Ep. 34 – Everyone Plays Apart
Goodrich and Spurrier: [singing] Na na na na na na na na nommmm.
Ali: [singing] That stanky chow.
Goodrich: Jeez.
[all laugh]
[bomBARDed theme song plays]
Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to bomBARDed. Let me recap last episode real quick. So, you three, shut your mouths!
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh my god, we didn’t even say anything!
[Ali giggles]
Kyle: Yeah, but you did now, so shut your mouth.
Goodrich: Ahhhhhhhh!
Ali: Oh.
Kyle: So last time-
Goodrich: Sorry, listeners, you couldn't hear what was going on before we hit record.
[all chuckle]
[song from Vol 1 OST, “Let’s Recap” begins]
Kyle: Our bards began the episode searching around the workshop a little bit. They located the pymaricin spray and started getting the items together. And then, uh, they- they called up Tabitha. I can't remember if you guys called up Tabitha er- she didn't call you. That wouldn’t have happened-
Ali: No. We called her.
Kyle: You- you called her-
Goodrich: We called her maybe.
Kyle: Yeah, and-
Ali: ‘Cause somebody's NPC didn’t remember to…
[Kyle chuckles]
Goodrich: Right. [laughs]
Kyle: ‘Cause what?
Ali: Never mind. [Goodrich laughs] Your joke was better, I wasn’t listening.
Goodrich: Well-
Ali: It’s fine.
Goodrich: -sooooorry!
Ali: Say your joke-
Kyle: It’s all good.
Ali: -again. I’ll laugh.
[all laugh]
Kyle: So- [more laughing] -but uh, but uh, no, you got a call from Tabitha and she was just like, “blah blah blah you're in the workshop, like uh, there's a secret door and check it out and you can help me out!” You found the secret door. You went into this random greenhouse, like jungle-esque, overgrown greenhouse.
Goodrich: I gotta say Kyle…
Kyle: What?
Goodrich: With all this like foliage and plants that you’re putting in the story.
Kyle: Mmhm?
Goodrich: [singing a la “A Natural Woman”] You make me feel like a natural druid!
Ali and Spurrier: [singing] Druid!
Kyle: Yes. I'm trying- you know-
Goodrich: Yeah. No, I just- I appreciate it, thank you.
Ali: I will say I was very nervous in that room. I’m like, what am I gonna do wrong this time, man.
[all laugh]
Kyle: How can Yashee mess this up again?
Goodrich: Ah, yeah, for real.
Ali: We worked it out-
Kyle: Nah. You didn’t mess up anything.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: But uh, you went in there and you encountered some plants that uh, that got the drop on ya a little bit. They were just a small inconvenience to you getting to where Tabitha was. And you did eventually get to where Tabitha was and you saw that she was fighting this large, gigantic mound of just shambling vines and overgrowth and ferns and what-not all coalesced into a large creature. And of course, inside that creature was resting Kage, unconscious, obviously bitten by whatever is going around the school.
Goodrich: Mmhm.
Kyle: And a message sent by Yashee to Tabitha was about, “Oh! What can we do?” And Tabitha was just like-
[Goodrich giggles]
Ali: Are you making fun of me?
Kyle: -“Get- get-“ [all laugh] I’m not making fun of you!
Ali: Ooh ooh ooh!
Goodrich: That’s his best Yashee impression-
Kyle: That’s my best Yashee impersonation-
Ali: Well, thank you.
Goodrich: That’s his job!
Ali: Yeah, that is exactly what I sound like.
Kyle: And she was like, “Yeah, help me- help me get Kage out of that big ol’ creature. And you guys played a song and enticed it with some- something else to eat.
Goodrich: Mmm.
Kyle: ‘Cause after Raz’ul had spoke to a little bit with his speaking to plant abilities, he, you know, you learned that it was like hungry. It was made to consume. So you offered it a treat that it just couldn't turn down. A nice big fat sack of fertilizer.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yea ha!
Spurrier: Poo poopourri!
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Poo poopourri!
Kyle: Yeah, for reals.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: Some real, poo poopourri. Um, and it was like, “Yeah I'm down,” dropped Kage, and went over to it. And then got really mad that it found out it was an illusion.
Goodrich: Probably what Splash looks like when he finds out snacks are an illusion. You know those- like those Snickers commercials were they’re like-
Kyle: [chuckling] Ohh…
Goodrich: -“Oh, you’re just not yourself!” Splash was like, “I know! I need Snickers!” Here, have a fantasy Snickers. Better?
Kyle: Yeah, secretly Splash all along.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: [chuckles] No. But in that moment, Tabitha was trying to pull away Kage over to where you three were. And Yashee went and gave her a hand. And you guys 22 skidoo-ed-
Goodrich: Yep.
Kyle: -right out of there. Whatever, 24 skidoo? Whatever the number is.
Goodrich: Uh it’s twenty-
Spurrier: Natural twents-skidoo?
Kyle: Natural twents-skidoo! Spurrier got it.
Spurrier: Yes!
Kyle: So you made it out of there just in the nick of time with this large hulking shambling mound bearing down on you. It was held up by those same plants that caused you a little bit of grief on the way in.
Goodrich: Yep.
Kyle: But you were able to escape thanks to their inconvenient manners.
Goodrich: Yep.
Kyle: So.
[players laugh]
Kyle: You uh-
Goodrich: Indeed.
Kyle: -you close the door, got everything prepped. Tabitha grabbed a- a picture off of the workbench of Kage’s. And y'all got Kage and the pymaricin spray pretty much settled into a wheelbarrow.
Goodrich: Yup.
Kyle: Made your way through the school. Got back to the dorm areas where you noticed somebody was riding the elevator up. You're not sure who, all you saw were boots.
Goodrich: Well-
Kyle: -and barely that at all.
Goodrich: -since like I'm noticing Glamour things, would like Raz’ul have noticed them to be Splash’s boots? ‘Cause I imagine Raz’ul’s taken note of Splash’s wardrobe trying to be all glam like Splash after seeing him do his little Mantle?
Kyle: Yeah, maybe.
Goodrich: Can I roll for it, real quick?
Kyle: No. [players laugh] I'm gonna say you're not really sure it was- it was such a- such a quick glimpse it doesn't matter.
Goodrich: Oh! I did get a fifteen plus five though.
Kyle: No you didn’t. You didn’t get anything! So you made your way on because this was- whatever took the elevator up was drawing the attention of the infected students. You were able to make your way back further- passed by a classroom that had a single individual in there that was infected. They had bordered the room off and secured it so… And you noticed that there was a shimmering kind of ooze near the vents of one of th- on one of the walls that kind of stood out to you as odd.
Spurrier: Mmhm.
Kyle: As you made your way further, you reached a cross-section where you could heard- hear down the hallway towards the cafeteria, the sound of somebody crying for help, potentially Alto Brown. You're not quite certain but it sounds very similar to Alto Brown-
Goodrich: [giggling] Okay! [players laugh]
Kyle: And we’re at this moment where you've decided to split the party. Yashee and Tabitha are gonna be taking the pymaricin spray and Kage back to the offices. And Randy and Raz’ul are gonna be going down and seeing if they can help out whoever is in the cafeteria. And we are picking up here as we are splitting off and I wanna start with Yashee and Tabitha.
[recap background music ends]
Goodrich: That was the right decision, right? ‘Cause I feel like Tabitha- they wanna make sure she's good and you have the wheelbarrow, so…
Ali: Yeah and my dad's there so I want to get back.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: Understandable. Okay. So, [background music starts: “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. II”] Yashee and Tabitha you're heading back to the- I'm saying Tabitha like there's a player sitting here-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: I was about to say! Why are you looking-? [laughs]
Kyle: Oh well! So you and Tabitha are heading back to the offices with Kage and the pymaricin spray-
Ali: Yep!
Kyle: -in tow. Um, you round a corner and you can see that there are small group of infected students and this is probably about one intersection away from the offices.
Goodrich: Pass Without Trace-
Ali: Oh, we don’t-
Goodrich: -is still going though!
Ali: Well… is it?
Kyle: No, ‘cause they are out of 30 feet of you.
Ali: Yeah.
Goodrich: Ohhhhh!!
Kyle: So…
Ali: We’re on our own.
Goodrich: Ah, jeez.
Spurrier: Bum bum bum!
Ali: Yeah. How many are there?
Kyle: I'd probably say there are four.
Ali: Um, while we've got the- Tabitha has the backpack with spray right? Ready to go.
Kyle: Mmhm. She looks at you and gives you an understanding glare and pats the container on her back. [Goodrich chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): Alright, go- go for it.
Kyle: And she says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): [deep inhale] Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Can you- you think you can get all four of them at once?
Kyle (as Tabitha): I don't think I can get all four of them, but if I stand in the wheelbarrow on- on top of Kage and the pymaricin spray, I could at least spray one while you barrow through them.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, maybe we could just throw something over them and like distract them? That way they won’t see us coming.
Kyle (as Tabitha): We can try that.
Ali: Alright, so I'm gonna dig through my pockets and I go-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh!
Ali: I pull out a spoon. [players laugh] I’m like-
Ali (as Yashee): Ooh, this’ll work perfect. It's nice and heavy. It has a nice weight behind it. It’ll make a beautiful sound. Okay, alright.
[all laugh]
Kyle: And she's kind of- Tabitha's kind of looking at you as you’re- it seems like you're talking to yourself about it. [players laugh] And she's just kind of like-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay. Sure, Yashee.
Ali: Alright. So I'll take aim and, uh, give it a good chunkin’ over their heads.
Kyle: Okay. Roll me a d20 and just add that dexterity.
Goodrich: It's too bad Yashee literally lost her marbles!
Ali: Ah ha!
Goodrich: Ohh!
Ali: Be something good. [die roll] That's a nineteen plus one plus JOAT. [Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: Yeah you- you chuck it- you're trying to throw it past them, right?
