Ep. 4 – Tuning Up, Mvt. III

[Piano Music]

Kyle (singing): Welcome baack, to Bomb. Bard. Eed.

[someone groans]

[Theme song begins playing]

Kyle: hey everyone welcome back to Bombarded. Last time you all had to clear the downstairs room of the escaped phase spiders but had to make your way into the cave because the door behind you had been locked. Having survived a few spidery traps you encountered Wesley in the cavern above you through a grate in the ceiling. He tried to get you to cage yourselves for experimentation, and you refused him and then he decided to set his pet ettercap on you. Ya’ll quickly dispatched of this creature using a level of magic well above your current abilities. At this point Wesley furiously ranted about your lack of compliance and plan and mentioned someone named Delarim. That’s spelled D-E-L-A-R-I-M if ya’ll wanna write that doown.

Spurrier: Yeah-

Goodrich: That’s a good idea.

Kyle: Um, he then used a dimension door spell scroll leaving you behind in the cave alone. So we’re gonna kick this off, go ahead and everybody give me a perception check.

Goodrich: Okay!

Spurrier: Alright! [Rolls dice] twelve plus two, fourteen.

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: I got a nineteen plus two.

Kyle: Perfect.

Ali: Mines just ten.

Kyle: Just ten, okay, Raz’ul and Randy, on the right wall of this cave there’s a section of rock that looks like, not three dimensional. So that kind of stands out as odd, you know, once you have a chance to look around you notice that. Yashee, you’re still- you're kind of checking out this uh..well no, that creatures gone. So you’re checking out the cages and everything and the area.

Ali: Mm, okay.

Kyle: Just looking around.

Goodrich: We’ve got a lot to unpack. [Ali and Spurrier laugh] After that little uh, little encounter. I guess I look over to Randy and I’m like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey, not to mention everything that just happened but, have you noticed that wall?

Spurrier: Well, just to ask. When you say it doesn’t look 3D you mean like, in comparison to everything else around or like?

Kyle: Yeah, like, it looks like flat texture compared to like, how you can see like divots in the wall and everything.

Spurrier: Oh- oh, okay, okay.

Goodrich: We gotta turn up Randy’s resolution. [laughs]

Kyle: It looks textured like it's supposed to be the rest of the wall but there’s something- yeah.

Spurrier: Like a good 90s texture, like in Half Life or something.

Kyle: Yes, absolutely.

Spurrier: Got it. So, to Raz’ul.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yeah?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): We should go check it out right? I don’t know.

Spurrier(as Randy): It looks a little- looks a little textured.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Um..

Kyle: So what are ya’ll doing?

Goodrich: I don’t have any investigation and my intelligence is ten.

Spurrier: Mine is too, well we might as well both try!

Goodrich: Lets go for the goold.

Spurrier: Lets investigate! [dice rolls]

Goodrich: Oh! Well, I got an eighteen.

Spurrier: I got a three!

Kyle: Cool, that’s definitely good enough. You walk over and you start checking out this wall. This section of wall is basically a shower curtain with rock wall print on it, behind it if you pull it back you find a spiral staircase leading up.

Spurrier: Pay no attention to the-

Kyle: Man behind the curtain.

Ali: I’m still over checking out the cages like, “man this is really well built!”

Goodrich: Yeah, I feel like we’re not as surprised by what happened [laughs] as maybe we should be.

Kyle: No ya’ll are definitely- like, you talking about the magical thing that happened?

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: Yeah, that’s still kind of-

Ali: It was pretty intense.

Kyle: Yeah, no, ya’ll were really, really caught off guard it’s like, you’re a little shocked. You’re in shock as to what happened to that creature.

Spurrier: We’re almost in denial of it, we’re just focusing on the shower curtain instead [someone laughs].

Ali: Yeah.

Spurrier: We’re in- we're just in the moment.

Ali: All stunned.

Spurrier: It’ll sink in later.

Goodrich: We’re stunned! Um, there’s a stairwell behind there?

Kyle: Yeah, you pull back this rock wall print curtain and you find a spiral staircase leading up.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul, but in a higher tone): What luck!

 [All laugh]

Kyle: What voice was that?

Goodrich: Yeah, sorry! Uh..Hey guys-

Spurrier: Raz’ul was overcome! [laughs]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey guys, um, if you guys can pull it together, found a stairwell over here, get us out of here since we can’t alohomora our way out of that door. So..

Spurrier(as Randy): I can uh, I can sneak on up there see what’s going on.

Ali(as Yashee): Check it out.

[Other players agree]

Kyle: Randy, you wanna sneak on up there?

Spurrier: I wanna sneak on up there.

Kyle: Okay, go ahead and give me a sneak roll.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] Uh, seven plus seven is fourteen.

Kyle: Okay, so you make your way up the staircase and you enter the room that you only imagine is where Wesley was standing. There are cages of varying sizes scattered about the room. There’s a table with- you can see the like edge of like a saw off the table, you can’t really see anything else on it just cause it’s a little bit further away from you. And there’s gears kinda scattered about on the floor and there’s a bin near the table where you, you get kind of a putrid smell coming from it even from across the room. So that’s what you see, you don’t see anybody- anybody in there.

Spurrier: Okay, so I just go back on down and I share all that info.

Kyle: Okay, do ya’ll wanna go ahead and head on up then?

Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier(as Randy): There’s something delightfully putrid up there! We should uh, give it a whirl.

Goodrich: Alriight, err-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alriiight.

Ali: I turn around like, “Oh, yeah okay,” and just kinda slowly follow quietly.

Kyle: So ya’ll head up into this room and ya’ll get a good look at it and smell that putrid smell that Randy was talking about, and um.

Goodrich: Oh.

Spurrier: Waft.

Kyle: And ya’ll walk in a little bit further, is there anything in this room ya’ll wanna investigate that I listed off there’s the, there’s the table, there is the bin where the smell is coming from, and there’s other cages.

Goodrich: Do we see a way out?

Kyle: Yes, there’s a hallway across the way that it’s kind of hard to see because it’s like a windy cave passageway, so you don’t notice it at first but then once you walk around the room you see that, yeah it actually leads back into a hallway.

Spurrier: I’m gonna use my rogue mage hand. So I guess it’s technically the hand of Eddy Izzard the Wizard.

Kyle: Okay. [laughs]

Spurrier: Uh, so let him come on out. Imagine the hand from Super Smash.

Kyle: Oh! [laughs]

Goodrich: Yes!

Ali: Oh, yeah!

Kyle: That’s your hand, yeah.

Spurrier(as Randy):[distorted voice] Master Hand. [Normal] There we go.

