Ep. 33 – A Mound of Trouble
Goodrich: Hugh. Okay.
Kyle: Ready?
Goodrich: We’re rolling.
Kyle: We’re feeling good?
Goodrich: Yep.
Kyle: How’s everyone doing?
[Spurrier and Goodrich make halfhearted sounds]
[all laugh]
Kyle: Let’s play Dungeons & Dragons, everybody!
[bomBARDed theme song plays]
Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to bomBARDed. I'm gonna recap last episode real quick. [song from Vol 1 OST, “Let’s Recap” begins] So we started off with our bards arriving back to Strumlott’s and finding Mitch unconscious on the ground and Nurse Odejoy being like, “Stay away from Mitch! He's like infected with something.”
Goodrich: He's like infected with something?
Kyle: Yes, exactly-
Goodrich: Oh my god!
Kyle: -and then Mitch got up and was like, “bleh!” A bunch of like purple spore stuff.
Ali: Mmhm.
Kyle: And Yashee and Raz’ul thought it smelled really good but Randy wasn’t havin’ none of it.
Spurrier: Mmhm.
Kyle: Nurse Odejoy handed off some, uh, spray stuff to Randy that should help and it did.
Spurrier: Mmhm.
Kyle: Then Nurse Odejoy let you back to like this little safe haven in the office areas that she and Tabitha have set up. And it's kind of like a mock infirmary that's taking care of a bunch of the people that are suffering from the same infliction that Mitch was suffering from.
Goodrich: Indeed!
Kyle: You know there was some hair mischief going on with Garreth and and, uh, Raz’ul-
[Ali laughs]
Goodrich: We’re just stockpiling, you know. [laughs]
Kyle: Trying to save up for the doll. I gotcha.
[laughter]
Goodrich: Right! Kyle was getting on my case earlier about like do we need to like shift your alignment? I don't know?!
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: No, I mean like Batman does that stuff all the time where he’s like-
Kyle: Spying on him all the time to make sure he's okay.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: [sighs] That’s not what I’m gonna do! [Kyle laughs] Now, Randy! I don’t know about you…
Spurrier: I- we’ll see.
Kyle: But uh-
Goodrich: Anyhoo!
Kyle: You pretty much found out that like Tabitha has helped- helped out Nurse Odejoy and was off to go get, uh, pymaricin spray. And pretty much hadn't returned yet. Other things that we found out while in this little infirmary was that Yashee’s father was there.
Goodrich: Yeah!
Ali: He's just like laying on the ground. Like, oh no!
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Classic dad!
Ali (as Yashee): What’s he doing here?
Kyle: Yeah, so, from there you guys decided to head on out and go get this pymaricin spray for Nurse Odejoy. You also learned a little bit about being able to change key.
Ali, Goodrich, and Spurrier: Hooray!
Kyle: Playing in different keys.
Goodrich: Yes!
Kyle: Which came into play after you had made your way through Strumlott’s to get to the utility workshop door. Of course encountering a few, you know, infected students along the way.
Goodrich: Naturally.
Kyle: But, uh, but you worked your way around all of those inconveniently placed situations-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: Says the DM, jeez!
Kyle: [laughs] And uh, you played your song to be able to open the door. You went back over your little pamphlet that you found in Yashee’s father's vest and also looked at the chords-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: -that you've been given, made a song out of it. The door had unlocked itself after listening to your song and you were making your way in there as a group of these infected students had been attracted by the sound of your song.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: You stealthily dove into the workroom [music fades out] and we're pretty much starting there. [background music starts] You feel safe. You heard those people pass by and you turn around to take stock of the shop that you're in now.
Goodrich: Perception check!
Spurrier: Let’s-
Goodrich: Right, right?
Ali: Yeah. I go-
Goodrich: Probably?
Kyle: Go for it.
Ali: Is there a light switch?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: Are the lights on?
Kyle: There is a- a light switch... [pause]
[Goodrich chuckles]
Ali: Alright. Is it-? I'm gonna flip that switch!
Goodrich: Well, we- okay, we’re hitting two. Do we wanna-
Ali: And then I’m gonna also… oh okay. Never mind!
Goodrich: Wait, so are we flipping it or not? We’re flip flopping about flipping the switch.
Kyle: I mean it's dark in here. If you got Darkvision you're good.
Goodrich and Ali: Okay.
Goodrich: So, don’t flip the switch-
Ali: Oh, never mind.
Goodrich: -don’t flip the switch.
Spurrier: And I got my goggles so-
Kyle: There you go. You're good.
[dice rolls]
Kyle: Give me that perception.
Goodrich: Ah, jeez. Three plus five.
[all laugh]
Ali: Five plus one.
Kyle: [chuckling] Okay.
Spurrier: Fourteen plus three.
Goodrich: I think my dice must be loaded to roll threes. I've rolled so many threes.
Kyle: That's true, yeah.
[Goodrich sighs]
Kyle: Uh, okay. So, I'm gonna give uh, Yashee and Raz’ul your passive perception. You pretty much see everything I’m about to list. And, uh, I'll give Randy a specific piece of information that he notices because he didn't suck at it. So, you turn around and you notice that the, uh, the inside of this utility slash closet slash workshop, uh, it's a little junky, not super well taken care of. But, uh, you know, it's fairly large and it has a, you know, a section where there's like gardening equipment. And you also notice that there's, uh, lockers for safety gear and it's, you know, it’s like cautionary kind of stickers on it and everything like that. You see a mop, sink, and bucket. Uh, there's shelving nearby holding a bunch of different tools and of course there's a work bench, uh, that has a pegboard behind it and there's tools hanging from it and everything. Uh, Randy, you specifically notice that, yeah, on the shelving you see… well you see, uh, you see a very large canister. You don't know what it says on the side-
[all laugh]
Kyle: -but, uh, but, you see that-
Spurrier: It speaks to me!
Kyle: [laughing] Yeah, you see that, and you see what look like backpack spray holders like for you know tackling weeds and stuff?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: Right.
Kyle: You also notice the work bench has a clarinet on it where the keys have been removed and laid out in a particular order. And you notice there’s a picture clipped onto the pegboard behind the workbench.
Spurrier: Uh, well. Uh, so, I pass on all the stuff that you told me that I saw.
Kyle: Okay. Randy points out the like, weird-looking canisters and you see on the side it reads, “pymaricin spray.”
Goodrich: [laughing] Okay!
Ali: Oh, there we go.
Goodrich: That’s why you were making that face! [Kyle chuckles] Uh, can we just go over- can we stealth over to the pymaricin…?
Spurrier: Well, I want to investigate those keys really quick, since you said they were laid out in a certain way.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: Like see if there’s anything special about that.
Kyle: Uh, yeah, go for it. Go ahead and give me an investigation.
Spurrier: [die roll] That is a fourteen plus two.
Kyle: Okay, you’re inspecting the keys and you’re looking it over and specifically you notice that the pads have been removed from the keys on this clarinet. Uh, and it looks like it’s arranged like someone’s about to put pads into it.
Spurrier: Oh. So, it’s not like a puzzle? Or like a secret message-
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: No, just looks-
Spurrier: -or. Okay, cool-
Kyle: -like somebody’s repairing an instrument.
Spurrier: Okay! Well.
Kyle: No, in this situation.
Spurrier (as Randy): No, alright. Well, moving on then.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, hey. What are you doing? Come on.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh… looking-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Pymaricin spray, let’s go.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, right!
Goodrich: [chuckles] So I-
Kyle: Mkay.
Goodrich: -hoist Randy up to get it. Or do you just want to take it off the shelf, Yashee? [laughs]
Ali: Oh, no. You guys can have fun with it.
Goodrich: Okay.
Spurrier: Alright.
Ali: I’m- while I’m-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Here we go!
Goodrich: Randy he grabs it.
Ali: I wanna look for some face mask things.
Kyle: Oh, yeah? Where do you wanna investigate for those?
Ali: Eeeeverywhere!
Kyle: Okay, just give me an investigation, then.
Ali: [giggles] [die roll] And, it’s a five.
[Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Kyle: Okay. You uh- you do a thorough search through the room and uh, you’re finishing up with the lockers, but you haven’t found anything.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, Yashee, what are you looking for?
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, I was kinda hoping there’d be like some cool gardening tools-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, cool.
Ali (as Yashee): -like to help us, like respirator masks or something…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, let me just help you look, there, Yashee! [die roll]
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, come on over! I already checked here, but fine!
Goodrich: Oh it’s an… eight.
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: And eight? Uh-
Goodrich: Same thing.
Kyle: Yeah. Pretty much the same thing. You’re- you don’t really see-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, I’ll be.
