Episode 19 – One Way or Another
[Theme music plays]
Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to BomBARDed. I’m gonna recap last episode real quick so we can get into the mix of things. So last time, we began with our adventurers going into Squid Vicious’s lair, and Squid had mentioned that their pet Ivan was going to be meeting them. So as they entered in, they saw this weird kind of viscous, grayish-black liquid that lined the walls of the hallway they were in. Eventually, this wound up creeping after Yashee had thrown one of Rhiannon’s fingers at it and it ate that finger.
Ali: I picked it up.
Kyle: Which specifically was the index finger; it is important for me to note that.
Goodrich: Saving that middle one for Squid.
Kyle: There you go.
[Players chuckle]
Kyle: So that happened, and this ooze-like being coalesced into being in front of you, blocking your passageway. And after a little bit of fighting with it, Randy, you accidentally split it in half by throwing some lightning at it.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: And after some fire, some Thunderwave, some Moonbeaming, these two eventually just were defeated. And Squid was quite upset with this and began to irritate you – specifically Raz’ul – and trying to figure out, what was it that your brothers did to really grind your gears?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: And this eventually led to Squid just berating you mentally and saying things over and over like “poo-poo-purri.”
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: So you guys did what you do best and-
Goodrich: It definitely didn’t feel like you, Kyle.
Kyle: No, no, no. No, not me at all.
Goodrich: You would never talk to me like that, right?
Kyle: I wouldn’t do that to you.
Goodrich: Thanks, Kyle.
Kyle: So this led to you guys making a song to be able to just really drown out Squid’s voice, and Squid eventually decided “okay, maybe I was being childish. Please, come on and let’s talk. Let’s be a little bit more civil.”
Goodrich: Yeah, Gambin-go-away … that doesn’t work. Never mind. Childish…yeah, do. [Players laugh] Really bad.
Kyle: So you ventured further into Squid’s lair and made it through a few rooms, one of which you found that flask that I had mentioned.
Spurrier: Sounded kind of windy or something.
Kyle: Yeah, yeah, had that weird sound when you opened it up. But as you were making your way through, Squid was talking to you, and he brought up many different points, but the most notable one of them was the existence of these celestial beings called the Lyreions. They had gifted the surface dwellers something called the Voice of the World, although Squid didn’t seem to really know what it was, but he believed they were doing so with malicious intent. Squid also mentioned that they couldn’t be trusted, and – just because they couldn’t read their minds. So as you were going through these rooms, you eventually found yourself in this longish room that had these containment units in them. And this is where you found Jermaine’s body inside one of these containment units – you managed to get it open – and there was something wriggling, crawling underneath his skin.
Spurrier: Gross.
Kyle: And as you were – yeah, absolutely. As you were investigating this, this is when Squid came up and actually caught you off guard. Squid tried to pull off some kind of scionic move that hindered your brain or, you know, knocked you out. It knocked out the other miners, but it didn’t seem to have an effect on you three.
Goodrich: We’re all over eighteen.
Kyle: That’s right. [Snickers] So this caught Squid Vicious by surprise, and they seemed really confused by it. So that’s pretty much where we picked up, with Squid Vicious being like, “You aren’t – no.”
Goodrich: No.
Spurrier: Yes, maybe. Of course.
Kyle: “Or are you.” So let’s go ahead and pick up there.
Goodrich: Can I just say, you remember when our biggest problem was like Gareth? [Players laugh] But Kyle, actually, can I – well, okay. I wanna sneak out my Ira Glass and like kind of purposefully butt-dial Splash so that he can, like, listen in on this conversation we’re probably about to have. Can I do like a sleight of hand just to kind of pull out my Ira Glass and pull it up to my mouth and just go-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Coughing] Symbol!
Goodrich: -and just try to activate it so that Splash can hear and-
Kyle: Give me a sleight of hand check real quick.
Goodrich: [rolls dice] Thirteen plus one for Jack of All Trades, fourteen.
Kyle: Okay. So you slip it out, you’re palming it pretty well. You think you’ve got it hidden, so you say – you can cough and say “Symbol.”
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Coughs] Symbol! [continues coughing]
Kyle: And you hear a “hello?”
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Surprised noise]
Goodrich: And I put it back in my pocket.