Spurrier: He comes on out and I want him to investigate that putrid bin that you were saying.

Kyle: Okay so you send your hand over there to kind of investigate and you see it like pull up and lift a couple things and you look at what it’s lifting up and you’re noticing that it’s just a bunch of discarded like, limbs of different creatures.

Goodrich: Ugh!

Spurrier(as Randy): [sighs] Alright, come on back Eddy Izzard Wizard, Master Hand.

Goodrich: [laughs]

Kyle: It comes back in-

Spurrier: Back into my gizzard.

Kyle: Goes finger first into your belly button.

Spurrier(as Randy): Ugh.

Ali: Oof..

Spurrier: [makes a sucking noise]

Goodrich: Oh jeez.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Alright you guys I guess, head on out!

Spurrier(as Randy): Lets mosey

Ali(as Yashee): Cool.

Kyle: Alright, so you make your way through the cavernous hallway. At the end of the hall you find a door the opens up to what looks like another room in Wesley’s hut. In this room on the left is another work bench but it has been cleared of most of the tools that would be there. Three mannequins similar to the one you saw downstairs stand on the right side of the room. Go ahead and give me- everybody give me a perception check.

[Dice roll]

Goodrich: Man, nineteen plus two.

Kyle: Cool, cool.

Spurrier: Fifteen plus two.

Kyle: Cool, cool.

Ali: Got that natty twents!

Goodrich: Oooooh!

Kyle: Nice!

Spurrier: [whispers] A nat twenty.

Kyle: Okay, Yashee, you notice a piece of black cloth on the ground near the work bench.

Ali: Okay, I’ll go over to it and uh- I'm not gonna touch it unless it seems..okay to..

Kyle: You like, poke it with a stick?

Goodrich: [laughs]

Ali: Maybe-

Goodrich: Point and stick!

Ali: I think I’ll just use my hammer.

Kyle: You find like- you find like a rod on the ground that was spilt- like dropped off the work bench and you use that to push it and you just push it and it just looks like you’re pushing a handkerchief.

Ali: Okay I’ll uh-

Goodrich: I’ll elbow Randy and I’m like,

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): What?

Ali: And I’ll pick it up-

Ali(as Yashee): Hey! Look at this sweet piece of cloth!

Ali: It’s a little, you know, I pick it up and flap it out a little.

Goodrich: I give a sideways look at Randy, like.

Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeaah,

Ali: [laughs]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, Yashee, looks cool!

Spurrier(as Randy): Hmm!

Kyle: So Yashee-

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s beautiful!

Kyle: Yashee goes over and picks up this like, toys with this black cloth and like picks it up and she’s like “Hey check out this black cloth I found!” and starts like flapping it out and this thing unfolds from a handkerchief size piece of cloth to this large like six foot black pit. And you can actually see some things inside of it. Inside there you notice a box that you could open up, looks like, you know kind of like a tool box. There’s a couple of books that are bound together by a leather strap, and a jewelry box, and a parchment container.

Ali: Okay so, I’ve got this big flapped out thing, I kinda just lay it down or, am I like holding it-

Kyle: No-

Ali: Can they see into it or?

Kyle: Yeah, you like flap it out and lay it down on the ground and it opens up into like a large like, six foot circle. You see these things in like pretty much the bottom of this circle.

Goodrich: How deep is the pit?

Kyle: The pit is ten feet deep.

Goodrich: Jeez..

Ali: Um, I’m just gonna go ahead and hop in.

Kyle: Alright, so you hop in and you’re pretty much standing at the bottom of like a black hole. There is a bottom but you’re kind of taken by surprise to feel it because it doesn’t look like there is one.

Ali(as Yashee): Well cool, hey! There's a ground down here! Thank goodness.

[Someone laughs]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah!

Ali: I call up to you guys.

Ali(as Yashee): Hey! You know, there’s nice solid ground if you guys wanna come in I can toss you out later.

Ali: I’m gonna start checking out some stuff in here, rummage through. I’ll hold up stuff to you guys if I find anything.

Goodrich: Yeah, so nevermind-

Ali: Okay, I’m gonna check out the parchment container first.

Kyle: Okay, you open up the parchment container, it’s pretty nice looking. Unfortunately when you open it there aren’t any documents inside.

Ali:..Okay. Well, uh, okay well, I’m gonna check that jewelry box then I guess. [makes a rusty squeaking sound]

Kyle: Okay, you open up the- are ya’ll just gonna hop down there after she checks out the scroll or..?

Spurrier: I’m just gonna wait up there.

Goodrich: I was just about to say, we’re just- can I just like sit down on the side and dangle my feet over? Like,

[Someone laughs]

Goodrich: While I’m like [singing] Yashee, what do you- Err

Kyle: Yeah you can do that.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [singing] Yashee, what do you see?

Kyle: So when you open the box- Yashee you grab the jewelry box and you open it up and inside there’s a pendant in there. On this pendant you see the image of a red hand clutching a cracked pearl on a field of onyx.

Ali: Okay. Alright I’ll go ahead and say, “hey catch!” And whoever is looking at me I toss it to them.

Kyle: Dexterity save, winner gets the catch.

Spurrier: Can it be an acrobatics save?

Kyle: Acro-be-nimblo, go for it.

Spurrier: Acro-falla-gosin

[Dice roll]

Goodrich: [sighs] I got a three.

Spurrier: I got a twenty-three.

Kyle: Ooh, man! Sounds like-

Goodrich: [laughs] You shove me out of the way.

Kyle: Randy definitely got it.

Spurrier: Chariots of Fire starts playing and Randy leaps up in slow mo-

[Someone laughs]

Spurrier: [In slower voice] Whaa!

Spurrier: Except way higher like, [higher pitched than before] Ahh!

[All laugh]

Goodrich: I try to reach up and I just slip and fall on my face.

Ali: Oh. [laughs]

Kyle: So yeah-

Spurrier: Randy like, runs up your back and launches off, kicks you in the face on the way. [laughs]

Kyle: Alright so yeah, you catch this-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [pained grunt]

Kyle: This jewlery box-

Spurrier(as Randy): Sorry!

Kyle: Are you gonna open it? you wanna go ahead and open it up and check it out?

Spurrier: Yeah, yeah.

Kyle: So you see the same thing that I just described to Yashee just a second ago, Raz’ul you’re just kind of sitting there like, [pained noise].

Goodrich: I’m not sitting there I’m straight up freakin’ soup eyeing on the ground like, wondering what went wrong so-

[All laugh]

Ali: I’ll call up-

Ali(as Yashee): Do any of you guys recognize that icon or picture on there of the hand? Is that-

Spurrier: We can’t do like a history check or anything to see?