Kyle: -much of anything.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Randers, you wanna get over here and uh…
[Ali laughs]
Spurrier (as Randy): What am I- I’m looking for something?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Alright.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Just uh…
Spurrier (as Randy): Let me take a look.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -see if you can help!
Spurrier: [die roll] That is a nineteen plus three.
Kyle: Yeah, you notice that somehow these two people have [players start laughing] just totally missed the drawers that are at the bottom of these lockers-
Spurrier: Oh.
Kyle: -that they’re looking into.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, down. Go- go- go down-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Wh- oh!!!
Ali (as Yashee): Oh!
Kyle: Of course, the shortest person would notice.
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Open up the drawers!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yes.
Ali (as Yashee): I guess so.
Spurrier: Open the drawers-
Goodrich: Stealthfully open them up!
Ali: Eh??
Spurrier and Goodrich: Eh??
Kyle: It sounds like they need to be greased cause it’s like [squeaky door sound] errrrrr, regardless of how slowly you move it. But you notice that there’s three packs of uh, of three respirators. So, three packs of three.
Spurrier: Oh.
Ali: Oh.
Kyle: Nine respirators.
Goodrich: Well.
Ali: Well, I’ll take them and I guess pass out a pack per person.
Spurrier: Okay!
Goodrich: Alright!
Spurrier: Write it down.
[Ali laughs]
Goodrich: Well, uh… is there a way out? Or is this pretty much it?
Kyle: Uh, you that there- there is a door that looks like it would probably lead outside. Uh, but it seems to be securely locked.
Goodrich: [sighs] Another song for another door, right?
Kyle: No!
[players laugh]
Kyle: No, no, no. That’s not what I’m trying to do at all…
Goodrich: I know.
Kyle: Um-
Ali: Well, maybe we should call Tabitha, then and see-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: -where she is, ‘cause obviously it wasn’t here, so.
Goodrich: Yes.
[music fades]
Ali: I’ll pull out my Ira Glass.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispering] Tabitha?
[song from Vol 1 OST, “The Ira Glass” starts]
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] Hello? Who- who is there?
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, hey, it’s us! Where are you?
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] I- I’m hiding right now. I- I’m in the… how well do y’all know Kage?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Kage, the bed race guy?
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): All I know is that he like bed racing and has a shop that needs cleaning. This is Raz’ul, by the way.
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] Wait, you’ve been in his shop?
Ali (as Yashee): [whispering] We’re there-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’re in there right now.
Ali (as Yashee): [whispering] -right now.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispering] Should we be whispering? We haven’t done- well we’re sneaking, so…
[Ali chuckles]
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] Okay, okay, the wall by the workbench. Check the wall by the workben- [crying out] Oh my god!
[music stops]
Kyle: And she’s gone.
Ali: Dang it!
Goodrich: Agh.
Kyle: And you all hear [background music starts] like the sound of just commotion coming from the other side of the wall near the workbench.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): D-agh!
Ali (as Yashee): Alright. Let’s get behind that workbench!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, let’s put the masks on first!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, definitely.
Goodrich: And I put my mask on, then put a mask on Lion.
Ali: Yeah.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: Like on an airplane. Help yourself first, yeah.
Kyle: Give me an investigation whoever-
Spurrier: Yeah, let’s investigate.
Goodrich: Well, I’ll-
Ali: Let’s all do it.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: A three! S-
Kyle: Dang.
Goodrich: Seriously!
Spurrier: Do you- do you want to use a different one?
Goodrich: No-
Spurrier: I’ve-
Goodrich: It’ll turn around, don’t worry.
Spurrier: Okay. I’ve got two here.
Ali: I got a nineteen.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: Fifteen plus two.
Kyle: Okay, Yashee and Randy, at about the same time you notice that there’s a marking in the grouting of the wall. And you can tell that all you need to do is push on it and it’ll like click open.
Spurrier: Oh! Alright.
Ali: Okay, I’ll go ahead and do that.
Kyle: Mmkay. You push it and click, open. And you pull back the wall. [music fades out] And inside you notice [background music starts] this like foggy kind of atrium, filled with a bunch of foliage. It’s this weird greenhouse kind of feeling. You get warmth and moisture just pouring out of this room-
Goodrich: Well, Raz’ul’s-
Kyle: And-
Goodrich: -getting warm seeing all this nature.
[players chuckle]
Goodrich: That’s for sure. Right in my bones!
[players laugh]
Ali: Oh no.
Spurrier: Alright!
Kyle: You can see different, you know, ferns and bushes growing here and there and small like, orb-like flowers that line kind of- it’s not really a path, but there’s sort of a trail blazed here. But uh, then you hear- you hear the sound of Tabitha scream out.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah!
Kyle: And you hear [SFX: like marbles rolling or something breaking apart] this crashing sound as something is bounding through these forests. And you just see a tentacle swing past the tree line. And you see Tabitha like wrapped in it. And she is holding her instrument and a shortsword.
Ali (as Yashee): Ugh, no!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah!
Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s go?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Get in the fray, uh… Weemo-weh! Attack!
[players laugh]
Kyle: Mmkay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Use Slash!
[players laugh]
Spurrier: It’s super effective!
Goodrich: [laughing] It’s super effective.
Spurrier: Um, and then also, so Tabitha doesn’t freak out, I’m gonna change out of looking like an infected Mitch.
[players laugh]
Ali: Ah, good call.
Kyle: [chuckling] That’s a good idea.
Spurrier: Yes.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, let’s go go go!
Kyle: Okay. So, you charge forward and as you do, uh, the little orb-like flowers I mentioned, they sprout forth, having monstrous-like mouths that open up like Venus flytraps. Uh, these long, licky-like tongues stick out of them as they bob on spindly vines that connect to the ground.
Goodrich: It’s a good thing we’re sneaking through this place though, right guys?
Kyle: You didn’t say that!
Goodrich: But we are, now! But we’re sneaking, Kyle!!!
Kyle: You didn’t say that!
Goodrich: [sighing] Come on!
Kyle: But as you’re sprinting forward, uh, there are four that caught you by surprise as they protruded out of the ground. And each of them are gonna to try to bite at one of you.
[Kyle mumbles and rolls a die four times]
Kyle: Okay, so out of those, uh, Yashee, one lunges out to hit you and it looks like it’s about to bite down, but your cloak seems to harden up – the cloak that you got-
Ali: Yeah?
Kyle: -in the Tomb of the Dizz – it hardens up and stiffens and deflects the bite-
Ali: Yes!
Goodrich: Nice.
Kyle: -away from that. So, uh, you can consider your AC fourteen if you want to mark that down.
Goodrich: Ohhh…
Ali: Okay.
Kyle: And uh…
Goodrich: The secrets are revealed!
[Ali chuckles]
Kyle: As far as Randy and Raz’ul, they lunge out at you. There’s no attacks that make a hit. But the last one does wind up getting a fifteen.
Ali: Ah.
Kyle: So, uh, one lurches out and bites at Yashee. And it- she takes four piercing damage. And you also take one poison damage, too. And you’re considered grappled at this point. And, uh, yeah, let’s go ahead and roll some initiative real quick.
[music fades out]
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: See yeah, got a sixteen. Not bad.
Spurrier: Got a five plus three.
Kyle: ‘Kay.
Ali: A nineteen plus one!
Kyle: Alright, so we’re gonna go Yashee, Raz’ul, uh, my person, then Randy. So Yashee, whatcha doin’?
Ali: Um, [battle music starts] I kinda want to just get out of this, so- and try to go get Tabitha.
Goodrich and Kyle: [singing a la Queen’s “I Want to Break Free”] She wants to break free-ee!
Goodrich: Ey!
Kyle: Hey, what’s up!
[Kyle laughs]
Goodrich: There it is.
Ali: Yep! I’m gonna do it, so, um, I’m gonna try to break this here grapple.
Kyle: Okay, go ahead and give me a, uh, a strength check.
[die roll]
Goodrich: [singing] She wants to break free!
Ali: That is a…
Kyle: Or an escape whichever-
Ali: Seventeen plus-
Kyle: -works better for you.
Ali: -four plus JOAT?
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Is this uh-? Okay.
Kyle: Yeah, you uh, you grab this thing, and you grapple it and, uh, you know, you could even try to pull it out of the ground if you wanted to.
Goodrich: Oh?!
Ali: Okay! I’m gonna grab it and wrap it around my wrist a couple times and-
Kyle: Give me another strength check.
Ali: -give it a good yankin’- [die roll] A seventeen plus four plus JOAT!
[players laugh]
Kyle: Okay, yeah, you- you rip this creature, or this plant-
[Goodrich laughs]
Kyle: -right out of the ground.