Kyle: Uh-
Goodrich [as Raz’ul]: Sorry guys. I had a – it’s a little stuffy in here, my allergies are kicking up, so…
Goodrich: But I’m glad the reception down here worked for reaching Splash, so…
Kyle: So yeah, as you’re doing this, Squid’s still looking very confused. And you begin to hear Squid speak-
Kyle (as Squid): No, you aren’t them, because this – this works.
Kyle: And Squid points back and forth between your heads and theirs.
Kyle (as Squid): And then also, there’s the qua-
Kyle: Before they finish that word, you hear this other voice in your head that goes-
Kyle (as other voice): Return to me!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aaah!
Spurrier (as Randy): Whoa!
Ali (as Yashee): Ohoho!
Kyle: And Squid instantly – you see their eyes just beam open, and they lift up and float backwards through the door that they came through. And the door spirals closed, cutting off the path of the water, so that water stream is no longer there.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What!?
Ali: I call out –
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, where you goin’? Wait!
[Goodrich sighs]
Kyle: No response.
Goodrich: So you said it spirals closed. Is it like a portal that closed or-
Kyle: No, it’s more like a dilating door, where it’s just – you know.
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: Closes in a circle.
Goodrich: Kinda like in Golden Eye and stuff.
Kyle: Yeah, the cavern.
Ali: Ahh.
Goodrich: Like a sphincter.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah, like a sphincter.
Ali: I guess like a sphincter.
Goodrich: Yeah, but that’s really what it’s called. That’s like the term for those-
Kyle: Yes.
Goodrich: -right?
Kyle: Yes, it is.
Ali: Sphincter says what?
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: Oh boy!
Kyle: So at this point, the door in front of you is closed, the stream of water is no longer pouring through it. The miners are on the ground unconscious, and I need everybody to make a perception check.
Spurrier: And we’re still in the room where we found Jermaine?
Kyle: Jermaine, yes.
Spurrier: Okay, cool.
[Multiple dice rolls]
Ali: That’s a sixteen plus one.
Spurrier: That is an eighteen plus three.
Goodrich: Thirteen plus five.
Kyle: Sweet. You all hear this. Behind you and through the passage that was to your right when you entered, you hear the pitter-patter of fishy feet.
[Spurrier chuckles]
Ali: Aww.
Goodrich: That’s not a phrase you hear often, “fishy feet.”
Kyle: Yeah.
[Imitation of wet footsteps and bubbles]
Ali: Like shoes that have been like soaked in a puddle and are all squishy?
Goodrich: Oh, okay.
Kyle: No, it sounds more like slapping.
Ali: Oh.
Goodrich: Oh.
[Imitation of bubbles]
Goodrich: Okay.
Ali: Okay, well.
Goodrich: And I call out and I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bleep blop bloop bloop!
Goodrich: -or whatever you said the other episode.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: That’s actually it, I think. I think that’s exactly what I said.
Goodrich: [laughing] Yeah, I think it is.
Spurrier: You’re fluent! Nice!
Goodrich: Oh boy! I’m learning.
Kyle: Uh, there’s no response.
Goodrich: Oh.
Spurrier: We’re still hearing the pitter-patter though?
Kyle: Oh, no. It eventually stops.
Spurrier: Oh, okay, okay. I was gonna say.
Ali: Did it sound like it was like coming and going, like, got louder?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: Right.
Kyle: So – also, miners are unconscious on the ground.
Spurrier: I was about to ask.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: What do?
Goodrich: Well, and also, Yashee, I got something for your – what ails ya, your – because you got, you’re down hit points, right? So I-
Ali: Yeah, I’m down quite a few actually.
Goodrich: Yeah. I know Cure Wounds, so do you mind if I – we could do like a Sistine Chapel, just like touch each other’s finger.
[Ali giggles]
Goodrich: -Ooouuuch – and then I can heal you.
Ali: Alright. I’m bringing it in. Here we go.
Goodrich: Here we go.
Spurrier: Well, actually, since Yashee is so low, I’ve got the same spell. I’ll have to play it, but we can get like all three, all of our hands in there.
Goodrich: We could do a Rock Circle!
[Players exclaim]
Goodrich: Yes!
Kyle: Definitely.
Goodrich: So also, real quick, I mean – a Rock Circle, for those – well, I guess for everyone, really – whenever we’re done, as Lindby, playing a show, and we’re about to leave and go home, we do a thing where we, you know, create your “rock,” you know-
Spurrier: -where you’re holding up your index and pinky finger.
Ali: Rock hands.
