Ep. 6 – Getting Schooled, Mvt. II

[Theme song plays]

Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to BomBARDed.  Let’s sum up last episode real quick. Our heroes started off by decorating their dorm rooms, spent a little time with that. And eventually made their way down to the cafetorium where they met the cook, Alto Brown. They sang a song to order up some food and while they were waiting they had a little chat with Tabitha, who was going to head up to the practice rooms for a little bit of sparring. Tabitha invited them along and after they dished down on the grub that they got they made their way up-

Goodrich: (in a deep voice) Now that’s what I call brunch!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Yeah, they brunched hard!

Goodrich: We’re back, right?

Kyle: Yeah!

Goodrich: Okay [laughs]

Kyle: Yeah, you’re back, you’re here. I’m not by myself.

Goodrich: [unsure] Never mind.

[All laugh]

Kyle: So, we- they made their way up to the practice rooms and had a little bit of a spar with Tabitha. Which ended in a little bit of an odd moment for ya’ll. I mean, you know, she kind of had a weird kind of turn of events. Ya know, eventually came to-

Goodrich: Got a little spooky.

Kyle: Yeah, exactly! You know- it's kind of-

Goodrich: It’s close to Halloween so-

Kyle: Yeah! Oh, wooo!

Goodrich: Maybe it was all just a big prank.

Kyle: Maybe!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: We’ll have to see. She appeared, you know kind of embarrassed more or less but she ran off and you decided after a small skirmish like that you should probably rest up a little bit. You did your song of rest and chilled out in your dorm room and- Randy we had a slight moment while Yashee and Raz’ul had their nap. And we are going to pick back up right where we left off, which last time I asked you Raz’ul and Yashee for a perception check-

Goodrich: Mine was eight plus three eleven.

Ali: We both had eleven.

Goodrich: Awww!

Kyle: Both got eleven? Alright so you both notice- you walk out and Raz’ul you’re immediately notified to this. Something smells off with your potpourri, something doesn’t smell right. You notice, Yashee, that it doesn’t smell as sweet as before. It still smells not bad but it’s not as good as it did. And you both see Randy walking out and he’s like, you know, stretching from his nap and kind of looks at ya’ll and smiles.

Goodrich: Could I- [laughs] roll investigation, I guess?

Kyle: Yes, you can roll an investigation-

Goodrich: I mean- I mean, I guess-

Kyle: Yeah absolutely, roll it.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: That’s perfect.

Goodrich: Does the perception check cover that?

Kyle: The perception check is you noticed something is off, investigation will let you figure out what’s off about it.

Goodrich: Let’s find out, Randy! [Rolls dice] So that’s fifteen plus one for my little jack of all trades.

Kyle: So-

Spurrier: Sixteen.

Kyle: You’re riffling through the potpourri that you’ve made-

Goodrich: [grunts frustratedly]

Kyle: You’re looking through and you’re seeing all of the different blends of stuff and then you’re noticing like small sprigs of hair and like crust and whatnot that you’re not sure where these are from.

Goodrich: Have we determined like, is your hair red like in real life?

Spurrier: Well we haven’t said specifically but there’s been renditions that have shown Randy with red hair.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier: But there have been renditions that show him with brown hair too. So I think we’ll leave it up to the listeners-

Kyle: The foot hair- you can’t tell through the layer of dirt.

Goodrich: Okay, okay.

Spurrier: It’s caked and crusty.

Goodrich: Well I find this hair and I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey guys uh..who- what happened here? Why is this- my potpourri was jammin’ now all the sudden its been jacked up with this hair.

Goodrich: I look at you two, and I hold it in my hands like a child with a broken toy!

[All laugh]

Goodrich: I have just a single tear running down my cheek.

Ali: I’m busy like smelling myself, just to see if it’s me like-

[All laugh]

Ali: Then I look back at you-

Ali(as Yashee): Oh gosh, where did that come from?

Spurrier: Randy walks over and wafts it to himself and..retches. Disgusted. Do I need to do a deception retch?

[Players laugh]

Spurrier: To see if I can like, fake it and convince him?

Kyle: Yeah, go for it!

Spurrier: I’m disgusted- that is a fifteen plus six, twenty-one.

Kyle: Yeah, I mean, he’s pretty convincing but you know, he retches back a little bit and takes a step back. Raz’ul, give me a perception check.

 Goodrich: Alright, [roll dice] that’s a six plus three, nine.

Kyle: Okay, you’re looking down in the potpourri and like Randy takes a step back and you notice there’s a small patch of hair missing on the top of Randy’s foot.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Ah! J’accuse!

[All laugh]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): It was you wasn’t it, Randy?

Spurrier(as Randy): Listen, Listen-

Ali(as Yashee): Aw, Randy!

Goodrich(Raz’ul): Look I get it, it's Halloween, right? You're having a fun little prank. Was it you? I mean.. You know..Right? Look I'm not mad- in fact I was getting kind of tired of this one. I like to kind of refresh it often so I was gonna replace it anyways so..

Spurrier(as Randy): It was.. I apologize-

Goodrich(Raz’ul): Alright! Okay!

[All laugh]

Spurrier(as Randy): It was an offhand way of saying I was ready for a new scent too.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay, well next time just ask.

Spurrier(as Randy): Well, alright.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: So, I guess I gotta get my next one ready. So, I kind of take the bowl and, tap tap tap in the garbage can or whatever.

Kyle: Mhm.

Goodrich: Then I put in some water, apple slices, ground nutmeg, cinnamon sticks, some whole cloves vanilla and just a little tiny bit of orange zest.

Kyle: ooh!

Goodrich: Just to kind of rid it of that burnt hair smell.

Ali: Yeah.

[All laugh]

Kyle: Excellent! Okay so, the potpourri debacle of- actually it is the 199th year of the bureaucratic regime but-

Goodrich: Everyone knows that.

Spurrier: It’s canon.

Kyle: Yeah, absolutely you know, it’s that year. But anyway, so- you’ve all cleared that up and everything. That was a fun little-

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: Where do you want to go now that you’ve-

Goodrich: [hums]

Ali(Yashee): I know we’ve mentioned the library last time.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Let’s go read!

Kyle: Okay, so we’re gonna make our way to the library. So, you head out from-

Goodrich: Splash has something for us.

Kyle: So, you’re making your way there and as you’re on your way to the library-

Goodrich: Can we walk down the hall like the Sanderson sisters? Like [grunts rhythmically] you know in Hocus Pocus?

Kyle: Gung ho on a mission?

Goodrich: [mumbles something and grunts again]

Kyle: Okay so yes, if that’s what ya’ll wanna do you can walk down the hallway that way.

Goodrich: Yashee just has our hands.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Let’s go, yay! Skipping down the hall.

Kyle: People walk around you as you’re pretty much taking up most of the hallway you know, but-

Goodrich: We’re on a mission from Splash.

Kyle: You’re walking down these stairs and you hit a right turn at these stairs and you recognize a very arrogant tone of voice before you turn the corner. You recognize the voice of Garreth-

Goodrich: Uh oh.

Ali: Ugh.

Spurrier: [Sighs]

Kyle: And you can tell that he’s talking to somebody, do you continue walking or-

Goodrich: I already had one joker today. [clears throat]

Spurrier: [Laughs] What?

Goodrich: What’s he doing? What did you say he’s doing?

Kyle: You can hear him talking to somebody around the corner at the base of the stairs.

Goodrich: I mean-

Ali: I’m good to keep walking. I’m not scared of this guy.

Goodrich: Oh, so we’d have to talk past him!

Kyle: Yeah, you’d wind up walking past him.

[Players understand and agree]

Spurrier: Oh yeah, no we’re going for it then.

Goodrich: Yeah no, I've got nothing to hide.

Ali: Strut past.

Kyle: Okay so, you strut on past him?

Goodrich: We keep doing our Sanderson sisters walk [grunts rythmically].

