Ep. 32 – Seems Like a Fun Guy
[bomBARDed theme song plays]
Kyle (as an aggressive radio DJ): Welcome back all you listeners out there in podcast land to KBRD, the Bard.
Goodrich: [mimicking air horn] Bew, bew, bew, bew!
Kyle (as a DJ): I’m your DM DJ Kyle.
Goodrich: Uh, are you gonna talk like this the whole time?
Kyle (as a DJ): Yuup.
[players make sounds of protest]
Kyle (as a DJ): Last time on bomBARDed- let me recap it real quick.
Kyle: No. Uh, so yeah! Welcome. BomBARDed. Thanks again.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: Uh, last time [song from Vol 1 OST, “Let’s Recap” begins] we began the last episode with our bards, uh, they were almost having to cover “Sultans of Swing” because they were in Dire Straits!
Goodrich: Oh, wow.
[players burst out laughing]
Kyle: -with Wesley, who was relying on some odd ability provided by his metallic arm. Uh, so the bards were, yeah, incapacitated. And as Wesley was about to kick Raz’ul off the ledge of the final platform they were on, he was stopped by a voice that came from his mechanical spider which walked out from behind the mirror. And I think I misspoke last time – I want to clear that up. The- the spider walked out from behind the mirror, not from the mirror. I know what it sounded like, and it needs to be that and not the other.
Goodrich: Oh-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Oh, okay!
Kyle: Just to clarify!
Goodrich: Oh, yeah.
Kyle: But anyway, so the spider walked out from behind the mirror and y’all learned that that voice was the voice of Delarim who actually spoke to the bards about being of use in the future and that she was excited for the next time they get to talk.
Goodrich: Saved Raz’ul’s life. Just gonna say that right now.
Kyle: It’s true.
Goodrich: Ah ha.
Ali: [singsong] Thanks, Delarim!
[Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: That’s true.
Goodrich: [singsong] Thanks, Delarim!
Kyle: After which, the mechanical spider and Wesley activated the mirror, which Yashee has taken with her. Uh, and they proceeded through it, leaving our bards seemingly sealed inside the tomb. After the effects of Wesley’s arm faded, the bards found some items in the room such as books, a music box, a journal of Barenthall Strumlott’s that referenced building a device, uh, but needing to start a separate journal for that. And they also managed to solve a puzzle that opened a bookcase in the room, leading to an exit to the surface along with two chests. The bards pilfered the goods from one before leaving the tomb. They emerged in the Discordant Fields a few hills from where they had entered. Then made a call to Symbol who was frustrated to find out where the bards were, and that Alola had misled him. The call was brief, ending with the sound of a thud.
Goodrich: Eugh….
Kyle: So… At this moment, the bards had called Mitch to check out what was going on. And Mitch said, “I’ll go check it out and see what’s going down.” He did not call you back. From there the bards-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: He did not!
Ali: He didn’t!
Goodrich: [singsong] Thanks, Kyle! [sigh]
Kyle: From there, the bards guided Conway through song on how to get to the capital, going their separate ways when the road forked. The bards arrived back to school to find Mitch unconscious in the main foyer with a purple mark on his hand. The bards’ investigation was interrupted by Nurse Odejoy who told them to, “get away from him,” and follow her to the offices. And we’re gonna pick up there. We’re still in the foyer, [music fades out] you’re, uh, there.
[background music begins]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sh- sh- should we grab Mitch, Nurse Odejoy?
Ali (as Yashee): We’re not supposed to touch him!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): No, d-don’t touch him. Um, we- we should probably just leave him here for the time being. There’s things we need to procure that have worked out.
Kyle: And as she is, uh, stammering through that, you start to hear the body of Mitch shuffling a little bit and starting to move.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh! Mitch!
Kyle: And-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch! That you, Mitch?
Kyle: You look down and Mitch’s eyes are closed and his body’s like… very clumsily trying to get up. And it’s like- it doesn’t know how his body works- it’s like a baby deer trying to stand up.
Goodrich: Aw.
Kyle: It just really can’t.
Goodrich: So cute!
Kyle: But he finally stands up. But you notice his eyes are like closed the entire time.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch!
Goodrich: And I clap in front of his face-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch! [claps] Mitch! [claps]
Kyle: There’s no response.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: And she says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Get away from him!
Kyle: And-
Goodrich: I jump back.
Kyle: So, you jump back and as you do, Mitch’s mouth opens and, uh, from it emits a large plume of purple spores-
Goodrich: Eugh…
Kyle: -that fill the area around you. And I need all three of you to give me a wisdom saving throw, please.
Ali: Oh no.
Spurrier: Oh boy.
Goodrich: Randy’s favorite! [dice rolls]
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: Right.
Ali: I got a nine.
Kyle: Mmkay.
Ali: Plus nothing.
Spurrier: I got a thirteen plus nothing.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: I got a three plus five so eight.
Kyle: Hooh, okay. Raz’ul and Yashee, you, uh, you smell something in the air and you’re just like, kind of overcome by it and you’re really just like, “Yeah, that smells really good!” And-
Goodrich: And I mean, I do like potpourri, so…
Kyle: All you want to do is just stay as close to Mitch as possible.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch, Mitch, dude, is that some potpourri, like what is that? That smells… dude, do you guys smell that? C’mon, that smells good, right? Like-
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, Mitch, I’ve- I’ve never noticed you so much before, but like, you’re really cool.
Goodrich: Yeah!
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Randy, you- you, uh, smell the smell and like it’s kind of intoxicating at first, but you shake it.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah. I mean-
Kyle: And you-
Spurrier (as Randy): -it smells, okay? But it’s not, super cool.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: Can I waft some over to Randy, like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Dude, no, seriously, check it out!
Ali: Right. I’m like trying to eat the air. [chewing sounds]
[players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, you waft some over and Randy, I mean, like yeah, the smell definitely comes with it, but you’re- you’re not buying into what’s happening. And you can tell that Yashee and Raz’ul are overly enamored-
Spurrier: Oh-kay.
Kyle: -at this point.
Goodrich: Come join us, Randy…
Spurrier: We’ll have fun.
Goodrich: Come play with us, Randy…
[music fades out]
Kyle: Let’s roll some initiative.
Goodrich: Initiative?!
Spurrier: Oh, boy.
[multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: Man, I rolled another three. Plus zero this time.
Kyle: Sweet.
Ali: Mine’s two plus one, so three.
Goodrich: Uh, oh! Well, I’m-
Ali: You got a plus zero to initiative?
Goodrich: Yeah.
[Kyle giggles]
[players laugh]
Goodrich: What?! There’s nothing wrong with that!
Ali: No, no, it’s fine!
[they laugh and mutter to each other]
Kyle: So, between you two, who wants to go first?
Goodrich: Uh…
Kyle: I think we’ve done it where like higher dexterity would get it which I think would be Yashee.
Goodrich: Yeah, it’s Yashee.
Kyle: Cool.
Spurrier: I got a one, so I rolled again, ‘cause I’m a halfling.
Kyle: Alright.
Spurrier: And it is a nineteen plus three.
Goodrich: Wow.
Kyle: Sweet.
Goodrich: [singing to tune of Lindby’s “Baby James”] He’s gonna turn it around-
Kyle: Mmkay.
Goodrich: [continuing to sing] -he’s gonna turn it around!
[players laugh]
Kyle: And I’m going to put, “Hello Nurse,” down here.
[Goodrich laughs]
Kyle: Um, Randy, you’re gonna start off this round of combat. So, what are you doing?
Goodrich: Does he know that it’s combat?
Kyle: Well, it doesn’t matter if Randy knows it’s combat, we’re doing this for the mechanics of our world. Randy, how are you reacting based off of… everything-
Spurrier: I’m gonna [music starts, “Battle Themes”] turn to Nurse Odejoy and say-
Spurrier (as Randy): What?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, see this is what I’m talking about. They will lure you in and we have to have… we have to have a certain liquid that I’ve- it doesn’t matter. Just get away from it!
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay! Can I just come with you and we can figure this out?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Sure yes. And-
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay!
Kyle (as Odejoy): -try to get your friends along too.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, they seem a little, uh- they seem to be enjoying some sort of smell that came out of Mitch’s gob.
[players laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): I don’t know. I’m a little concerned. That’s why I turned to you and said, “What?”
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, uh, mm…
Kyle: And she looks around and she checks, and she pulls out this small like bauble jar with like a sprayer on it and she kind of looks at it and shakes it, she’s like-
Goodrich: [chuckles] There’s only enough for one!
Kyle (as Odejoy): [sighs] Yeah, uh, okay.
Kyle: And um, she looks and she like tosses it at you.
Spurrier: Oh, okay. Guess I’ll-
Kyle: And uh, let’s see if you can catch it.
Spurrier: Let’s see if I can. [die roll] That’d be an eight plus four.
Kyle: Eight plus four? Okay. Not hard to catch so that’s twelve.
Spurrier: Phew.
