [Laughs] I mean things have been weird enough, might as well.

Spurrier: So yeah, Randy reaches out.

Goodrich: Okay, I put my hand over my eyes and say.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I got a bad feeling about this.

Goodrich: And I reach out and touch it too.

Kyle: Okay so you all three reach out, some of you tentatively some-

Goodrich: Wait can Splash do it too?

Ali: [Laughing] Is he even with us?

Kyle: He comes with you! He’s kind of like- you see him standing behind you near the entrance and of course he’s dressed like Luey Hewis.

Goodrich: Oh yeah, right.

Kyle: And he’s got a little note pad out and he’s just like, you know, taking notes and observing.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey Luey, you want to uh, get up here? [Singing] Louie, Louie! Oh baby, come and touch the stone.

Kyle: He uh-

[Goodrich continues vocalizing and players laugh]

Goodrich: [Away from the microphone] I’m just playing!

Kyle: No, no you’re good man! He stops his writing and he looks up and is like.

Kyle(as Symbol): Yeah I guess uh, I guess I should get in on this first-hand experience and what not!

Goodrich: Oh, heck yeah!

Kyle: So, he puts his pad away and walks up to stand with ya’ll and is just like looking at you three.

Kyle(as Symbol): You gonna do this?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Splash is going to distance. He’s going for speed.

Kyle: He’s not all alone though.

Spurrier: In a time of need.

Kyle: So Jairah’s just like.

Kyle(as Jairah): Okay, so do you want to touch the stone now? Four people are better than three, it’s more to our vision.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Sighs] Alright, here we go.

Kyle: You all reach out, some of you tentatively some of you blindly, touch this stone. Immediately your vision goes black. You all have this first-person experience that starts with you standing on top of a building overlooking the sea. The world beneath you begins to tremble, the sea is becoming violent. You begin to see pods rise from the surrounding area and they shoot off towards the sky disappearing. You’re brought to your knees as a loud bellowing series of notes shakes the planet. You begin to look towards the sky and you see the red moon, that you know is Brubeck. A blinding light nearby begins swirling when out of nowhere emerges a much larger blue celestial body. You can feel the planet beneath you beginning to tear. The ceiling that you’re standing on gives way beneath you, you fall a great distance into a large hall. There you lay dying, the last thing you see is a tentacle come up into view and grab a nearby stone. It holds it tight as your vision fades to black.

You all come to and you notice that your hands are placed on this exact same stone. A wave of uneasiness hits you as you make this realization, and Jairah looks at you and says.

Kyle(as Jairah): [Determined] What did you see? Anything? Does your head hurt? Answer me, I demand you tell me!

Kyle: Uh, and she pulls the stone back and covers it back up with the cloth she was holding it in.

Goodrich: She says, ‘Fool of a took’.

Goodrich: Umm, so we don’t know what each other saw right?

Kyle: Yeah, right you have no idea what each other saw.

Ali: I’m kind of looking at you guys for like, any kind of-

Spurrier: Yeah-

Ali: Confirmation like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Did you guys- I mean, I saw some weird stuff.

Ali(as Yashee): Uh-

Spurrier(as Randy): Yeah.

Ali(as Yashee): I don’t know if I want to talk about it.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Luey, you seeing what we’re seeing?

Kyle(as Symbol): I didn’t see anything.

Goodrich: Whoa.

Ali: Huh?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Nothing weird? Nothing out of ordinary?

Kyle(as Symbol): Nothing for me, so uh it sounds like ya’ll had a pretty weird experience.

Kyle: And he pulls out his notepad out, and Jairah’s just like.

Kyle(as Jairah): Okay, well at least three of you saw something.

Goodrich: Wait, can we roll investigation? Maybe Splash saw something and he’s not-

Kyle: Insight?

Goodrich: Telling us? Yeah, insight.

Kyle: If you want to roll and insight go ahead and roll an insight to see if you can tell if he’s lying.

Goodrich: [Singing] All of us, together. [Rolls dice] I got a fifteen plus three, eighteen.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: Uh, one plus one.

Kyle: [Laughs] Awesome!

Spurrier: And Randy got eleven plus three.

Kyle: Alright, from what you can tell he’s telling the truth.

Spurrier: Lo-ho-ho!

Goodrich: Lo-ho-ho, dear readers. Um, okay well I say.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uh yeah, I've never really been one for visions or interpretations and whatnot uh. Might need to consult with some sort of explicator first, maybe.

Spurrier(as Randy): I need some time to mull it over-

Kyle(as Jairah): [Angry] Oh okay, so if you don’t just want to tell me what you saw then we can just have your friend killed.

Kyle: And you see Mitch-

Goodrich: Whoa, wait-

Kyle: Get pulled out from a side room and he’s bound and they release a gag on his mouth and he’s just-

Kyle(as Mitch): [Gasping] Guys! This isn’t Basom! This isn’t Basom at all! They stopped me in the middle of the night, you’ve got to get out of here!


Transcript By: Gabi Cardone @peachdoodles