Kyle: Yeah if you wanna do a history check to see, go ahead you can.

[Dice rolls]

Spurrier:..A seven.

Ali: [chuckles]

Kyle: Noo. Not that. Unfortunately, the symbol doesn’t bring to mind anything for ya’ll.

Ali: Okay, I’ll call to Raz’ul and toss the books up.

[All laugh]

Ali: It’s just a couple of books right? Not, like-

Kyle: Okay yeah, Yashee- Yashee grabs like the leather strap binding the books and tosses them up to you-

Ali: I call up to him so he knows it’s coming-

Kyle: Since she called it you-

Goodrich: I did, I rolled and eighteen so-

Kyle: Yeah you definitely catch it, You’re like “ooh” after missing out on the jewelry box but you definitely catch the books. One of the books is about the anatomy of humanoids around Algar and the other one is a book about simple machine constructs. You recognize the term constructs as meaning like golems and stuff like that. Which you have- being a dwarf, you have some background with.

Goodrich: Cool-

Kyle: You at least know what a golem is.

Goodrich: Got it.

Kyle: And I mean- you all know what a golem is but, they’re not commonly machines, ya’ll know that for sure.

Goodrich: They’re more commonly like magic powered?

Kyle: Yeah, more commonly you have your- you know there’s like a rock golems, and-

Spurrier: Metal golems

Kyle: Flesh golems, and stuff like that. Well the metal golems that would be the machine golems that I’m describing now.

Goodrich: Oh okay.

Kyle: So that’s not as- not as common.

Goodrich: Mhm.

Kyle: So-

Spurrier: Coool!

Ali: This guy was into some weird stuff! I’m gonna check out that large box.

Kyle: Okay, so you open up the tool box and inside you see just like the basic set of tinkerer tools, and you know there’s some rods, bolts, nuts, gears, and stuff like that.

Goodrich: Kyle. When Ali opens the box does it go- [grunts like Tim the Toolman].

[All laugh]

[The same grunt is repeated, some of the players hum the theme for Home Improvement]

Kyle: No, we can’t do that.

Ali: Alright so some tools, some rods, some nuts-

Kyle: Yeah, so you find some basic gear like that. So yeah that’s pretty much- I feel like ya’ll have gone through everything that was in the- in that hole. What’d ya’ll wanna do now?

Goodrich: Can Randy and I play like a practical joke on Yashee and like put the thing, start putting the-

[All laugh]

Spurrier: Start folding it-

Kyle: Start folding it up? Yeah, you can.

Goodrich: Okay.

Ali: So I’m like playing with the tools, not paying attention.

Goodrich: And I’m like, Hey- err [clears throat]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey Randy. You know what would be pretty funny?

Spurrier(as Randy): Hm?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): We close this thing up on Yashee, so she thinks we’re..

Spurrier: There’s a twinkle of malice in Randy’s eyes!

Kyle: [laughs]

Spurrier: And it’s wonderful.

Kyle: How far do you fold it up? You can fold it up it up to the size of handkerchief.

Goodrich: Well, I don’t want to crush her though. I just wanna have a little gaffaw at..Yashee.

Spurrier: We can just start to fold it, I mean we-

Goodrich: Okay, yeah-

Spurrier: We’re not gonna try to-

Goodrich: Okay, I run around to the other side of the hole real quick and I look over at Randy.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): 1, 2, 3 [whispers] Grab the corners.

Kyle: Okay so ya’ll start folding this. Yashee as you’re looking through the tool box you notice that the light from the room above you starts to disappear.

Ali: Oh okay, I look up and I’m like, “Guys! Noo!”

Goodrich: Yeah, and we’re like out of view, right? She can’t see that we’re-

Kyle: Yeah, it just looks like it’s closing on it’s own.

Ali: I just see it closing. [laughs]

Goodrich: I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Just keep going, just keep going.

Ali: I’m like-

Ali(as Yashee): Guys help, it’s closing!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): What’s wrong Yashee? We can’t see you!

Ali(as Yashee): I can’t see anything!

Ali: Well I have dark vision, right? So-

Kyle: No, not if there’s no light so it doesn’t, I mean, well-

Spurrier: Cause it’s so black it’s like absorbing-

Kyle: It’s like a black hole pretty much so-

Ali: Oh, alright.

Kyle: It’s like a magical darkness.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh no I can’t see anything! Ah! Guys help!

Kyle: Ya’ll folded it up to about like a folded towel.

Goodrich: Okay. Uh-

Ali(as Yashee): [stuggling] I can’t breath! Oh god! I’m claustrophobic! Heelp!

Goodrich: this is the perfect opportunity-

Kyle: Actually, you’re able to breath fairly-easily [everyone chuckles]. But you-

Ali: I think I’m just making stuff up so-

Kyle: No, I mean yeah, ya know, Yashee could be claustrophobic, maybe this is-

Goodrich: Are you?

Kyle: this is her-

Ali: What? Am I?

Goodrich: Oh did we just-[gasps] Oh no!

Ali: Oh no, I’ve never thought of this. Sure! Yeah.

Kyle: I mean, yeah-this could be…

Goodrich: This is the event where you-

Goodrich & Ali: become claustrophobic.


Goodrich: This could be so traumatic for you because I mean you said this is kinda like a magical thing I mean obviously-

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: I mean I’m already I’m already kind of still in shock from earlier and everything.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Ali: So now it’s just closing and swallowing me, it’s very scary.

Kyle: And the way they’re folding it- it literally looks like it’s closing on it’s own just from your perspective.

Ali: Okay. So, I just start freaking out in there. I start beating on the wall.

[All laugh]

Yashee:[panicked] Heelp!

Kyle: Go ahead and give me a strength check. Roll your d20 and add your strength modifier.

[Dice rolls]

Spurrier: And Randy is just giggling to himself.

Goodrich: Me too!

Spurrier: [Plays Toccata and Fugue by Bach]

Ali: Three plus three.

Kyle: Oh, no yeah, you’re beating on the walls and ya’ll see the towel kinda like bump and what not. As you hear Yashee screaming and you hear a thumping.

Goodrich: If only Yashee had seen Hitch Hikers Guide, she would have known that [whispers] don’t paniic.

Spurrier: Oh yeah [laughs]

Goodrich: Talking about towels- anyway, okay so I look over at Randy, ya know, knowingly like, “Okay she’s had enough, like this was fun but it sounds like she’s starting to panic.” So I say,

Raz’ul: Okay, let's let her know she’s fine. So, should we-

Spurrier: The twinkle of malice fades-

Goodrich: [laughs]

Spurrier: Randy’s a tiny bit sad, but yes.