Kyle: Okay, so you turn the corner and notice he is talking to Christina Blackblade, his teacher. He's kind of talking and he’s got like a piece of paper in his hand. Do you just walk on by?

Ali: I’m- I'm good to keep going. You guys want to go on past?

[Spurrier and Goodrich agree]

Ali: I’ll say hi to him.

Goodrich: “Hey Garreth!” As we’re walking Sanderson Sisters style.

Ali(as Yashee): Hey Garreth!

Kyle: He kind of stops in his mid-sentence and he kind of turns and looks at you three and, he just like scratches his head a little bit. Does like an awkward wave and then goes back to talking to his teacher.

Spurrier: And while- in the mist of him doing that wave while he’s watching us, I'm gonna try to sneak and grab that paper.

Kyle: Okay!

Goodrich: Ooh! Goodness!

Spurrier: Can I have like-

Kyle: Go for it-

Spurrier: Advantage cause he’s distracted?

Kyle: Yes.

Spurrier: Sweet, alright so that would just be sleight of hand I guess?

Kyle: Yeah, sleight of hand.

Spurrier: Alright, fifteen plus six for the first one-

Kyle: Huh!

Spurrier: Is that good enough or should I do the second one?

Kyle: [laughs] Yeah, good for it.

Spurrier: Oh well, I'll just go for it then. Not as good, so twenty-one.

Kyle: Okay-

Goodrich: [laughing] He’s just holding this paper and-

Kyle: Well no he’s got it like to the side and turns and waves with his left hand and as you’re walking by- Randy you’re able to like slip this piece of paper out of his hand and he doesn’t really seem to notice. And he turns and keeps going back- everybody give me a perception check real quick.

[Dice rolls]

Goodrich: Eighteen plus three, twenty-one.

Ali: Fifteen plus one, sixteen.

Spurrier: Seventeen plus three, twenty.

Kyle: Okay, as you continue walking on you definitely maneuver this and you continue walking on. You hear him just mutter-

Kyle(as Garreth): Sorry, I don’t know who the hell that was but-

[Players laugh]

Kyle: And he goes back to talking about his teacher and you really can’t hear what he’s talking about. So- okay, cool! Yashee and Raz’ul I need you to leave the room again real quick.

Goodrich: [Laughs] Okay.

Spurrier: Away you go!

Goodrich: [From farther away] Bye guys!

Kyle: Entertain yourself for a little bit.

Goodrich: Kadus is watching Army of Darkness so we’re gonna do that!

Kyle: Sweet! Actually that’s really cool.

Spurrier: [Laughs]

Kyle: Oh man, okay so- as you continue walking with Raz’ul and Yashee and you have the piece of paper with you- do you just carry it in your hand or do you tuck it away?

Spurrier: Does it have writing on it?

Kyle: It does-

Spurrier: Okay-

Spurrier: If you open it up it does have writing on it but as you’re like holding it in your hand you just hear in the back of your head, you hear somebody say-

Kyle(Unknown voice): Man I didn’t even have to talk you into that, you just went for it man. You took to it like a fish in water.

Spurrier: Randy just chuckles to himself, and he just says “contented.”

Kyle: Excellent.. Nah that’s.. That's all you’re gonna-

Spurrier: Yeah! Nice, okay!

Kyle: Alright, come back in!

[Door opens]

Spurrier: Alright!

Kyle: Ya’ll can come back!

Goodrich: How’d it go?

Kyle: Oh it went really well.

Spurrier: Swimmingly!

[Door closes]

Goodrich: Alright you primitive screw heads-

Ali: [Laughs]

Goodrich: What’d you do?

Kyle: Now that Yashee and Raz’ul are back- you continue to walk down the hallway making your way to the library shortly after you had passed by Garreth. You just hear Randy chuckle to himself a little bit.

Goodrich: Wait, do we know he picked the paper?

Kyle: You didn’t give me a perception check so no you don’t.

Goodrich: Okay.

Spurrier: I’m stealthy.

Goodrich: Okay so just real quick, is that how it works? Like if he rolls a stealth check do we also have to roll to see if we noticed him do whatever he did ever so stealthily?

Kyle: Yeah, anytime somebody does something in stealth you want to like perceive beyond your normal perception you can just say, “I want to make a perception check” to see if you see anything above the norm.

Goodrich: Gotcha.

Kyle: So like, yeah when- it crosses a bit of the line of like meta game in a way its- like a player character winds up like, “oh I'm gonna do a stealth check” and then someone at the table is like “oh I'm gonna try and see them do it.”

Goodrich: Okay!

Kyle: It’s like really you wouldn’t know that they’re trying to do that-

Goodrich: Right, okay.

Kyle: Unless they informed you of the plan.

Goodrich: So, I guess-

Spurrier: Contextual yeah-

Goodrich: So, I guess for our purposes is you feel so inclined to this-

Spurrier: Yeah-

Goodrich: But if his roll meets our passive perception like, would we then be able to?

Kyle: Yeah, yeah-

Goodrich: That works then!

Kyle: Yeah absolutely so, for what happened now basically all that Yashee and Raz’ul know is that you walked by Garreth. You said hi and he was just like, “uh hi.”

Spurrier: Once we -

Goodrich: What a goofball.

Spurrier: Are we out of sight of him yet?

Kyle: Yeah, you walk a little ways and you take another turn and he’s out of sight.

Spurrier: Okay, so then at that point I just turn to you guys and say-

Spurrier(as Randy): Hey you guys want to check this out?

Ali(as Yashee): What is that?

Goodrich: Are you holding up the paper?

Spurrier: Yeah!

Goodrich: [Laughing] Okay!

Spurrier(as Randy): Got this off of oold Garr-bear!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Aww, oh look at that!

Spurrier(as Randy): Getting kind of a weird glare from the angle that I'm at so if you guys could uh-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): No, there’s no glare dude. That’s a piece of paper.

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s kind of chicken scratchy- I don’t know. Hard for me to read. You guys want to give it a go?

Ali(as Yashee): Let me take a look.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Laughing] Is it too hard for you?

Ali(as Yashee): Here.

Goodrich: Again Yashee takes the paper, just give it to me!

Spurrier(as Randy): Thanks!

Spurrier; I put it at a better height for you.

Goodrich: [whispers, laughing] Dude shut the- I snatch it out from Yashee like “hey!”

Ali(as Yashee): Oh! Fine! You read it then!

Kyle: So now you snatched it out of Yashee’s hand.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): ..Yeah I don’t want to read this.

Kyle: It’s just like Episode one all over again!

[Players laugh]

Ali: Alright.

Ali(as Yashee): Garreth, here’s what I could find out about the Academicon- oooh!

[Goodrich and Spurrier “ooh”]

Ali(as Yashee): It’s a trail that bards at Strumlotts must pass to receive their specialization. Also, your continued education at the school is dependent upon the completion of the trial- what? I’ve never heard about that. It's rumored that Strumlott built this but I couldn’t find proof of that being true. Hope this helps. -Caleb. Oh yeah-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Kay Love?

Ali(as Yashee): Caleb.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh!

Ali(as Yashee): With a “lub.”

Kyle: Ha KLUV.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: [sings] 98.7 KLUV.

Kyle: Oh god-

[Players laugh]

Ali(as Yashee): Oh yeah, have you given any thought to my offer? We could use someone like you, just sayin’.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I- did you- where'd you get this?

Spurrier(as Randy): Garreth.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Like- like just now? Garreth? You took it from him!?

Ali(as Yashee): You sneaky little boy.

Spurrier(as Randy): I-I was bored.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Yeah, I was having a good time too.

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s Garreth, I mean come on-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay-

Spurrier(as Randy): What else were we gonna do?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Randy.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yes?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul) What you did was wrong.

Spurrier(as Randy): Eh..

Goodrich:(as Raz’ul): And we should go give this back to Garreth.

Spurrier(as Randy): Eh..

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I think.. I could sneak it back to Garreth?

Spurrier(as Randy): I mean, if you want. I'm not sneaking it back to him.