Goodrich: And then we interlock them, and you know, we say “rock circle, 3, 2, 1”-
[Goodrich and Ali yell]
Spurrier: You feel this surge of power.
Goodrich: Feel the electricity, yeah.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: So man, in-game Rock Circle!
Kyle: It’s like a Chain Lightning spell.
Goodrich: Yeah, it’s so awesome! Okay, so yeah. So do you want to play yours, I guess?
Spurrier: Sure. I suppose I should do that. So Randy pulls out his organ, gets ready for some healing magic.
Kyle: Oh yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): [singing, accompanied by keyboard] Healing up Yashee-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh!
Spurrier (as Randy): [singing] -Making her so fresh and healthy. Yashee’s gonna be so free! [music ends] Ah.
Ali (as Yashee): [Refreshed] Ah.
Kyle: Nice.
Goodrich: And mine’s a druid spell, so I just say
“uhh.”
Spurrier: You just do it.
Kyle: Sweet.
Goodrich: Boop. So here we go. Rock it up.
Kyle: Yashee, *time to get some healing.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Get ready for the Rock circle in 3-
Goodrich and Spurrier: -2, 1-
[Players yell together]
Ali [as Yashee]: Wow guys. I feel so much better now. Thanks so much!
Goodrich: Let’s see-
Spurrier: Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): Like a whole new Yashee!
Spurrier: Let’s see if you actually do feel better. We roll-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh wait (fakes a cough] I don’t know yet.
Goodrich: So I’m doing mine just as a first-level.
Spurrier: Yeah, same, since we’re both doing it. And mine’s gonna be a 1D8 plus three.
Goodrich: Mine’s 1D8 plus two!
Kyle: Right on.
Goodrich: Here we go.
[Multiple dice rolls]
Spurrier: That is a five plus three.
Goodrich: And mine’s a six plus two.
Ali: Alright.
Kyle: Alright, eight, eight, sixteen.
Ali: Pretty nice!
Goodrich: Alright!
Ali (as Yashee): I do feel better!
Goodrich: Hurray!
Spurrier: Hurray!
Ali (as Yashee): Sixteen points better, to be exact.
[Players chuckle]
Kyle: Okay. So you’ve healed Yashee a little bit. Again, there are three unconscious miners on the ground.
Goodrich: I slap all three of them, right across the face.
Ali: Can we go shake them a little bit?
Ali (as Yashee): Hey!
Kyle: You shake them.
Ali (as Yashee): Wake up.
Kyle: Who are you shaking, Yashee?
Ali: All of them. No.
Goodrich: Sh-sh-sh.
Kyle: All of them at once? You just put them in a pile and shake them all.
Goodrich: Aww.
Ali: I’ll go up to Erin. I feel closer to her.
Kyle: Okay. So you go up to Erin and shake her, and she kinda-
Kyle (as Erin): [sleepily] What? Oh!
Kyle: She grabs her head and rubs it really hard. You can see she looks like she’s in pain. And her eyes open and they’re very – just, the pupils are dilated like crazy, swimming around, trying to gain focus. And then finally, it looks like she’s looking at you, and and she’s like-
Kyle (as Erin): [groans] What just happened?
Goodrich: Oh boy. So, good news/bad news, again. Good news: Squid’s gone. Bad news: so is the water. Aaaand…
Ali (as Yashee): You got mind-slapped. He just came and slapped your mind.
Kyle (as Erin): Mind-slapped. Oh, yeah, that’s about what it feels like. Man! Where’s Trish and Wimpy?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, over here. They’re also passed out.
Goodrich: I slap them again.
Kyle: They kinda stir and wake up, and both of them react the same way as Erin did. And they all look just wrecked.
Goodrich: Hmm.
Kyle: They do not look in a good way.
Goodrich: Ah.
Kyle: So – and Raz’ul, as you’re shaking Boom Queen – Boom Queen, when she comes to, she’s-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Raz’ul, is your butt talking?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What? Oh, because of Splash! Right!
[Players laugh]
Ali: Oopsies.
Goodrich: I take out the Ira Glass and I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Splash, Splash, you still there? You still there, bro?
Kyle (as Symbol): You got it right the first time, it’s Symbol.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right, right. Okay.
Kyle (as Symbol): What’s up? What’s going on? What –
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So-
Kyle (as Symbol): Nobody said anything. You called me and then I didn’t hear anything other-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [sighs] Jeez.
Ali (as Yashee): You heard a “brr”?