Goodrich: Well-what you’re sad? I mean, she-

Spurrier: I’m chaotic evil.

Goodrich: Oh, that’s right!

Spurrier: I’m just having fun ya know for the hell of it.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich:[laughing] Okay. Well where- okay. So we both I guess peek our head over-

Spurrier: Yeah-

Goodrich: and say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey Yashee!

Spurrier(as Randy): Hii!

Ali: I’m like, on, like on the ground holding my knees like-

Goodrich: sucking your thumb.

[All laugh]

Ali: King of I’m shaking a little bit, I look up and I’m like-

Ali(as Yashee): You saved me! You’re back!

Goodrich & Spurrier(together): Yeah!

Ali(as Yashee): I’m safe!

Spurrier(as Randy): We fixed it!

Ali: So I like climb out of there like “I thought they had me for sure.” [All laugh] “I thought they caught me.”

Kyle: Yeah, you all drop down some-

Spurrier: The curse of Wesley! [laughs]

Kyle: Unfold it and drop down some rope, help her out and realize that she’s kind of traumatized.

Goodrich: Can-

Kyle: Ya’ll should feel bad!

Goodrich: While she’s kind of like holding her head and we’re kind of consoling her like, “there, there, there, there Yashee.” Can I like high five Randy but kind of like a confused like, “was this a good idea?” Cause I’m supposed to be Chaotic Good- I was just all about the fun but now I’m like “ooh-”

Kyle: That’s the chaotic side of you.

Goodrich: Yeah, I’m having an internal battle here between chaos and-

Spurrier: and Randy’s just totally- Slap!

[Players excitedly agreeing and laugh]

Spurrier: Lets-[Spurrier and Goodrich high five] high ‘effin’ five! We freeze in mid-air.

Goodrich: Yeah.

Spurrier: While we’re rubbing Yashee’s back.

[All laugh]

Spurrier: Oh did you take any of those tools? Before we started being dicks?

Ali: I think I wanted to get out of there so fast that I didn’t grab any of them.

Spurrier: Oh, okay, but you didn’t see anything particular- I mean you didn’t describe anything particular-

Ali: Yeah, no

Kyle: No, okay like, I think there’s actual tinkerer tools in the players handbook-

Spurrier: Oh!

Kyle: It would basically be a set like that. So, if you wanna write that down any- ya know- write any of this down in your inventory that you’re gonna take.

Spurrier: Well, I might bring the hole. Just fold it on up and pop it in my pocket.

Ali: That’s a good idea.

Spurrier: We could use that later.

Ali: Extra storage?

Spurrier: Yeah!

Goodrich: Are you like Paul? [with accent] “I’ve got a hole in my pocket.”

[All laugh]

Kyle: Okay so, Randy you can go ahead, and fold that up again to the size of a handkerchief. Feels like silk pretty much. But yeah you can fold that up, you can add “Portable Hole” is what it’s called to your inventory.

Spurrier: Portable Hole..

Kyle: Six feet in diameter, ten feet deep. It’s just like, well not quite like Holes. What did Stanley Yelnats have to dig? Was it a six foot-

Goodrich: [laughs]Shia LaBeouf?

Kyle: Yeah, Shia LaBeouf.

Spurrer: [laughs] I think so.

Kyle: Anyway, so you fold up, you have the Portable Hole in your own inventory and everything now. I’m gonna go ahead and do a little bit of fast forwarding here. We’ll say that ya’ll check out the rest the hovel. Looks like most of the stuff got cleared pretty quickly. Like uh, you know contingency plan style, fold up everything throw it-

Goodrich: Live out of bags.

Kyle: Yeah, exactly so-

Spurrier: Like Holes.

Kyle: So, there’s really nothing of note, nothing valuable left. Whenever you exit the hovel you do notice that the horse and cart are still out front.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): What luck!

[Players chuckle]

Spurrier: So, we have no idea where Wesley went?

Kyle: No, remember he used a dimension door scroll to just basically like, walk through a magical door leaving.

Spurrier: Okay, cool.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Well, we’ve got a lot to kind of discuss I think. When we go back- yeah! Why don’t we just hop back in this horse and cart? We should probably go back and see Splash, I mean, he should probably investigate these strings, take a look at all that we’ve got-

Ali:(as Yashee): Let him know what happened.

Spurrier(as Randy): It was our one task, maybe he’ll give us a good grade?

Kyle: Mkay, who's gonna be the driver of this cart?

Goodrich: You know what I can do?

Kyle: What can you do?

Goodrich: So that we can get there faster, maybe I can try transforming into a horse-

[All laugh]

Kyle: Yes, yes, please do, please do.

Goodrich: But still, they don’t know that I can’t control it so, in my head I’m like, “Come oon, horse!”

Kyle: Last time you did it, it worked out really well so they probably have a lot of faith in you.

Goodrich: So yeah I’m like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey guys, you know what I can do so we can get there twice as fast is lemme- I'll go ahead and transform into one of those ol’ beasts of burden.

Goodrich: [rolls dice] forty-nine- a- a black bear!

[All laugh]

Kyle: That is..definitely not gonna be your beast of burden.

Goodrich: [laughing] But a black- I mean, it’s after, I have riding horse on my list, and it’s after that so I imagine it can still-

Ali: So close.

Goodrich: It's a little unconventional but it can still pull a cart. Although it might freak the other horse out. Well! I’m doing it so we’ll see what happens I guess.

Kyle: Right.

Goodrich: So, I say uh-I'm gonna, So I look at you guys going, “alright yeah, see what I got.” I pop my knuckles and I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [grunts and voice becomes deeper] And I’m a black bear.

Ali(as Yashee): Oh!

Spurrier(as Randy): Woow!

Ali(as Yashee): Uh..well uh,

Spurrier(as Randy): That’ll work!

Ali(as Yashee): Are you gonna be able to keep up with the horses you think? You don’t think maybe choosing a horse would be a better idea?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [deep voice] well I was, you know, trying to think outside the box, as a black bear is just a strong animal-

Ali(as Yashee): Right.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [deep voice] But I can see where, ya know that maybe wouldn’t be the best thing. Lemme- lemme try one more time.

Ali(as Yashee): I mean if you got anything else, you know. That you could possibly do that’d be good.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [deep voice] Yeah, you know, I mean I just wanted to- I'm gonna be honest. I wanted to impress you guys a little bit but I maybe over did it so, lemme try one more time.

Goodrich: And I’m blushing, and you can’t really see it because I'm a bear now.

Ali: [laughs]

Goodrich: But you know, I’m very embarrassed.

Kyle: The red-cheeked black bear-

Goodrich: Yeah!

Kyle: Of Beetzart.