Ali(as Yashee): Just go throw it over there on the floor or something.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh like he dropped it?

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay, let’s do that.

Goodrich: Can we-

Ali(Yashee): I mean he obviously didn’t notice it was taken in the first place.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah but, you know, I wonder who Caleb is. Also, why hasn’t Splash told us about this? This seems like a pretty big deal!

Ali(as Yashee): We have to like do that to be able to graduate.

Spurrier(as Randy): The questions grow and grow.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Sighs] Splash..

Goodrich: Okay, can we take our little Sanderson sister’s walk and like one-eighty in the hallway?

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Yeah if you want to like-

Goodrich: Pivot! Pivot!

Goodrich: Yes, if that’s cool with you guys.

Spurrier: I mean-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): We’ll be sneaky, I’ll sneak it back to him. I'll make sure he doesn’t know. Thanks for the info but again, just ask Randy.

Spurrier:(as Randy): ...Why?

Goodrich: [Laughing] Alright.

Spurrier(as Randy): You’re the stealthiest dwarf I know, you can get it back to him.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh, well aww, thanks!

Goodrich: Okay so, I guess we’re gonna walk back past him-

Kyle: All three- and you’re gonna sleight of hand throw it near his foot or something?

Goodrich: Yeah-

Kyle: What’s your plan?

Goodrich: Yes, so as we’re walking past him Sanderson sister style- [Spurrier and Goodrich grunt rhythmically]. I would like to- yeah just kind of toss it onto the floor so it’s as if he dropped it.

Kyle: Okay, after pouring over this note for a moment you turn around and your heading back. You notice that he’s just standing there by himself now and he’s looking around on the ground like in the area where he was.

Goodrich: Okay-

Kyle: As you approach.

Goodrich: I still want to just sneak it to him.

Kyle: Okay, go for it. So, you’re walking on by and go ahead and roll me that sleight of hand.

Goodrich: [Hums the Indiana Jones theme] It’s a- [laughs] It’s a four! Four plus one five.

Kyle: Okay-

[All laugh]

Kyle: So, you’re walking by and he- you kind of like throw it out and-

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Garreth like, immediately turns his head and sees it and he points at you and says-

Kyle(as Garreth): Hey! Dwarf, dwarf stop right there! Where did you get that note?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Gasps] Uhh..what note?

Ali(as Yashee): Run, run!

Kyle: Do you just want to run?

[All laughing hysterically]

Goodrich: Can we just one-eighty and bolt down the hallway?

Kyle: Yeah, yes you absolutely can.

Goodrich: Okay! I yell “Pivot, pivot, pivot, pivot!”

Spurrier: Go!

Kyle: Okay, he starts to run after you then like stops for a moment and turns around and goes back to get the note. Turns around just to see you kind of look back as he’s picking up the note and turning around and he’s like shaking his fist.

Kyle(as Garreth): I don’t know who you three are but this is a small school and I'll find you eventually!

Goodrich: I shout-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): We’re Chaos Sauce, sucker!

Spurrier(as Randy): Bye Garreth!

[All laugh]

Kyle: And yeah, ya’ll ‘round the corner and he’s not in pursuit. He has his note back he’ll probably be alright.

Goodrich: Hurray!

Ali: Alright!

Kyle: Plus, you just gave him your name so-

Goodrich: That went really well! I could have used a spell but-

Ali: Oh yeah.

Kyle: Yeah that would have been a nifty idea, whatever but- you run around the corner and you’re all laughing and like “ahahaha! We got away with it ahahaha!”

[Players simultaneously “ahahaha”]

 Kyle: And you know eventually make your way to the library. You enter the corridor that leads to the library’s front doors. You notice there’s a small like, inlet in this hallways before you get to the library and you see a sign that says, “Commissary” and all you see in this inlet is a desk that’s flush with it and you see a really skinny girl with like straight black hair sitting behind the desk just reading like- flipping through this book and looking through stuff and just looking down. Doesn’t even acknowledge ya’ll as ya’ll walk by.

Goodrich: Should we..?

Spurrier: I say we press on.

Ali: Yeah!

Spurrier: Let’s go to the library first, we’ll-

Goodrich: We’ll buy stuff later.

Ali: She’s minding her own business.

Kyle: So yeah, ya’ll head onto the library and you walk in and it’s these big double doors that open up and- pretty much there’s a reading area as you walk in. You can see like books stacked up on the table, plenty of room to sit down and read, comfy chairs and whatnot. But you notice that there’s three, really tall, really long aisle of books. So one of the branches- it's basically broken up into three branches. You have a branch of magic, music and, history. There's an older librarian standing behind the desk. He's a human, a little bit withered, probably in his sixties or something but he has obviously dyed jet-black hair and there’s a placard next to him that just says, “Mr. Read.” He’s just reading a book and the sign behind him says, “Ask for assistance if needed.”

Goodrich: What kind of book is he reading?

Kyle: You don’t know, you’d have to walk up and ask.

Goodrich: Oh! Right, well let’s do it.

Spurrier: Yeah, say hey.

Goodrich:[Laughs] Alright, let’s go see him.

Kyle: Alright so you all walk up. He peers up from his book and it’s actually like a journal that he’s writing in and keeping things you know like, small stamps and you notice he’s breaking up poetry and everything. He stops and he closes his books and he looks up at ya’ll and like-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Oh, welcome to the library. It's a perfect day, isn’t it?

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah uh, listen Symbol said to come and talk to you about something he just-

Kyle: He gets a look of surprise on his face and is just like-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Oh, you’re Symbol’s students, excellent. I've actually been holding onto something he gave it to me earlier today-

Goodrich:[whispers] Oh he did, huh?

Kyle(as Mr. Read): He was picking up-

[Players stifle a laugh then burst out laughing]

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Uh, great one! Really, really fresh!

Spurrier: I turn over and I say, “Raz’ul nice!”

[Spurrier and Goodrich high five]

Kyle(as Mr.Read): No, he actually gave me these items I'm supposed to dole out to you when he sends you to me. He called them- actually now that you bring it up this does actually makes sense. He called them his Wonder Balls.

[Players laugh]

Ali(as Yashee): W-well..

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Cause he wants you to wonder what’s in his Wonder Ball.

Goodrich: Oh jeez..

Kyle(as Mr. Read): So by all means, let me fish these out.

Kyle: And he brings out like a little basket and puts it up and it’s just like-

Kyle(as Mr.Read): You stick your hand in and you pull out a surprise kind of deal so-

Ali(as Yashee): Oh it’s like a fun game! That’s nice!

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Who would like to go first?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Why wouldn’t he just give us what we need? Listen, I'm getting like a little..

Ali(as Yashee): Is this like, there’s many things in there-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Oh yeah-

Ali(as Yashee): Or is there like-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): He put many different things that you- I mean, it’s just treats. You know trinkets that-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh like we’re pets. Good. That's great.

Ali(as Yashee): Or like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Thank you. Splash.

Ali(as Yashee): A baby.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Or a child.

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I feel great.

Kyle(as Mr. Read): I mean you don’t have to-

Kyle: And he starts to pull it off the-

[All players collectively tell him to stop]

Kyle(as Mr. Read): You don’t have to take it, that’s fine. I’ll tell Symbol that you don’t want them.

Kyle: And he starts to put them away.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): No, no, no I'm sorry.

Kyle(as Mr. Read): If you’re gonna bitch and complain about what people are giving you for free then you don’t have to take it.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh! Sorry.

Kyle(as Mr. Read): By the way, keep it down.

[Players laugh]

Spurrier: Library.

Ali(as Yashee): Well uh, I'll check out the- i’ll do it.

Kyle: You wanna dip your hand in?

Ali: Sure!

Kyle: Okay, go ahead and roll me a d6.

Ali: [Rolls dice] two.

Kyle: Okay cool so, you reach your hand into this basket and you pull out- it's just a small sphere wrapped in tin foil.

Ali: Oh! Okay, this is really pretty I think I'll start peeling it?