Ali: Yeah, I wanna- I wanna make them look the other way so that we can barrel and take them from behind.
Kyle: Perfect. Okay, yeah you do that, and it clangs and bounces on the floor, hits the wall, and lands again. And all of them kind of turn slowly and shuffle and start like shuffling towards the sound of the spoon clanging on the ground.
Ali: Sweet.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright, get on, let’s go!
Kyle: Okay, so for this, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna let you use- the wheelbarrow is essentially gonna be [background music fades out] the portable ram you can find in the Player’s Handbook. Um, and what that does is you'll give me a strength check and you can add a plus four bonus to that strength check on top of what you already add with your own strength and JOAT and…
Goodrich: Ooh.
Ali: Sweet.
Kyle: So-
Goodrich: And does she get to roll at advantage because they’re all facing away?
Kyle: Uh… yeah, yeah since they’re facing away-
[players make celebratory noises]
Kyle: -I'd give it advantage. You can, if another person's helping you with this-
Ali: Oh, okay.
Kyle: -then you can get advantage, but I think since they're facing away, they're totally caught off guard.
Ali: Alright great. So, strength check?
Kyle: Yes.
Ali: Okay. [die roll] So that is a ten plus five for me plus four with the-
Kyle: So, nineteen?
Ali: Nineteen.
Goodrich: So roll at advantage though!
Ali: Alright!
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: [singing] Dun duh duh, do it, do it!
Ali: Right, right. [die roll]
Goodrich: [singing] Come on and do it-
Ali: Oh, it’s a two!
Goodrich: Woo!
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Okay yeah.
Ali: Right, so-
Kyle: So the ten stands.
Ali: So nineteen.
Kyle: Uh, yeah no you [background music starts] pick up speed and you’re, uh, wheelbarrowing down the hallway. And you catch two of them pretty square on. And just- they immediately fall prone. A third one is knocked to the side and they seem to be disoriented. And the fourth one is kind of knocked a little bit off kilter by the third one that bumped into them. And, uh, Tabitha quickly sprays those two that are- that are still standing. And you see them both kind of like recoil back and then slowly just lie on the ground-
Ali: Mmhm.
Kyle: -and like go back to a docile position. And then, uh, Tabitha says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Just move forward a little bit quicker and I- I can turn around spray the two on the ground.
Ali (as Yashee): No problem!
Kyle: And uh-
Goodrich: Yashee just does that sweet Akira slide with the wheelbarrow. [all chuckle] Like [imitating tire screech] eerrrrrr. [laughter]
Kyle: [chuckling] Yeah, yes. And, uh, yeah, you scoot forward a little bit and she hops off, goes over, and is able to spray them as they are trying to get up off the ground.
Ali: Yessss.
Kyle: Those two also just like they stop getting up and they kind of just slowly lie back down. And uh-
Ali: Great.
Kyle: -Tabitha’s just like, she’s kind of like-
Kyle (as Tabitha): [breathing heavily] I think we’re good. Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Nice job! Nice spraying!
Kyle (as Tabitha): Nice job you, with doing the- barreling through those! I mean, like I mean bodies are-
Ali (as Yashee): It was no problem. It was pretty easy.
Kyle (as Tabitha): You're so strong. Alright, yeah, let’s get going.
[Goodrich chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): Should we bring these people with us?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Uh… I'm not too concerned. Um, there are more pressing matters. We can help them out by getting back to the offices quicker than we can by transporting them.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright.
Kyle (as Tabitha): In my opinion.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, then, let’s go.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Goodrich: Man, I like business Tabitha.
Spurrier: She’s- yeah.
Goodrich: Get it done! Let’s go! Yeah.
Kyle: So, uh, you make your way back to the offices unhindered from here on out. And before we enter the offices, we're gonna jump over to Randy and Raz’ul.
[background music fades out]
Ali: Oh!
Kyle: And uh-
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Spurrier: Hello.
Kyle: -you are splitting ways [Goodrich chuckles] with Tabitha and Yashee. They head off around the corner and are gone. And you hear the sounds of somebody-
Kyle (as unknown faraway voice): Help!
Kyle: -from down in the cafeteria.
Goodrich: Okay, but we have Pass Without Trace, so we-
Kyle: You do!
Goodrich: -just follow the sounds.
Spurrier: Right. Do we need fresh stealth rolls, Kyle?
Kyle: Please.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: But- but- but whyyy??
Kyle: Because I'm telling you to.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: Yeah. Well normally from episode to episode, I wouldn’t, but since y’all split up I feel like yeah-
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: -you should.
Goodrich: [die roll] Alright, Lion got a twelve.
Kyle: Okay, so…
Goodrich: And for me. [die roll] Great and great. So, I got a four, so at advantage so fourteen. [chuckles]
Kyle: [laughing] Okay.
Spurrier: I'm up on the Lion too. Use some of that advantage… [die roll] Alright!
[“Oh yeah” chorus descends]
[all laugh]
Goodrich: That sounded really weird!
Spurrier: Well yeah. But anyways, that's a natural twent plus nine plus ten.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: Great! The highest stealth roll any of us could've ever-
Spurrier: Hooray!
[all chuckle]
Goodrich: So I guess if something happens, you just hide behind me-
Spurrier: They see the lion, but they see no halfling… on a lion… yeah. It's fine.
Goodrich: Great!
[background music starts: “Ep 34, Sneaking in the Kitchen”]
Kyle: Alright so Lion and you two on top-
Goodrich: You mean Weemo?
Kyle: Yeah, sure. [all laugh] That's not what you’ve been calling them the entire time but yeah, Weemo and our two shorter bards-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: Yes.
Kyle: -are making their way very stealthily, very very stealthily-
Spurrier: Mmhm.
Kyle: -to the cafeteria. And you get close to those double doors and you peer in and it's a pretty full cafeteria.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: There are a lot of infected students in here and they all seem to be crowding near the window where you would normally place orders.
Spurrier: Mmm.
Kyle: Uh, you do notice, of course, there's the access door back to the kitchen off to the left. And, uh, that is not as crowded, but that opening seems pretty bad and you can hear the voice coming through it. It's just saying-
Kyle (as unknown voice): Help! If anybody-! Please-! [panting] Get back!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, okay! Uh, hey Randy? I have a plan.
Spurrier (as Randy): Mmhmm?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, I was thinking I could use Gust. Uh, I have this spell that I have Gust- and jangle some… I don't know-
Goodrich: What's in the cafeteria that I could maybe possibly move with Gust?
Kyle: Uh, you know, of course, it's a cafeteria there's some things strewn about, such a half-eaten food and trays-
Goodrich: Plates and stuff?
Kyle: -and silverware. Yeah.
Goodrich: I just- targets them 30 feet away. That's over away from the door on the left so that we can make some noise?
Kyle: Ah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, if that is cool with you? I don’t know if you want to cast something to help out maybe?
Spurrier (as Randy): I mean, sure. Yea.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Just make a big ol’ ruckus?
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah! That’s always fun.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: So, I cast Gust on the plates and trays and stuff thirty feet away from the left- door on the left so we can sneak on over there.
Kyle: Okay, and Randy?
Spurrier: Uh, I guess over in the same area as Gust, I’m gonna cast Mage Hand and, uh, hopefully when Eddie comes out, the hand will be like a bad little cat. It's knocking stuff off of the table.
[all laugh]
Kyle: Okay, absolutely!
Goodrich: Maybe a bad tasty little cat so they're like, “Nom nom nom, eat the cat!”
Kyle: Nom nom, meow.
Goodrich: Nom nom, meow. Yeah.
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Okay, so is there any music things that need to be played?
Goodrich: No. Mine’s just-
Kyle: Invocations that need to be said?
Goodrich: Mine’s a druid spell. And it’s a cantrip.
Spurrier (as Randy): [distorted voice] Mage Hand!
Goodrich: And that’s his.
Kyle: [chuckling] There we go.
Spurrier: So, done!
Kyle: Okay, so yeah, Raz’ul, you cast a spell and a small gust of wind just erupts these platters and silverware and plates over thirty feet away from the door that you're trying to get to. And Randy, you send out your little- it's a cat paw-
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: -comes right out of your belly button and flies over and start swatting at some of these things that are going around and, you know, gets the other stuff that isn't affected by the Gust, starts knocking it on the ground. [players chuckle] And there's a large clattering and clanging and dishes hitting the ground, platters hitting the ground. And you start to see most of the infected students slowly turning and a large portion of them are starting to move in the area where all this noise is coming from. And you probably have a good minute where you could get through the access door unimpeded.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s- let’s go.
Spurrier (as Randy): Tally-ho, yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sneaky sneak.
Kyle: Okay, give me another stealth check.
Goodrich: Another one?
Kyle: Yes.
Goodrich: [die roll] What’s with you and these stealth checks…
Spurrier: It’s a new room!
Goodrich: Alright. Weemo got a fifteen. [die roll]
Kyle: Mmhm.
Goodrich: [chuckles] I got a freaking one. [die roll] And then fourteen.
Spurrier: [die roll] Uh, and for me, with advantage, five plus nine plus ten.
Kyle: Okay. [all chuckle] Alright.
Spurrier: Phew.
Goodrich: This is so great.
Kyle: Okay yeah, you're- you're able to sneak right over to the door and…
Goodrich: Push it open very very very carefully.
Kyle: Okay, you push it open very very carefully and it opens about halfway and you can see that there's some infected students inside the kitchen.
Goodrich: Ah boy.
Kyle: But the kitchen does open up and it goes a little bit further back and kind of in the corner, you see there's a- a left turn in the kitchen, that's just past your view. And you see like a bunch of pastry racks that are tilted over and blocking this entryway and you just hear-
Kyle (as unknown voice): Help! Sa- Is somebody there?
Goodrich: ‘Kay. This is like the- the raptors in the kitchen in Jurassic Park.