Goodrich: Careful, careful!
Kyle: It’s still-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: [laughing] I’m just playing!
Kyle: Yeah, you-
Ali: It was just trying to hug me!
Goodrich: Oh my gosh!
[all laugh]
Kyle: So yeah, you rip this plant right out of the ground and it’s uh, it- you know, its- you have its stem wrapped around in your hand. So it- the head’s still bobbing around and trying to like lunge at you and bite at you. But you’re able to keep it just far enough away-
Goodrich: It’s like when you get a Piranha Plant in Mario Kart! They just like [make biting sounds]
Kyle: Yeah! Yeah.
Ali: And I grab its head and start jump roping a little bit. Ha ha!
[all laugh]
Ali: No.
Kyle: Alright, uh, so- and then, after you break the grapple, if you want to, you can move your- move towards Tabitha or move further in, whichever you want to do. Do you- unless that’s the end of your turn?
Ali: I guess I’ll keep going. I’m just gonna drop this vine dude.
Kyle: Mmkay. There’s one that’s nearby. It’s gonna try to lunge at you as you’re- as you’re running by it. [die roll] And… misses. So-
[Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: And, uh… Raz’ul.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: What you doing?
[music fades out]
Goodrich: So, how are these arranged? There’s like two on one side, two on the other?
Kyle: Yeah. And they’re a little staggered.
Goodrich: And like a little path in the middle?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Uh, okay, so I have a spell called Mold Earth. And I can choose a portion of dirt or stone that I can see within range and that fits within a five-foot cube. And I can manipulate it in one of the following ways. And one of the ways is, um, I can instantly excavate it if- it’s loose earth, right?
Kyle: Yeah-
Goodrich: Okay, cool.
Kyle: -I’d say it’s loose earth.
Goodrich: So, I can move it along the ground and deposit it up to five feet away and, uh, it doesn’t involve enough force to cause damage, but I could just go down the kind of way that Yashee went, follow behind her.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: You know, use my Mold Earth spell. Excavate out the Piranha Plant, er, what are they called?
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Sorry.
Kyle: Yeah, it’s basically a Piranha Plant. I mean, I- I pulled up deku baba stats-
Goodrich: Okay, gotcha!
Kyle: -online, so yeah.
Goodrich: Um, yeah, so then deposit it out of the way. Then Randy and I can just, uh, go on by.
Kyle: Uh, yeah. Yeah, you know what-
Goodrich: It is done!
Kyle: -that works really well.
[music resumes]
Goodrich: Ah, sweet, it’s a cantrip too, so…
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Sweet!
Kyle: No, just imagine how deep of a hole you could dig with that. Just cast it all day.
Goodrich: I know! It’s the Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Kyle: That’s the Minecraft spell.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: And- I- I am totally thinking of it as Minecraft, so.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: There’s my uh, cube of dirt moving.
Kyle: It’s appropriate for a dwarf.
Goodrich: And I- k-keep on- keep on stepping through. Let’s go.
Kyle: Okay, yeah. You’re able to move past. No problems, so-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Randy, let’s go!
Kyle: Uh, well. The deku baba’s do get to go before you do, Randy.
Spurrier: Okay.
Kyle: So, there is one that’s close enough to attack you, but you do have a- a good enough out [die roll] to do that. I’m gonna say, Raz’ul, the one that you moved was the one that was close to you.
Goodrich: Yes.
Kyle: The one that attacked you.
Goodrich: If that was the one that attacked Yashee, by Yashee, so we’d have a clear path. I’m not sure we ever established that but…?
Kyle: It does lash out and uh, gets a bite on ya, Randy.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh!
Kyle: So, you’re going to take… [die roll] four piercing damage plus one poison. And uh, you’re considered grappled.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh no, come this way! Towards me!
[Spurrier chuckles]
Kyle: But it is-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Over here!
Kyle: It is your turn.
Spurrier: Uh, then I guess I will try to free myself.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: ‘Cause… yeah.
Kyle: Go ahead and give me, uh, either a strength-based escape or a dexterity-based escape, you know, whichever one.
Spurrier: [die roll] That’s a one! [singsong] But I’m a halfling!
Goodrich: Ah, right!
Kyle: Okay, good.
[all laugh]
Spurrier: Phew. Alright. [die roll]
Goodrich: Oh boy.
Spurrier: That is a fifteen plus four.
Kyle: Okay, yeah, you’re able to wriggle your way out of there real easily.
Spurrier: Okay. Uh, well, and that was my action, then, right?
Kyle: That is your action, yes.
Spurrier: Okay, then I will disengage as my bonus action and keep on stepping.
Kyle: Beautiful.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Through- through my way! This way over here, Randy!
Spurrier: And I’m walking along, away from the plants. Alright.
Goodrich: [singing] He’s walking!
Kyle: So, you’re able to get past these piranha-like plants-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright! Hey-
Kyle: -and-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, everyone. We’re sneaking from now on. Pass Without Trace. I don’t know why we didn’t think about it beforehand. [sighs]
Ali (as Yashee): Alright, but we gotta be quick though.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right. Sneaky but quick. So power walk again.
Goodrich: Right, Kyle?
Kyle: Okay, yeah. [Goodrich laughs] If you want to sneak on out there, go ahead and give me those stealth checks.
[music fades]
Ali: I don’t-
Kyle: Same for, uh, We-
Ali: I don’t know if I’m gonna be sneaky.
Goodrich: Aww.
Ali: I kind of-
Kyle: You don’t have to be.
Ali: I’m just kind of wanting to- go-
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: You can go your own way.
Ali: I’m just gonna run.
Goodrich: Okay. Okay. That’s fair. I’m sti-
Ali: You guys- you guys do sneaky-s.
Goodrich: We’ll be doin’ our power walk.
Spurrier: Alright.
Goodrich: So, I- [die roll] I rolled a seven plus ten.
Spurrier: A seventeen plus nine plus ten.
Kyle: Mmkay. Yashee, if you want to try to stealth run, you could roll a sneak at disadvantage?
Goodrich: Okay, but have you ever seen people jazz run in marching band? Like run on your toes?
Ali: Oh yeah! I’ve seen it.
Goodrich: You could kind of do that.
Ali: Especially the backwards stuff.
Goodrich: Yeah, it’s-
Ali: That’s always so fun to watch.
Goodrich: Especially if you’ve got like-
Ali: What is happening down there?
Goodrich: -a bari saxophone around your neck-
Ali: Uh huh.
Goodrich: -that’s super fun.
Ali: Um, no, I-
Kyle: Unless you’re going for a Naruto-
Ali: -a stealth-
Kyle: -ninja through the woods.
Ali: -a stealth run sounds good. Here I, how about-
Kyle: It’s just stealth check at disadvantage-
Ali: -how about…
Kyle: -cause you’re running.
Ali: No, I will stealth run.
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Here we go. [die roll]
Kyle: We’re gonna- about to get a Yashee [die roll] doing an anime run.
[Goodrich chuckle]
Ali: Well, that’s an eleven, so it’s-
Goodrich: Okay, alright.
[dice rolls]
Kyle: Eleven plus the-
Goodrich: Ten.
Ali: Seven.
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Plus ten!
Goodrich: yeah.
Kyle: You- [music starts] -you’re able to- [all chuckle] -book it a little bit quicker-
Goodrich: Jazz run by!
Kyle: -than Randy and Raz’ul. Uh, and y- you’re stealth runnin’ through the woods towards where you hear the commotion going on. Uh, you all eventually reach the edge of the forest and there’s this little bit- er, edge of the forest- edge of this like jungle-esque kind of-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: -atrium.
Goodrich: Yeah, yeah.
Kyle: And you see this small clearing and Tabitha has just kind of wriggled her way out of this large creature that is- it looks like it’s a combined working of different roots and vines all twisted together. Uh, it- it has arms and appendages that end just like tree branches. And you can see there’s bark that make up teeth in an almost just faceless maw on the top. And it’s a bipedal, large plant monster.
Goodrich: So, it’s Groot?
Kyle: No, not quite-
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: -no. No, it’s looks like- well, Hippie Groot.
Goodrich: Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle: Yeah, I’d say it’s Hippie Groot.
Spurrier: Evil, Hippie Groot.
Goodrich: Nice.
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: Huh.
Kyle: It’s a large creature and Tabitha has just managed to wriggle her way out of its grasp. And she lands and begins casting an incantation. Randy, you recognize this as Fire Bolt. A bolt of fire goes out and hits this creature and kind of just dissolves instantly. It seems like it didn’t do really much too effective. And then you see her catch another incantation. And it’s this beam of crackling energy that rips out and uh, it catches this creature on what it- would be its shoulder. And uh, the force damage, it hits it and it kind of knocks it and spins it around. And you can see on its back, embedded in the back of this large, viney mound, is Kage.