Kyle: Okay, you start to unwrap it and you remove the tin foil layering to reveal just a glass ball. And inside you can see a smaller circle with like swirling parts and different- It just looks like different materials all like melded together in the core of this orb. And etched out on the outside of this orb it says, “thunder tap shoes.”

Ali(as Yashee): Thunder tap shoes.

Kyle: Mr. Read looks at you and he’s like-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Ooh, that looks like a special one! We'll get to figuring that out here in a moment, let’s see what your friends get and we can really figure out what these Wonder Balls have inside them.

Ali(as Yashee): Sure!

Kyle: Alright.

Spurrier: Well, Randy steps up.

Kyle: Alright roll me a d6, Randy.

Spurrier: Ooooh, a five.

Kyle: Alright, you reach your hand in and you pull out and you also get another tin foil covered ball and you pull back the package and it's another glass orb. Inside the material looks different than what is was from Yashee’s. It's a little bit more luminescent and glows but, still swirls around. On the glass is etched the word, “Drift Globe.”

Spurrier: Drift globe?

Kyle: Drift globe.

Spurrier: Okay.

Kyle: Mr. Read takes the basket and shakes it at you.

Goodrich: [Laughs] ‘Kay.

Kyle(Mr. Read): Do you want to go next?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yes.

Kyle(Mr. Read): Do you want something? Or do you not?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Nah, no, no-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Are you sure?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I’ll give it a shot-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Have you gotten over it yet?

Goodrich: [Roll dice] Tres.

Kyle: Three. Okay, so you reach your hand in and you pull out- again, another tin foil wrapped ball. You unwrap this and you see like a dark material mixing with like metallic looking material on the inside of this glass orb, and on the outside of it you see the words etched, “Capo.”

Goodrich: Alright.

Kyle: Mr. Read looks at you all, takes the basket and puts it away.

Kyle(as Mr. Read): Excellent, so you’ve all chosen one. Let's take those back to the Dream Forge right back here in this room. We'll get these items manifested-

Ali(as Yashee): Excuse me? The what?

Kyle(as Mr. Read): The Dream Forge, it’s an item that I've created that pretty much you insert prime materia into it and it’s like- creates this kind of item that’s inside the Wonder Ball. So, you input these and it’ll create the item that is given. You're going to be getting thunder tap shoes, you’ll be getting a drift globe, and you’re going to get a capo.

Kyle: I’m gonna go ahead and give a quick shout out to Keaton Stamps which- I asked him about this a long time ago. He posted this in the Dungeons and Dragons 5e group on Facebook. So, thank you Keaton for letting me use this, it’s a great design and I'm really excited. I know I probably did a bit of a tweak on it but if you ever hear this episode- thanks man, I appreciate it you letting me use it!

So, Mr. Read takes you all into one of the back rooms and it’s pretty much like the room is taken up by a large almost hour glass kind of structure, but there's no glass in the middle of it- so yeah a cylinder with just like four posts holding the top up from the bottom. And you can see a receptacle where you can, you know, insert these balls. Mr. Read says-

Kyle(as Mr. Read): So another way to activate this is once you’ve inserted the Wonder Ball you must then activate it with your own custom words of passing. So, we’ll need to set those up and basically this will be a common phrase that you’ll use to initiate the machine and have it start activating. Now the only thing about is that there is a little bit of protection there. So next time you come back to use the dream forge this panel here-

Kyle: And he gestures to something right underneath where you insert the Wonder Ball-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): This panel right here is going to display chords for you to use with your words of passing. This insures people can’t use imitations to access your allotted amount per year, which is four. So, who wants to go first? Who wants to take a walk on the wild side? All you have to do is set up your- you can generate whatever words or phrasing or how ever music you want. Now, later down the line the music will be dictated for you as a kind of way to, you know, capture you as the bard.

Goodrich: So, are we doing this all together?

Kyle: So, what we’re gonna do this time is a little bit different. I'm gonna have you each roll your own like, four progression chord dice and you come up with your own like, phrasing that is gonna be your words of passing.

Goodrich: Right.

Kyle: So, we’ll use it this time and then of course next time, we’re still gonna roll it above table-

Goodrich: Right.

Kyle: It’s still rolling dice but it’s this machine generating random chords for you.

Ali: So, this is our song for this-

Kyle: This is our song, yeah-

Goodrich: Ooh!

[All players talking over each other excitedly]

Kyle: Surprise guys, it’s a little different this time!

Ali: Nice.

Goodrich: Alright!

Kyle: And I know that kind of limits Yashee a little bit in a way but we’ll make it work.

Ali: Yeah since I don’t have uh-

Kyle: Yeah we’ll-

Goodrich: Harmonic-

Kyle: We’ll make it work for you.

Ali: Maybe Yashee will just, you know-

Goodrich: Rap?

[Kyle laughs]

Ali: Whip out a beat that she thinks is fitting and see what she can do with it.

Kyle: Yeah, Mr. Reed’s just like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): You know I think we can make something work for the uh.. For the non-chordal players in the ensemble so, we got a work around.

Goodrich: You’ll have to channel your inner Beck.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: There you go!

[Electronic music plays]

Kyle: So yeah, let's go ahead and break this down. We'll do individual dice rolls, just roll four each and see what you get. Does that sound- does that sound good to ya’ll?

Goodrich: Yeah, do we maybe want to make it two? Per person? Cause with-

Ali: Two with a C.

Goodrich: Yeah two with a C cause since it’s just a password I mean, it’d be pretty short. It's just a short thing apparently.

Kyle: Yeah sure, I'm cool with that.

Spurrier: Could do something interesting stuff too anyway.

Goodrich: Okay so we’ll roll the chord dice and I guess Yashee will wait.

[All laugh, dice rolls]

Goodrich: [sighs] B diminished and E minor, wow.

Spurrier: B diminished and C.

Kyle: Wow!

Goodrich: So, diminished little passwords we got.

Kyle: Okay so, we’ll let you two work on your own little thing and then for Yashee we will uh- we'll just let you figure it out, you know. I trust you so..um..

Goodrich: You got this!

Kyle: We’ll see what you come up with and uh-

Goodrich: So, I guess-

Kyle: Since it’s percussion, you know.

Goodrich: Instead of rolling for the drum kit you’re just gonna pick one.

Kyle: Yeah, I think that would work.

Ali: I’ll figure out something that works with I’m-

Goodrich: What you got.

Ali: What I’m cooking up here.

[Players all agree]

Spurrier: Seems more fair.

Kyle: Let’s break there and get into the writing process.

Goodrich: Make some captchas!

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Hey everyone it’s your dungeon maestro Kyle here, just want you another thank you for giving us a listen. If you’re not already following us on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook, just search BomBARDed Cast on any of those three social media platforms and I'm sure you’re gonna find us there. If you want to, you know, spread a little bit of love for the show go ahead and use #bardcast to get that out there. If you’re listening in iTunes or Apple Podcast just go to where you can review and give us a rate, review and subscribe. We appreciate that, it helps us out a lot, especially being a new podcast.

If you can’t get enough of Lindby in your ears then hop over to lindbymusic.com. Again Lindby it spelled L-I-N-D-B-Y. Anyway, so we have our continued sponsors from limitless-adventures.com. If you’re a DM and have little time to prep for your D&D 5e game try limitless-adventures.com. This month limitless is running their third print kickstarter and that’s going to provide you a hundred limitless monsters which include lore, tactics, and more. Learn more at limitless-adventures.com/monsters. Also, on October 2nd they launched their third kickstarter, so I'm sure if you head over to their website you can find that. It's just going to help them produce more material. They're really about making sure DMs have the materials they need to run sessions, just really making sure- helping them get passed their writers block so thank you limitless adventures, again that’s limitless-adventures.com, give them a check out.

And we’re gonna take a moment before we go back into the game and I'm gonna bring my bards in here so uh-

Goodrich: Heyy!