Ali: How are the horses handling seeing a black bear?

Kyle: It is a single horse, it has blinders on and I’m gonna say since you have at least a general understanding of animals you would not do this in a place where it would freak it out. So, I’m gonna say it’s fine.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Yeah, lemme just, yeah, I got something else in my pocket. [rolls dice] Thirty-three, oh a mule! Perfect!

Kyle: Yeah, there we go!

Goodrich: Awesome. Okay, so then I transform.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [deepvoice] Sorry.

Goodrich: So I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [grunts and goes back to his normal voice, brays like a mule] And I’m a mule.

Ali(as Yashee): Alright! That’s what I’m talking about.

Spurrier(as Randy): You ass.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Well played. Yeah, and so I say- I’m just gonna keep this voice, I’m not a big animal now so, and it’ll be better for you to understand me. So, I say-

Kyle: You could talk like Eddie Murphy.

Goodrich: Nope! [laughs] Not happening. So, I look at you guys and I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, this is what I was going for anyway, ya know, so let's just do that. Man, that really worked out..

Kyle: Alright so ya’ll get Raz’ul strapped up to the cart and everything and you start traveling back from Silk Grove. As you emerge from Silk Grove, you find yourself looking at a clear night littered with stars. A large blue crescent moon hangs in the sky and a smaller red crescent moon is not far away. Go ahead and ya’ll give me a perception roll real quick.

[Dice rolls]

Ali: Eleven.

Goodrich: Twelve plus two, fourteen.

Spurrier: Fourteen plus two, sixteen.

Kyle: Okay so yeah, all ya’ll begin hearing the sound of a rocket, or what we equate to the sound of being a rocket in the air. You haven’t heard anything this violet unless you’ve been around like a really close fireball which most people don’t survive to talk about that! [someone laughs] So, you turn around and you notice in the sky a- Raz’ul you have to crane your neck quite a bit as a mule but ya'll see a meteorite streaking across the sky, it’s headed south of where you are. Eventually it winds up making its way over the horizon. A few more minutes pass after its been out of sight and you feel a slight tremor shake the land, but after that the trip back to Strumlotts is pretty uneventful in comparison so if ya’ll wanna have any kind of conversation or talk about anything before you get there now would be the time.

Spurrier: And, really quick, with the meteorite where did it go in comparison to Strumlotts?

Kyle: It headed south.

Spurrier: Okay, just south in general?

Kyle: Just south in general, which Strumlotts is still to the south of ya’ll but it headed in that direction. It was high enough and far enough, ya know- well ya’ll don’t really study astronomy yet really so...

Goodrich: But we just know it’s going south.

Kyle: Yeah, it’s just headed going south-

Goodrich: A ways away. So I turn, do my mule thing, look back and like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): That was weird. Hey you know what else was weird? What happened in that freakin’ cavern, when we were fighting, what was that? Cause, A. I mean, awesome. That was really great.

Spurrier(as Randy): Oh yeah! I mean that was-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): But B. That guy got messed up.

Ali(as Yashee): It was a little intense.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah-

Spurrier(as Randy): Gotta say, it was satisfying though.

Ali(as Yashee): I mean it did exactly what we asked it to do but like, literally.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeaah, so I guess maybe we should bring that up to Splash when we get back. Yeah, I guess, I mean, I don’t know. This has been one crazy day.

Spurrier(as Randy): Just a little.

Goodrich & Ali:[together]Yeah-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Maybe Splash kind of knows about stuff like this. Is this a normal thing that happens with bards or..?

Spurrier(as Randy): Well I mean he did want us to get the strings after all so-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Maybe he knows something. Also-

Spurrier: Sneaky Splash.

Goodrich: Sneaky Splash.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Also, we should probably figure out a name. This is a perfect- [laugh] I think we need something to go by. A moniker or some sort of device that people can call us if this keep happening. This might draw the attention of all sorts of people, plus we need to get paid. I mean, lets be honest with ourselves we need to make some gish while we’re out here.

Kyle: I mean yeah. After Wesley like, chided ya’ll for not having a name or rider.

Goodrich: Yeaah.

Kyle: He was just like, “Oh yeah, ya’ll are pretty much free game.”

Goodrich: Well I’ll just say to you guys-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): One of the uh, so I was kinda thinking to myself, ya know what we do is kind of crazy and we’re not even sure what’s going on with it so I was thinking, what about the name Chaos Sauce?

[Someone laughs]

Ali(as Yashee): Chaos..Sauce?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah.

Ali(as Yashee): Chaos Sauce.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, it kind of rolls off the tongue. Chaos Sauce.

Kyle: I will say above the table, I do like that.

Goodrich: Yeah, and I was thinking- and also while we’re above the table, I was thinking, okay. So for all of you guys listening, we had kind of talked about alignments and Spurrier had alluded to it earlier. Spurrier is chaotic evil, Ali’s chaotic neutral, and I’m chaotic good, and we thought that was kind of a cool thing that we could do so that it creates that element of what’s going on because of the whole randomness with the dice-

[Player agrees]

Goodrich: And d&d just being a random game in general with what happens, and sauce I mean, because honestly because of like watching Great British Baking Show [laughs].

Ali: A lot of different things can go into sauce.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Tasty brew.

Goodrich: The only other name I could come up with because I was watching is, The Scrummies. [all laugh] Like whenever Mary Berry’s like [with accent] this is absolutely-

Goodrich & Ali: Scrummy.

[All repeating scrummy]

Goodrich: Yeah so, I say that to you guys, I toss it out there. That’s my one thing guys.

Kyle: I’m gonna go and head this off cause, going ahead and saying to you listeners, you’re gonna hear that Randy is chaotic evil. I dunno, I imagine a lot of people going “whoa wait a minute, evil?” and keep in mind, evil is in the mind of the person. They think of, ya know, Professor Chaos from South Park.

Spurrier: Well yeah, or it’s- I’ve seen a description online of chaotic evil as a fun-loving criminal. So, it’s just more like, ya know, I like to mix it up a little bit-

Kyle: Yeah.

Ali: Mhm.

Spurrier: I’m not gonna intentionally go out of my way to hurt people or anything.

[All agreeing]

Spurrier: But any little devious things I can get away with such as, locking up Yashee into a black hole. At least for a little bit.

Goodrich: It was maybe good that I was there with you doing it, cause if it was Yashee she might have been like [sigh].

Spurrier: Might have pocketed it.

Goodrich: Yeah, but since, maybe since I was there like, “yoo Randy.”

Spurrier: It’s a nice balance. Helps Randy be too evil- or from being too evil.

Goodrich: Right. Yeah, so any who.