Kyle: So, you’re able to catch it and I would say that’s pretty much your- your turn for action and everything.
Spurrier: Alright. I’m like-
Spurrier (as Randy): What do I do with this?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Uh, spray Mitch.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh! Okay.
Kyle: So, we’ll go to Mitch, who is going to bust out a club and-
Goodrich: Whoa.
Kyle: -just attacks Raz’ul. [die roll]
Goodrich: But I’m his buddy! I like his smells!
Kyle: Yeah, that’s fair.
Spurrier: You’re stealing his smells.
Goodrich: Well, yeah. Got some competition; he’s probably feeling threatened.
Spurrier: That’s fair.
Kyle: Mmkay, and a fourteen hits you.
Goodrich: Oh, yeah.
Kyle: So, he is going to do… [die roll] three bludgeoning damage as he lazily just like whomps you with a club.
Goodrich: ‘Kay more like taps me, jeez. Three damage, Mitch? Come on.
Kyle: And, uh, that’s gonna be Mitch’s turn. Yashee. [music fades out] Regardless of what you’re doing, you do move up into Mitch’s like- you’re within like melee combat essentially with Mitch. So, you pretty much have to use your movement based off of this uh, these spores that have gone down.
Ali: Alright.
Kyle: Again, you’re enamored with the smell of what’s going on here and you just want to be as close as possible to Mitch.
Ali: Alright, [music resumes] well I’m gonna go in for a- a big ol’ Yashee bear hug.
[players chuckles]
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: I wanna get even closer I-
Goodrich: Right.
Ali: -need him right here.
Goodrich: You want that smell, just, uhh, breathe it in.
Ali: Yeah, I’m like, just become a part of me. I want to like… [players giggle] wrap my cloak around him.
[Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: Right, okay. So yeah, you just go on in for a hug and you hug him and he just kind of stands there like wielding his club after just hitting Raz’ul. And is just kind of standing there with his arm out ready to hit whatever and like lets you hug him.
Ali (as Yashee): Isn’t this great, Mitch? We’re best friends, now.
[players chuckle]
Kyle: No response.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, okay.
Kyle: So, Yashee, if you’d like to, uh, you can go ahead and give me another saving throw to see if you can break the hold that these spores have on you.
Ali: Okay.
Goodrich: Talk about Mitch putting a spell on you.
Ali: Mmhm.
Goodrich: That’s Yashee’s thing!
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: [die roll] That is a seventeen.
Kyle: Okay, you go in for that hug and… you feel Mitch is really cold and clammy. Uh, the body’s kind of shaking a little bit, shivering in a way. And this kind of like breaks whatever’s going on as far as the fail that you just had with the spores. And you kind of come to your senses and you realize, like, no, this isn’t a safe scenario.
Ali: So, I’ll- I’ll push back like-
Ali (as Yashee): Mitch, back off dude! What are you doing, Mitch? Come on!
[Goodrich and Kyle chuckle]
Kyle: Alright, and that’ll end your turn. Taking us to Raz’ul.
[music fades out]
Goodrich: Well, I’m just all sorts of confused. I saw Yashee go hug Mitch. So, I wanted to go hug Mitch. But then she shoves Mitch?
Kyle: You’re still attracted to his smell and everything.
Goodrich: Right, okay so I go over [music resumes] and I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, break it up, break it up. Now Yashee, Mitch smells amazing. That’s no reason to get all upset- you were hugging him just a second ago.
Ali (as Yashee): No, dude, get away from him, he’s being weird!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I hear what you’re saying, but I also smell what Mitch is saying.
Ali (as Yashee): He smells like ass.
[all laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey. Mitch-
Goodrich: And I put my hand on Mitch’s shoulder as much as I can. Reach up-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch, I just want you to know, I need this recipe, whenever we’re done, with whatever this is-
Goodrich: I- I don’t know what else to do, other than that. I guess I roll for my little break the spell thing?
Kyle: Yeah, yeah-
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: If this is the end of your turn, yes, you can.
Goodrich: Oh! It’s a nineteen.
Kyle: Okay, yeah. You, uh, you’re talking and then all of a sudden it comes to you, you’re like, “Wait, this…”
Goodrich: Yeah, I then smell one more time, I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [sniffs] Aw, man, no. Yashee’s totally right, this smells awful.
[all laugh]
Goodrich: And then I shove Mitch!
Ali: Poor Mitch.
Goodrich: Poor Mitch.
Kyle: Alright, so yeah, so you- you back up and you back off, uh, well I don’t know- do you?
Goodrich: Yes, yes, I do.
Kyle: You do back off-
Goodrich: I shove him and then I back off.
Kyle: Mmkay. If you back off, he is going to make an attack of opportunity against you. [die roll]
Goodrich: But he won’t get it!
Kyle: And that is a twelve. Which does not hit you.
Goodrich: Mmhm.
Kyle: Wait, it does. Unless you’re holding your shield.
Goodrich: I- yeah! Always! That’s one thing about Raz’ul is he’s always holding his shield-
Kyle: Always holding his shield, alright.
Goodrich: -at all times! No matter what’s going on!
[players chuckle]
Kyle: I’ll remember that when you’re playing a two-handed instrument. Um…
[Ali winces]
Goodrich: Op.
[all laugh]
[music fades out]
Kyle: Okay, so yeah, he misses with that attack hit then and, uh, [music begins] Nurse Odejoy begins to cast a spell. And, uh, she’s casting a religious spell called Bless. She’s actually blessing all three of you.
Goodrich: Ooh.
Kyle: Now what this means is that whenever you make an attack roll or a saving throw, before the spell ends, which is a minute, uh, you can add a d4 to the number of the attack roll or saving throw that you make. Uh, that’s gonna end Nurse Odejoy’s turn and well, she’s gonna end it by saying-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Just- just spray him- get right in the face and spray it like- like a cat!
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.
[players chuckle]
[music fades out]
Kyle: So, we go to the top with Randy.
Spurrier: [battle music resumes] Alright, uh, well. I guess I’m going to, uh, get my Ninja Warrior on and, uh, acrobat on over and leap up and spray Mitch like a-
Kyle: [chuckling] Okay.
Spurrier: -like a little meow meow boy.
Goodrich: Can I do like a cool like shield like- you know how they do with the shield toss-
Spurrier: Oh, like jump off?
Goodrich: -jump off of my shield. I launch Randy into Mitch’s face.
Kyle: Sure.
Spurrier: Okay.
Kyle: Let’s- let’s see how this goes.
Goodrich: Okay.
[players laugh]
Kyle: Uh, Raz’ul, give me a strength check. Randy, give me an acrobatics.
Goodrich: Did I just make it more complicated?
Kyle: Probably.
Goodrich: Is this benefitting us?
Spurrier: Yeah, but it’s more exciting.
[dice rolls]
Goodrich: I got an eleven plus three.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: I got a ten plus nine.
Kyle: Okay. Both successful, yes-
Spurrier: Phew.
Kyle: -you’re able to push Randy: as he runs up you push him up with your shield. Randy, you jump up- acrobatically-
Goodrich: I guess you instruct me to do that since-
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: -it wasn’t my turn.
Spurrier: I’ll say-
Spurrier (as Randy): Spot me.
Spurrier: Or something. [Kyle giggles] What do people say when they do that?
Goodrich: Uh… Ey, oop! [chuckles]
Spurrier: Ey oop, there we go! Okay.
Kyle: Yeah, okay. And, uh, Randers, go ahead and give me-
Goodrich: [laughing] Did you call him Randers?
[Ali bursts out laughing; Spurrier joins in]
Kyle: [laughing] Yeah. Uh, go ahead and give me a, uh, dexterity-based attack.
Spurrier: Okay.
Kyle: No proficiency because it’s like spraying a bottle.
Spurrier: Plus the Bless?
Kyle: Yeah, plus the Bless. [die roll]
Goodrich: We’d probably be proficient in spray bottles because of how many times we have to spray Randy whenever he’s getting into trouble so…
Kyle: No, Randy, no, no!
Spurrier: And Randy really does feel that Bless, ‘cause-
Goodrich: Uh, oh.
[“Oh yeah” singing chorus plays]
Goodrich: Oh!
Ali: Woo!
Kyle: Oh, yeah!
Goodrich: Oh, yes!
Kyle: Nice.
Goodrich: Absolutely.
Kyle: You flip over and flip over and it like super slo-mo’s with you holding the spray bottle and you [spraying sound] chh-
[players chuckle]
Kyle: -right into, uh, Mitch’s face and you see Mitch kind of like- his face like scrunches up and you see the nostrils start to flare. And Mitch kind of like slowly lowers himself to the floor and just lies down, [Goodrich giggles] like in this weird kind of pose. [music fades out] But he seems incapacitated.
[background music begins]
Kyle: Nurse Odejoy walks up and asks for the bottle back she says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yeah, it’s- [sigh] pymaricin spray. It seems to work on these- I- I was messing around with some in my- it doesn’t matter. We need to actually- we can actually take him with us, now. Uh, this is what I was afraid of. I’m actually out of the spray, now.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, good.