Kyle: Yeah, there they are! And we told you we were gonna read off some of the rouge rock names last time- or from the ones you sent in from the last time we mentioned it. So, we’ll start with going to the right, Goodrich.

Goodrich: Yeah! Thanks everyone again for sending this stuff in, we a had a really great time reading through them. My favorites were from moonshadowkatie on Reddit, they went for the gold, they had JGiles Band, Arrowstealth, Stone Temple Pirates, and then one of my favorites Fleetfoot Mac.

Ali: Yes!

Kyle: That’s very good.

Goodrich: We had a lot of AC/DC toss outs like Armor Class/Damage Check, Armor Class/ Difficulty Class. Like Matthew Johnson who's’ inkstainsjacket on twitter and PaterVoss but yeah those are some of my favs.

Spurrier: Yeah and uh, let's see here. Two of my favorites over on Twitter again from PaterVoss, he had the Breach Boys.

Ali: Heh, nice.

Spurrier: And then over on Reddit from ghosttypetrainer we have Deft Punk, so that’s cleaver!

Ali: I had a couple off of Reddit from user BDH009, they had Good Charlotten-

[All chuckle]

Ali: And Imagine Daggers.

Kyle: Nice, I guess Imagine Dragons would have been a little on the nose.

[Players agree]

Kyle: So yeah, I really enjoyed all on Reddit, trulyelse put in Jimmy Handtricks Experience.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Which I thought that was really funny. Then Lily Blue on Twitter or @bluespacequeen put up Guns and Rogues, Fall Orc Boy, and They’re Actually Giants.

[Laughter continues]

Kyle: Which I think that was their friend named Whappy Dog but yeah those are all really funny. So yeah, we had a lot of really good ones come in and we’re really excited. So if you think of any more feel free to keep pushing them out there, maybe we’ll keep reading more but we had a really good time looking through those and reading those. We appreciate your participation in that.

Goodrich: We try to keep the music puns fresh but there’s only so much time and we’re only so intelligent.

[All laugh]

Kyle: You know how dice rolls go, you don’t always pass your intelligence checks.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: So alright- thanks for joining me in this middle section guys. It was fun to do this but we’re gonna get back to the action and see what you wrote.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Okay so, now that we’re back into it Mr. Reed looks at you three and is just like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Okay, now that you understand how it works, who would like to start us off?

Ali(as Yashee): I’ll give it a go I’m pretty excited!

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): So Yashee, go ahead and place your ball in here and you know, it should ask for your tune.

Ali(as Yashee): Alright!

Kyle: Alright so you go up and you insert the ball into the device and uh-

Goodrich: Or do you!?

[All laugh]

Kyle: And the panel below it just lights up and you hear a biing! [Ding] and the dream forge actually starts, and you see from each corner of the post material start to like, float- it's almost like those bits they turned that kid into.

Goodrich: Oh, Mike TV?

Kyle: Yeah, it basically looks like the bits that Mike TV got turned into and they are forming and coalescing together. Mr. Reed nudges you-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): That’s- Go, go now.

[Drum beat begins to play]

Ali(rapping): Unlocking the prize, forging from all sides in front of my eyes made true to my size. The forge is the place with the dream now resides, this half orc is ready to see her surprise. Imagination is racing while facing anticipation of this phantasmic creation, it goes beyond explanation. So, I'll go put in this ball cause my wonder is peaked, reveal what’s been made, let these dreams and I meet.

[Music stops]

Kyle: Mr. Reed kind of takes a step back-

Goodrich: Whooa! What the-

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Ali(as Yashee): Was that good enough? Did that work?

Kyle: Yeah Mr. Reed kind of takes a step back and like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Oh that’s..that was fresh!

Goodrich: Yeah!

Ali(as Yashee): Aw thanks!

Goodrich: Were your palms sweaty? Knees weak? Arms heavy?

Ali: [Laughing] A little bit.

[Players laughing]

Kyle: Aw man.

Goodrich: Was there..vomit on your tunic already?

Kyle: Tunic.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Mom’s spaghetti? Cause you were nervous but on the surface, you definitely looked calm and ready.

[Laughter continues]

Goodrich: It didn’t seem like you’d keep forgetting what you wrote down.

[All talking over each other enthusiastically]

Kyle: And you hear a, bing! And shoes fall to the ground from the middle of this structure. You can see a really nice set of shoes that look like they have tap material, you know they’re basically really super awesome tap shoes.

Ali: I pick them up- I mean, are they my size?

Kyle: Yeah, yeah they fit-

Ali: Like a one size fits all-

Kyle: Yeah, you put them all you notice they stretch out to fit your foot perfectly it’s very-

Ali: Back to the Future 2 kind of-

Kyle: Yeah-

Ali: Materials-

Kyle: Yeah, absolutely, damn. You all see this get produced for Yashee-

Ali(as Yashee): Ooh they’re very comfortable.

Kyle: Oh yeah so, essentially what these thunder tap shoes are going to do is, when you wear them you can activate them twice per day to use the thunder wave spell.

Ali: Sweet! Alright, I’m gonna walk to the other side of the room like-

Ali(as Yashee) [Tap shoes hitting the floor as she walks] Oh, these are so cool..

Kyle: Alright so Yashee slips on the thunder tap shoes and starts walking around breaking them in a little bit. Mr. Reed turns to the two of ya’ll and is like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Who wants their next item?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uh, I guess I could give it a shot. I mean..jeez, following Yashee-

Spurrier(as Randy): Right? Yeah, best of luck!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I’ll do my best but uh..

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Yeah.

Goodrich: So, I guess I go over to the dream forge and put the ball in can I do like a little woosh! Like a Skee-Ball kind of?

Kyle: Yeah you do like a Skee-Ball motion and get it in there and the little diagram underneath the insert lights up like it did for Yashee.

Goodrich: Sweet, okay.

Kyle: And you hear the same ding! [Ding] and same reaction, everything starts to meld together from these little bits and particles.

Goodrich: Okay so I do my Usumptin flip, bring it down it down and I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright, dream forge.

[Guitar starts to play]

Goodrich: I wonder.. I wonder.. I wonder.. ‘bout this Wonder..Baall, Splaash..

[Music stops]

Goodrich: And that’s it so..

Ali: That’s beautiful!

Goodrich: Not a lyrically laden as maybe a-

Spurrier: Leaves you..wondering..

Goodrich: [Laughs] Wondering

Kyle: Wondering, yeah.

Goodrich: Uh, yeah!

Kyle: And you know, Mr. Reed looks at you and is like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Yeah, that’ll actually do really well.

Kyle: And eventually yes you get like a- it's very small but it’s a standard sized capo. However, when you pick it up you get this sense like, I can hit people in the head really well with this thing.

Goodrich: Like throw it at them?

Kyle: No like, if I put this on my guitar, I'm going to be able to like hit someone in the head really well. So essentially like if you apply the capo to your instrument or to Axe Usumptin you’re going to have like a twenty percent chance of like hitting them in the head.

Goodrich: Sweet, three-sixty no scope.

Kyle: Yeah! So-

Goodrich: Dig!

Mr.Reed: Randy, come on forward!

Spurrier: Alright I'll pop on over and pop in the ball.

Kyle: Alright, and the little space below it lights up just like the other two. Ding! [Ding]

Goodrich: Alright! Let's see this C and B diminished!

Kyle: Yes.

Spurrier: And I reach out and give the dream forge a little bit of a pet.

Goodrich: Aw.

Spurrier(as Randy): I’ve come for you.

[All laugh]

Spurrier(as Randy): [Shushing] I'm here now it’s Randy.

[Keyboard starts to play]

Spurrier(singing): Hey dream forge, it’s your old pal Randy. When I give you balls, we’ll both feel mighty dandy. And dream forge you know I won’t be long. And don’t you know, it was Randy all along.

[Music stops]

[Goodrich laughs]

Kyle: Oh man, people are gonna like start shipping the dream forge and Randy. I can see it now!

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Okay!

Kyle: So, Mr. Reed walks up and he’s like-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): You- you have a very interesting love for this machine..already..