Kyle: Yup! So, what about the name? Ya’ll gonna, stick with good old Chaos Sauce or does Randy or Yashee have anything in mind?

Ali(as Yashee): Chaos Sauce, I like that. It sounds fun, sounds-

Goodrich: [laughs] Sounds fun-

Ali(as Yashee): Ya know, mixing it up.

Spurrier(as Randy): It’s saucy.

Goodrich: Fun for the whole family.

Ali(as Yashee): I like it. That’ll do.

Goodrich: If ever someone wanted to challenge us or whatever they come in thinking, “Chaos Sauce, that sounds crazy I don’t wanna mess with those guys”, kind of misleading. [all laugh] Anyway so, it’s a name that you kind of associates with something fierce.

Spurrier: Well, given that we don’t know what genre we’re doing it’s a bit chaotic.

[All agree]

Goodrich: Don’t know what instruments we’re gonna have-

Ali: Leave it all up in the air.

Goodrich: It kind of works above and under-

Ali: What flavors are gonna go in this sauce?

Goodrich: Nice! That could be our tagline.

[All excitedly agreeing]

Goodrich: With that, something I was thinking, I don’t know if we should talk about this above or on the table or whatever but our voices changing. Cause you know when I talk like Raz’ul it’s a deep voice but I’m singing in kind of my natural vocal range whenever we’re doing songs.

Ali: Yeah, same for me.

Goodrich: So maybe whenever- maybe there’s a song we do later on down the road, I sing low or Ali sings low or whatever but, I guess it should just be said for everyone’s benefit that, that’s kind of the case.

Spurrier: Given the magical nature of our instruments I don’t think that’s far of a stretch we can sing in a different register.

Goodrich: Yeah. Kind of like how Mikey on Recess how he talks all high and he’s like, [deep voice, singing] swing low, sweet chariot. [normal] Ya know, his voice is-

Spurrier:  Except backwards.

Goodrich: [laughs] Yeah, but yeah he’s like a normal voice and then when he sings it’s all low and all the kids are like, “whoa cool!” Okay, cool.

Kyle: Okay so, ya’ll travel through the night. Ya’ll arrive back at Strumlotts just as dawn is breaking. You enter into the main hall where, you know everything apparated around you in the first episode. So you open those big double doors that are all the instruments fused together, but once you enter the hall you hear a quaint little voice say:

Woman’s Voice: Note Class A, please report to the headmistress's office.

Kyle: So after hearing that announcement ya’ll make your way to the office area and Randy is actually semi familiar with this when he followed Ms. McDade back- in fact ya’ll pass Ms. McDade’s office. You follow the hallway until it reaches an office at a dead end. There’s a gnome receptionist sitting behind the desk on a large stack of books. She has sandy blonde hair and rosy cheeks, and is wearing shorts and a school polo. The name plate on her desk says Sanra Dee and without looking-

Ali: San-ra?

Kyle: San-ra Dee, and without looking up from her desk and writings she says,

Kyle(as Sanra): Oh good, Note Class A, good! Head Mistresses Greenspire will see you now.

Kyle: And she presses a button on her desk and the door behind her opens up. When the door opens up you hear the sounds of a woman scolding someone for being foolish. As you walk into the office you get the image of a tall elven woman hunched over her desk looking angrily at Symbol sitting in a chair across from her. You recognize this voice from the orientation ceremony and resonance hall from the other day, but this is actually your first time meeting the headmistresses Alola Greenspire. She has medium length black and blue hair, grey eyes and is wearing white robes with musical stitchings and a long flowing scarf with a melody stitched into it.

Goodrich: Right.

Kyle: So yeah, she’s standing there, she notices ya’ll walk in and she kind of adjusts herself and stands back and says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Good morning students, I’m your headmistress Alola Greenspire, I won’t take much of your time. I have some questions about the task that Symbol assigned you, please have a seat. First and foremost, what was it that Symbol asked you to do? Where did he send you? What was the task he gave you?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Well, you see headmistress, he had us go out and he wanted me to get some magical strings. So that my guitar could, I guess-

Kyle(as Greenspire): Now wait a second, we are a bard school. So, is that how you’re going to spin a tale? At a bard school?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Riiight.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Would ya’ll like to regale the tale properly in front of the first meeting with your headmistress?

Spurrier(as Randy): We don’t wanna let you down.

Ali(as Yashee): Show you what we learned out there. Ya know, we changed a lot since the last time we were here.

Kyle(as Greenspire): That’s half of what I’m worried about, but please if you’ll regale the tale of your adventure I would appreciate it.

Ali(as Yashee): Alright guys, lets show her what Chaos Sauce can do!

Kyle(as Greenspire): Ooh, Chaos Sauce!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul):[excitedly] 1, 2, 3, 4!

Goodrich: Oh yeah, we gotta roll dice first. [laughs]

Kyle(as Greenspire): So ya’ll went with Chaos Sauce, is that the name you decided to go with?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah, and this is our anthem!

[Electronic music plays]

Kyle: Alright yeah, go ahead and grab your cord dice since the head mistress is asking ya’ll to-

Goodrich: Come oon, five chord. [rolls dice] [sighs] Give us a give chord Spur-

[Spurrier rolls dice]

Goodrich: Noo!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: What’d we get?

Goodrich: A minor, two Fs and, D minor.

Spurrier: Cool.

Goodrich: And C.

Spurrier: And C of course.

Goodrich: Okay! Alright lets- and I don’t know if this is actually gonna be our anthem but maybe! [laughs]

Spurrier: You never know. We’ll see what happens

Kyle: See how well you do.

Spurrier: The Ballad of Chaos Sauce.

Ali: Alright, so I’m gonna roll for my drum kit on this too. I’m going to roll for I guess which group of kits I can choose from. [Rolls dice] one, so that’s like A I think, [another player speaks] or the first bank, yeah. So 54- [another player speaks] Alright Blues, Blues 9, and the next roll is for the kit. [rolls dice] 32, alright Jazz 01!

Goodrich: Alright, not too bad! A Jazz kit playing some Blues, that’ll work!

Spurrier: Sweeet.

Kyle: Perfect.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Hey everyone it’s your dungeon maestro Kyle here, just wanted to thank you for joining us again. I hope you’re enjoying what’s happening here, those bards are gonna weave up the tale of what happened over the last few episodes for their headmistress. So, if you wanna start following us you can go over to Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and just searched “Bombarded Cast” and you should find us.

If you’d like to share this with your friends out there you can use the hashtag #bardcast to get it out there. If you’re listening on Apple Podcasts be sure to go in there, rate, review and subscribe, that gonna helps us climb the ladder as a new podcast and really help us get the ball rolling there.