Kyle (as Odejoy): But, uh, but yeah, if um, one of you three want to carry him to the offices-
Ali (as Yashee): Sure.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -we can-
Ali: I’ll just like, grab his leg. [players chuckle] I mean I’m holding the mirror, so.
Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah.
Ali: I’m just gonna drag him.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Thanks, Yashee!
Spurrier (as Randy): Thank you.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’ll get the door for you though.
Ali (as Yashee): Ah, thanks guys.
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Okay, so Nurse Odejoy begins leading you to the offices and she’s-
Goodrich: Oh, real quick. While we’re behind her, I grab some of Mitch’s hair. [snickers]
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: Just ‘cause, you know. We- we haven’t successfully gotten any hair yet, so. It’s an easy win? You know-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: -build myself up a little bit.
Ali: He’s gotta know something about Splash.
Goodrich: Yeah? See? Yup, yup.
Kyle: We’ll see.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: We’ll only find out later.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: Uh, so she begins, uh, yeah, leading you to the offices and she’s kind of explaining the situation, she says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yeah… e- everybody just started, like, you know, showing up with these purple marks that you see on Mitch’s hand. And they get feverish at first and then they fall unconscious. And, I mean, this is, you know, the status quo right now, that’s going on. They’ll come back and- it’s like they want you to stay close to them for some reason. They don’t do much other than that, at least you know, if you can escape them, you have a chance to… get away from whatever it is-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -they’re trying to do, but-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, this is happening to everybody?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes, it just- randomly people started, you know, showing these signs and being- it- it’s like they’d been attacked by something.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh…
Kyle (as Odejoy): Um, but nobody has seen what it is.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hmm.
Spurrier (as Randy): And have you seen Splash? Or the headmistress?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Ah, the- yes, I’ve seen the headmistress. She’s actually in the office safe area that we’ve kind of set up. Um…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): With Splash??
Kyle (as Odejoy): Spla- who’s Splash?
Ali (as Yashee): You know.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, you know. Symbol.
Spurrier (as Randy): Symbol.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay. Uh, no. I haven’t found Symbol, either, or Splash. But no, let’s- let’s get back-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It’s the same person. It’s… fine.
[Ali giggles]
[music fades out]
Kyle: She- she is obviously more concerned about other things.
Goodrich: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ali: A little flustered.
Kyle: So, she leads you into the offices and like, [background music begins: “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. I”] some of the fake little cubicles have been restructured to like make barriers and everything in here.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: And, uh, there’s like a good amount of students and faculty that are unconscious. Some of ‘em- most of them you’re not familiar with. But when you enter this area, you do notice, uh, the few people you do recognize that are laying down are Alola, Brenda McDade, Christina Blackblade, Garreth, and Ilda. All of them unconscious, all of them showing the same symptoms as, uh, as about- there’s about twelve other than them that are in this area and they’re all unconscious. All have a purplish mark somewhere on their body. All feverish.
Goodrich: ‘Kay, I run over to Garreth, and I start stroking his head like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, oh, I’m so sorry, Garreth. I didn’t mean for this to happen to you!
Goodrich: And then I grab some of his hair.
[Spurrier snickers]
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Kick him a little bit.
Goodrich: Yeah. [Spurrier chuckles] No!
Ali: Shut up, Garreth.
Goodrich: I say, uh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, Garreth. If only we had had more time!
[Ali chuckles]
Kyle: And you, uh, begin pulling hair and Nurse Odejoy says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): What are you doing?
[Ali bursts out laughing]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, I’m just- he was my best friend.
Ali (as Yashee): You know he’s got a problem, okay.
[Ali and Goodrich giggle]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I just-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Okay, please don’t pull my patient’s hair.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay. I’m s- I’m just- I’m so upset that I- maybe ran my hand through-
Kyle (as Odejoy): You know, I don’t even know the full boundaries of what is happening here, so I don’t know if any kind of physical contact should be made.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): So, two-
[Goodrich and Ali burst out laughing]
Goodrich: And as she turns around, I grab a little bit more. [they continue to laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): So, two questions: one, how have you not been affected? And two, are all these people in here ones that have been sprayed by the pimbleberry spray or whatever you called it?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Uh, yes. [players giggle] It- it’s pymaricin spray.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, I was close.
[players laugh]
Kyle (as Odejoy): Luckily, yeah, I haven’t and there’s a few others who have avoided the situation. Uh, actually, Tabitha, uh, Garreth and Ilda’s bandmate – I don’t know if you- y’all are in the same year, so you probably-
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, we know her.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -know each other. Yeah, but uh, she was actually in the offices because she was helping Brenda. She was kinda being- you know, fulfilling some office duties and-
Ali (as Yashee): Where is she now?
Kyle (as Odejoy): -being an assistant. Uh, she actually went to go get more pymaricin spray, but she hasn’t returned in quite a while. And-
Ali (as Yashee): Where is the spray at?
Kyle (as Odejoy): The spray? Uh, that’s a good question, it is in, uh, it’s in the utility workshop, uh, which of course, y’all have met Kage? He’s like groundskeeper and-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh yeah.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -custodian.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): He loves bed races.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yeah, yeah, yes.
Spurrier (as Randy): Ahh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): He was hosting the bed races-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Crazy feller.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -that’s by his workshop which is on the back- backside of the school. You can access it through the- of course it’s accessible through the dormitories as well. It’s on the south side-
Ali: And I leave.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Op! Uh, Y-Yashee? Where?
Ali: I just left.
Kyle: Okay? You left.
Ali: Bye! [laughs]
Kyle: Uh, Yashee, you’re turning to leave and out of the corner of your eye, you catch something very familiar. You see a bass guitar leaning up against the wall and near it, lying on the ground – you only see the legs of a man – but you notice that there are cargo pants pockets which are stained with different colors. And one of them has a stitching that reads, “sammich pockey.”
[players burst out laughing]
Goodrich: Uh... w-what?
Ali: Oh, god.
Goodrich: Do you know what this is?
Ali: Yeah. Uh, okay. [tires screeching noise] Eerrrrrrrr!
[players laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): Wait a second!
Ali: Uh, so I run on over there. And uh, is- is this person looking at me or?
Kyle: No-
Ali: Great.
Kyle: -they’re unconscious on the ground-
Ali: Oh, god.
Kyle: -with a purple mark on their neck. And of course, once you see the full body, you recognize this as your dad.
Ali: Yeah…
Goodrich: What?!
Spurrier: Oh boy.
Ali (as Yashee): Wh- what are you doing? Oh, he can’t hear me. W- what is he doing here?
Ali: I point to him.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Uh- well-
Kyle: -and Nurse Odejoy says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, that’s actually, a- a- a guest that had dropped by. I- I don’t know, we found them and they’d just popped in, I guess. I don’t know. They were talking probably to somebody else in the offices. I was in my nurse’s office. But… got bit so-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh. Ah. Well.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Do- do you know this man?
Ali (as Yashee): Guys. Meet my dad.
[players laugh]
Kyle: Mmkay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What?!
Kyle: Yashee- Yashee directs you over and, uh, Raz’ul and Randy, you walk over to see a human with tawny colored skin and wavy dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. He has a tattoo of a spoon on his forearm that reads, “little spoon,” on the handle.
[players chuckle]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, wow, uh…
Goodrich: I take his hand-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Nice to meet you, Mr…
Ali (as Yashee): Uh, maybe- maybe- don’t touch him.
Spurrier (as Randy): Bordun.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh yeah, my bad, my bad! I keep forgetting.
Ali (as Yashee): You know.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yeah, please.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sorry!
Ali (as Yashee): Why would he be here? Is it my birthday or something…?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Medical professionalism-
Goodrich: [laughing] Is it your birthday? [laughs more]
Kyle: But Raz’ul when you-
Ali: I’m trying to think, uhm….?
Kyle: When you do shake his hand, uh, the leather vest that he’s wearing like shakes. And you see a brightly colored pamphlet kind of like peek out from the inside.
Goodrich: I- uh- I’m afraid to touch it. But-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, there’s a pamphlet, in here, Yashee?
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, uh, okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, Randers? [Ali snickers] Do you know?
[players laugh]
Ali: Uh, I guess I’ll grab that pamphlet.
Kyle: Okay, you grab the pamphlet, and you see that it’s a pamphlet that says, uh, “The Circle of Fifths and You: How You Can Improve Your Songwriting.”
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, Dad.
Goodrich: Oh, boy! [players giggle]
Spurrier: Oh!
Goodrich: Let’s do this!
Kyle: And you open it up- [players laugh] -and it pretty much talks about being able to play songs in different keys-
Goodrich: YES!!!
Kyle: -it gives a really quick rundown of that. Which is very informal, but anybody- y- y- you know, you as musicians-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: -are able to glean the information necessary in it to be able to play in multiple keys.
Goodrich: Hey, Kyle?