Spurrer(as Randy): Thanks!

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Uh but well done, well done!

Kyle: And the machine starts to churn and begins to churn out the-

Goodrich: Does it do anything extra special for Randy?

Spurrier: Does it purr a little?

Kyle: No. Give me a perception check.

Goodrich: Perception check! [Rolls dice] Seven plus three!

Kyle: Nothing that you notice.

Goodrich: [Laughing] Okay.

Kyle: Nothing stands out to you. Everything starts to coalesce together to this bioluminescent orb and you go over, you pick it up and maybe at first, you’re not necessarily impressed cause it’s like “Oh a light orb.”

Spurrier: [Sighs]

Kyle: And you set it down and start to walk away but then you notice it starts to like, follow you.

Spurrier(as Randy): Aw sweet!

Kyle: Yeah, so that is the drift globe. It’s pretty much gonna be like- you can activate the light, turn it on, turn it off. It'll follow you if command it to do so, if it winds up being like- pretty much if you move a certain amount away from it it’s going to go with you. There are only certain times where you can actually lose it or it loses light and we’ll approach those scenarios when it happens.

Spurrier: So, I can like, say we were in a cave or something, I can have it go out in front of me to light the way-

Kyle: Yeah-

Spurrier: Okay but only so far away.

Kyle: It needs to be within sixty feet of you I believe.

Spurrier: I can just turn it on or off make it brighter or dimmer or whatever.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Okay, sixty-foot glow ball!

Kyle: We’ll say you can choose the hue of the light as well.

Spurrier: Okay!

Kyle: and Mr. Reed says-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Well, I hope you all enjoyed what you were able to get out of those. I know its kind of a random thing but Symbol really wanted to give you something extra. He brought these by knowing that we had one- had a dream forge around so uh-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): So, he dreamed these things up?

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Yeah I mean you know these are kind of like his own inventions in a way that don’t have have to be invented it’s just kind of get the prime material together encase everything in the orb and drop it on in so-

Spurrier: Handy.

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): If you ever- of your if you ever deserve any more or earned any more ya’ll just come back and see me.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Ah, so he can toss us a treat?

[Players laugh]

Kyle(as Mr. Read): I mean yeah, if you want to put it like that I mean if you think of yourself as an animal, I think of these as gifts.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): That’s true I'm just..

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Being a dick.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah..

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Yeah.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah..sorry..

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): It’s okay.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): It’s been a long, what? Forty-eight hours or whatever it’s been so-

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): I mean if ya’ll need any assistance finding anything in the library of course feel free to ask me, I'll be more than glad to help.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): cool!

Spurrier(as Randy): Shall we?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Thanks Mr. Reed!

Spurrier(as Randy): Shall we mosey?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Okay, we’ll keep on steppin’

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): If there’s anything else like if ya’ll need basic supplies there’s a commissary down the hall. You could probably you know, order most of the things you need from there. These are just little fun trinkets.

Spurrier(as Randy): Hm!

Ali(as Yashee): Well, thank you Mr. Reed.

Kyle(as Mr. Reed): Oh yeah, no problem call me Lou.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: I was wondering if ya’ll got the hints I dropped-

Goodrich: I mean I thought it was a reed like a reed on a bassoon or a-

Spurrier: Yeah-I did too.

Kyle: You could always look at it that way.

Ali: I thought it was read cause he’s a librarian like, Mr. Read.

Kyle: It was spelled r-e-a-d, yeah.

Goodrich & Spurrier: Ooooh!

Kyle: Alright so ya’ll leave the library and where do ya’ll wanna go next?

Ali: Well I've got that pamphlet map so I'll bust that baby out-

Ali(as Yashee): You know we talked about going down to the basement.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, the basement. Could be something useful down there maybe.

Goodrich: Does it- are we-

Ali(as Yashee): You guys still want to go?

Kyle: You’re checking out the pamphlet and you notice on- like next to it there’s like an astrick at the bottoms reads, you know, “Faculty and Staff Only.”

Ali(as Yashee): Oh, appears to be Faculty and staff only.

Spurrier(as Randy): Well..

[Players all hum in thought]

Spurrier(as Randy): Well since we just saw Mr. Read.

Spurrier: So, Randy pulls out his organ, gets it all set up in the proper way and says-

Spurrier(as Randy): Alright guys I think I've got a plan.

Spurrier: And he goes- [singings while playing the organ] Transformers, Randy in disguise.

[Someone laughs]

Spurrier: and I make myself look like Mr. Read.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Ooh, nice!

Kyle: Okay, awesome what are you doing as Mr. Read?

Spurrier: I was gonna be the authorization for getting into the basement.

Kyle: Okay! Alright so that’s a spell for you. What is the requirement to- i mean what’s the DC for..

Spurrier: They have to succeed in an intelligence or investigation against your spell save DC and my spell save DC is fourteen.

Kyle: Yashee, Raz’ul, you have noticed that Randy turned himself into a really good disguise of Mr. Read.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh that looks perfect!

Spurrier(as Randy): Thanks!

Ali(as Yashee): Any chance you can disguise your friends too?

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s disguise self-

Ali(as Yashee): Oh okay-

Spurrier(as Randy): Not disguise Yashee.

Goodrich: I know what I’m gonna do! So, since you’re a teacher, maybe I can transform into something small like a scorpion and just hitch a ride perhaps.

Spurrier: A ride in my pocket!

Goodrich: What have I got in my pocket? A Raz’ul! I should also mention that since we did a short rest I did get both of my transformations back.

Spurrier: Phew!

Goodrich: [Rolls dice] That is a thirty-eight which is- a riding horse!

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Do you wanna just ride me down to the-

Spurrier: Yeah! Let’s do it, absolutely!

Kyle: Yashee, Randy, this is maybe like- what the fifth time that you noticed Raz’ul transform and each time it seemed- the first time worked out really well but it seems like the subsequent times have steadily just like gotten less on the nose. You know, you’re kind of just starting to wonder like, what are you doing?

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: Well hey, let me just say this real quick Kyle. So I transform into the horse cause I said um..so, whenever I roll these dice like I have to transform into it. It's not like, “oopsies let me try again.” I transform into it- so they see me transform into this riding horse. And I- [laughs]

Spurrier(as Randy): Raz’ul that’s super cool but that’s not pocket sized.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah..well, you know.. I thought pocket sized, then I thought “what a way to make an entrance” right? Like-

Spurrier(as Randy): I mean- could I ride you?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah! Absolutely you could! And you know I thought, again you know- I thought about it and just in mid transformation I was like, “you know a riding horse might be a little bit more fun.”

Spurrier(as Randy): I mean, it’s grand I’ll give you that!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah! I'm going for the shock value kind of-

Ali(as Yashee): Can you fit two of us on there?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Well-

Ali(as Yashee): We balance out, I'm like a normal sized-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): But you’re still like a student-

Spurrier(as Randy): But I’m like normal sized now- right cause Mr. Read is..

Ali(as Yashee): Oh yeah!

Ali: So are we just standing outside the library while they’re- while he trying out-

Kyle: Ya’ll are- ya'll are doing this, you probably walked a little ways while talking about what you were going to do. So, you know, you’ve passed commissary by this point but you’re not like doing this in front of the commissary person but- but yeah ya’ll are just kind of in a hallway a little bit ways away from the library.

Ali: You wanna head down? See if that’ll work?

[Spurrier and Goodrich agreeing]

Spurrier: Saddle up!

Goodrich: Alright!

Spurrier: Alright, you probably don’t have a saddle because it’s bare back.

Goodrich: Well-

Spurrier: It’s like some Cirque De Soliel-

Goodrich: Yeah, I guess so because it says- [laughs] well, again I can like transform with my clothes on-

Spurrier: Oh!

Goodrich: So, but i’m- yeah I'd say they go into me. So, I'm just a horse, a riding horse. I'm like one of those Budweiser horses, I guess?

Kyle & Goodrich: A Clydesdale?