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Ding ding ding.
Goodrich: Yeah! Seriously!
Spurrier: Well, just really quick, before we start doing anything. Kyle, is there a lock on this access door like to lock out students that could be sneaking in and-
Kyle: Uh, yeah. Yeah.
Spurrier: Nicking food and all that.
Kyle: There’s a bolt and all that.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: They don’t want students like Yashee sneaking in there making midnight snacks all the time.
Kyle: Yeah, right.
Ali: Rude.
[all laugh]
Kyle: Not even here to defend herself.
Goodrich: No!
Ali: Actually not rude, fine.
Kyle: It- it's on point.
Goodrich: Truth.
[Ali chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay so-
Spurrier (as Randy): Alright, so let’s go in real quiet. Let’s lock the door so none of them fellers come in and see us.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright.
Spurrier (as Randy): And, uh, then let's make sure the streams don't cross.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, let’s go ahead and spray ‘em!
[Kyle laughs]
Goodrich: [laughs] Alright.
Kyle: Okay, so you move in and, uh, you close the door and lock it behind you so that nobody else can sneak on in. And, uh, not only does the kitchen have that left way where it's blocked up by pastry racks, but the kitchen opens out to the right, of course, because that's where the window is-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: -and you can see that there is a- a- among the three that you saw initially, there's about four more-
Goodrich: Oh my gosh.
Kyle: -scattered inside the kitchen and, uh, the three that you saw, of course, are up against the, uh, the pastry racks trying to get to whoever is back there-
Kyle (as unknown voice): Help! Is-? I heard the door close! [Goodrich chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, no he didn’t! Randy, don’t worry, we did it super stealthily.
Spurrier (as Randy): That’s right.
[players laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): It’s hush-hush.
Goodrich: Uh, okay, so there's four directly to the right of us?
Kyle: Uh, yeah there are four to the right of you, and of course, this room is just a big open room. Uh, you know, there’s counter space going all around it, but there's a long island in the middle-
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: -that kind of adds extra counter space.
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: Okay. So those four just kind of spread around the island?
Kyle: Yeah, they're kind of spread around there towards the far end and then yeah there's the three in front of the pastry racks that are trying to- trying to get further-
Spurrier: Okay.
Kyle: -into what’s back there.
Spurrier: So maybe… [background music fades out] Hmmmm… I guess, Kyle, could I get my Solid Snake on [all chuckle] and just kinda sneak up and spray ‘em, one after the other?
Goodrich: I know, I-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: I am feeling The Last of Us vibes in-
Spurrier: Or The Last of Us, that would work too, yeah!
Goodrich: It’s just when we’re right up behind him.
Spurrier: Um…
Kyle: I actually haven't played that game.
Spurrier: [laughing] Ooh!
Goodrich: [laughing] Ooh, Kyle! That’s-
Kyle: That’s what-
Goodrich: -awesome.
Kyle: -I’ve been worried about as I have been making this I'm just like, “Oh… okay.”
Goodrich: No, it's okay.
Kyle: Um-
Spurrier: So, in essence it could be kind of like a… attack, stealth, attack, stealth, attack, stealth kind of vibe?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: But- okay, maybe to save on rolls- [Goodrich chuckles] since like really the lowest I can roll [Kyle laughs] is a two plus nine plus ten, is that gonna beat…?
Kyle: Yeah, I guess since you have the Veil of Shadows, or the… uh-
Goodrich: Pass Without Trace.
Kyle: Pass Without Trace.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: Uh, yeah kind of makes it a moot point. [Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier: Okay, so I guess I can just [Goodrich and Spurrier laugh] attack then?
Kyle: [sighing] Yeah.
Goodrich: Alright.
Spurrier: And I guess would this be like, a ranged attack ‘cause it's-
Kyle: Yeah-
Spurrier: -like Super Soaker-esque thing-
Kyle: -yeah exactly.
Spurrier: Okay! Well, uh, [background music resumes] I'm gonna hop down off of the lion and just say-
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, you can follow along!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, we’ll follow behind you-
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -we’re your back up, don't worry about it.
Kyle: [snickering] Okay.
Spurrier: Alright, so head up to the first one.
Goodrich: [singing Mysterioso Pizzicato (The Villain’s Theme)] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dunnnn, duh duh duh dun.
Goodrich and Spurrier: Duh duh duh duh dun.
Spurrier: [die roll] Oh, that is a sixteen plus six.
Kyle: A sixteen is going to hit. Let me do my thing. [die roll] Alright. And, uh, this thing- you spray it in the face and you see it like look surprised and it turns and kind of just like starts to wither down onto the ground and slowly lies down and curls up.
Spurrier: Beautiful.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): One down, three to go.
Spurrier: Automatic stealth!
Goodrich: Alright, next one!
Spurrier: And again…
Goodrich: [singing Villain’s Theme] Dun, dun, dun, dun-
Goodrich and Spurrier: [singing] -dunnnn, duh duh duh dun.
[die roll]
Goodrich: Let me see if I can just learn that real quick.
Spurrier: That is a seven plus six.
Kyle: Seven plus six? That is going to hit as well. [die roll] And… [chuckles] nope. [Spurrier chuckles] Uh, this thing also responds in the same manner and is made docile by the pymaricin spray.
Spurrier: Fantastic.
Goodrich: Alright. Cool, so sneak on to the next one. So, here we go.
[guitar playing Villain’s Theme]
[all snickers]
Kyle: So, you sneak on up!
Goodrich: Alright, next one!
Spurrier: Yeah. And attack!
Kyle: And attack.
Spurrier: That is a four plus six?
Kyle: A four plus six is not going to hit.
Spurrier: Oh boy.
Kyle: But you let out the spray and the sound of your gun, [makes a sound like a duck quacking to imitate the gun misfiring] you know, goes and-
Goodrich: [laughing] Does it make that sound?! [makes a honking sound]
Kyle: -and uh, this thing turns and kind of faces you, and you see the purple start to erupt from its mouth.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Squirt it again, squirt it again!
Kyle: And… we’re gonna roll initiative as soon as we get back to y’all. Let’s-
Goodrich: Oh my god!
Kyle: -go back to Tabitha and Yashee.
[background music end]
[background music starts: “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. I”]
Kyle: You arrive back to the offices and you make it into the fortified area. And, of course, Nurse Odejoy is going around checking on the- on everyone. They all look fairly similar in the state.
Ali: Still unconscious?
Kyle: Still unconscious. Still feverish and sweaty and whatnot. Tabitha says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Nurse Odejoy, we- we’ve returned with the uh, with the pymaricin spray and, by the way, we didn’t lose people, they are trying to save somebody in the cafeteria. So-
Kyle: And Nurse Odejoy is just like-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Fantastic. Um, if you’ll just bring the pymaricin spray over here, I can start, uh, you know, doing what I need to do.
Kyle: And she starts busting out an herbalism kit. And it has a bunch of different, you know, beakers and science-y looking things and [Ali chuckles] she’s obviously gonna do something with this spray.
Goodrich: Hey uh- uh, I have to sneeze. [makes a sneezing noise while saying] Alola’s hair!
[Ali laughs]
Goodrich: Excuse me. Sorry, keep on going, Kyle, that’s-
Kyle: Tabitha’s kind of-
Goodrich: -excuse me.
Kyle: -uh, she’s kind of taking some things off. She’s setting down the- the canister and whatnot. Puts that down and double checks over her supplies and, you know, goes through her bag. And what are you doing, Yashee?
Ali: Um… I’m gonna go check on my dad real quick.
Kyle: Okay. You’re gonna go over and check on your dad-
Ali: Just kind of- I- it was so shocking to see him the first time, you know.
Kyle: Right. So, you go over and he still looks the same, uh, you know, still feverish, kind of like shifting a little bit, here and there. But doesn’t seem to respond to anything if you do anything. But you’re over there, checking out your dad, and, you know, of course, I imagine you look kind of worried. And Tabitha walks over and she says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): What’s- who is this here, Yashee? You look upset.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh yeah, this is actually my dad. Um-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Oh!
Ali (as Yashee): -he like, I guess, showed up to say hi or something. I’m not super sure.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Huh.
Ali (as Yashee): Maybe he’s coming to, you know, check on my- my learnings.
Kyle (as Tabitha): That’s nice.
Ali (as Yashee): Um, but it was a total surprise. So, I guess he just got like caught up in all this.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully, uh, Nurse Odejoy can ah… I’m sure- I’m sure we’ll be able to fix him up and get him- get him going fine. Uh, I’d- I’d love to meet him!
Ali (as Yashee): He is pretty cool!
[players chuckle]
Kyle (as Tabitha): Uh cool! Now that we’re back, um, what do you think about getting back out there and trying to get to the cafeteria to help out those boys.
Ali (as Yashee): Hmmm…
Kyle (as Tabitha): Uh, I know my team’s here but they’re not- I mean, they're not doing any good anyway so.
Ali (as Yashee): Um, well I don't know, they might be fine they're pretty capable little guys.
[Goodrich and Spurrier laugh]
Goodrich: Oh my gosh!
Kyle (as Tabitha): That's fine! I mean, we can definitely hold it down here. I understand, if you're worried about your father we can- we can wait for them to return and, uh, you know, make a plan of action from there.
Kyle: And, uh, as she’s saying that, Nurse Odejoy interrupts, she comes over- she’s like-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, if anybody is going to be making any plans of action, I think it should be towards eliminating this threat and finding out what exactly is causing this. Uh, if I'm going to make a cure, I certainly don't want to administer it if the chances of it reoccurring are at 100%.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, we did kinda come across this gigantic monster plant thing.
Kyle: And Nurse Odejoy kinda rolls her eyes and sighs and she's just like-
Goodrich: Kage, ugh!
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes, uh- [Spurrier snickers] -one of Kage’s pets, I imagine.