Kyle: What?
Goodrich: We love you, Kyle.
[all laugh]
Goodrich: This is so exciting!
Ali: I’m gonna just crumple it up and throw it away.
Goodrich: NO, no, no!!!
[all burst out laughing]
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, okay, well this makes sense. He said he was gonna drop by sometimes and like, make sure I was learning everything that he learned.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh?
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, by the way, he used to go here?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohhh?
Spurrier (as Randy): Ah.
Ali (as Yashee): I’m not sure if-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What the heck?
Ali (as Yashee): -I ever told you that… um…
Spurrier (as Randy): [singsong] Alumni!
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Kyle (as Odejoy): That would actually explain how he got into the school, then, um. [Goodrich chuckles] You know, most people who aren’t invited or students don’t necessarily just show up willy nilly.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean the password is a chord.
Ali (as Yashee): He knows all the like backways in and-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohh?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Hmm. [players laugh] One of those students.
Ali (as Yashee): He wouldn’t tell me anything- I don’t think he wanted me to get in trouble. He got in trouble a lot here…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aw, cool!
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah…
[Kyle bursts out laughing, joined by others]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I wish he’d wake up.
Spurrier: He’s got a couple of friends named Fred and George.
Goodrich: Yeah, right. [Kyle chuckles] With a sweet map.
Ali (as Yashee): Well, I guess we’ll hang on to this ‘cause, yeah, he was gonna maybe show it to me so that’s cool. But… I- I hope we wakes up! Oh, no.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes, well that actually gets to the point at hand is uh, again, Tabitha went to go get the pymaricin spray and I’m thinking I could- the spray just seems to neutralize what’s going on, it doesn’t necessarily seem to cure it. If I hand more pymaricin spray, I could actually… try to modify it down to potentially a cure to resolve the situation going on. Um, if you were to go to the utility, you know, workshop, you would need- well, you would need this.
Kyle: And she pulls out, uh, a small, folded piece of paper. She says-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Don’t open this until you get to the door.
[Yashee whimpers slightly]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aghh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): But this will be- these will be the chords you need to play, and the door will tell you the key you need to play in.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): So that will give you the correct key.
Ali (as Yashee): Wait, what? Like a- like a-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Well, reference your pamphlet-
Ali (as Yashee): -key?
Kyle (as Odejoy): -when you get there.
[players laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): Ohhh! That kind of key! Okay!
Goodrich: Ha, ha ha.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes-
Ali (as Yashee): I see, I see.
Kyle: So, she’s holding out a folded piece of paper to Yashee.
Goodrich: Oh.
Ali: Uh, I’ll grab that- I’ll grab that too.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Just open that up whenever you get to the door and you’re getting ready to play whatever it is you need to enter.
Spurrier (as Randy): And as-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cool.
Spurrier (as Randy): -far as getting more of this pimblety-wimblety stuff, um… [Kyle chuckles slightly] Would a cubic mile of it be enough?
Kyle (as Odejoy): I don’t know if we have a cubic mile-
[all laugh]
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay, well we have the means to bring-
Kyle (as Odejoy): That would be-
Spurrier (as Randy): -a cubic mile back, so.
Kyle (as Odejoy): That would be more than enough. Um, I would imagine, uh- I was able to get some from there just because, uh, well Kage had some. He uses it for gardening and things around there. Uh, typically he uses it on any kind- any time there’s, you know, an adverse mushroom or fungus kind of- you know, eruption, so-
Goodrich: He uses it on the black mold at Strumlott’s.
[players laugh]
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yeah, actually he does! He uses-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [stammering] Ohh? Is that a problem here? Holy crap!
Kyle (as Odejoy): He uses- No, it’s not, because he uses the pymaricin spray-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohhhh.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -and it seems to really, uh, you know, get rid of fungus. So, it works really well for that. I don’t know why it’s working here, in this situation. But. Eh, it’s working and that’s why-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle (as Odejoy): -I’d like to get more of it to be able to refine it down to- potentially into a cure. Um, so if you’re able to fetch some, uh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s go! Yeah, why not?
Ali (as Yashee): We’ll try, yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): And you’ll just hold down the fort here?
Kyle (as Odejoy): Yes.
Ali (as Yashee): Okay.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Um, it’s been- it’s been successful holding it down here, uh, even though I’m out of the pymaricin spray now. It’s uh, we’ve kind of cleared out this little section and area – Tabitha’s done a great job. But I do fear for her since she’s been gone for… quite longer than she normally is.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Sure. One last thing, has the spray seemed to wear off? Has anyone popped back up and breathed out their intoxicating perfumes and such?
Kyle (as Odejoy): No, that has not been the situation.
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay.
Kyle (as Odejoy): It seems once the spray is administered that they, uh, they do remain docile.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Okay! Good, good. That’s helpful.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright. Well, yeah, I guess if you want to go and tend to your other patients and whatnot, we’ll uh… Do it to it!
Ali (Yashee): Yeah, let’s go!
Kyle (as Odejoy): Excellent, okay. Well, best of travels, uh, through the school.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah… yeah.
Kyle (as Odejoy): And… I have an Ira Glass, you should have Ira Glasses?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yes.
Ali (as Yashee): Yep.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh yeah, totally.
Kyle (as Odejoy): Um…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): New number, new-
Ali (as Yashee): Have you- have you tried calling Tabitha?
Kyle (as Odejoy): [pause] I- I haven’t actually.
Ali (as Yashee): Okay.
Goodrich: Aw, did she blush like you blushed, Kyle?
[players giggle]
Kyle: [pause] Yeah.
[players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, she does. She’s kind of embarrassed at herself for not thinking of that and she’s like-
Kyle (as Odejoy): Wow, that- that seems like and obvious thing that I should have done…
Goodrich: ‘Kay, I pull mine out-
Ali: Well, I’ll… Yeah. I’ll say let’s try-
[background music fades out]
Ali (as Yashee): Let’s try calling her, real quick then.
Ali: So, I take out mine and I’m like-
Ali (as Yashee): Tabitha?
[song from Vol 1 OST, “The Ira Glass” starts]
Kyle: You- you hear the sounds of what you believe to be a struggle and the only response you get is-
Kyle (as Tabitha): Not- not now!
Ali (as Yashee): Uh oh, okay! Uh… we’re on our way! Okay, let’s go guys.
[music fades]
Goodrich: Uh, okay? I-
Kyle: Alright. [background music resumes]
Goodrich: -I was gonna grab some of Yashee’s dad’s hair, real quick, can I…?
Ali (as Yashee): You keep your damn hands off him.
[all laugh]
Ali: Sorry, I don’t- I will, however, reach into his little sammy pocket to see if he brought me any snacks.
Kyle: Uh, yeah, there- there is a-
Goodrich: [laughing] Right!
Kyle: -small, wrapped, half-eaten sandwich.
Ali (as Yashee): Perfect, just where I left it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Get some hair! Get some hair!
Ali (as Yashee): No.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No? Okay, I was gonna say we could-
Ali (as Yashee): I can just tell you about my dad, jeez.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, I was gonna say, if he’s looking for your mom? I don’t know, I don’t know your business, okay, let’s go, let’s go!
Ali (as Yashee): Alright.
Ali: So, we’re running. I’m eating a sandwich. It’s great.
[all chuckle]
[background music fades out]
Kyle: Okay. So, you’re making your way [background music begins: “Ep 32, Escaping the Ooze”] through the corridors, you’re finding your way, uh, towards the dormitories to be able to get towards the workshop. Um, you’re about halfway to the dormitories when you begin to hear the sound of shuffling coming down from one of the cross sections in the hallways you’re running through.
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [shouting] Make way!!!
Kyle: You scream that out and about three students – random people – just, kind of like, fill into the hallway. And you see them all empty out those same purple spores.
[Goodrich sighs]
Ali (as Yashee): Hold your breath! Hold your breath, keep running!
Kyle: Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.
Goodrich: But we held our breath, though.
Kyle: Yeah, not- not soon enough.
Goodrich: Uh oh!
[dice rolls]
Ali: I have a twelve.
Spurrier: I have a thirteen.
Goodrich: I have a fourteen.
Kyle: Okay. You’re all good. The smells-
Goodrich: Yes.
Kyle: -do not entice you.
Goodrich: Phew.
Kyle: However, you do have three, what look like bitten students standing in your way.
Ali: Is there a uh, like a closet nearby we could just shove them into?
Kyle: Uh…
Ali: And prop the door in.
Kyle: Yeah, sure.
[Goodrich and Spurrier chuckle]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh it’s- it’s- it’s the custodian closet! Right there!
Ali (as Yashee): Just stick them in there!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay!
Goodrich: I shoulder one into there.
Kyle: Okay. So, you run up to one and try to shoulder it and it pulls out a shortsword and stabs at you.
Goodrich: Oh what?
Ali: We should’ve just run.
Goodrich: Yeah, can I just change it to run past?
Ali: Never mind!