Goodrich: Yeah.

Ali: Those are big horses!

Kyle: Those are really big horses.

Ali: You could definitely fit on that bad boy.

Goodrich: Well you’d still get shot down for being a student.

Ali: [Laughing] Okay, okay.

Kyle: Yeah, it’s true.

Goodrich: So, you need to like wait for us to get there right?

Ali: Yeah, I might just like, go down there and see what the situation is and see what I can do cause I don’t think I'll be able to like sneak in, I'm pretty big.

Goodrich: Okay.. Lets- let's go! Let's do it!

Goodrich: Clip clop, clip clop!

Kyle: So, you’re heading towards the basement and as you approach the stairs down to the basement, which that’s going to be interesting for a horse-

Goodrich: Can they not go down stairs?

Kyle: I thought that was like a thing-

Ali: Or is that cows?

Spurrier: That’s cows yeah-

Kyle: Is it cows?

Goodrich: I think horses can go downstairs.

Kyle: Hm..

Goodrich: [Reading] If a horse can’t see the ground- Okay so the reason-

Ali: Isn’t there an elevator?

Goodrich: So, the reason why they apparently can’t go downstairs is because they can’t see like, their feet. But I'm a human err- I'm a dwarf in a horse's body-

[Players talking over each other about how this will work]

Kyle: That sounds like a good solution.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: You can go down the stairs. Problem solved.

Ali: ‘Cause you know how stairs work.

Spurrier: It’s perfect.

Kyle: Absolutely, okay so again you make your way down the stairs and you hear the sounds of construction. You make your way down the hallway to the- towards the storage entrance and you notice it turns left into where the storage is, there’s a sign and everything. So are all three of ya’ll approaching it at once or- Yashee? It sounded like you were going to hang back.

Ali: Is there like a nearby corner I can stand behind?

Kyle: Yeah, they’re gonna have to turn a corner to be able to get into this area.

Ali: Alright, I think I'm just gonna stand there and look like I belong and kind of just watch from the side.

Kyle: Mkay, so you’re probably gonna- you're gonna hang back a little bit and try to eavesdrop I imagine?

Ali: yes.

Kyle: Okay so I guess it’s Randy atop Raz’ul riding over to the entrance. So yeah you see people like moving things, like these large stacks of like blocks. As people are lifting them and moving them you can feel this like, radiant cold coming from them. But these big muscular guys are coming out and moving them into the storage in the basement. And there’s an elf sitting behind the desk, he has his like feet kicked up but then he looks up and sees..[someone laughs] Mr. Read sitting on top of a horse and he kind of stops and stands up and is just like-

Kyle(as Elf): Uh..Good-good afternoon Mr. Read! Uh, why are you riding a horse inside?

Spurrier(as Randy): Delivery!

Kyle(as Elf): D-delivery- okay um, I'm sorry but storage is currently closed for repair and modification. We should be available to take people in t- I just can’t believe- you're on a horse- Sorry just a little taken aback, I didn’t expect to see a horse down here.

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s Strumlotts, I'm sure you’ve seen stranger things than a horse riding through the hallways.

Kyle(as Elf): Well I mean- [sighs] I guess that’s true I mean-

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s a little odd but it’s a standard day in the school. I think you would know that.

Kyle(as Elf): O-Okay, I'll take your word for it sir.

Goodrich: A good Mr. Read plan.

Kyle(as Elf): Regardless I think it’s going to be best if you come back tomorrow. They're just doing this construction right now so-

Spurrier(as Randy): This’ll be quick. We just need to get in, get out and we’ll be out of your hair.

Kyle: Okay, roll me a persuasion check.

Spurrier: Alright [rolls dice] that is an eight plus six.

Kyle: Eight plus six.

Spurrier: Fourteen.

Kyle: He’s gonna take a moment and he like, looks around and he’s just like-

Kyle(as Elf): Okay uh, be really quick about it though cause I could get in trouble. These workers are suppose to be like uninterrupted and you know with insurance and stuff like that it could get messy-

Spurrier(as Randy): You can have Head Mistress Greenspire take it up with me if worse comes to worse.

Kyle(as Elf): Well that- that's fair. Oh, by the way, I wanted to know what did you think of my paper on the Doo-wop Decimal System?

Goodrich: [Laughing] What!?

Spurrier(as Randy): Handy, it could be a little bit more polished.

Kyle(as Elf): Okay.

Spurrier(as Randy): I’ll get back to you, I've got some notes. I mean, it’s good it’s good just think it could tighten it up ever so slightly.

Kyle(as Elf): Okay.

Spurrier(as Randy): I love the concept, I think it’s very smart, I just think we could- crisper! You know?

Kyle(as Elf): Okay, alright. I'll look forward to your notes. I'm just..you know I'll get it back from you next time I'm in the library.

Spurrier(as Randy): Perfect!

Kyle: Yeah you know and he’s like-

Kyle(as Elf): Quick, go on.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yah!

[All laugh]

Spurrier: And I smack you on the hind quarters!

Goodrich: [Neighs loudly and laughs]

Kyle: Alright, Yashee roll me a perception.

[Laughter continues]

Ali: Six plus one, seven

Kyle: Six plus one?  Okay, you don’t really hear the conversation that just happened but you do see like the rear end of Raz’ul, you know sticking out, and then you see Randy’s hand go back after a little bit and slap it. Slap the rear and-

[Players laugh]

Kyle: And the horse moves on so you can infer that they got in.

Goodrich: [Laughing] We’re at a full gallop now down the hallway!

Randy: Right down the stairs.

Ali: Alright, um so I've been watching from around the corner, have I seen anybody other than the guy at the door?

Kyle: Other than the elf that was guarding the door there are just some construction workers coming out every once in a while moving these large blocks that- yeah just these large bricks that you see.

Ali: Are there any of those bricks near me?

Kyle: No, they’re closer towards the entrance of the uh-

Ali: Okay, so I have a disguise kit-

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: Just in my stuff. Can I use that to look like one of these construction workers? I also have a costumes-

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: I also have two costumes. So maybe I can dress up as one of these construction workers?

Kyle: Yes, absolutely. Um, okay well let’s do the interaction and then I'll figure out a roll based on your interaction with this person okay?

Ali: Okay! So, I disguise myself as one of the construction workers and with full confidence walk up and grab one of these big bricks.

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: And just kind of- I've seen them kind of go in and out I assume since standing there for a bit so I kind of just follow one in-

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: And see if he lets me.

Kyle: The elf like, stands up err- actually he’s still standing up.

Kyle(as Elf): Hey, hey wait a second I haven’t seen you with the rest of the crew whats uh..what’s going on? Where'd you come from?

Ali(as Yashee): Oh, I'm new here, a new hire. I'm just trying to learn the job.

Kyle: Okay, roll a deception.

Ali: Uh, that’s gonna be a two plus one.

Kyle: And he’s just like.

Kyle(as Elf): Um, new on the job? I mean nobody brought us any new paperwork or anything, at least I haven’t heard anything. I'm probably gonna have to talk to your foreman about this first, lemme see if I can find him real quick.

Kyle: and he starts to-

Ali(as Yashee): Well wait just one second.

Ali: And I pull out my mallets and.. [singing while playing a beat] I put a spell on you, and now you’re charmed!

Goodrich: Whoa-ho!

Kyle: Okay and I need a wisdom saving, I think.

Ali: Correct, a wisdom saving throw.

Kyle: Uh, no he failed of course. So, he is charmed um, so that spells allows you to do what?

Ali: He- the charmed creature regards you as a friendly acquaintance and when the spell ends the creature knows that it was charmed by you.

Kyle: He kind of stops for a second and is like-

Kyle(as Elf): Wait, wait a second I actually I think I do remember..Fred? Are you Fred?

Ali(as Yashee): Uh yeah! Fred Rocksfeld!

Ali: As I smooth down my mustache.

Goodrich: You have a mustache?

Ali: I have like a sweet handlebar mustache and yeah-

Goodrich: Oh, for the disguise!