Kyle: And she kind of like looks down at him in the wheelbarrow and just-
Goodrich: [laughing] Scoffs!
Ali (as Yashee): I mean it was like trying to eat him, it was pretty weird.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes, uh, Kage likes to keep some odd company. But, yeah, I wouldn't know what to say about the large plant. Uh, I don't know how Kage tends his garden?
Goodrich: [snickers] If you know what I’m saying?
[all laugh]
Kyle: If you’re picking up what I’m putting down? Smelling what I’m stepping in?
Ali (as Yashee): I guess I'll just have to wait and see. You know, I bet those guys are doing like fine out there, but maybe we give ‘em five- five minutes or so?
Goodrich: Give ‘em about three rounds of combat?
[all laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): Eighteen seconds?
[all laugh again]
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay, yeah, we can absolutely, uh, you know, wait for them to return and, uh, formulate a plan of attack from there, if you'd like.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, I was just gonna like walk around for a second and see everybody that's like been affected and talk to some people that, you know, are still here with us-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): -awake?
Kyle (as Tabitha): It's just you, me, and-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh.
Kyle (as Tabitha): -the nurse.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, then I’ll just walk around and look at people-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Oh?
Ali (as Yashee): -passed out! [all laugh] I just want to see what they look like, you know, like they're asleep. It's always interesting to see-
Goodrich: Oh, yeah, Raz’ul’s the weird one, sure.
[all chuckle]
Goodrich: [imitating Yashee] I like to watch people sleep!
Ali: I’m trying to get to a special someone!
Goodrich: Right!
Ali: Shut up!
Kyle: And Tabitha is kind of… squinting at you and going-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Whatever you wanna do, I guess…
Kyle: And she slowly turns and goes back to her pack and starts checking through things and… [players chuckle] She kind of like looks over her shoulder at you a little odd and then goes back to doing her thing.
Goodrich: Yashee thinks to herself, [imitating Yashee] “Smooth!”
Ali: [chuckling] Yeah.
[all laugh]
Goodrich: [imitating Yashee] Real smooth!
Ali (as Yashee): They had no idea!
Goodrich: [imitating Yashee] No idea!
Ali: Alright, so I’m just gonna walk around like with my, you know, hands clasped behind my back whistling a little tune as I- [whistling] doo doo doo doo doo! Looking around.
Kyle: Mmkay.
Ali: Checking out who all is laying down.
Kyle: Alright-
Ali: Do I see anyone I know?
Kyle: -is there anybody you’re looking for in particular-
Ali: Oh-
Kyle: -you know everybody who’s in here. I said a bunch of students that you don't know and specifically the ones you do are Garreth, Ilda, Christina Blackblade, and Alola Greenspire.
Ali: Okay.
Kyle: Those are the people you recognize.
Ali: So, I’ll look for Alola-
Kyle: And your dad.
Ali: -in the crowd.
Kyle: And you find her. She’s there.
Goodrich: [snickers] There she is.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, Miss Greenspire, look at you now.
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Yashee draws her knife out!
Kyle: [imitating Yashee] You’re about to meet your end!
[all laugh]
Ali: Do I have any- [more laughter] I have- I have like a little pack of tools and stuff. Do I have anything I could like- you know- like a little scissors I could just [imitating snipping sounds] psh psh psh.
Kyle: Yeah there's probably scissors in your disguise kit.
Ali: Alright well I'm just gonna, you know, I'm gonna look back to see if, uh, Tabitha or Odejoy is looking at me.
Kyle: Okay give me a perception check.
Ali: [die roll] That's a eighteen plus two.
Kyle: Uh, you notice that Odejoy looks busy setting up some stuff, but she's not being very, you know, sly about obviously turning and keeping an eye on you every once in a while. Same with Tabitha, she’s obviously going back-and-forth between like making sure you two [players chuckle] haven't gotten bitten- she’s like constantly just watching her back. She seems more paranoid about it, but she is checking out and watching you.
Ali: Alright. Just gonna quietly kinda call out like-
Ali (as Yashee): [die roll] Oh, I'm just gonna come down here and look at her- her brooch. It’s very nice, oh. I wonder where she got that.
Ali: I take out the scissors and just-
Kyle: Give me a sleight of hand.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yeah, seriously!
Ali: -take the littlest piece. [Spurrier chuckles] Just a little piece.
Goodrich: It’s a treat watching you work, Yashee.
[all laugh]
Ali: [die roll] It’s a fourteen plus two.
Kyle: Fourteen plus two? Okay. So, uh… [Goodrich laughs] So you begin cutting the hair-
Goodrich: Cut-cut-cut-cutting your hair!
Kyle: -and you cut it and you get a piece of it and at the same time as you're able to pull it off, you hear Nurse Odejoy say-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Actually, step back from that- that one, real quick. Let me- I need to- I need to get something real quick.
Kyle: And she swabs the inside of Alola's mouth.
Goodrich: Uhh.
Kyle: Doesn’t seem like she noticed that you cut some hair, though.
Ali: Excellent.
Spurrier: Phew.
Kyle: Seems like she almost noticed but…
Ali: I'll comment on Greenspire’s pearly whites.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, it looks like she's really been flossing, very nicely done!
Kyle (as Odejoy): She- she does a good job, I guess. Yes, those are some good chompers.
Ali (as Yashee): Yep, well-
Goodrich: [imitating Odejoy] I’m- I’m not a dentist Yashee, but sure.
[all laugh]
Ali (as Yashee) I think I'm gonna keep on checking out these people. It’s, uh, interesting to see ‘em, you know, [Goodrich snickers] so innocent-looking.
Goodrich: Oh my gosh!
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes, everyone's very innocent when they’re asleep. [Goodrich and Spurrier laugh] I’m- I have work to do-
Goodrich: [laughing] Yes!
Kyle (as Odejoy): -I’m gonna let you do your thing, Yashee.
Ali (as Yashee): Hey-
Kyle (as Odejoy): -you are a-
Ali (as Yashee): -you know, you came over here!
Kyle (as Odejoy): Right…
Kyle: Turns and walks away and, uh, as you continue to mill around and check out the other students and people and faculty that are here, we’ll go back to the-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: Right, yeah!
[background music fades out]
Kyle: We are going to go back to the cafeteria where I made a mistake and I read the wrong stat block so you're pymaricin spray actually hits, [background music starts: “Ep 34, Sneaking in the Kitchen”] so all that purple stuff, uh, just rewinds back into its mouth [players laugh] and your spray actually just barely gets on its face.
Goodrich: Oh!
Spurrier: Oh, wonderful.
Kyle: And if it is [die roll] resilient enough, which it is nooot.
Spurrier: Hooray!
Goodrich: Nice!
Kyle: It- it does respond positively for you!
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: True, true.
Kyle: In the fact that it's just like, “nope!” Lie down and not an issue. So, no initiative.
Goodrich: Well, and also, real quick before, uh, we keep going. [background music fades out] Can I use that little riff as a Bardic Inspiration?
Kyle: You wanna do Bardic Inspiration?
[players laugh]
Goodrich: Oh my gosh.
Kyle: What?!
Goodrich: Yes. I know we don't do it a whole lot. [Kyle gasps] And that’s probably our bad but I was thinking-
Kyle: Please!
Goodrich: -because here it says that you can inspire others through stirring words or music, so I could just turn to Randy and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey Randy-
Kyle: You are in a kitchen, you could stir some words.
Ali: Oh!
Goodrich: Uh! Ah no, I’m just gonna play the thing so-
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: So I'll play it again for you, real quietly, all [plays The Villain’s Theme riff on guitar]. And I say-
[background music resumes]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Did- did you feel inspired by that, bud?
[Goodrich and Ali laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh.
Spurrier: It’s making my-
Goodrich: You just feel-
Spurrier: -hair stand up.
Goodrich: Oh!
Spurrier: Woo.
Goodrich: Oh, okay! So, you get one d6 to add to your rolls.
Spurrier: Oh! Well thanks, okay.
Kyle: Yes, which you can use on attack rolls, saving throws, and ability checks.
Goodrich: Huzzah!
Spurrier: Oh, perfect! Alright, cool.
Goodrich: So, let’s keep going.
Spurrier: Yes!
Kyle: So, there's still one left that's not part of the group of three near where-
Spurrier: Alright.
Kyle: -Alto Brown is.
Spurrier: Alright, well let’s take on this one and then we'll figure out what to do about the group of three.
Goodrich: Yes-
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: -I think I have an idea, so…
Spurrier: Alright.
Goodrich: -you know…
Spurrier: [sing-song] One more time, with the spray! [die roll]
Kyle: Spray ‘em.
Spurrier: That is a twelve plus six plus.
Kyle: That’s- yeah, that’ll hit. And, uh… [die roll] ooh, nope. Yeah, same response, uh, [Goodrich chuckles] of course-
Goodrich: What are you rolling over there?
Kyle: I- [Ali laughs] I’m rolling a little bit of a constitution check-
Spurrier: Oh.
Kyle: -just to see-
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: -if they're able to hold up to the spray. I mean, you know, it's probably- you know, just gotta see if they get a high roll.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: They usually don't. So yeah, it, uh, it responds in a- appropriately as the others have. And just kind of curls up and lies down on the ground in fetal position, and, uh, seems unconscious.
Goodrich: Okay, okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, hey, real quick. Back- back up. [background music fades out] Take- take a moment here.
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So. [background music starts: “Ep 34, The Lion’s Eyes” 29:20] I was thinking, to get rid of these three-
Goodrich: -since I don’t know how long these rolls are gonna keep looking this good but-
Spurrier: Uh huh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -we got Weemo here, right?
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh.
Goodrich: Pat Weemo on the side.
[Kyle makes a lion purring sound]
Goodrich: Alright.