[they both giggle]
Kyle: If you run past, they will pull out a shortsword-
Goodrich: [laughing] Okay, okay!
Kyle: -and stab at you.
Goodrich: Yep, yep.
Kyle: Uh, this is gonna happen. This one is gonna attack you. And then we’re gonna do initiative.
Goodrich: Okay. Again?
[Spurrier chuckles]
Kyle: [die roll] Alright. So, a nineteen is gonna hit! You take [die roll] eight slashing damage.
Goodrich: Okay, and I just keep running after I’ve shoved him?
Kyle: If you want to, but it is initiative time.
[background music fades out]
Goodrich: Oh.
[dice rolls]
Kyle: They’re like blocking your path.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: To be clear.
Ali: I got a seventeen.
Spurrier: I got a three plus three.
Goodrich: I got a ten.
Kyle: Alright, so that makes our order: my bad peeps, Yashee, Raz’ul, and then Randy. [music begins] So, these bad peeps, again, they are going to stab at you three. And… [die roll] let’s see, that’s going to hit Yashee with a seventeen. [die roll] That will not hit Randy.
Spurrier: Hooray!
Kyle: [die roll] And that one will hit Raz’ul.
Goodrich: Ugh.
Kyle: Mkay. [die roll] Yashee, you get stabbed at, you take eight piercing damage. [die roll] And then Raz’ul, you get stabbed at, you take six piercing damage.
Spurrier: You’ve been taking a beating today.
Goodrich: Seriously. I rested up and everything.
Kyle: Oh no!
Goodrich: All for naught.
Kyle: Yashee, your turn.
Ali: Um, I’m going to start frantically tap dancing [Goodrich snickers] ‘cause I have Thunder Tap Shoes on.
[Goodrich laughs]
Kyle: Right.
Ali: So, I’m gonna send out a Thunderwave to knock these students down.
Goodrich: Ya-ki-tee-ya-ki-tee-ya-ki-tee-ya!
Kyle: Okay. [chuckles] I think for that I need to make constitution saving throws? Or dexterity saving throws?
Ali: A constitution saving throw.
Kyle: [die roll] Okay. That one’s going to fail [die roll] ‘cause it’s an eleven. That one’s gonna pass ‘cause it’s a seventeen. [die roll] And that one’s gonna fail ‘cause it’s a six! So, uh, the two on the outside succumb to the full effect of your Thunderwave, and the one in the middle does not. So, you can go ahead and roll that damage, if you’d like to.
Ali: Alright. That’s 2d8 per person.
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: [dice rolls] So, your first one is eleven.
Kyle: Mkay.
Ali: [dice rolls] The second one is… eleven!
Kyle: Alright. And, uh, what’s the middle one? ‘Cause it still takes half damage, right?
Ali: Uh, half damage, no pushback. So…
Kyle: Half damage, no pushback.
Ali: [die roll] Four.
Kyle: Okay, so, the two on the sides- you- you knock them back and you hear their heads hit the ground as they fall, and they are just unconscious. Uh, you can’t really tell if they’re moving or anything like that, but the one in the middle is still standing and kind of just like slides back only an inch from your Thunderwave. [Ali giggles] And uh, it’s Raz’ul’s turn. [music fades]
Goodrich: Okay, so how is this working? ‘Cause we’re running through them, right? So can we just continue running past, now that two are-
Kyle: Yeah, you can run past them, if you want.
Goodrich: Uh.
Kyle: You’re still running past a threatened area, though.
Goodrich: ‘Cause that last one hurt like a butt cheek on a stick, so-
Kyle: Would you like to use your action to disengage so you don’t provoke an attack of opportunity?
Goodrich: Oh, sure.
Kyle: Okay. [music resumes] So you are able to cautiously move past them-
Goodrich: Huh!
Kyle: -so that you don’t get attacked.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: Oh.
Kyle: Okay, well, if that’s your turn, then you move past, you’re out of the threatened area. And, uh, we would go to Randy.
Spurrier: So, I’m planning on just going by too. But I’m going to one quick thing to kind of prepare us for moving forward. [big breath] So, Randy pulls out his organ, and says, uh-
Spurrier (as Randy): [singing and playing on keyboard a la Transformers theme song] Transformers! Randy’s infected.
Spurrier: And uh… [Goodrich giggles] I’m gonna look like Mitch and be all purply and like maybe be able to have fake spores come out of my mouth and stuff so it looks like I blend in with all them- the bad students.
Kyle: I- I don’t know if you’d be able to do the spore thing, but you can make yourself look like Mitch if you want to.
[music fades]
Spurrier: Well, I mean, I couldn’t actually do it, but couldn’t I look like the spores were coming out, though? ‘Cause I can- I mean it’s part of my appearance?
Kyle: Yeah, I think that would be more like a Minor Illusion-
Spurrier: Mmm.
Kyle: -rather than Disguise Self.
Goodrich: So, could he just cast Minor Illusion on himself after casting-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: -the Transformers-
Kyle: Yeah, I mean, if you wanted to use your action to do Minor Illusion to make it look like you’re doing spores, you can do that.
Spurrier: Okay. I don’t have that, but-
Goodrich: I do! I’ll cast it on you here in a second.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: I shout over my shoulder-
[music resumes]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [shouting] I see what you’re doing, it’s super cool! We’ll sync up after this! Okay bye!
Spurrier (as Randy): ‘Kay bye.
Spurrier: Uh, so then I’ll u- move and then use my bonus action to disengage.
Kyle: Okay. Yeah, you move past and uh, you’re good to go. That takes us back to the top with my one bad person who’s going to attack the only person left which is Yashee.
Ali: [die roll] I should’ve used my bonus action to run past… It’s too late!
Kyle: Yeah, well. He missed anyway.
[Ali sighs]
Goodrich: Alright! Party.
Kyle: So Yashee, your turn.
Ali: I’m runnin’!
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yeah.
Kyle: Okay!
Ali: Disengage. Move on past.
Kyle: Alright, so you move on past and uh, you notice this thing, uh, you know, if you keep moving down the hallway, it tries to shuffle after you, but it’s obviously slower.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: You’re able to outpace it and eventually make your way out if its line of sight [music fades out] and around the corner down the hall.
Goodrich: Okay. [background music starts: “Ep 32, Escaping the Ooze”] And as we do I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, okay, okay!
Goodrich: Can we stop?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Real quick, real quick. [big inhale] This one’s on me. I should’ve cast Pass Without Trace. I’m sorry, [Spurrier chuckles] it’s like my favorite spell and I totally missed. Soooo… let me just do that real quick so we can possibly avoid any more of these little encounters.
[Spurrier and Kyle chuckle]
Goodrich: And poof. Pass Without Trace is cast.
Kyle: Alright.
Goodrich: And I’m also gonna throw down, uh, one of my fuzzballs, ‘cause that could also come in handy, later?
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: So… [die roll] it is a [singing] seven! [speaking] Ooh, it’s the lion!
Ali: Yes!
Goodrich: Oh, man!
[Spurrier chuckles]
Ali: Yes.
Goodrich: Cool.
Kyle: Nice.
Goodrich: Uh-
Ali: Does the lion get to be, like, shadowed with us, or whatever?
[music fades out]
Goodrich: Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Pass Without Trace?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Ah sweet.
Kyle: Sure.
Spurrier: Does it have a name?
Goodrich: Uh… [giggles]
Kyle: Lucius?
Goodrich: I wrote down- [laughs] Yeah. I wrote down here, Weemo? ‘Cause of like, [singing to tune of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”] Weemo-weh, a-weemo-weh…
[all burst out laughing]
Goodrich: So, it’s kind of like Beemo, but Weemo... so…
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, we- uh- [music resumes] this is Weemo.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh. Hi.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): A-Weemo-Weh.
Ali (as Yashee): That’s weird.
[players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, so…
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: Doing things the Weemo way!
Goodrich: Right, yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, uh… okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Let’s go!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s go!
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: If we- if we run, can we still use Pass Without Trace? Or is running…?
Kyle: If you’re running, you can roll at disadvantage.
Goodrich: Okay, so I- let’s-
Kyle: For stealth.
Goodrich: -let’s maybe like power walk. You know-
Spurrier: [snickers] Okay.
Goodrich: -walk down the hall like, huh huh huh huh.
Kyle: [snickering] Okay.
Goodrich: Still stealthing.
Spurrier: Should we stealth then, though?
Goodrich: Yes.
Spurrier: Alright. [die roll]
Goodrich: Alright. [dice rolls]
[Ali snickers]
Goodrich: Oh, phew. I got a two plus JOAT plus ten so twelve.
Ali: I got a one plus one.
Spurrier: Plus ten, though.
Ali: What? What’s ten? Oh ‘cause of the-
[players laugh]
Goodrich: That’s-
Spurrier: That’s the Pass Without Trace.
Ali: Aw man. So, one plus one plus ten so, twelve!
Spurrier: Alright.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: I got a thirteen plus nine plus ten.