Goodrich: Ohh!
Spurrier: Oh!
Kyle: Uh, and you can see his face kind of poking out of it and his eyes are closed and he’s got a purple bite on his bald head.
Spurrier: Okay? Uh, could I tell what type of energy it was that Tabitha sent out after the fire?
[music fades out]
Kyle: Uh, give me an arcana check.
Spurrier: [die roll] That is a nine plus two.
Kyle: Nine plus two? Okay, this is a pretty basic spell. You can tell that this is an evocation spell, of course, ‘cause it’s dealing damage. And you notice that it is, uh, force damage that it delivers. So, it’s literally just kind of pure energy in a way.
Spurrier: Ohh, okay.
Kyle: It’s not elemental.
Goodrich: Was it dark or light, Kyle?
Kyle: It was a beam of crackling energy.
Goodrich: But- the Force damage?
Kyle It- it was-
Goodrich: Never mind! [laughs]
Kyle: -light. Oh, I see what you’re saying now.
Goodrich: Ah, yeah.
Kyle: Yeah, sorry. Whoop! Over my head. [Ali giggles]
Goodrich: No, it’s alright! Um, how far away is Tabitha from us?
Kyle: Uh… probably about thirty feet.
Goodrich: Okay, uh, can we- [whispering] I don’t want to ruin Pass Without Trace, though!
Ali: Ooh, ooh! I actually have something. And I didn’t even think of this.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Spurrier: Okay.
Ali: It’s- [starts laughing]
Goodrich: [chuckling] Okay?
Ali: -this -this is great. I have a new- a cantrip, Message. It- it- I can point right at her and whisper a message and she will hear it.
Goodrich: Oh, sweet!
Ali: I totally forgot about that.
Kyle: Can she respond to it?
Ali: Uh, yes. Yes-
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: -“target may whisper back. Does not have to travel in a straight line.”
Goodrich: Wow!
Ali: Yes.
Goodrich: That’s handy!
Ali: “Point to target and” [with voiced “h”] “whisper.”
[players laugh]
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Ah, I can’t believe I forgot about this!
Kyle: Alright.
Ali: Wow.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
[music resumes]
Ali (as Yashee): Oh wait, guys. I have this cool spell.
[players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, yeah?
Ali (as Yashee): I’m gonna just whisper to her. Don’t worry, she’ll hear me. [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): But how will she over thirty feet, Yashee?
Ali (as Yashee): Well, turns out my whispers go a hundred and twenty!
Goodrich: Holy freaking… okay!
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: Are you sending out an SOS?
Ali: [big breath] Well actually-
[Goodrich humming]
[music fades out]
Ali: -now that you mention it.
[all laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): A-one, two, three, four!
[Ali, on drums, and Kyle, on bass, play along while Yashee sings a la The Police’s “Sending Out an SOS”]
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
I hope that Tabby gets my-
I hope that Tabby gets my-
[Goodrich chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): [continuing to sing]
I hope that Tabby gets my
Message that I whisper
Yeah…
Goodrich: [chuckling] Oh.
[Kyle laughs]
Ali: So, I’m going to point and uh, whisper at Tabby-
Kyle: What are you-
Ali: -over there.
Kyle: -whispering?
Ali: I’m gonna point and I’m gonna say-
Goodrich: [singing a la “Total Eclipse of the Heart”] Turn around…
[all chuckle]
[background music starts]
Ali (as Yashee): [whispering] Hey, Tabitha. Look! We’re right behind you! Hi! Look at us!
Kyle: You see her head kind of cock and she like gives you a side glance and you hear back in your head-
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] We have to get Kage out of that monster.
Ali (as Yashee): [whispering] Okay, but like how?
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] Pull him out.
Ali (a Yashee): Oh.
Kyle: And that’s probably the extent of the message. I mean, it’s usually one there, one back.
Goodrich: Well, and she’s like trying to do some sweet spells, too, so…
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: I’ll tell you guys about what she said about the plant monster and getting him out of there.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah, did you- did you ask her if she speaks, like, Common? Or do I need to like-
Ali (as Yashee): I could only ask like-
Goodrich: -burn a third level spell slot?
Ali (as Yashee): -I could only really ask like one thing. [Goodrich sighs] Or two, so…
Goodrich: Tabitha, just look at us, over here.
Kyle: Unless you want to play-
Ali: Well, I don’t want to-
Kyle: -the song again and cast it. It is a cantrip, right?
Ali: Yeah, I’ll play it again.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Okay.
[frenzied drums sounds]
Kyle: Yeah, we get it! What do you want to say?
[players chuckle]
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, wait, no, like does it speak our language? Can we talk to him? It?
Kyle (as Tabitha): [whispering] No, it’s a plant! And he is not it.
[music fades out]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Say no more!
[players chuckle]
[new background music starts]
Goodrich: And then I-
Ali (as Yashee): It’s your time to shine, buddy!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, okay! Uh! [breathing heavily] Hooh, hooh.
Goodrich: So, I cast Speak with Plants.
Ali and Spurrier: Yay!
Kyle: Okay?
Ali: Yes, there it is!
Spurrier: Yay…
Goodrich: Oh, boy.
Ali: I’ve been waiting.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah. And uh, I walk out, say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey! Hey, uh, Kage? Y- are you in there? Kage? Hello?
Kyle: And uh, as you’re walking out and talking, this thing makes two large strikes at Tabitha. Which, she dodges them, uh, effortlessly. But then, when you start talking to it, it turns and looks at you. And you see uh, what would be its mouth move. Again, it’s just kind of like a weird maw with like bark for teeth.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: And it says-
Kyle (as Hippie Groot): [distorted, low voice] No, I’m not Kage, I am feeding. Anything. Hungry. [big inhale]
Spurrier: Hmm.
Kyle (as Hippie Groot): [distorted, low voice] You will be food for me too, mm.
Kyle: And he starts lumbering towards you.
Ali: Lumbering… [Goodrich chuckles] Hahahahaha!
[all pointedly laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Should we go get help, maybe? Like, I don’t- er- uh-
Kyle: Tabitha makes an attack at it and misses. The thing reaches and backhands and like winds up hitting her. And she braces herself, takes a pretty good hit, but slides about like five feet from the force of this creature’s slam.
Goodrich: Okay if I were to cast Hold Person- this doesn’t count as a human-
Kyle: No…
Goodrich: It’s a humanoid, right? Like-
Kyle: [giggles] No.
Goodrich: But is a humanoid plant-
Kyle: You just used Talk to Plants-
Goodrich: [sighing] Yeah.
Kyle: -to talk to it.
Goodrich: But a humanoid could be a human-shaped plant??
Kyle: You’re not wrong. But you’re not right in this situation.
[Goodrich sighs while Ali and Spurrier chuckle]
Goodrich: Ohhhkay.
Ali: Now by right do you mean write a song??
Goodrich: No!
Kyle: No, no, no!
[Ali laughing]
Goodrich: Kyle?
Kyle: I mean, you- you can always write a song whenever you want to. Or maybe I mean Tabitha write…
Goodrich: [sharp inhale] Oh! Would Tabitha like to play a song with us? You said she has her instrument, right?
Kyle: Yeah, she does have her instrument.
Goodrich: Which is what again?
Kyle: Uh, right now she’s holding the aulos that she was playing when y’all first sparred. Which is that recorder-type instrument that-
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, Tabitha. Normally, when we encounter these sorts of situations, we uh, write a song? Kind of to diffuse them. Would you like to take part? Possibly maybe?
Kyle: And she kind of has a wide-eyed look at you and she says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): What… would you be able to do with a song in this situation?
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh ho ho.
Ali (as Yashee): Probably a bunch of stuff, I mean, you know…
Goodrich: Tabitha doesn’t listen to bomBARDed, I guess…
[players laugh]
Goodrich: But… Ooh, boy!
Kyle (as Tabitha): I’d be interested to see. Sure.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay! Cool, just uh, you know, play along! Uh, da-doo-da-doo-da-doo…
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay?
Spurrier (as Randy): Just kind of follow us, you’ll feel it out.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Right…
Ali (as Yashee): Here, so. Here’s a chord dice, alright? So, we’re gonna roll these-
Goodrich: Wait, are we there now?
[all laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, I guess, if y’all want to write a song, [music fades out] let’s go ahead and roll some chord dice and figure out all the other deets.