[players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Um, what I was thinking is, I could have Weemo distract them-
Spurrier (as Randy): Mmhm.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -we could unlock the door and Weemo could run out the door and maybe they will follow Weemo-
Spurrier (as Randy): Ohhhhh…
Goodrich: And to make sure Weemo’s okay, I could use Beast Sense and see everything through Weemo's eyes and maybe see…
Spurrier: Go for the ride of your life!
Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah, pretty much!
Spurrier: Alright.
Goodrich: Sooo… I guess let's go hide behind the far end of the-
Kyle: Yeah?
Goodrich: -island?
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: Yeah, there's- there’s a little thing you can open up and hide inside-
Goodrich: Just like in Jurassic Park?
[all laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, and it’s like you can see the reflection.
Goodrich: Okay, cool.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, let's do that.
Spurrier (Randy): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hide inside here, little guys.
Goodrich: Um, does Weemo try to get in to? Like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No, no. No, buddy.
Kyle: Yeah. Well, Weemo’s following you, of course-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: -you’re riding on Weemo, aren’t you?
Goodrich: Okay. Yeah-
Kyle: -yeah.
Goodrich: I turn to Weemo, I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Hey, hey buddy? Alright, I’ve got a big job for you, but don't worry, I'll be with you the whole time.
Goodrich: Wink? I don’t- I don’t know-
Kyle: He winks.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Weemo winks at you.
Goodrich: Cool. So… and I tell Weemo the plan, like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, then go over there and get their attention, and then we’ll open the door for you. Then you run out buddy, okay? And I've got a little Beast Sense spell I’m gonna do so I’ll be right there with you, alright?
Goodrich: And I don't think I can tell Weemo what to do like while I'm in Beast Sense mode and-
Kyle: Right.
Goodrich: -they’re moving around. So, I guess as far as an end goal… Weemo will eventually run out of my little range, right?
Kyle: Yes.
Goodrich: So, and then… So, I guess I’ll say to Weemo-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, Weemo, just keep running, maybe like, run outside and hide in a tree or something?
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Go until you feel safe. And, you know, we'll just see what happens, okay, bud?
[Kyle makes purring noises]
[Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich: Uh… I have to touch Weemo. So I touch Weemo.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: I give him little pets before he goes.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, here.
[Kyle makes some more purring sounds]
Goodrich: And I guess-
[Kyle purrs]
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yea. I guess Weemo’s willing? It says a willing beast, so…
Kyle: Mmhm.
Goodrich: Okay. And I close my eyes and I am now seeing through Weemo.
Kyle: You see yourself with your hand outstretched and in the mane of, uh, Weemo. But your eyes are closed and you're kind of like, you know, your jaw’s a little slacked.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yeah.
Kyle: And then you just kind of like f- fall back [background music stops] into the place that you're hiding and you’re just bodies resting. And you're like, “Okay, good.”
Goodrich: Okay, and I'm pretty much not aware of my surroundings now, Randy.
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: ‘Kay.
Goodrich: Uh, cool. So, Weemo goes up to… what does Weemo need to do…?
Kyle: I will tell you what Weemo does, but I need to know how are you opening the door?
Spurrier: How far away are we from the door?
Kyle: Ah, thirty feet.
Spurrier: Okay, then I can Mage Hand that.
Kyle: Ah!
Goodrich: Cool.
Spurrier: So, I’ve- I’d like to Mage Hand that please, Kyle.
Goodrich: [laughs] Yes!
Kyle: Yes, you summon your Mage Hand.
[background music starts: “Ep 34, The Lion’s Eyes”32:08]
Spurrier (as Randy): [quiet, distorted voice] Mage Hand!
[Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: Oh, nice and quiet, too!
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: I like it.
Spurrier: Gotta be hiding. So yeah, send it out, and, uh, I guess it's sleight of hand to do the lock pick? Or is it just-
Kyle: Ah, no. I’m not gonna-
Spurrier: Oh!
Kyle: I mean, you locked it from the inside using a locking mechanism-
Spurrier: Oh, I can use Mage Hand to- okay.
Kyle: -so, yeah, you’ll be able to do it. So, yeah, you send your Mage Hand out to unlock the door and have it ready for Weemo to be able to exit out at a moment’s notice. Raz’ul you're looking through Weemo’s eyes and Weemo is approaching the back of these three, slowly but surely, just paw by paw, you know, how a cat kind of-
Goodrich: Right, yeah.
Kyle: -stalks its prey. And then right before it gets to it, it lunges forward, jumps on the back of one, then jumps off the back of it towards the door, and bolts and like jumps again to push its paws onto the door, pushing the door open. It swings open, makes a loud slam, and Weemo’s bolting out the door. You see it look to the left and see all of the infected students looking at it and then it kind of turns and goes out of the cafeteria. The three that were by the, uh, pastry racks near Alto Brown, after being like kind of pushed forward they kind of collect themselves and start following afterwards. I- y’all don't really see that, but that's what happens. Weemo’s looking back and you can tell through Weemo’s eyes that, yes, it successfully attracted their attention.
Goodrich: Ah!
Kyle: -and those three are following after it, um…
Goodrich: Do I need to roll anything?
Kyle: No. You’re good.
Goodrich: Awesome. [Spurrier snickers] Wow, great! So I just- I guess Weemo will keep going through the hallway-?
Kyle: Yeah, Weemo- I mean, when do you want to break your Beast Sense?
Goodrich: I- I guess I’ll watch for a little bit longer. [chuckles]
Kyle: Okay. You watch a little bit longer-
Goodrich: Exposit for me, Kyle! [Spurrier and Goodrich chuckle]
Kyle: Yeah. Weemo is continuing through the hallways and after he gets out of the kitchen, it kind of slow down a little bit and looks back. Um, and it slowly but surely makes its way. And you can tell it seems like Weemo is in a good position.
Goodrich: Okay, I'll go ahead and- I can't bear to watch Weemo just go away, so yeah. I’ll break the Beast Sense and say-
Spurrier: And as you break it, I- you see me- I'm holding a pen up and I'm about to be drawing something on your face.
[all burst out laughing]
Spurrier: But you caught me.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh. Hey- hey get off me! What are you doing?
Spurrier (as Randy): Sorry.
[Ali laughs]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Did you- you should pro- probably use that attention to get that Mage Hand to close the door, champ.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh sure.
[Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier: I do that.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Okay. You do close the door and… [background music stops] you're- you're still [background music starts: “Ep 34, Sneaking in the Kitchen”] hiding in the area, so the Mage Hand- you do hear the door close. And you hear Alto, say like-
Kyle (as Alto Brown): Who? Where? Where did? Who's there?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. Uh, hey, Alto!
Goodrich: Uh, open up the door. Eugh! And I guess everything's good? No one’s in there except us and Alto?
Kyle: Yeah. You do notice, uh, you can see through the serving window of the kitchen, you can see that a good portion of the students are looking towards the exit where Weemo went out and a good portion are looking towards the window where Weemo came from.
Goodrich: Right…
Kyle: So, I mean there's still a good portion of the infected students in the cafeteria.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: That you're gonna have to deal with potentially.
Goodrich: Gotcha.
Kyle: But at least the three that were in the kitchen got, uh, enticed out.
Goodrich: Cool.
Spurrier (as Randy): Hi there.
[all laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): Alto.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey Alto. Uh, Raz’ul? Raz’ul and this-
Kyle (as Alto): Right…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -is Randy.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Kyle (as Alto): Yes, okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): We’re Splash’s students.
Kyle (as Alto): Who?
Spurrier (as Randy): Symbol. Sorry.
Kyle (as Alto): Ah!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Kyle (as Alto): Okay, yeah! Uh, well. [coughs] Well, well, you know, if- if- everything's good to go then [Goodrich laughs] now, uh- uh. Perhaps you can help me get to a little bit more of a safer location, yes?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah uh…
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah um…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Here we go!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bop-a-doo. Got a plan. Totally. Hey, give us just one second there, uh, Alto. Just got to talk with Randy about a plan I was maybe thinking of…
Kyle (as Alto): Okay, uh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bop-a-doo…
Kyle (as Alto): -if you want to move a couple of those pastry racks, it’d be a little bit easier for me-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh! Oh, yea, yea, yea.
Kyle (as Alto): -to get out of- out of here.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yea, sure. Here we go.
Goodrich: I got to do the- roll the pastry- the-
Spurrier: The pastry check!
Goodrich: [die roll] Oh, eleven.
Kyle: Eleven on a pastry check?
Spurrier: I got a two.
Kyle: Two on a pastry check? Well, ya know…
Goodrich: So I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey Randy, you got that other side, right? [Spurrier chuckles] You’re gonna help me out buddy? Oh, no no no! Ka-boosh.
Kyle: Yeah, it falls over and makes a loud clattering but you eventually, you know, get it to where- Alto’s like-
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh dear.
Kyle (as Alto): Okay! I- please be careful! [Goodrich chuckles] I only get so much in my budget per year-
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, yeah.
Kyle (as Alto): to buy these things and if they get damaged well… Uh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [chuckling] Yeah-
Kyle (as Alto): What was your plan? You said give you a second to formulate-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, yeah, here.
Kyle (as Alto): -something?
Goodrich: I give him, you know, a space blanket. He's probably in shock.
Kyle: Space blanket. Yes.
Goodrich: [laughing] I don’t know.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, Randy, here- come here real quick.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh?
[background music fades out]
Goodrich: Uh, Kyle, does three-way calling work on the Ira Glasses?
Kyle: [laughing] No!
Goodrich: [laughing] Okay, just had to ask. So-
Kyle: I want to do a conference call on my basic magic item please!
[players chuckle]
Goodrich: Alright, alright, settle down! [all laugh] So, um, can I search the other students that are down- I assume they probably have Ira Glasses, right?
Kyle: That’s a pretty good assumption.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: If you want to give me an investigation check.
Goodrich: Sure. [die roll]
Kyle: Should be an easy one to get.