Kyle: Thirteen plus nine plus ten. And are you instructing the lion to move…
Goodrich: Yeah! So, I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, Weemo-weh? You know, just-
[Ali makes a questioning lion sound]
Goodrich: [chuckles] Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You’ve got the pads on your paws, let’s you know, maybe keep it to that. [die roll] And Weemo-weh gets… thirteen plus ten.
Kyle: Yeah, no, Weemo-weh is good to go. Uh, Yashee is a little bit, uh-
Ali: I-
Goodrich: Are you still carrying the mirror?
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Oh man.
[Goodrich laughs]
Kyle: You didn’t say you weren’t.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: And you are headed towards the dorms, you could drop it off if you want to try…
Ali: We don’t have time.
Goodrich: There’s no time.
Kyle: [chuckles] If you’d like to, you can retroactively say you left it at the offices so you’re not carrying it around.
Ali: Sure.
Kyle: That’s what we did.
Goodrich: Okay.
Spurrier: Hooray!
Goodrich: [singing] Retcon!
Ali: Odejoy, don’t let anyone touch this freaking mirror, please.
Kyle: Fantastic. [players laugh] Okay, so you’re uh- you’re cautiously moving towards the dormitories. And you reach towards the entrance of it, and you can see the main living area where all the elevators meet up and conjoin… uh, you know, rather large of course…
Goodrich: Mmhm.
Kyle: There’s a good population of these… infected people milling around and a good handful of them look over and see, specifically, Raz’ul and Yashee standing there.
Goodrich: You know what I should’ve done is say I was riding on top of Weemo-weh. ‘Cause wouldn’t that change my stealthy-ness? Or would it not?
Kyle: I…? Yeah, too late for that!
Goodrich: Yeah, well! You know how it goes!
Kyle: So, yeah, they all turn and they’re all looking at you two. They don’t seem to notice the lion or Randy. Um-
Goodrich: Is there someone playing piano over in the corner and then as soon as they see us it stops?
Kyle: Yeah, yeah, they are but, [Ali bursts out laughing] it’s not like good piano. It’s kind of like-
Goodrich: Gur! Gur!
Kyle: Gur! Gur!
[Spurrier plays some staggered notes on the keyboard]
Kyle: Yeah, um. Alright, so, uh-
Goodrich: Can we just pull the classic like Star Wars gag where it’s like: Yashee and I have Mitch, we’re like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, we’re just taking Mitch down to the detention area…
[players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We gotta- C’mon, Mitch, you’re all infected! Don’t worry about it everybody, we’re uh, we’ve got it under control and…
Kyle: I mean, they don’t even see a Mitch.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh! Uh… good- goodbye, everybody! Just checking in on things… Looks fine in here, though! Carry on.
Ali: Are they like blocking the entrance?
Kyle: Uh, the path that you need to go, yeah you notice they’re not necessarily blocking it. It just looks like a bunch of these bodies milling around with no real purpose. So, there is a- there is a pathway.
Ali: Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, guys. Just follow my lead.
Ali: Um, so I like start calling them over-
Ali (as Yashee): Hey! Come on over here! I’m not infected at all! You could totally infect me!
[Kyle bursts out laughing]
Goodrich: [laughing] Oh jeez!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, uh, me too! [chuckles]
Kyle: Okay. So, uh, you guys are distracting them, telling them to come your way. Are you moving in any direction?
Ali: Maybe Randy and Lion should.
Spurrier: Oh, I was gonna say since you guys are seeing- while this is happening, I’m just going quietly around this whole thing-
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: -over to the entrance.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Lion, follow Randy. I don’t know what Yashee’s doing but follow Randy!
[Ali laughs]
Kyle: You two, uh, Randy and the lion, or Weemo-
Goodrich: Weemo. I think you keep calling it Lion because of Steven Universe.
Ali: Yeah.
[all laugh]
Kyle: [singing] Lions!
Ali: That’s literally what I’m picturing in my head.
Kyle: Yeah. Hard not to.
Goodrich: [high-pitched] Steven!
Kyle: [high-pitched] Steven!
[all chuckle]
Kyle: Uh, but yeah, no, Randy and um, Weemo are able to uh, move right to the hallway that leads to the utility workshop. So, uh, you two are trying to distract them. And what are you doing?
Ali: Are they coming at me?
Kyle: Yeah, they’re starting to walk towards you.
Ali: Alright, I’ve got all those marbles that I stole-
Goodrich: Oh.
Ali: -in the uh…
Kyle: Right.
Ali: Uh, tomb.
Kyle: Right.
Ali: So, I’m gonna toss those out and watch while they all fall! [giggles]
Kyle: Okay, so-
Goodrich: Right?
Kyle: -you toss them out as the first wave is approaching you and [die roll] let’s… cool. [die roll]
Goodrich: Wait.
Kyle: That’s a great dice.
Goodrich: But when you say cool, Kyle, it’s confusing for us, because-
Kyle: That’s a great dice, too. [die roll]
Goodrich: -sometimes-
Ali: Oh, I’m also gonna squeeze out my sponge with all the salt water to make them slippery!
Goodrich: Oh, nice!
Ali: Slippery marbles!
Kyle: Okay. Alright. [Ali giggles]
Goodrich: So, roll at disadvantage-
Kyle: They’re uh-
Goodrich: -now, Kyle!
Kyle: I already did.
Goodrich: Oh!
[players laugh]
Kyle: I might as well have with those rolls.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: Uh yeah, [laughs] it works out perfectly.
Ali: Yes!
Goodrich: Oh?
Kyle: And uh, yeah, you throw the marbles out there, squeeze out your- the- the gallon? I think it was a gallon of salt water?
Goodrich: Something like that.
Kyle: Something like that.
Ali: I said keep pouring until it’s empty so.
Kyle: Yeah, well you poured-
Ali: I don’t know how much you gave me.
Kyle: I can’t remember either. But you pour out a ton of salt water on all these marbles and… yeah, they slip-slide like it’s a Home Alone movie.
Ali: Yes!
Kyle: And it has that same sound that like overly done cartoons – like the original Scooby Doo where it’s like ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
Goodrich: Yeah, swood-swood-swoodle-doo!
Kyle: Yeah!
Goodrich: Vrrr-vrr-vrr-vrr! Awesome.
Kyle: Alright, so, with your little scheme, you’re able to maneuver your way around the mass of uh, shambling bodies. And um, yeah, you make it to where Randy and Lion are.
Goodrich: Excellent!
Ali: Alright.
Spurrier: Hooray!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, let’s keep going! [Spurrier chuckles] Great job, Yashee!
Ali (as Yashee): Thanks!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Gold star.
Ali: I need to go get those marbles back soon.
Goodrich: Later though.
Ali: They’re good.
Goodrich: Yeah.
[music fades out]
Kyle: Someday, but make sure you don’t have them in your inventory, so you don’t accidentally use them-
Ali: I didn’t- you know I never even wrote them in anyway, so.
[players laugh]
Kyle: Cool. Good for you for remembering. Uh, so okay, yeah, [background music starts: “Ep 32, A Makeshift Infirmary, Mvt. II”] you’re making it down the hallway and you can kind of hear the shuffling of feet behind you, but eventually that quiets down and, uh, you find yourself at the utility workshop door. And there is a letter on the doorknob that says the letter F.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That’s the key!
Spurrier (as Randy): Ah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right there!
Ali (as Yashee): It means my foot!
Ali: And I kick the door.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ah!!
[players chuckle]
Kyle: Give me a strength check.
Goodrich: Oh my gosh.
[Ali and Spurrier giggle]
Ali: [die roll] Eight.
Kyle: You try to kick this door in as hard as you can, and this door makes no budge whatsoever. In fact, it hurts your foot. Take a point of damage.
Ali: Sure.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay-
Ali: That’s fine.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So, let’s see that pamphlet. Give me that pamphlet, Yashee.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, yeah okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Right, right. I’m remembering now what they said.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: So as far as like transposing in different keys, how much of that do we know as Bards or is this it, Kyle?!
Kyle: This is it. So, you open up that pamphlet and it, again, explains all the information about playing in different keys, and-
Ali: My dad’s pamphlet?
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Okay.
Kyle: Yeah, your dad’s pamphlet that you got out of his vest. Uh, it pretty much gives you a run-down about playing songs in different keys.
Goodrich: Fantastic!
Ali: Okay. And then- and then what about the folded piece of paper?
Kyle: Oh that?
Ali: Do we open that now too?
Kyle: Do you?
Ali: I do.
Goodrich: Ah.
Kyle: You open it up and inside are… roll chord dice.
Ali: Oh!
[Goodrich and Spurrier laugh]
[music fades out]
[digital transition music, “Chord Dice!” plays]
Goodrich: Man, I gotta say, I was pretty bummed whenever we found out that school was all jacked up ‘cause I was like, oh maybe we’ll get back to Strumlott’s and Splash will teach us how to play in different keys!
Spurrier: Well, well, well.