[digital transition music, “Chord Dice!” plays]
Goodrich: Alright! So, before we do aaanything, let’s roll the d12- ‘cause, I mean, we’re just gonna pick a random key, right?
Spurrier: Oh, yeah.
Ali: Yeah.
[die roll]
Goodrich: Alright, the first one is two! C sharp.
Ali: C sharp.
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Perfect.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: Or D flat, if you’re, you know-
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: -into flats. Sooo… major? minor?
Spurrier: Maybe minor?
Ali: I think it might be a minor time.
Goodrich: I was-
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: I was kinda wanting to write like a real ethereal type of thing… kind of like a chill-
Spurrier: I mean-
Goodrich: -minor-
Spurrier: -minor can be really chill, too.
Goodrich: -can be chill, too. Yeah.
Spurrier: Yeah. We throw-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: -throw some extensions on there.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: We can really mellow it out.
Kyle: Get some sandwiches in there-
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: -and a Natty Lite.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: Be real chill, bro.
Goodrich: It’s chill, bro.
Ali: So, chill minor?
Goodrich: Chill minor.
Spurrier: Chill minor!
Kyle: Chill minor.
Spurrier: Hopefully [dice rolls] the drums concur with that.
Goodrich: Aw.
[multiple dice rolls]
Spurrier: Well, wonderful.
Goodrich: [laughing] Ah jeez.
Spurrier: We have three C sharp minors and an E.
Kyle: HA!
[players laugh]
Ali: [inhale] It’s like old times.
Goodrich: Yeah!
Spurrier: It is like old times, oh boy.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Alright, drums!
Ali: Drums, here we go! Any specialty drums? Or let’s just see what happens.
Spurrier: Yeah-
Kyle: Yeah, time signature?
[coin flip]
Spurrier: Let’s just go for it.
Ali: Okay. We got the uh, preset bank. [die roll] Seventeen…
Goodrich: [singing] Seventeen…
Ali: That’s a Rock 7.
Goodrich: Rock 7.
Ali: [shaking dice] And then the kit is… [die roll] Twenty-four! Fusion 03.
Goodrich: Oh!
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Rock fusion!
Ali: Rockfusion.
Goodrich: But we need to like un-fusion him from-
Kyle: Ooh, yeah.
Ali: Well then.
Goodrich: Guess we-
Spurrier: Rock-
Ali: Welp.
Goodrich: -guess we failed!
Spurrier: Rock fission!
Ali: [giggling] Rock fission?
[all laugh]
Spurrier: It’s fine, we can do that.
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: Alright, well y’all fizz it up and uh, listeners, talk to you in a moment.
[digital riff transition]
[song from Vol 1 OST, “Middle Bit” begins]
Kyle: Hey everyone, it’s your Dungeon Maestro, Kyle here. Just wanted to thank you again for sitting at the table with us. And I’m gonna go ahead and pop the special news to ya. Coming down on April 2, we’re gonna have Chaos Sauce Vol 3 dropping on our Bandcamp. Goodrich went back in, put a nice coat of polish on all those songs that we did between episodes 21 and 30. An uh, you know, there’s- uh, I think one or two extras in there. But that’s gonna be dropping for you April 2. Pay what you want. Get it, listen to it whenever you’d like. And of course, two weeks after that, on April 16, we’ll be dropping OST Vol 3. Again, Goodrich and Spurrier, tag team, back again. Laying down another OST for you, just making it sound a little bit better than it does in the show. And pay what you want on that, too. So, April 2: Chaos Sauce Vol 3, April 16: OST Vol 3.
Kyle (continued): And from there, I’m gonna move on to our sponsor this week. And we have an interesting one which is a book! It’s called Occultist, book 1 in the Saga Online series. It’s supposed to be something like a mix between Ready Player 1 and Skyrim. I’ve read the first few chapters and I have to say, I’m enjoying it so far. It’s dry, witty writing, that reminds be a bit of Terry Pratchett. So, uh, to give you a kind of a synopsis, uh, Damien thought his exams would be bad enough. Then his mother collapsed with a failing heart. In a desperate move Damien throws himself into the Streamer Contest of Saga Online, the latest fantasy VR-MMORPG. Winning will provide the funds for his mother’s surgery. Yet, early betrayal and a close run in with a vampire almost ruin his attempt before he even begins. He's stuck at the bottom of a dungeon with no gear, no allies, and little hope. Damien must embrace the undiscovered Occultist class, master control of his demonic minions, and take the contest by storm. His plan is simple enough. Topple the most famous player in Saga Online. So, summon your imps and prepare for battle!
Kyle (continued): So, you know, if that sounds like something you’d like to check out, they have it available on Audible and Kindle and uh, you can- you can get that wherever you’d like. Again, that’s Occultist, book 1 in the Saga Online series. Check it out.
Kyle (continued): Okay, so other than that, I’ve got the normal bizz for ya: bombardedcast.com for all of your bomBARDed needs. That’ll give you links to the Bandcamp, or, of course, social media. Search @bombardedcast and if you’re posting about it, use the hashtag #bardcast. So uh, just to eliminate all my ramblings, ‘cause I know you want to hear what those bards are gonna do, let’s go!
[music fades out]
[digital riff transition]
Goodrich: So, Kyle, does Ali have to like speak in plant language for our song for the spell to work?
Kyle: No.
Goodrich: [sighs] Ohhhkay!
Ali (as Yashee): Well, alright then. I guess I’m- I’m gonna take lead. Hey, guys, uh, follow my lead. And Tabitha, you know, feel free to jump in on some parts, if you want. Yeah, but you’re gonna hear me lay down some- some- [Goodrich chuckles] -some fire here! I’m just telling you now, okay!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, Tabitha! Check out what Yashee can do!
Kyle (as Tabitha): Oh- okay, I look forward to it, Yashee. But fire didn’t work out too well earlier…
Goodrich: Oh! Sure. [laughs]
Ali (as Yashee): Well, here it goes! I mean, I know it’s been a while, but… have you guys heard any of ma-nure rhymes?
[all snort and laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What?!
Ali (as Yashee): You know what, let’s just start it up. You’ll see.
[intro of song, “Ep 33, Chow Down” begins]
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
Stop, put your plans on hold
Listen up and you’ll be sold
‘Cause we got something just for you
That you’ll be thrilled to chew
We whipped up a tasty treat
It’s tempting, with a smell so sweet
That fertilized aroma goes
Right up your mossy nose
Bards: [Goodrich and Spurrier sing “na” bits between Ali singing]
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
Got rave reviews
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
And you’re our muse
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
Five-star cuisine
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
Best you ever seen
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
Forget Kage, this grub’s the best
Your vines can’t wait to try that zest
We can see you’re salivating
So, drop that dude and stop debating
Time’s up cause dinner’s served!
A big plate of what you deserve!
We made it with all we got
So get it while it’s hot
Bards: [Goodrich and Spurrier sing “na” bits between Ali singing]
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
You’ll love the taste
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
That we create
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
That stanky chow
Na na na na na na na na nommmm
Come get it now
[music ends]
Kyle: Okay, so, Yashee, you direct people to begin playing the music. [instrumental version of “Ep 33, Chow Down” begins] And, uh, of course, as soon as you start rockin’ out and the magic of your instruments flows forth and begins to swirl around.
Goodrich: And it kinda smells this time!
[all laugh]
Kyle: There’s a hint of stank to it, for sure.
Goodrich: Ooh.
Kyle: And not the stank we’re used to, listeners.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: Right! Aural stank.
Kyle: It begins to flow around and about the end of the chorus, is when- when Tabitha drops out and that’s because this is when your magic takes shape into a large, voluptuous-looking bag of manure.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Right.
Kyle: And uh, the- the giant, shambling mound turns and looks at it. And you just see immediately, like, Kage’s body kinda sinks into the body of this creature and then just kind of falls out the bottom of it. [Goodrich laughs] And then the giant, shambling mound starts making its way over to the big bag of fertilizer. And at this point, uh, Tabitha goes over and it looks like she’s trying to drag Kage away.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Ali: Right.
Kyle: But, this thing-
Goodrich: She’s like holding her nose. Eugh yeah!
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Yeah, um. But this thing’s lumbering over and it pulls out one of its long, viney arms to wrap around the bag of fertilizer, and it’s at this point that it realizes you’ve created an illusion for it.
Goodrich: Agh!
Kyle: And so it begins to like stomp. And you can tell it’s getting angry. And then it turns back to look at the four of you and unconscious Kage on the ground. And you just hear it let out this bellowing roar.
Goodrich: It was like, “That song was so crappy!!”
Kyle: Uh, and you can see Tabitha’s staring it down [music fades out] with a frantic look on her face, trying to drag Kage away.