Goodrich: Yes, so sixteen plus jack of all trades or JOAT!
Kyle: Oh yeah. You easily find an Ira Glass in the nearest student’s side pocket.
Goodrich: Okay. [background music starts: “Ep 33, Hair Harvest”] So I turn to you, Randy.
Spurrier (as Randy): Mmhm?
Goodrich: And I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright check this out, Randy. I have an idea to get those infected students’ attention out there. So, stick with me. Here we go.
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, we call up Yashee on your Ira Glass.
Spurrier (as Randy): ‘Kay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): ‘Kay.
Spurrier (as Randy): Good.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Then on this random Ira Glass-
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -we call my Ira Glass.
Spurrier (as Randy): ‘Kay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right, so then we have Yashee play drums on her Ira Glass that we hear through your Ira Glass.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Then while my Ira Glass is being called by this random student’s Ira Glass, we then take this Ira Glass, this random student’s Ira Glass-
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -which can now hear everything that's going on in the kitchen. Which would be you and me playing and Yashee playing through her Ira Glass.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We then roll it out into the other students.
Goodrich: ‘Cause he- you said it’s like a cylinder right?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: It's like a- kind of like a guitar sl-
Kyle: Yeah-
Goodrich: -ide?
Kyle: Yeah, it’s like a glass slide for a guitarist.
Goodrich: Heck yes! That's exactly-
Kyle: Yeah-
Goodrich: -that’s exactly-
Kyle: -that’s how I always pictured it.
Goodrich: Me too. Perfect!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, Randy?
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It's kind of like a guitar slide.
Spurrier (as Randy): Ah, well.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I actually use it as a guitar slide when I'm in my room by myself practicing. [snickers]
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, isn’t that too much information.
[Ali giggles]
Goodrich: [die roll] Agh I rolled a nine deception so…
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Anyhoo-
Kyle: Yes, in my room, playing my instrument!
[laughter]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, alright, alright! So, then we roll- [all laugh] we roll this random student’s Ira Glass out there.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It acts kind of- as like a sound grenade of sorts…
Spurrier (as Randy): Cool.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): And the song that we do – magically inspired song – could maybe attract their attention.
Spurrier (as Randy): Ahhh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): And plus, you know, normally we could just use Pass Without Trace, but I had to do that whole Beast Sense business.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh! And it stopped.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): But this seems maybe more… fun?
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh huh and there's more of us and stuff and-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah…
Spurrier (as Randy): -kinda get this class action- not class action. Oh dear.
[all laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): This, I don’t know-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What?
Spurrier (as Randy): -this high profile chef right-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Get him out of here.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. So, Alto, what do you think? You maybe want to jump in? Possibly?
Kyle (as Alto): I heard “sound grenade?” I don't know what you're planning but whatever gets me out of here.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That’s a pretty good band name though, if you think about it, right?
Kyle: It is a good band name, you’re right.
Goodrich: Actually, maybe Chaos Sauce-
Kyle: Dibs.
Goodrich: -featuring- oh?
[Kyle and Goodrich laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I was thinking maybe, Chaos Sauce featuring Alto Brown and perhaps Tabitha on the other line could be called Sound Grenade, well, possibly?
Kyle (as Alto): Oh. Oh, no no. I'll leave the performing up to you.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. Okay, cool. ‘Cause, you know, you're just like the coolest ever and also really good, I was thinking-
Kyle (as Alto): Thank you, I appreciate that.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle (as Alto): I perform with knives.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] Right. Oh, yea yea yea!
Kyle (as Alto): I mean much like maybe Randy you do, you-
Spurrier (as Randy): True, true.
Kyle (as Alto): -you know.
Kyle: And he eyes like your blades and what not. [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, you can tap them on the floor- it doesn't matter! We’ll take care of it.
Goodrich: So…. okay…?
Kyle: Okay, [background music fades out] this is the most buck wild thing I think y’all have tried, um…
Goodrich: I mean, basically we can't lose ‘cause as long as it’s just us making sound rolling across the floor, it kind of works? Right? Er… the magic? Hey, Kyle how's it going over there?
[players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: No, I mean part of the magic could be that we’re trying to amplify… ‘cause I imagine these are kind of like phones and they're not like super loud when they're playing sound out of them, right?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: That's a fair-
Spurrier: So, I-
Kyle: -assumption.
Spurrier: -think maybe we need to magically amplify-
Goodrich: Ah, yea we-
Spurrier: -the Ira Glass.
Goodrich: -do have to whisper to use them, sure.
Kyle: Yeah, that’s how you initiate the conversation.
Goodrich: So, we need to turn these Ira Glasses up to eleven.
Spurrier: Well-
Goodrich: One in specific.
Spurrier: One of them.
[both chuckle]
Goodrich: Right. [big inhale] So, okay-
Kyle: So, I’ll say, the words of what you're trying to do will probably play a large part into this being successful.
Goodrich: That's fair!
Kyle: So, with that in mind-
Goodrich: W-wa-wait, wait wait! I gotta call up Yashee first, maybe sure she's cool with it.
Kyle: Call up Yashee.
Goodrich: Bee-bee-bee-bee-boop. [whispers] Yashee??
[song from Vol 1 OST, “The Ira Glass” starts]
Kyle: You get a call on your Ira Glass.
Ali: Ring ring! Ring ring!
[Kyle chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): Oh! Hello?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, is your refrigerator running?
Ali (as Yashee): What? My- I don’t know! [players snicker] I haven’t been in my dorm in a while! Is the finger okay?!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah, Yashee! It's just me- it’s just me, Raz’ul!
Ali (as Yashee): [big sigh] Oh! Oh my gosh!
[Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey Yashee. [laughs]
Ali (as Yashee): Lead with that next time, man!
[Goodrich laughs]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ha ha, okay! So, we've got this plan-
Goodrich: -and I explain the plan to Yashee.
Kyle: Okay, conveyed.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Got it?
Ali (as Yashee): Oh yeah!
[all laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool! Tell Tabitha it’s time- are they there with you?
Ali (as Yashee): Yea she heard it all. Wait- no-
Goodrich (as Ra’zul): Uh-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Sounds good to me.
Ali (as Yashee): -she didn’t- oh yes, she did.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, cool! So…
Kyle (as Tabitha): You had it on speaker-Glass.
Goodrich: [chuckling]: Speaker-Glass.
Ali: So is there a speaker-Glass?
Kyle: Sure! It’s still- still not that great.
Spurrier: Yea.
Ali (as Yashee): She got it- she got it. She- she heard.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, so if you guys are ready…? We’re gonna do it!
Goodrich: Three-two-one, roll the chord dice, right Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Alright!
Kyle: We’ll see what happens.
[music fades out]
[digital transition music, “Chord Dice!” plays]
Spurrier: Uh, and Kyle there is no lag on these Ira Glasses, right?
Kyle: No. [Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier: Okay, phew.
Kyle: No, they’ve perfected that.
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: It’s magic.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: It’s magic.
Spurrier: Cool.
Goodrich: Alright. So… let’s roll the d12 to see what key it's gonna be! It's a three! D.
Spurrier: D, oh, D.
Goodrich: Just moving up the keys. [Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Kyle: Alright, cool cool. Yeah hey look at there.
Goodrich: Lookie there. Alright, so, major/minor? [chuckles]
Spurrier: I mean we did minor last time.
Ali: Alright.
Goodrich: Yeah, I’d be down to do some major.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: Oh boy.
Spurrier: Two wilds!
Kyle: Ah!
Spurrier: That’s okay.
Kyle: Don’t know what I did there.
Goodrich: Try again.
[dice rolls]
Kyle: Oh gee.
Goodrich: So we've got…
Kyle: Oh, wait, we’re in the key of D, right?
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: So we’ve got D, G, A-
Kyle: 1, 4, 5, 6!
Goodrich: [chuckling] -and B minor.
Spurrier: And yes.
Goodrich: There we go actually, that’s great.
Ali: That’s a song.
Goodrich: That’s a song alright. So, drums.
Ali: Right.
Goodrich: 4/4? 3/4? 5/4?
Ali: Uh, you know. Let’s just do a regs roll.
Spurrier: Yeah, why not?
Goodrich: So, 4/4, okay.
Ali: See what happens. [die roll]
Kyle: Regs roll.
Ali: -all right preset bank! [die roll] And the pattern is eighteen. So, Rock 8.
Kyle: Cool.
Goodrich: There you go.
Ali: [die roll] And the kit. Forty-three. Which gives us Latin 02!
Goodrich: Alright!
Kyle: Cool. This should be easy.
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh, sure!
Spurrier: Let’s do it!
Kyle: Yea. It’ll be good.
Goodrich: Here we go!
Kyle: Alright. Listeners, talk to you in a moment.
[digital riff transition]
[song from Vol 1 OST, “Middle Bit” begins]
Kyle (as Barenthall Strumlott): Hello hello hello! It is Barenthall saying thank you for listening to bomBARDed! I'm gonna give you some special news. Last week they released Chaos Sauce Vol 3! It was amazing! If you didn't download it, go to bombarded.bandcamp.com to do so!
Kyle: Get out of here, Barenthall, that's my gig! Yeah, well, I mean he's not wrong. So we had, uh, you know, Chaos Sauce Vol 3, drop last week for ya. You can find that at bombarded.bandcamp.com, of course, match! So, uh, but next week, we're gonna be dropping the OST Vol 3. Goodrich and Spurrier did their musical magic and we're gonna make that a pay what you want as usual. So if you go over to the Bandcamp, you'll find that on April 16 for your downloading pleasures.
Kyle (continued): I don't really have much else to say except for if you're looking for our website bombardedcast.com. And, of course, all of the music that we’ve previously released is it bombarded.bandcamp.com. If you’re tooling around on social media, check out @bombardedcast to find us. Send us a message or, you know, tweet at us, let us know what you think. And if you’re just talking about the show, use the hashtag, #BardCast.