Goodrich: And then Kyle just turns it right around on us!
Ali: Mmhm.
Kyle: Pamphlets! For the win!
Goodrich: So, we did want to talk just real quick about different keys and um… yep. There are twelve of them, and stuff like that. So, we’ll kind of discuss- we’ll just run through real quick. But Spurrier, would you like to kick it off?
Spurrier: Uh, sure.
Kyle: [singing] Spurrier heads up education time! He’s gonna teach you everything; that’s so fine!
Spurrier and Goodrich: [singing] Buh-duh-duh-duh.
[all laugh]
Spurrier: Uh, yeah. So, like Goodrich said, uh, there are twelve of them. So again, if I [plays C4] do a C [plays C5] and here’s another C. So, to get there: [playing ascending notes as he speaks] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. And we’re back to where we started. So, all of those are uh, valid options to play in as far as a key goes. Uh, and so you ask yourself why?
[Goodrich chuckles]
Spurrier: Why not just play in C like how Chaos Sauce has for a year and a half?
Goodrich: I know right?
Spurrier: Um, and there’s a number of different reasons. But just, kind of, briefly some of them… Uh, different instruments have different ranges. Like say you were playing a cello. And it can only play [plays C2] to this C here. So, if you had a piece that goes lower than that C, well a cello can’t do that piece unless it’s in a higher key or vice versa.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: Mm.
Spurrier: Um, different instruments have different tones and timbres depending on the range they’re played in. So maybe you want a piece to sound more mellow, so you’d do it in a lower key. If you want it to be more intense and bright, so it’s in a higher key. Uh, so just really kind of depends on that uh-
Goodrich: And like kind of the resonances of instruments too with like open strings and whatnot. ‘Cause like, in a normally tuned guitar, like it’s really easy to play in like E [plays and E chord on guitar]. And in [plays chords as says name] A, G, D, and C, just ‘cause of like open strings and all the chords that I’m playing are in an- what’s called an open position.
Kyle: That’s some teen spirit, right there.
Goodrich: [chuckling] Yeah, exactly! You know, for guitar players, if you’re playing in A flat [A flat chord], like you have to start using bar chords and while E flat is a nice key to play in [E flat chord], it’s, you know, a little bit trickier on a guitar because-
Kyle: Boo hoo. Use a capo.
Goodrich: Well! I was gonna say, Kyle! Fantastic reason! Go ahead and get yourself a capo, that’s why guitar players use capos, ‘cause they can play in open positions [plays some guitar chords], but not have to change their hand position for chords and stuff so-
Kyle: It’s not just for headshots.
Goodrich: That’s right! [all chuckle] Exactly. So… but yeah.
Spurrier: Yeah, and kind of going off of that, yeah. Those- a lot of those chords that Goodrich just played either had naturals or sharps in them. So, like guitars and other string instruments really kind of cater more towards the sharper side of things. They can do the others, of course-
Goodrich: Uh huh.
Spurrier: -but it’s just easier. Which then, on the other side, brass, with how they’re, uh- with how they’re tuned, they kind of prefer flats. Uh, so again this is just another reason why you would use some of these different keys.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: And then of course, there’s the voice and so, Ali can kind of talk-
Ali: Right.
Spurrier: -about that.
Ali: Yeah, so when you’re singing by yourself, you know, you might have a preferred key. Like I like, you know, A and B flat, because my kinda top note is around there. So, it’s nice to have that octave.
Goodrich: Which, as you can tell, A and B flat are right below C!
[all chuckle]
Ali: Right!
Goodrich: So, a lot of times we’re writing songs and it’s just like euh!! If only if it was just a-
Ali: Yeah.
Goodrich: -few steps lower!
Ali: Yeah.
Goodrich: Sorry!
Ali: But like if I’m teaching choir, sometimes my students just like, tune better in different keys? Like we might be doing a song in F and- and it’s not quite working so we bump it up to F sharp and-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: -suddenly it all like clicks a little better.
Goodrich: Yeah. Don’t really know why. It just kind of happens and- I know with woodwinds, too, especially like- woodwinds can kinda do whatever, just because on most woodwinds, there is literally a button for every note you play, so.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: It’s kind of like-
Spurrier: Some of them may be tricky to tune, but-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: -that’s a whole-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: -different issue. We won’t get into.
Goodrich: Exactly.
Spurrier: Uh, but then, you might be asking yourself, okay, well there’s different keys, what does that mean, right? Um, so if we’re in the key of C, which again, we have been for- since this show started, uh, so if I started on a C [plays C4] on a piano and played all the [plays C scale up and down] white notes up to C- probably have heard that sound before [plays notes as he says them]: do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do, ti, la, sol, fa, mi, re, do.
Spurrier (continued): But if I moved this- and I’ll move it up by a fifth, so I move up five notes [plays notes]: C, D, E, F, G – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – takes us to a G. If I do the same thing and play all these white notes… [plays seven notes and lingers on the seventh, F] that note sounds a little wonky. Doesn’t sound bad, but [plays F sharp] it doesn’t have the same pattern. That was an F [plays F], so I need to make that into an F [plays F sharp] sharp. So, if I play it now [plays G major scale], it has exactly the same sound.
Spurrier (continued): So, if I kind of maintain that pattern, I could start on any note I want. [plays two scales] And by using the right combination of sharps and flats, you’re in that particular key. Uh, and that’s gonna be really beneficial to us, um…
Goodrich: Look up the circle of fifths.
Spurrier: Yeah!
[all laugh]
Spurrier: If you want to know a bit more in depth, kind of adding sharps and adding flats, and which key has what and why- but it really is by moving around by fifths. You either tack on more sharps or tack on more flats. Whether you go in a, uh, clockwise or counterclockwise position.
Goodrich: Yeah. And feel free to hit any of us up if you’d-
Spurrier: Yeah!
Goodrich: -like to delve more into the circle of fifths!
Spurrier: Yeah. Or on Twitter, any of us would be happy to talk to you guys more about that in depth. But just to kind of give a little brief overview.
Goodrich: Yes.
Spurrier: But, uh, then, you may be asking, okay, well, so you play in different keys. You can do different ranges. Great. But like, is there any other kind of sonic benefit to it? And so, with most modern instruments, ‘cause they can play in pretty much every key, unless you have perfect pitch, you probably won’t really notice much of a difference between one key and another. Sure, it’s higher and lower, but not the actual quality of how it sounds.
Goodrich: There is some science behind it, actually…
Kyle: We’re not going-
Goodrich: We’re not going-
Kyle: -there.
Goodrich: -there, no! Yeah, yeah.
Spurrier: Basically, the long and short is that the physics of how sound works is not mathematically perfect, and so one key is technically, mathematically, the tiniest bit different from another. But that’s a whole different kettle of Zils and Gils and such.
Goodrich: [laughing] Right.
Kyle: [laughing] Yeah.
Goodrich: Much how Zils relate to Gils…
Spurrier: Yeah, exactly!
Goodrich: C sharp relates to D flat.
Spurrier: Um.
Goodrich: Not quite… but anyways, keep going, Spurrier.
Spurrier: So yeah, yeah. So again, people will say, oh this key sounds more bright or dark or neutral. And so, some of those, just to give kind of a taste… so a lot of people consider C to be kind of a neutral, just whatever kind of key, because a lot of people hear the key of C all the time. Again, if you’ve been listening to the show, you’ve been hearing it forever. Uh, and most people learn to play in the key of C.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: Yeah, so it’s just this very… [plays some C chords] And to kind of show this, we’re gonna use, uh, good ol’ “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to kind of show you some different keys. So, here’s C. [plays notes for “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” in C]
Goodrich: Aw, play it with the chords!
Spurrier: Oh, alright. [plays the song with chords]
Goodrich: [chuckles] Ah! There it is.
Spurrier: There we go. Um, and then some people will say that D is kind of a brighter sound.
Goodrich: Like especially on guitar. [strums D chord on guitar] It’s a very like, oh, hello! Open fields and sunshine!
Spurrier: Yeah. So… [play the song in D] So, obviously still the same song, but now in a different key.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Spurrier: Um, then some people might say that some of the flat keys are kind of more, mellow, which is a little weird because flats and sharps can be kind of the same thing. But we won’t get into that.
Goodrich: And harmonic equivalents!
Spurrier: Yeah, exactly.
Goodrich: Yes.
Spurrier: But that’s a whole different thing, but, just for the sake of it, here it is in a, uh, flat key. [plays the song in E flat] So yeah, uh…
Ali: Woah, man.
[laughter]
Ali: So mellow.
[all ahh in recognition and laughter]
Kyle: Wow…
Spurrier: So chill! Um…
[continuing laughter]
Spurrier: And then, of course, for all of you Spın̈al Tap fans at home, you obviously know that the key of D minor is the-
Goodrich: The saddest.
Spurrier: -saddest of all keys.
[Goodrich plays a D minor chord on guitar]
[Kyle chuckles]
Goodrich: Yes, yeah.