[background music starts, “Ep 33, The Shambling Mound”]
Ali: Agh! Okay, I’ll go over and grab, uh, Kage off the ground. Just like-
Ali (as Yashee): Hurry up, let’s go!
Kyle: Okay, so you pick up Kage and you sling him over your shoulder. And Tabitha’s just- just staring at you like, “Whoaaa…”
[Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Ali: Uh… I’m gonna grab her by the hand, just kind of pull her like-
Ali (as Yashee): We gotta get out of here, hurry up!
Kyle: Okay, so… [Ali giggles] she uh… [Goodrich chuckles] when you grab her by the hand, she stuffs the end of her sweater sleeve in her mouth.
Ali: [laughs] Okay!
Goodrich: [laughing] Aww.
Kyle: And she’s just blushing hard core at you. [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Come on, let’s go!
Ali: And I’m like-
Ali (as Yashee): Hurry up, come on!
Kyle: Okay. So, you’re preparing to go. This large plant-monster is just- looks like it’s about to bear down on you as it begins lumbering towards you, just yelling and shouting… whatever a plant would!
Goodrich: Right.
[players laugh]
Kyle: -that’s super mad about being tricked!
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: So, give me some dexterity checks.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: Sixteen.
Ali: Seven.
Spurrier: Uh, fourteen plus four.
Kyle: Okay, so, Randy and Raz’ul, you’re good to go. Uh, you’re able to jump over some of the difficult terrain that’s in the way as you’re running away. And uh, Yashee and Tabitha, they’re having a little bit of a troubling time carrying Kage. But, uh, they slowly make it and they’re almost at the edge before this thing just erupts towards- and the, you know, the flower- Piranha Plants that popped up earlier, they try to pop up as this thing walks by it. And uh, these Piranha Plants bite into it.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Oh jeez.
Kyle: And keep its foot locked into place as it’s trying to struggle. And- which gives Yashee and Tabitha just enough time to get through the doorway.
Spurrier: Phew.
Goodrich: Hoo-
Kyle: And uh-
Goodrich: -it’s a plant-eat-plant world, out there!
Kyle: Yeah. You see, as you’re closing the door, you see the uh, the large, lumbering, shambling mound of vegetation rip these two plants out of their roots and just drag them along with it as it barrels towards the door. But unfortunately, you had enough time to close it to where you just hear the thud [music ends] on the other side of the door as you close it. So, you’re safe inside the work shed again. Every-
Goodrich: [laughing] I wouldn’t say safe, Kyle!
Kyle: [laughing] Relatively!
Goodrich: Okay.
Spurrier: But it’s all locked the way that it was?
[background music starts, “Ep 33, Back in the Workshop”]
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: Phew.
Goodrich: Okay.
Spurrier: Alright, good.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whewww!!!
Kyle: Tabitha’s leaning up against the wall and just going-
Kyle (as Tabitha): [breathing heavily] Ah, okay. Okay. You don’t- you don’t have a purple mark, do you?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, d-
Ali (as Yashee): No.
Spurrier (as Randy): No.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -do I? I don’t know! Agh! [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich: I start spinning around in a circle.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): We’re good.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, we’re fine.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Good to check yourselves, just in case.
Ali: Check on Kage? How’s he doing down there?
Kyle: Kage is unconscious, exhibiting the same symptoms that most of the other unconscious victims have uh- are suffering.
Goodrich: Hey!
Ali: Okay.
Goodrich: How’s Weemo-weh doing?
[players laugh]
Kyle: Weemo-weh? Weemo-weh’s been chilling, waiting for your guidance.
Goodrich: Aw jeez! Right, he’s just been sitting at the door, like, “Oh, look at them go!”
Kyle: No, just following you around. I mean-
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: -waiting for you to tell him to do… whatever you want him to do.
Goodrich: Right. [Ali and Spurrier chuckle] Maybe taking little naps, you know… ‘cause of his namesake… like [singing] in the jungle, [Kyle snorts] the mighty jungle…
[all laugh]
Goodrich: [singing] The Weemo sleeps!
Kyle: It is kind of a jungle-esque sort of-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: -place, you know. But uh, no, just waiting.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, alright. So, uh, d- y- Tabitha? Hey! Good playing back there! That was awesome!
Kyle (as Tabitha): Thanks. Uh… fantastic playing on y’all’s part. Uh, what- what was that?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. So… like, there’s this thing… that when we play some songs together, that kind of stuff happens.
Spurrier (as Randy): Occasionally. Not every time.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. I don’t know why. And I think actually Alola told us to keep it on the DL, if you don’t mind. Uh…
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Apparently other students can do it too-
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, upperclassmen.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -but it’s, yeah…
Spurrier (as Randy): Apparently, we’re not supposed to be able to do it yet.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, also?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Keep your eye out on Alola. She kinda sent us to this weird place and Splash didn’t know that we were there, and she told him something different. I don’t know! There’s lots of stuff going on that- maybe just be careful.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Huh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, and also taking a step back. Why were you in here?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, what’s up?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Well, uh. I was concerned because we hadn’t found Kage and uh, um… well- u- I- Kage has talked to me a little bit about his secret atrium, just because, you know, there’s… you get to know some of the people. I like to talk around and get to know the faculty that are around here, especially the less- the less uh, well-known ones, such as Kage.
Goodrich: [snickering] The B-roll.
[players laugh]
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah, he’s-
Goodrich: NPCs-
Ali: B-team, yeah.
Goodrich: Yeah!
Kyle (as Tabitha): He- he- he plays his role in making sure the upkeep of the school is, you know, beautiful, that we have a great place to stay at. He does a lot of unseen work around here and I find that admirable.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, you’re saying… that if you were to see through his eyes, you would see the school in a whole new light? Possibly learning secrets that you wouldn’t otherwise know.
[Ali giggles]
Kyle (as Tabitha): I don’t know but uh… you know, Kage is- Kage has been here-
Goodrich: The whole time-
Kyle (as Tabitha): -for a while.
Goodrich: -I’m asking that, I’m reaching down.
Ali: Uh huh.
Goodrich: Grab some hair.
Kyle: [snickers] From- from-
Goodrich: I can finally get some hair! Like I’ve been jonesing for some hair, so Raz’ul’s like, [Ali laughs] “Yes.”
Kyle: Right, you reach down to try to uh, pull hair without looking. And you feel- and you feel just that big, bald spot on his- on his head.
Goodrich: [laughing] Ha, ha! Okay.
Kyle: And then you remember, oh yeah. There’s hair on the side.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: And Tabitha’s like-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Are you rubbing his-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, it’s for good luck. I, uh, some of the students-
Kyle (as Tabitha): That’s where-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): -have said-
Kyle (as Tabitha): -the bite is, don’t- I wouldn’t touch-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ahh!!! Oh jeez!
[Ali laughs]
Kyle (as Tabitha): Oh my gosh.
Spurrier (as Randy): And so, the tree isn’t biting people? The tree is a separate thing?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Uh, they usually aren’t as violent like that. Typically, I believe what Kage has told me in the past is that he would like to start some form of uh- you know, music meets nature kind of wing, but-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mmm.
Kyle (as Tabitha): -he’s been kind of building this in secret, I think. Um-
Goodrich: Raz’ul strokes his chin.
[Ali chuckles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Music meets nature, you say? Mm.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah. Um, he- he thinks there’s some people who might enjoy that.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Definitely.
Kyle (as Tabitha): But no, the- the- normally- normally they’re not as uh- as violent. They- something must have happened. Whatever is causing these infected students, must have gotten in there somehow. Of course, you know, there’s different vents and passageways all over the school that something could’ve squeezed in, depending on how tiny it is. I mean, it can’t be something big if it’s sneaking around everywhere.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sure.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right. So, the tree is infected too, then, is what you’re saying?
Kyle (as Tabitha): I believe so, yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay. That’s good. Uh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, Tabitha, we have these masks. Put one of these on, just in case.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Okay.
Kyle: Yeah, and she puts on one.
Ali: We’ll put one on Kage too. Does he need one?
Kyle (as Tabitha): I- I’ve sprayed him with the pymaricin so he should be docile for a good while.
Ali (as Yashee): Maybe we should load up these backpack tanks and-
Spurrier (as Randy): Get back, yeah.
Kyle (as Tabitha): I agree. I think that’s a good call. Uh, with the- with the pymaricin we’ll be able to clear out anything we might come across the way. Uh, when I left, Nurse Odejoy only had a few bits left, so.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright!
Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s do it.