[All laugh]

Ali: Yeah, a mustache just for this!

Goodrich: Got it!

Kyle: Well yeah, he’s just like-

Kyle(as Elf): Yeah, yeah sorry- I don’t know what I was thinking I apologize buddy. Go right ahead and get to work!

Ali(as Yashee): I appreciate it, I'm not trying to get fired on my first day.

Kyle(as Elf): Oh no, I'd hate for that to happen for anybody but my apologies.

Kyle: But he goes and sits back down and you’re good to go.

Ali: I waltz on in.

Goodrich: What you should have said was, “That was my horse”!

Kyle: Bring it back!

[Players all talking over each other]

Kyle: Alright so, you walk in carrying one of those stones and it just radiates cold, it's kind of chilly on your arms and everything. Um, but you can walk in and see like, you can hear most of the construction coming from the left hallway as you walk in. There's a hallway in front of you and you can go right as well. You walk into this crossway and-

Ali: I go-

Ali(as Yashee): Yoohoo!!

Spurrier: We turn around and do a sweet little jump.

Goodrich: Oh okay, so we’re doing like a little bit!

Kyle: Ya’ll turn around, make an intelligence check.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] Would it be like an investigation or is it a straight-

Kyle: Yeah let’s- well actually let’s just make it..give me a perception check.

Spurrier: Okay.

Goodrich: So that’s that roll still, okay. Six plus three nine.

Spurrier: Twelve plus three.

Kyle: Okay, Raz’ul you turn around- Randy you have to turn around because you’re on top. Raz’ul you see a construction worker calling at ya’ll and Randy you see Yashee in construction worker disguise calling at ya’ll.

Goodrich: No harm new fowl for me I’m just like, “Okay..”

[Ali laughs]

Spurrier: I’m just like-

Spurrier(as Randy): Oh hey! Sweet disguise!

Ali(as Yashee): Hey guys! Good job back there, nice work with your horse.

Spurrier(as Randy): Nice work with your ‘stache!

Ali(as Yashee): Thanks, I love it.

Ali: I’m gonna keep the disguise on for now.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: I guess I'll just stay as a horse.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: Still I'm just like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Whispering] Who is this guyy?

Spurrier(as Randy): Hey it’s Yashee.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oh! Phew!

Ali: I tip my hat.

[All laughing]

Spurrier: I just pat your mane. It’s okay.

Goodrich: [hushing] It’s just Yashee, whoa whoa boy.

Kyle: So ya’ll are making your way through the hallways and the doors in this area are large circular doors and each of them display a set of concentric circles. Upon further investigation you notice that each circle represents a circle of fifths, one of major and one for minor.

Goodrich: Nice.

Kyle: You also notice there is a hole where a key signature should be. There's probably- just from guessing, looking around there’s a total of twenty-four doors and you notice that there is a different key signature missing on each door.

Spurrier: Ohh..okay I'm just gonna try to open one really quick.

Kyle: Okay so you go to open one of the doors and you know, you pull on the lever and it doesn’t budge.

Spurrier: Hm, alright.

Ali: So, are all the doors locked?

Kyle: Ya’ll try out a couple more doors and each of them are locked. You know you pull and it's locked, it’s like you don’t have the right key.

Goodrich: Ooh! Boy!

Ali(as Yashee): There’s so many doors here, I mean if there’s anything cool in them I can at least narrow it down.

Spurrier: Oh, yeah?

Ali: So, I pull out my hammer mallets. [Singing while playing drums] Gotta, strange magic! Detect, strange magic! [music ends]

Kyle: Hell yeah.

Ali: It just says you sense the presence of magic within thirty feet of you.

Kyle: You use your magic to cast a spell and you start using them as almost like dowsing rods to start detecting things and, you’re walking through and it’s like leading you. It takes a while to really hunt something down but eventually you arrive to the door where the key that’s missing is the key of A Major.

Players: Ayyy!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: so yeah.

Ali(as Yashee): I think I got it boys.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I dunno guys, should we maybe like-

Spurrier: This is weird.

Kyle: Randy wants to try and pick that lock?

Spurrier: Yeah, so that would be-

Ali: Yeah sweet, do it.

Spurrier: What would that be?

Kyle: Well your proficient with lock tools so you add your proficiency and you have a lock picking kit so that’s three plus two on picking a lock, I believe that’s how that works.

Spurrier: Well am I just rolling a D-

Kyle: D20.

Spurrier: D20, okay. Alright so let’s see here that would be a fourteen.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: Or a nine plus five so-

Kyle: Yeah, fourteen is good enough to pick this lock off the door and Yashee your mallets start like- it’s pretty much like old furniture and stuff it looks like maybe there was an old teacher-

Goodrich: What a sweet fire sale!

Ali: I shake them like, are these even working anymore?

Kyle: But it starts to like lead you towards this desk and this dresser, it’s specifically poking at this door. One of the dresser drawers.

Ali: Okay well, is it like pulling me?

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: Okay so I'm already heading over there.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh gosh well, I guess I'll see what's in here and-[makes a creaking sound]

[Players chuckle]

Kyle: So, you open this door- you open this drawer and you find a small like cylinder and it’s hollow on the inside, looks like it could fit around a staff or some kind of stick. And it has- etched on both sides of it it looks like somebody etched in four string looking like things.

Ali: Hm, well I'll grab it and I won’t hide it.

Kyle: So, you find this device and with your detect magic you’re able to get that it’s more of a- there's an enchantment magic put upon it. Give me an intelligence check real quick, should be an easy one I hope.

[Players start laughing]

Goodrich: Nope.

Ali: Well I'm already not very intelligent I got a two and I think I have a- lemme find it.

Goodrich: Do you just put it in your mouth?

Ali: It’s either a one or a zero so..

Kyle: So, with your intelligence roll you can’t quite infer what this could do for you-

Ali: I’m like a three-year-old like, square holes, circle peg.

[Goodrich laughing]

Spurrier: Can I roll one too since Yashee failed?

Kyle: Yeah go for it.

Goodrich: I’ll roll one too.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] That is an eighteen.

Goodrich: I got a seventeen!

Kyle: Well ya’ll both realize this could be affixed to a quarter staff or handle of a weapon.

Spurrier: Okay, so I turn to Yashee like-

Spurrier(as Randy): Hey Yashee, why don’t you try sticking it on your hammer mallets?

Ali: So, I’m just gonna take it and I’m gonna look at it. I take out my mallets and I'm gonna try to put it over the top of my mallet and it’s just not big enough to fit over the top so-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yashee, underneath!

Ali(as Yashee): I don’t know!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yashee, put it on the handle!

Spurrier(as Randy): On the handle, Yashee!

Ali(as Yashee): Oh, OH!

Raz’ul & Randy: Ooooooh!

Ali: And it slides right on.

Ali(as Yashee): Beautiful, alright lemme just hit the wall and see how it feels. [drum hit and low tone] You guys hear that?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah uh-

Ali(as Yashee): Is it just me?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uh, it’s kind of loud too.

Ali(as Yashee): That’s really low. Lemme try- lemme see it again.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Wha- uh!

Ali(as Yashee): [Low tone/drum get louder] Wow that’s cool, maybe-

Kyle(as Worker): Hey what’s that noise down there!? George go check that out!

Spurrier(Randy): Yashee, stop!

Ali(as Yashee): Sorry, I guess that was kind of loud.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, a little bit.

Kyle: Roll a perception check everybody.

[Dice rolls]

Ali: Seven plus one.

Spurrier: Sixteen plus three.

Goodrich: Uh yeah, sixteen plus three nineteen.

Kyle: Okay, you’re trying stuff out so you’re not hearing anything other than the mallets and the bass that you have going on now- ya'll hear like footsteps coming from around the corner.

Goodrich: Gotta go!

Kyle: We’ll see what happens-

Goodrich: G-T-G!

Kyle: Next time!

[Theme song plays]

Transcription By: Gabi