Spurrier: Uh, and we won’t reference that particular-
Goodrich: No-
Spurrier: -song here.
Goodrich: -no, that’s fine.
Spurrier: Um-
Goodrich: It’s generally thought of as like, the sharps are a brighter and then the flats are more of a mellow, but it’s kind of-
Spurrier: It doesn’t-
Goodrich: I- I don’t know. Since none of us has perfect pitch, it’s hard for us to say, yes! But there’s some people out there that are like, ah, dude, totally. A flat, man, that’s- that’s where it’s at for me, totally mellow. E flat, I’m all over that one, I’m writing all my, you know, ballads and chill out-
Spurrier: And then there’s-
Goodrich: But then there’s also like modulations which is when you change keys in the middle of a song. I mean you’ve heard that one-
Spurrier: I’ll like- [plays the song, then modulates to a higher key]
Goodrich: Oh boy!
Spurrier: And so on. Uh, but we’re not learning that today. But maybe-
Kyle: Not today!
Spurrier: -eventually Chaos Sauce-
Goodrich: Yes.
Spurrier: -will gain that sweet, sweet skill, But just-
Kyle: Maybe.
Spurrier: -changing keys is enough for right now. Would you-
Kyle: That’s a thing for a different pamphlet.
Spurrier: [laughing] Exactly!
[all laugh]
Ali: But, uh, how is this working within our game?
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: Yeah, exactly!
Goodrich: So, pretty much, what I think what we came up with, uh, while we were talking about it was, either Kyle will choose the key for us-
Ali: Like today.
Spurrier: Like he did today.
Goodrich: -which he’s kind of done here. And then- or, we’ll just roll a d12 and each face of the die will represent a different key. So, yeah!
Kyle: Great.
Goodrich: F today. Good a key as-
Ali: F today.
[all laugh]
Kyle: F today!
Goodrich: I’m done! And so-
Ali: It is a little rainy out today.
Kyle: Write a song tomorrow!
Goodrich: Right, yeah. So, no we’re writing in the key of F today, so we’ll roll the chord dice- and we’ll just go ahead and say what the, uh… [dice rolls]
Kyle: Well, luckily the chord dice that we use also have numbers at the top, so we can pretty much use those to replace our roman numerals. We don’t have to rely on the text on the dice.
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: That’s right. And do we want to do F major or F minor?
Goodrich: Oh boy. F maaaaaaajor.
Spurrier: ‘Cause-
Goodrich: We don’t want to throw too many flats in there!
Spurrier: Oh boy!
Goodrich: Ah jeez! [chuckles]
Spurrier: We’re trying to save the day? Guys? I don’t know.
Goodrich: F major.
Ali: Alrighty.
[dice rolls]
Goodrich: Awesome.
Ali: Uh, A minor-
Spurrier: F, C, and E diminished.
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: Not bad.
Goodrich: Yeah. It’s a pretty good one. So… Ali, drums.
Ali: Right! [coin flip] Alright, za B… [die roll] Alright, uh, so that’s a one-
Spurrier: Wow.
Goodrich: Oh!
Ali: -which is Reggaeton 2!
Goodrich: Alright!
Ali: [die roll] And the kit is… ninety-two! Which is… Techno 16.
Kyle: Huh.
Goodrich: Oh?
Kyle: Sweet. This should work out well.
Goodrich: Reggaeton techno, cool! Alright, well, sweet, well F major comin’ up! So… hope you enjoy this new key.
Kyle: Yep, go write a song. Listeners, talk to you in a second.
[digital riff transition]
[song from Vol 1 OST, “Middle Bit” begins]
Kyle: Hey, everyone! It’s your Dungeon Maestro Kyle, here. Just wanted to give you a thank you for tuning in and listening to our bardic adventures again. I want to start off by giving you some special news, mentioning that Chaos Sauce, Vol. 3, is coming down the pipeline. And you can expect to see that drop on our Bandcamp, April 2. So, again, as usual that’s a pay what you want. Go download it, get it as soon as it comes out. And uh, Goodrich is working his magic over the tracks one more time and uh, you know, putting that extra finish on it.
Kyle (continued): And of course, uh, as per usual, when there’s a Vol. 3 of Chaos Sauce, we also have a Vol. 3 for the OST. So that’s gonna be dropping two weeks after the Vol. 3 Chaos Sauce, which is gonna be on April 16. So, the OST will drop for you on April 16 on our Bandcamp and again, pay what you want! Just listen to those tunes, you can use them when you’re playing your games, uh, you know with your friends at the tabletop, or just enjoy them as a backing track to your life. Whatever you’re feeling.
Kyle (continued): So, I’m excited to get to mention our sponsor for today’s episode which comes to us from Dungeons and Randomness. Dungeons and Randomness is a D&D actual play podcast with a bit of a twist. Several groups of adventurers make their way in the world of Theria at the same time, actions can have dire consequences, and black and white choices are rare. Some seek fame and fortune, some seek revenge, and others are just trying to live their day-to-day lives. It’s not a campaign. It’s a living, breathing world. Check out dandrpodcast.com for more info. Or find Dungeons and Randomness wherever you get your podcasts.
Kyle (continued): Alright, so the rest of it is just the regular biz. I got bombardedcast.com for all of your bomBARDed needs. There you’re gonna find links to our Bandcamp; you can find our P.O. box. Uh, you can search social media for @bombardedcast to, you know, chat at us. And if you’re just posting about the show, you can use the hashtag #bardcast so we can see what’s going on. So, uh, that’s the regular biz that I got for ya. I’m gonna stop rambling, and we’re gonna go back to the show!
[music fades out]
[digital riff transition]
Ali (as Yashee): [echoey voice] Hey, Tabitha, we’re comin’!
Bards: Oh!
Ali (as Yashee): Nice acoustics!
[players chuckle]
Ali (as Yashee): Alright, I got an idea.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright.
Kyle: ‘Kay, you open up the- the folded note and you see the roman numerals I, III, I, VII-
Goodrich: [laughing] Right!
Kyle: -and V.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Perfect.
[drum intro of song, “Ep 32, What’s Going On,” begins, followed by keyboard joining]
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
Ahhhhhhhhhh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) and Spurrier (as Randy): [singing]
What’s going on?
What’s going on?
What’s going on?
What’s going on, now?
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
Ahhhhhhhhhh…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul) and Spurrier (as Randy): [singing]
What’s going on?
What’s going on?
What’s going on?
What’s going on, now?
Ali (as Yashee): [singing]
Ahhhhhhhhhh…
Ali (as Yashee): Uh, guys?
[music stops]
Ali (as Yashee): That’s where you were supposed to stop.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, ohhh.
Ali (as Yashee): I gave the little head nod.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Sorry, just getting into it. My bad.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Kyle: Okay, so-
[players laugh]
Kyle: As you begin playing the song, [background music begins] uh, you notice the doorknob, the little F that’s on the doorknob, kind of transformed into a small ear and listened. And uh, after you got to the end of your song, you hear that chk [SFX: lock clicking] of a lock-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: And you can tell that it’s open. And also, you’ve noticed that you’ve attracted some attention with your song playing.
Goodrich: [sighing] Ah jeez.
Kyle: And uh, as down the hallway you can see more of these shuffling, infected students headed your direction, what do?
Ali: Well, I don’t have my marbles this time.
[Spurrier chuckles]
Goodrich: No.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, into the room! Let’s go!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hurry.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Kyle: Okay. You dive into the room.
Goodrich: Ah- we have Pass Without Trace!
Spurrier: Close- close the door.
Goodrich: Maybe we should sneak into the room, right?
Kyle: Sneak into the room.
Goodrich: Sneak into the room. Sneak into the room.
Kyle: If you want to.
Ali: We squeeze ourselves in there.
Spurrier: Sneak into the room.
Goodrich: Alright. Do we need to roll-?
Kyle: That will be stealth- yeah stealth checks. See how stealthfully you can get into the room.
Goodrich: [die roll] Ah, much better.
[die roll]
Goodrich: I got a fourteen plus ten!
[die roll]
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Mine’s a nine.
Goodrich: Plus ten!
Ali: Oh god, okay.
Kyle: Yeah-
Ali: I’m sorry.
Kyle: -so, nineteen. Yeah, good.
Spurrier: And, uh, thirteen plus nine plus ten.
Kyle: Okay, cool. Yeah, you all dive into the room very stealthfully and… [Goodrich snickers] you take a moment as you’re on the inside. You got all your ears up to the door, listening. And you can hear the shuffling of these, uh, you know, infected students, move past and on down the hall.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Phew.
Kyle: And uh-
Ali: Shuffled to our sweet beat.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Yeah.
[music fades out]
Ali: Shuffled to the groove.
Goodrich: [singing] Duh, duh, duh-duh-duh-duh, duh.
Kyle: And uh, you turn around and notice you are in the utility workshop. And what’s in there… we’ll find out next time, listeners.
[bomBARDed theme song fades in]
Goodrich: Ohhh!!
Ali: What?!