If you’re wanting more of Lindby just scoot on over to Lindbymusic.com, again Lindby spelled L-I-N-D-B-Y. You can find us by searching that as well on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook if you just want to keep up with the music side of us, that’s all there for you as well.

We actually have a sponsor this week, which I’m glad to do because if you’re a DM that has like, little time to prep for your D&D 5e games lemme just say you should go to limitless-adventures.com, again that’s limitless-adventures.com. This month, limitless is going to be running their third print kickstarter. That’s going to provide you 100 limitless monsters which includes the lore behind them, some tactics you can use, and more. So, if you want to learn about those head over to limitless-adventures.com/monsters to give that a look. They really wanna help DMs with their writers' block, that’s one of the things, and if you’re a player you can buy this for your DM! DMs like getting presents, I know I do. So go over and check them out, limitless-adventures.com and we’re gonna go ahead and get back to the music going down.


[Music transitions]

Ali(as Yashee): Alright guys check out this beat.

[Drums begin playing, players approve]

Ali(as Yashee): I think if you guys got the tunes, I got some words to go with it.

[Other plays agree enthusiastically]

[Piano and Guitar join in]

Ali(singing): Well Randy, Raz’ul and I set out for Lakeridge.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): Yes, we did.

Ali(singing): And what we found was Bradward’s Bowl.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): The ol’ Punch Bowl.

Ali(singing): We fought the Trio of Chairs down in the basement.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): And broke the rules.

Ali(singing): I threw a pig and made a goal.

Goodrich(singing): Piggy, pig.

Ali and Goodrich(singing): Then Wesley came along, and said he liked our song, and we rode out for Silk Grove in the ‘morn. He cut us off some string, from his spider’s booty scene and that’s when Chaos Sauce was born.

Ali(singing): Well Randy, Raz’ul and I killed us some spiders.

Goodrich & Spurrier(singing): Eight legged freaks.

Ali(singing): Dodging traps, up around the bend.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): CCR.

Ali(singing): Wesley reappeared and made us an offer.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): Lock us up.

Ali(singing): When we refused he called his friend.

Goodrich(singing): Ettercap.

Ali and Goodrich(singing): Faced with a deadly foe, our instruments a-glow, we rocked out a fatal jam. The ettercap was caught, mashed up and burned alot,

All(singing): and Wesley, Wesley, Wesley, Wesley, Wesley..

Ali(singing): Ran away.

Goodrich(singing): He bravely ran away.

Ali: Where you going Wesley? Oh, you’re leaving? Oh, alright.

Goodrich: He’s gone man, solid gone.

Ali: Get out of here, Wesley. Yeah he’s gone.

Spurrier: Byee!

Ali: Byee!

[Music fades]

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay, I seem to get the idea of what happened.

Kyle: As ya’ll were playing the song before she interrupts you, you notice that as you were going through, she actually started to watch above you after you got into the song. She kind of starts smiling at first when this happens and then as you all get closer towards the end of the song that’s when like the smile kind of goes from her face and she starts to like, frown and her brow furrows. That’s when she cuts ya’ll off and stops for a moment and sighs and kind of rubs her hands over her face in frustration.

Goodrich: [laughs] Kind of a common theme at this school.

[All laugh]

Kyle: Yeah and she says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Mhm, Okay I see.

Kyle: And she turns and looks towards Symbol and she says,

Kyle(as Greenspire):[Angered] You do realize you’re responsible for the proper training of these students! I remind you of my hesitance in hiring you regardless of your musical talent. I don’t believe talent alone can make a good teacher and you will follow the guidelines provided by the school or we cannot employ you further.

Kyle: And Symbol kind of sits forward and just says, ya know smugly he’s like,

Kyle(as Symbol): Heh, well I thought students were here to further their musical, magical abilities. Not waste time performing in nearby empty taverns.

Ali: Oh snap, what a burn!

Spurrier: Ooh!

Kyle: You here Alola slam her hand on the desk and says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Handing students the ability to weave ensemble magic before they understand it is how you get them killed!

Kyle: She grabs a packet on her desk and throws it at him.

Kyle(as Greenspire): You need to study the handbook while your students get settled. You may leave.

Kyle: And she gestures for him to leave, and he has this like “oh shit” look on his face. [someone laughs].

Goodrich: I bet we do too.

Kyle: Yeah, ya’ll are very shocked by how angry, I mean your first meeting and everything with Alola Greenspire. She’s like, tearing into- chewing up your teacher and everything. So, he kind of gets up and shuffles out and just says to ya’ll.

Kyle(as Symbol): I guess I will see ya’ll later.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul):[shocked] That’s it!?

Kyle(as Symbol): I will talk to you soon.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Seriously? We came all the way back to talk to you man. We played you a song, can you not just sit down with us and tell us what’s going on?

Kyle: The headmistress says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): I have dismissed him, I will talk with ya’ll and he needs to be better attuned with how things work here before we go further. So, it may be a few days before you hear from him but by all means, despite how frustrated I am with him I’d be glad to talk with ya’ll and answer any questions ya’ll have. It appears that your first experience- I must apologize for, it is rather unorthodox the way he went about things and I do have to ask for your discretion. I don’t know if ya’ll looked up but I see the image of what ya’ll did as ya’ll were playing. This level of magic is usually available to upper class students. So, I ask that you show some discretion in discussing anything with your current classmates, the people in the other teams that were brought into Strumlotts with you. The thing is, I don’t want them thinking that ya’ll are receiving preferential treatment. Which I assure you, you are not.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [laughs] Okay.

Ai(as Yashee): Could have fooled me.

[someone laughs]

Kyle(as Greenspire): Again, there are certain guidelines that Symbol is supposed to follow. This being his first year here I have a feeling he didn’t read that handbook when we first sent it to him when he applied. Now he has to take the time to do so.

Goodrich: I should also mention, I’m still a mule.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: No I’m not.

Ali: Playing a guitar with your hooves.

Goodrich: My hoooves! But-

Kyle: What are thoooose!

[All laugh]

Goodrich: But no, I transformed out so I’m not freaking everyone out. A guitar playing mule, that’d be craazy right? Anywho.

Kyle: Alright yeah, she says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Are there any questions that ya’ll have that I can answer? Anything about what happened on your journey? Lemme ask, did Symbol at least provide you with an ira glass? So that you could contact him?

Ali(as Yashee): Yeah we each have one of those.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay-

Goodrich: I turn to Randy and I say.

Goodrich(as Raz’u)l: Huh. Randy. Would you say we have a plethora of questions maybe? Cause yeah. I think we maybe. Do. Have just. A few. Questions.