Kyle (continued): Uh, other than that, I- I don’t-
Kyle (as Barenthall Strumlott): He doesn’t have much else to say so back to the show!
[music fades out]
[digital riff transition]
Goodrich: Alright, so I guess I take the student’s Ira Glass and I whisper into it-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispering] Raz’ul?
Kyle: Y- Yeah you hear [song from Vol 1 OST, “The Ira Glass” starts] something on your Ira Glass.
Goodrich: Oh, good and there's no like feedback, is there?
Kyle: Oh instantly.
[SFX: feedback noise]
Goodrich: Oh no!
Kyle: There is a little bit of feedback-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh no! Turn it off, turn it off!
Kyle: -just for a moment. You separate them and- [feedback stops]
Goodrich: Good, good. Excellent. [Ali chuckles] Uh, okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, Yashee? Does Tabitha wanna join in? Er, what's the…
Ali (as Yashee): Tabs, what do you think?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Uh, I- I'm gonna help Nurse Odejoy, y’all do your thing, though.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.
Ali (as Yashee): Okay!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Okay, well.
Goodrich: Okay and I go over to the door and creak it open, you know quietly and-
Kyle: [whispering] ‘Kay.
Goodrich: -roll out the student’s Ira Glass. So…
Kyle: Mkay.
Ali: Roll it out.
[players chuckle]
Kyle: Oh, you know what? You know if you're rolling it out- just give me- give me a roll.
Goodrich: [die roll] Five.
Kyle: Alright. So, you roll out… doesn’t roll very far.
Goodrich: [chuckles] Five plus strength, maybe? That’d be a plus-
Kyle: I’ll give you your dex.
Goodrich: D- you sure not strength?
[all laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, I’m pretty sure then.
Goodrich: ‘Kay! That's, uh, JOAT then. So, six.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: Okay. And I just push Raz’ul gently out of the way. [Goodrich laughs] And send Eddie out there with my Mage Hand [Kyle snorts] and just place it thirty feet away.
Kyle: Okay, yeah, you're able to place it where you want it with your Mage Hand.
Spurrier (as Randy): Have you practiced rolling? Like-
Goodrich: [laughing] Right! [big inhale]
Goodrich (as Razul): Shut up, Randy.
[Kyle laughs]
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh buh, alright. Let’s just play the song.
[music fades out]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, alright. Let’s do it.
[intro of song, “Ep 34, A Little Louder” begins]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [singing]
I wish I was a little louder and
Fairly lively and a bit more grand
Ooh, jaunty like the bards who’ve crossed the land
Steady as the waves upon the sand
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) and Spurrier (as Randy): [singing]
And oh the joy, the joy, the joy
Of all the noise, the noise, the noise
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [singing]
I wish I was a little louder and
Bards: [singing]
When I begin to play
In this exuberant way
The verses that we sing are amplifying
And building up the sound
Where rhapsodies abound
And every note you hear intensifying
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) and Spurrier (as Randy): [singing]
I need a push to power up my roar
Turn it up and let the music soar
Ooh, louder than you’ve ever heard before
A melody that no one can ignore
And oh the joy, the joy, the joy
Of all the noise, the noise, the noise
I wish I was a little louder and
Bards: [singing]
When I begin to play
In this exuberant way
The verses that we sing are amplifying
And building up the sound
Where rhapsodies abound
And every note you hear intensifying
[song ends]
Kyle: Okay. So, you’re playing your song, which I have to say, as a DM, I very much enjoyed. Uh, it’s good, and I think you’ve included the words to impart what you want to have happen. Now I'm gonna do something a little different because I- just to try it out. I think I’m gonna roll a percentile dice to see if this works or doesn't work.
Goodrich: Ohhhhhh!
Kyle: And because of the method that you're going through where you're trying to use magic through a magic item-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: I think in this roll, I'm going to choose if- if something bad happens. There's a percentage that something goes wrong-
Spurrier: Ohh!
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: -in the situation. So I am going to give you, because of the situation, which I'm just kind of coming up with this, I'm gonna say there's like a 60% chance something could go wrong.
Spurrier: Oh, fun.
Ali: Jeez!
Goodrich: Okay!
Kyle: Uh-
Goodrich: Well and this percentage die stuff, do we want to do this going forward??
Kyle: I- I will use it on a case-by-case scenario.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: I mean regular songs no, but magic songs yeah.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: I might, if it's something as easy as like the last song where you played for the door, it's like yeah, okay that's 100% yeah, you’re good.
Goodrich: You played an F. Great job.
Kyle: Um, but yeah I might- I might begin to implement this a little bit more going forward depending on, uh, depending on how it goes. So, 60% chance of something going wrong and do you want that to be a high sixty? Forty or above. Or a low sixty? Sixty or below.
Spurrier: Uh…
Goodrich: You choose, Kyle.
Spurrier: Yeah, you choose, Kyle.
Kyle: Okay, if we get [sound of dice clattering] sixty or under, something’s going wrong.
Goodrich: Okay.
Spurrier: Big money, big money!
Spurrier: Ninety-
Goodrich: Ninety-six!
Spurrier: Woo woo!
Goodrich: Alright!
Kyle: Ninety-six. Okay. So you start playing [instrumental version of “Ep 34, A Little Louder” begins] through the Ira Glasses and you’re funneling your music through it to actually perform and amplify inside the cafeteria. You notice that the Ira Glasses themselves are responding to the vespers that- that come out of your instruments every time you try to play magical music. And the Ira Glasses start to glow a bright light.
Goodrich: Uhh.
Kyle: I mean they are heating up and they're kind of like almost- it seems like they’re almost losing their solid shape in a way.
Goodrich: Oooh.
Kyle: But they seem to maintain form despite this fact.
Goodrich: Cool.
Kyle: You can hear the Ira Glass in the cafeteria. It is just starting to echo and boom out and exceed the volume capacity that it normally has. And the music in the area’s filling up. All of the infected creatures are starting to swarm towards it and stand near it, especially when you mention the words, “A melody that no one can ignore.” So, all of these infected students are just making their way to the center around this Ira Glass. And it seems like you have a pretty clear escape path ahead of you.
Goodrich: Uh, yeah!
Kyle: You get to the end of the song and add they all seem enamored by it. So, this is your moment.
[music ends]
[background music starts: “Ep 34, Long Distance”]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, let's go. Alto, hup two, hup two. Let’s go!
Kyle: Mkay. Alto gets up, he’s like-
Kyle (as Alto): Oh, yeah, let’s go, let’s go.
Spurrier (as Randy): Back to the office?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, uh, Yashee, we’ll see you in a little bit!
Ali (as Yashee): Oh great, it worked!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh yeah it did actually.
[all laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, and Yashee, by the way, your Ira Glass also kind of got weird and malleable and hot- all of them did. Anything that was funneling your magic through it-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: -like it seemed like it nearly like brought this to capacity.
Spurrier: Oohh.
Kyle: But yeah, luckily nothing went wrong.
Ali: Whoo!
Spurrier: Oh boy.
Goodrich: Okay! Well that was fun, uh… [players laugh] Yeah, good-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Sweet. [laughing] Okay!
Kyle: I’m glad it worked out for you.
Goodrich: Yeah, okay that's fun though! That is also scary. [Spurrier chuckles] So okay-
Ali (as Yashee): Hurry up guys, come back!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay cool!
Goodrich: And I guess we’re- I don't have Pass Without Trace, but we're still being sneaky.
Kyle: Yeah- yeah you can go ahead and stealth if you want to-
Spurrier: Yeah, let’s-
Kyle: -as you go out of the cafeteria. [die roll] I’ll roll one for, uh-
Goodrich: Hoo!
Kyle: -good old Alto Brown. [die roll] Ooh! Alto’s a sneaky boy.
Goodrich: Yeah, [die roll] I got an eighteen [die roll] plus jack of all trades so…
Spurrier: I got an eleven plus nine.
Kyle: Okay, yeah. You as a crew are able to-
Goodrich: [high-pitched laughing] We don’t need no-
Kyle: -sneak by successfully.
Goodrich: [laughing] -Pass Without Trace, Kyle! What-
Kyle: Yeah!
Goodrich: [laughing] -are you even talking about?!
Kyle: I don't know! You don't need that biz! I don't know why you use it all the time-
Goodrich: [sighing] Yeah, I know.
Kyle: [through gritted teeth] -use it more often.
Goodrich: That’s true.
Kyle: Uh. [both laugh] No but, uh, yeah you're able to make your way out of the cafeteria stealthily. You don't draw any attention through your movement. All of these infected students again seem enamored by the music that was piping through the Ira Glass and they’re just kind of standing there. You make your way out into the hallway and you’re- you see a pretty clear hallway and uh, an access path to the offices.
Goodrich: Cool.
Spurrier (as Randy): Onward?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, Alto, follow us. We know where we’re going.
Kyle: Alto’s like, in tow. So-
Goodrich: Oh, great.
Kyle: -yeah. So you make your way to the offices. And uh, Yashee, Tabitha, and Nurse Odejoy, all three of you hear the sound of running footsteps, or stealthily running footsteps-
Goodrich: Right. The pitter-patter of bardic feet!
Kyle: [chuckling] Yes! The pitter-patter of bardic feet, uh, approaching the office doors.
Goodrich and Ali: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee, it’s us. Let us in!
Ali: So I’ll say-
Ali (as Yashee): Sounds like the guys! I’d recognize those footsteps anywhere!
Kyle: HA!
Goodrich: The soft footfalls of little bards.
[Spurrier chuckles]
Ali: Is our door locked, or something? Do we have-
Kyle: I mean, yeah, you know, there’s stuff in front of it to keep people from being able to-
Ali: Okay.
Kyle: -you know, just barge in.