Kyle: Okay. As y’all are getting ready to head out, you’re filling up the tanks and everything, and you’re making sure the pymaricin’s all loaded in there and that the sprayers work and whatnot. And there’s three packs. Each of you can use one if you want to put it on. Or Tabitha can have one, depending on what you want to do. But uh, Tabitha is also kind of prepping Kage to like take him back as well. So he-
Ali: Is there a wheelbarrow or something in there that she could-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ail: -use?
Kyle: There is a wheelbarrow! [players laugh]
Ali: Ah, perfect.
Kyle: She’s kinda looking around, she doesn’t know. Do you- do you say something to her about a wheelbarrow?
Ali: Yeah.
Kyle: Yeah. She’s kinda-
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, hey, Tabitha-
Kyle: -looking around she’s like-
Ali (as Yashee): -instead of dragging him, you could stick him in that cart over there.
Kyle (as Tabitha): Oh! That’s a good call, Yashee. Would you mind grabbing that for me? I’m- I’m gonna get something for Kage just in case, uh… things go for the worse. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.
Kyle: And she goes over to his workbench. And the picture I mentioned earlier, she takes that off and she kinda looks at it and smiles and puts it in his pocket.
Goodrich: Aw. Cool!
Spurrier: Alright!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, good to go? Yeah?
Ali: Right, alright. Well, I’ll load Kage into the wheelbarrow? Wagon?
Kyle: It’s a wheelbarrow.
Goodrich: Alright.
Ali: Wheelbarrow.
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Okay.
Spurrier: Could the canister fit in there? ‘Cause you said there’d be some leftover once the backpacks were filled up.
Kyle: Yeah, you could put it on top of Kage.
Spurrier: Okay.
[Goodrich snickers]
Kyle: It looks like it’s mildly uncomfortable, but he’s unconscious, so…
Spurrier: Yeah, good.
Goodrich: He’ll be fine.
Spurrier: We need to bring that so.
Ali: Saddle him in there, too. So, he can’t like-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: -wiggle out.
Kyle: Okay. There is some rope.
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh god.
Kyle: Are you gonna tie him to the barrel?
Ali: No, no-
Goodrich: I think-
Ali: -I meant the weight of the canister will hold him down-
Kyle: Oh, okay, got it.
Goodrich: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ali: -so he won’t like, bump around.
Kyle: Gotcha.
Goodrich: And I make sure to get some hair. You know, I mean, I’m not sure that was explicitly said, but I got some!
[Ali chuckles]
Kyle: Yeah, you finally made your way to getting some.
[music fades out]
Goodrich: Although, I’m not organizing it in my pocket, so that could be fun later-
[players laugh]
Ali: [laughing] It’s just-
Goodrich: [laughing] -whenever we-
Kyle: Yeah, I- that’s your issue now.
Goodrich: Yup.
Kyle: You might want-
Ali: Hopefully it’s like-
Kyle: -to mention that moving forward.
Ali: -different colored enough to where you can, um, you know, get through it and…
Goodrich: Hey, Kyle? Have you fleshed out all your NPC’s hair yet?
[Spurrier chuckles]
Kyle: Yeah. [Goodrich laughs] I’ve done that!
Goodrich: [chuckling] Okay! Cool.
Kyle: Uh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright. Oh! Before we go. Hey Tabitha?
Kyle (as Tabitha): Yeah?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We have this cool spell called Pass Without Trace that you can maybe get in on.
Goodrich: Can- can she just roll, Kyle? She wasn’t there when I cast it, but she’s-
Kyle: Yeah, yeah, you can assign new targets whenever they get in there. So, let’s see how she does. [die roll]
Goodrich: Cool!
Kyle: [die roll] She- she did good. She-
Goodrich: Oh! So stealthy.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: And also, real quick. If I were to ride Lion, like I was talking about earlier…
Kyle: Right.
Goodrich: Uh, ‘cause I was just, you know, perusing over Lion’s little stats here, and Lion does have a plus six to stealth so-
Kyle: Mmhm.
Goodrich: -I have a plus nothin’, so…
Kyle: Right, uh. I’d say you could roll stealth at advantage.
Goodrich: Okay. So, I could still-
Kyle: But you’d still need to roll for Lion.
Goodrich: -I could still like sneeze and stuff. [die roll]
Kyle: Yeah. Things can just go wrong, you know-
Goodrich: Oh!
Kyle: -you wind up farting or something. [Ali laughs]
Goodrich: Well, that was a two for Lion and a [two die roll] seven for me. So that’s eighteen for Lion and seventeen for me. So, we’re both being pretty stealthy.
Kyle: You’re- you’re right there with each other. Okay.
Goodrich: But I’m riding Lion, which is pretty cool!
Ali: [giggles] You know, you’re bonding.
Goodrich and Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: Exactly.
Ali: It’s a thing.
Kyle: And he’s not used to being ridden. Or being anything at all considering this is the first time Lion’s ever been- or Weemo has ever been summoned. [Ali laughs]
Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah, right! Or existed!
Kyle: So, you’re heading out. Is anybody else stealthing?
Spurrier: I think so.
Ali: Yeah, I- I think we could all do that.
[die roll]
Kyle: Mkay.
Spurrier: [die roll] That is a twelve plus nine plus ten!
Ali: And mine’s a ten plus one plus ten, so… twenty-one.
Kyle: Okay. Cool, cool, cool. Everybody got like a seventeen or higher.
Goodrich: Yes.
Ali: Alright!
Kyle: Yeah, so uh, yeah. [background music starts, “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. II”] You’re able to sneakily make your way out of the- out of the workshop.
Ali: And I’ll actually push the wheelbarrow and let Tabitha have the backpack.
Kyle: Okay, yeah. She’s-
Ali: Make things a little easier.
Kyle: -got one of the backpacks rocking. You’re pushing the wheelbarrow. Um, so yeah. In that manner, you’re moving forward through the school. You arrive back to the end hallway that leads into the dormitory common areas where the elevators are located. Of course, you hear the same shambling of people that were there before. It sounds like they’re a little bit more active.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. Uh, sounds a little bit more active in there. Maybe we should super duper sneak in there.
Goodrich: We can just use our same stealth roll, riiiiight??
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: Yeah, you can maintain the same stealth roll if you want to keep moving forward.
Ali (as Yashee): Let’s try it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Agh, sneak into the room, yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Give it a go.
Kyle: Mmkay. With your stealth, you’re able to move in quietly and you’re unnoticed. But, while you’re walking through here, you notice that all of the infected students in this area have seemed to make their way towards one of the, uh, one of the elevators.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: And you notice some of them are actually starting to climb the walls?
Goodrich: Oh, World War Z.
[players laugh]
Kyle: And they’re climbing up - almost like they’re spiders. Just like, you know Spider-Man-ing up-
[Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: -the bassoon elevator. Specifically, the bassoon elevator is being climbed up. And you notice as you’re following them up, you can see something is actually in the elevator riding it up.
Goodrich: Ohh!
Kyle: The only thing you get a glimpse of are just the bottom of some boots before the elevator disappears.
Goodrich: Hashtag #WheresSplash?
[all laugh]
Goodrich: Is it Splash?
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: So, but you know, uh, from what you’ve seen and what you’ve gathered, you know somebody rode the elevator up. And it must have attracted the attention of these infected students.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, sucks for them.
Ali (as Yashee): Let’s get past here!
[Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, we need to make a cure- we can put this on the mental backlog.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): And uh, get back to that.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sneak past all of ‘em.
Ali (as Yashee): Yep.
Kyle: You’re able to sneak past it. You make it back into the hallway that goes past some of the classrooms that you go to and also leads you to the offices. Uh, as you’re making your way back it’s- it’s fairly quiet. You hear the sounds of infected students down some hallways as you pass them, but you’re moving really quietly. And… you get to a certain classroom that you’ve been in before, it’s like you’re- you’re, uh, ear training classroom. And there’s some windows on the wall that you can see through. And you notice there is- it looks like the- this room’s been barricaded.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: And you can see that there’s a single student in there, just standing and milling about in the same fashion as being infected.
Ali: Eugh.
Goodrich: Perception [starts breaking down in laughter] check, again? I guess?
Kyle: Yeah. Yeah, if you want to try again, give me a perception check.
[Goodrich sighs]
Spurrier: [sighs] I’ll try.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: There we go! [die roll] Nineteen plus five!
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: Sixteen plus three.
Ali: And mine’s a seven plus two.
Kyle: Mkay. Yashee, you don’t notice this, but Randy and Raz’ul, you do. The student is just milling around in there and you’re kind of looking at the- at the room. Yeah, you notice it’s a pretty nice barricade. Uh, they obviously got in there soon enough and barricaded themselves in. But something stands out by one of the vents on the wall, like up near the ceiling. You notice there’s something glistening near it, looks shiny.