Ali(as Yashee): Just a few.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): About what's going on.

Spurrier(as Randy): Just a few, just a few.

Kyle(as Greenspire): I’m going to infer from your song that ya’ll were at some point in mortal danger?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah.

[Other players agree]

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I would say, a few times.

Kyle(as Greenspire): And this next one is going to get a little bit personal, if you need a moment to think about it that’s understandable but..what is it you hope to get out of Strumlotts?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Well..

Ali(as Yashee): I mean..for me it’s kind of about you know, trying to get really good at more than one skill. I was kind of raised as a fighting barbarian and I just wanna show my family and my parents that I can be good at multiple things and I can, you know. I can kind of combine those things to become better overall, I guess is what I’m going for.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Yashee Bordun, okay..so you..you’re showing to your parents, okay..

Kyle: She’s writing his stuff down, you know just kind of like in a file as she’s going through talking to ya’ll. She stops and she’s like,

Kyle(as Greenspire): That name sounds so familiar, I can’t place it..well regardless, okay. So, you’re looking to hone another skill and be a little bit more diverse. That’s good, that’s admirable. Who’s..Randy? Raz’ul?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): So, from where I’m from...ya know, being a dwarf. It’s mostly hammers and axes and mining the moutain, making stuff..but, there was this axe. Which is the axe I have now, Axe Usumptin, that I’ve always liked and when I was little I’d go and look at it and it felt like it was singing to me. I always wondered why, I didn’t know really about what was going on but I wanted to make an axe like that and I kind of made that my goal when I was little learning how to smith and everything, why I was never good enough to make something like Usumptin.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay..

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): So, I really wanna help my clan out and I wanna figure out how to make these axes so that we can all have these axes and when I got here it’s awesome, cause whenever I use it, my voices changes I feel like I'm in tune with it. I just, I really would like to figure out how to make more of these and so, yeah, I kind of, took the axe on loan. From the Oodalolly clan..

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay..

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): To..figure out its properties..

Kyle(as Greenspire): My concern at this point knowing that is...am I going to find anybody from the Oodalolly clan trying to knock down my door locating you for that axe?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Nope! Nope. We’re good, they uh..ya know..

Kyle: Roll me a deception check.

[All laugh]

Goodrich: Yeah, okay. Hang on let get my character sheet out here. [sighs] Oh boy! Big roll, where’s deception?

Spurrier: Or charisma.

Goodrich: Okay, well at least I have a plus two. Come oon..[rolls dice] Damnit..really, seriously! All those other rolls! [someone laughs] Like..[groans] I got a three plus two, five.

Kyle: She looks at you and just like nods and continues writing.

Goodrich: [sighs] Yeah! So I just look at her back, shifty eyed like “Yeaah.” So anyways,

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I kind of wound up in the forest, but I never forgot about my true quest kind of to figure out this axe but- I could go on but I’m sure you understand.

Kyle(as Greenspire): It seems like you have many roads that you want to walk down and you’re not sure as to which path to follow.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I guess you could really say is how many roads must a dwarf walk down.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Before you..

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Can call myself a dwarf. If you really boil it down for Raz’ul Daz’ul’son.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay, alright well-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Don’t worry that’s-

All(singing): Ramble, RAMBLE, Ramble, RAMBLE, Ramble!

Kyle(singing): Is his game!

Spurrier: There you go, yes!

Kyle: Okay so she kind of nods and she’s like,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Interesting, I appreciate your honestly.

[someone laughs]

Kyle: And she looks to Randy and is like,

Kyle(as Greenspire): And what about you Randy?

Spurrier(as Randy): I can’t..I can’t say a lot. For safety sake. For my family's sake.

Kyle(as Greenspire: Okay.

Spurrier(as Randy): All I can say is, I went down a path- to become this rogue it wasn’t my intended path, and to honor my family and, the most I'll say is maybe avenge..That’s too strong a word.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Vengeance is a hard thing to get your head around.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yeah, that’s too strong but music was my original destiny and I had that stolen from me. I can’t say a whole lot more than that, but I feel it’s the path my family wanted me to be on.

Kyle(as Greenspire): So, you want to reclaim something that was taken from you. Not necessarily an item but maybe a life path.

Spurrier(as Randy): Yes.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Okay, I think we did a good job pairing all of ya’ll together. Seems like ya’ll are really on at least a similar wave length as far as what you want to do- I mean granted it’s all its own little, its own little section you know. Like ya’ll are all under the same umbrella. Finding different paths, finding ways to prove yourselves and then reclaiming something. That’s why we have our grouping process the way it is, I think this one has worked out really well. I’m excited to meet with the other ones. Hopefully not in such a manner as ya’ll experienced. Again, I apologize about the unorthodox way in which your first week of schooling has happened.

Spurrier(as Randy): It was certainly exciting, I’ll say that much.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hopefully we’ll get a good grade.

Kyle(as Greenspire): I’m sure you will, of course you’ll need to go ahead and if you haven’t written down in your journals for submission you’ll need to do that. I imagine a comfortable place to do that would be your dorm room. Did ya’ll know you had one of those?

Ali(as Yashee): We didn’t really get the opportunity to-

Goodrich: Hopefully they’re co-ed.

Ali(as Yashee): We dropped our stuff off and left.

Kyle(as Greenspire): I didn’t think so, you get grouped with your- ya'll will be sharing a dorm together.

Kyle: And she grabs an envelope and puts it on the table and slides it over and she’s like,

Kyle(as Greenspire): Here’s your keys and a map to your dorms.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Is our RA cool?

Kyle(as Greenspire): No, there are no RA’s here unless you’re talking about a flat two.

[Someone laughs]

Goodrich: Wow! That is a deep musician joke right there!

[Someone laughs]

Goodrich: Solfege it up, if you’re interested.

Kyle: Sorry, well she says,

Kyle(as Greenspire): I have matters to attended to, so here is your envelope with your key and map. Three keys, one for each of you so by all means go get settled in and you’ll be hearing from Symbol with your next assignment.

Spurrier: And after we walk out Randy just pokes his head back in, and what’s the headmistresses name?

Kyle: Alola Greenspire.

Spurrier(as Randy): Headmistress Greenspire.

Kyle(as Greenspire): Yes, Randy?

Spurrier(as Randy): Since you do have to deal with Symbol anyways, just wanted to pass on the word he is requesting to go by Splash now.

Spurrier: And I pop out.

Kyle: Eh- okay, and you hear here say,

Kyle(as Greenspire):[hesitantly] Alright..

Kyle: As you close the door and leave.

[All laugh]

Spurrier: Perfect.

[Theme song plays]

-Transcript done by: Gabi