Ali (as Yashee): C’mon, let’s remove all this- get this stuff out of the-
Kyle: Yeah, Tabitha’s-
Ali (as Yashee): -way.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah, I agree.
Kyle: And she stops helping Odejoy and goes over and starts moving some of the stuff that y’all are using to block the door. You open it up and you see the door open just in time as you’re reaching it. You get in and Alto Brown is-
Kyle (as Alto): [heavy breathing] Thank- thank god. Put that stuff back in front of the door.
Goodrich (as Ra’zul): Ah, okay.
Goodrich: And we do it.
Kyle (as Alto): [panting] Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Here we go. Bleh-blah-bluh-bluh-bleh-bluh-blah-bluh!
[background music fades out]
Kyle: And, uh, yeah. You’re all back together.
[background music starts: “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. I”]
Ali: Alright!
Kyle: The team is back together again.
Ali: I’m gonna go up to Raz’ul and give him one of those high-five- like high-fives that turn into a hug.
[players laugh]
Ali: Right? And when- when we’re in the high-five part, I slip him the hairs.
Goodrich: Ohhh!
Ali: The Greenspire hairs.
Goodrich: Okay, here we go!
[Spurrier chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): Really good to see you, buddy!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohhhh.
Ali (as Yashee): [whispering] Hey, put these away!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispering] Okay, I got it. Here we go.
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: Give me a sleight of hand, you two. [chuckling] I want to see how well you do this.
Ali: [die roll] That’s a seven plus one.
Goodrich: [die roll] Man, eighteen again! How about it?!
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: So nineteen. [giggles]
Kyle: Yashee is fairly clumsy as far as this goes, like, [imitating Yashee] “Oh, yeah, here ya go!”
Ali: I’m trying to look real cool!
Kyle: Yeah. [Ali laughs] You’re more worried about looking cool than doing it well. And Raz’ul’s just- you obviously pick up on what she’s doing-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: -pretty easily. And you are able to compensate [chuckling] for her lack of-
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yeah!
[Ali laughing]
Kyle: -uh, lack of being subtle.
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, man, that’s some bad dandruff you got there, Yashee! Here, let me [Kyle laughs] collect it up right here.
Goodrich: And I [sing-song] slip it in my pocket! What color is Alola’s hair? You said ssssilver?
Kyle: It’s like silvery, yeah, I believe is what I said.
Goodrich: Okay. I’m not worried about that.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: That should be good. So I put it in my pocket.
Kyle: It should stand out, yeah.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: It’ll stand out.
Goodrich: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, in it goes. Now I’ve got a few, right?
Kyle: Yeah, you’ve got a-
Goodrich: A fistful of hair, pretty much.
Kyle: [singing] You got hair full in your pocket!
Goodrich: [laughing] Right!
[all laugh]
Goodrich: So, good!
Kyle: Alright, so, uh… Nurse Odejoy turns and says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well I was uh- I was a little worried when all of you didn’t return. But I was excited to see Tabitha return and, well now you’ve a- apparently saved Alto Brown. Alto, I hope you’re doing alright?
Kyle (as Alto): I- I’m doing alright. Don’t you- you know, a little- little shaken up, but I’ll be okay. Let me know if I can help, uh, brew up something for you.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): He was a real trooper. He was great.
Kyle (as Alto): [pause] Thanks, Raz’ul. [players laugh] I appreciate it. You’re Raz’ul, right?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s me. [laughs]
Kyle (as Alto): I’ll try to keep that in mind in the future.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Th-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -thank you.
Kyle: Um-
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: So, yeah and um, Odejoy says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, okay, so I’m working on the cure. I’m just gonna call it Robert Smith.
[slight snickers]
Goodrich: Oh jeez- is that the- okay! [laughing]
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Sure.
Kyle: Uh, she says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): But um, again I was telling Yashee and Tabitha, before we administer this- of course, I’ll administer to people in here. But before we can do the school-wide administration of- of this cure, of the Robert Smith-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -um, we’ll need to make sure that whatever’s causing this is not going to be able to cause it again. So, I want you three to find the source of it.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. We saw like a thing…
Spurrier (as Randy): We saw some stuff oozing out of a vent-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): -in a room where a student had barricaded themselves. So, it looked like they probably would’ve been fine on their own, but I’m guessing whatever came through that vent infected them.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Huh.
Spurrier (as Randy): So, I don’t know if we need to go in the vents or if you have any thoughts on that…?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, I believe the ventilation system runs… [under breath] well, the furnace is in the basement, I mean, so…
Spurrier (as Randy): Ah, we could dance!
Kyle (as Odejoy): -the ventilation-
[Spurrier and Goodrich snickers]
Ali (as Yashee): Weren’t they doing- weren’t they doing all that construction down there?
Kyle (as Odejoy): They were doing construction down there, you’re right, Yashee.
Ali (as Yashee): Hmm.
Spurrier (as Randy): Hooh.
Ali (as Yashee): That’s what-
Kyle (as Odejoy): How did you know that?
Ali (as Yashee): Well, that’s where Symbol said he was!
Kyle (as Odejoy): [pause] Oh, well, I mean, weren’t you searching for your teacher in the first place?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, we saw some conspicuous boots that could have been his but…
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Is there an elevator from the basement up to upper floors?
Kyle: Uh… and Alto turns and he’s like-
Kyle (as Alto): Well, actually uh… [Goodrich chuckles] I do have a little bit of a dumbwaiter that uh, I use, that’s not too far from the cafeteria. Just to be able to load foods up and down. Uh, it’s not the biggest, but you could probably sneak the three of you down there in it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean-
Kyle (as Alto): I’d be a tight fit!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee’s pretty big. Do you think she could fit?
Kyle (as Alto): Uh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) and Kyle (as Alto): Uh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [continuing] Uh…
Kyle (as Alto): We- you’d have to find out when you get there. It might be viable, it might not be, uh…
Ali (as Yashee): Uh, anyone got a Diminution Potion on hand?
[players laugh]
Kyle: Uh and-
Goodrich: Bop-a-doo?
Kyle: -and Nurse Odejoy is actually like-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, Yashee um… [Goodrich snickers]
Kyle: And she opens up the flap of her jacket and she looks in-
Goodrich: Oh jeez.
Kyle: -and she’s like flipping through. She’s like-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Actually I- I- do! I do.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): I have a Diminution Potion right here, if you’d like to use it.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, great!
Kyle (as Odejoy): I typically do it when I’m trying to do smaller, uh, kind of, sutures and everything.
Goodrich: She just shrinks her hands?
Kyle (as Odejoy): No, I just-
Goodrich: Not herself?
Kyle (as Odejoy): -no I just make myself smaller so I have smaller hands and I can-
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -do more delicate work.
Spurrier (as Randy): Wow.
Goodrich: I thought you meant she just put it on her hands and her [chuckling] hands just get real small. [Kyle chukles]
Kyle (as Odejoy): No, no no no no no. [Ali laughs] I make myself smaller, so I can do more intricate work.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Right, right.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, thank you! Uh, what else you got in there?
Goodrich: She got any Winger Dingers?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Um, actually… no.
Goodrich: [laughing] Okay!
Kyle (as Odejoy): I don’t have that-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Nnnever mind!
Kyle (as Odejoy): -I do have some, of course, just standard health potions, um…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I could take one of those if that’s cool. I’m down to thirty.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Down to thirty what?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh! M- my bad! I’m- I mean, I’m feeling about half as good as I normally do, just about. Uh…
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay… Right.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You know. So, if you got one to spare…
Kyle (as Odjeoy): Yeah, it’s- it’s a simple one. It doesn’t do too much, but-
Goodrihc (as Raz’ul): That’s okay.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -it will put a pep in your step.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah ‘kay. Here we go.
Goodrich: And I take it.
Goodrich (as Ra’zul): Anyone else need anything else before we go?
Ali (as Yashee) I mean, if you’ve got a few to spare, I’ll take a health potion-
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, same.
Ali (as Yashee): -as well.
Kyle (as Odejoy): I have one more.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, I still have one from the tomb so… Randy if you want it.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, if you have health potions, why am I giving you the health potions I have?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Too late! No give-sies back-sies!
Goodrich: And I run out. [chuckles]
[Kyle sighs]
Spurrier (as Randy): I guess if I could have it-
Ali (as Yashee): Sure.
Spurrier (as Randy): -that would be.
Spurrier (as Randy): Alright. [sing song] Thank you!
Kyle: And she hands it off to you, Randy. She says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay. We’ve got our Ira Glasses, which, whatever you three did, to cause the Ira Glasses to react like that, I’d be careful of doing that again.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, okay.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Seemed very unstable.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle (as Odejoy): If you’re mixing magics and magic items, it can be a bad time.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Goodrich: I’m walking backwards towards the door as I say all this. [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, cool. Sweet. Awesome. [Ali giggles] Hey, Tabby, y- you wanna come with, or uh…?
Kyle: Tabitha says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): I’m actually going to keep assisting uh… you know what? You got this, right Nurse Odejoy?
Kyle: And Odejoy says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Tabitha, if you want to help them out, by all means, go right ahead.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispered] Yes!
Kyle: Tabitha says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah. You know what, I’ll tag along.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Heck yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Nice!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): ‘Cause you know, if Yashee winds up not being able to fit in the dumbwaiter-
Spurrier (as Randy): Ooh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) -it’d be nice to have a third person.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah, if we have to wind up taking the stairs, but, I mean, if there’s four of us, even with the Diminution Potion, that might prove tricks-y.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah, we’ll just get there and find out.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Alright.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Wing it. Play it by ear, you know? Like musicians do?
Kyle: Hey!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right? Right?
Kyle: How ‘bout it?!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle: Alright! So, next time… [bomBARDed theme fades in] We’re gonna head out. Listeners, talk to you all next time.
[theme finishes as episode ends]