Goodrich: Ah, it’s like one of those things you can pick up in Uncharted. [Spurrier laughs] It’s a little collectible?
Kyle: It looks like something on the wall is shiny. Like there’s a- there’s a sheen of something.
Goodrich: Ohhhh.
Spurrier: As though something’s like coming down the wall? Kinda like-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: -oozing or something? Okay.
Kyle: Something like that.
Spurrier: And we can’t- this is inside the room. Like we can- we can just see it, we can’t actually get to it, right?
Kyle: Yeah, you can see into the room, but again, the door is barricaded.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Should we also come back to this scenario…
Spurrier (as Randy): I feel like we should make a cure but… what do you guys think?
Goodrich: From our perception check we can tell that that person is infected, right?
Kyle: Oh yeah.
Goodrich: Oh okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Look, they’re not going anywhere.
Spurrier: Do our, uh-
Ali (as Yashee): Nothing we can do here.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Should we just spray ‘em real quick and press on?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): But then-
Ali (as Yashee): Depends on who it is! Let’s tap on the glass. [Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich: Well, can we see from the perception check who it is? Or are they just facing the other way?
Kyle: Uh- you- they’re kinda milling around. It’s a student you’re not really familiar with.
Goodrich: Aw.
Ali (as Yashee): Leave ‘em. [laughs]
Goodrich: No-named NPC, that makes it super easy! [laughs]
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Oh. Sorry, Kyle! You looked upset.
[players laugh]
Kyle: Hey, no, it’s totally fine.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, look. Let’s maybe just come back. Uh…
Spurrier (as Randy): The mental notes are stacking…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): The mental notes are stacking, yes!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yes.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Keep on trucking. Down the hallway.
Kyle: Mmkay. You- you come to the intersection where you encountered those- the three infected students that you kind of blew past.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: One of them you didn’t knock down, the other two you kind of incapacitated. Not with the s- not with the aid of the spray, but you still incapacitated them. But you notice that all three are gone.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Phew. I guess. Eugh. Keep going then?
Spurrier (as Randy): Dumb luck.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Ali (as Yashee): They must be having a meeting somewhere-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Spurrier: Climbing up the walls. All hanging out. [Kyle giggles] Oh boy.
Goodrich: Okay. Well, we keep going, Kyle. You’re freaking us out a little bit, but… just-
Kyle: Okay. So you’re making it back and… everybody give me a perception check.
Goodrich: Ah jeez.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: Six plus five.
Spurrier: Fourteen plus three.
Ali: And a twelve plus two.
Kyle: Okay. So, Randy and Yashee, you’re passing another intersection and it’s the one that leads to the cafeteria, and you can hear the faint like, you know, shouts, like, [distant voice] “Hey! Help! Help!”
[Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier (as Randy): [sighs] Oh man.
Ali (as Yashee): Leave ‘em. [players laugh] I’m just kidding, let’s go for it! Somebody’s in there, we gotta help them!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What? Where? Wh-? Who? What?
Ali (as Yashee): A real person!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Where?
Kyle: Tabitha says-
Kyle (as Tabitha): I bet there’s a lot of people who need help, but we should really try to get this back to Nurse Odjeoy as soon as possible. We can drop it off and we can get back out there and help these people. I’m down to clown.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, oohh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Ooh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool. Um, yeah, I’m with Tabs on this one. Let’s get to Odejoy.
Ali: Can we see into the cafeteria? Like-
Kyle: No, it’s-
Ali: -can we see who it is?
Kyle: -down the hallway. And then there’s the door-
Goodrich: Does it sound like Alto Brown?
Kyle: [inhales] Yeah, it does a little bit.
Goodrich: [sighing] Agh jeez.
Kyle: It’s very distant, so it’s hard to say, but you know, you probably think it might be.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, Alto Brown didn’t remember me the last time I saw him so… [chuckles]
Ali (as Yashee): He’s never gonna-
[all laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): -make us sandwiches again if we- if he finds out we left him here, guys!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh… [splutters] B- but what if he does find out? [Ali laughs]
Goodrich: What are you doing to us? We just wanna… Kyle!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aw… jeez. Look. If he gets bit, then, you know. We can give him the cure. If he gets got though, then that’s on us, for sure. But hopefully, we can just get back to him soon enough? Look. I don’t know, man. Like this is some hard s-stuff. I’m feeling like we’ve been set up to just get this spray back to Odejoy town… so…
Kyle (as Tabitha): I mean, that’s what got me in my predicament-
Kyle: -says Tabitha-
[players laugh]
Kyle (as Tabitha): -is that, uh… I was going to do this and then I realized, oh no, somebody needs help (Kage). And… next thing you know, I’m in not the best situation.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Great point, Tabitha. I’m with her. Let’s keep going to Odejoy.
Ali (as Yashee): Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, we just have a lot we’ve got to do-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes.
Spurrier (as Randy): -after that.
Goodrich: (as Raz’ul): We’re all making notes, right?
Spurrier (as Randy): But, yeah.
Ali (as Yashsee): [calling out] I’m sorry, Altoooo!
[all chuckle]
Kyle: So, you yell this down, you hear a, “Hello?!”
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh my gosh!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Do you want to split the party? I mean, uh… maybe safety in numbers. I go with Tabitha, you go with Randy, or you go with Tabitha, I go with Randy. What do you want to do? We gotta hurry though.
Ali (as Yashee): Uh… Um…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh uh…
Ali (as Yashee): Anyone? I don’t know.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s split up. Let’s do it. I mean- I- I don’t know. I’m at a loss, here. We’ve got to… ah. Ah. Ah. Starting to freak out.
[players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yashee. Tabitha. You guys-
Ali (as Yashee): Somebody has to take Kage back with the canisters.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes. That should be you. You’re strong and also already hauling him.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright. Do you two want to go try to find-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’ll go find Alto.
Ali (as Yashee): -Alto?
Spurrier (as Randy): [sighing] Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s do it.
Spurrier (as Randy): Alright.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Randy, hop up here on Weemo.
Spurrier (as Randy): [chuckling] Alright.
Ali (as Yashee): Just go check it out. If you can’t do it, just, you know, come meet up with us.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. Sounds great.
Kyle: Okay. So, we are splitting the party.
Goodrich: Yep.
Kyle: So, Tabitha and Yashee are heading back to the offices with the pymaricin spray and… Kage. And the Randy and Raz’ul are going to be heading to the cafeteria to see if Alto Brown can be helped, or whoever is shouting down there.
[music fades out]
Goodrich: Yes. And before, uh Yashee and Tabitha leave, I yank on Yashee’s shirt. I guess, and say-
[background music starts, “Ep 33, Hair Harvest”]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey. So, real quick. Um, see if you can get some of Alola’s hair while you’re in there, okay?
Kyle: God.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sorry. It’s- just- my bad. Like, I should’ve grabbed some earlier, but you know how shifty she’s being and-
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah. Well, if I have a chance, but I’m not really supposed to be touching them, right?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right. Right. So, uh… yes.
Ali (as Yashee): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Good call. That’s good. Good instinct on that-
Ali (as Yashee): Maybe I’ll find some scissors.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): …okay?
Ali (as Yashee): I can just snap a little piece off… something- [Goodrich giggles]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes, sure. Get some gloves, scissors, however you want to do it. Just ‘cause you know how- how she’s been, you know, trying to figure what’s going on.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, just use the doll and all that, so. Sorry I’ve been a little bit weird with the hair and stuff, but there’s [inhale] a reason! So-
Ali (as Yashee): Well, you’re kind of a weird little guy, it’s fine-
Goodrich: Jeez!
Ali (as Yashee): -I’m used to it.
[all laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Yeah, that’s one thing I’ve definitely found out while doing… this.
Goodrich: I don’t know. What am I-
Kyle: That you’re weird with hair?!
Goodrich: No, no, it’s just-
Kyle: Yep, I guess that’s it, everybody!
Ali: Just, in general.
Kyle: Good night, everyone!
[Goodrich sighs]
Ali: It’s fine!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, no no no. Uh, if you could do that, that’d be super great. Just be careful. Try not to let anybody see you. And then later on, when hopefully all this blows over, we can see what she’s getting up to aaaaaand… yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Great.
Ali: I’ll give you a thumbs up-
Ali (as Yashee): I’ll do my best!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [laughing] Oh-kay!
Spurrier (as Randy): Bye!
Ali (as Yashee): Yep, yep.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, bye, you guys!
Kyle: Mmkay. So you split up. Go your separate ways. And I think [bomBARDed theme song fades in] we might pick it up next time at that point.
[music swells as episode ends]