[Players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That wasn’t me. Anyway-
Kyle: Roll a deception check. I’m joking.
Goodrich: It was a four.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, it totally was. Gross.
[Players keep laughing]
Goodrich: Anyways, can I just tell Splash all that’s happened up to this point?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: So we all three then-
Spurrier: Regale him.
Goodrich: -regale him, and I guess we can also, at the same time, regale the miners with what they missed when they got knocked.
Kyle: Knocked out?
Goodrich: Yeah. And I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So Splash, what do you make of that?
Kyle (as Symbol): Uhhhh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Take your time.
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s – you’re being careful, right?
Goodrich: I mean, as careful as we can be in this crazy freakin’ cave with mind-squid and fish folks and-
Kyle (as Symbol: Um, I’d get out of there.
Goodrich: But wait, the water’s gone, you know.
Ali (as Yashee): We’ve already come so far.
Kyle (as Symbol): I would be reluctant not to direct you to leave if – you know, ‘cause I don’t wanna get in trouble again; your safety is important. This doesn’t sound g- – I mean, I can’t make you do anything at this point. My recommendation is get out safely. If you want to try to continue helping out these people, you can, but you gotta think about is your life worth it. I mean-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [nervously] Will you stay on the line with us, just in case?
Kyle (as Symbol): I mean, I can do what I can, but I’m-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What are you doing right now? What are you doing right now, Splash?
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, what’s going on up there?
Kyle (as Symbol): Chilling in Basom, having a drink.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What?
Spurrier (as Randy): Proof.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): For real?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah.
[Goodrich sighs]
Kyle (as Symbol): Just, you know-
Ali (as Yashee): Figured you’d like sneak down after us or something ‘cause you really care about us.
Kyle (as Symbol): Oh, no, I had to go back with the-
[Overlapping conversation and laughter*]
Kyle (as Symbol): No, I had to go back with the Bureaucrats because, again, I was being, you know, Luey Hewis and everything, so...
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right. What’s the word topside? Any-
Kyle (as Symbol): They’ve all packed up and headed on. And they’re frustrated, of course, ‘cause they were pretty excited about being able to go down there, but they’re having to regroup and redecide on who’s actually in the jurisdiction of what’s going on down there, which I don’t know if anybody is, from the sound of what you’re telling me. I will say this: If you decide to stay down there and follow through with what you promised these townspeople, I will not sell you out. I will not throw you under the … cart.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You were gonna?
Kyle (as Symbol): No. I’m letting you know that I am not going to say, “They didn’t listen to me.” I’m going to say that I advised them; I think they did the right thing.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hmmm.
Kyle (as Symbol): If I didn’t say “be safe and get out,” I wouldn’t be doing my job. But I want you to be able to overcome these challenges.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Spurrier (as Randy): Right.
Kyle (as Symbol): You know, we’re collecting history. You’re actually being a part of that history at this point.
Spurrier (as Randy): Isn’t that the truth.
Kyle (as Symbol): So-
Ali (as Yashee): We get like an automatic A, too, right?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yashee.
Ali (as Yashee): Come on.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean, seriously.
Ali (as Yashee): I know we’re only like a week into the semester, but-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Seems like a pretty big score.
Kyle (as Symbol): I know how you three worry about your grades, and don’t worry about it for this one. Believe me, you’re getting – you know how there’s A’s? Well, I do a special one, S. Don’t say what it’s for. I swear to God, if you say that name again …
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I was gonna say, S for Super duper Splash.
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah, that’s bye.
Spurrier (as Randy): Bye!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Bye. We’ll keep you updated, Splash. Bye.
Spurrier (as Randy): Thanks for your recommendations.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Love you!
Kyle (as Symbol): [pauses] I love you too.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aww, he said it! Well-
Ali (as Yashee): We’re not gonna listen to him, right?
Spurrier (as Randy): No, no.
Ali (as Yashee): Just making sure.
Kyle: Erin sits up and she’s looking at you three very oddly. She says-
Kyle (as Erin): So that – that thing didn’t do anything to y’all, did it? Y’all didn’t – y’all don’t seem like … like us. Uh, we got dropped like a sack of rocks.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Now, it tried that striz on us, but, you know, we were [scoffs] fine.
Spurrier: and our necks glowed, right, when that happened?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: They, like, glowed again? I’m just making sure.
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: Are they still-
Kyle: No.
Spurrier: -glowing? Okay.
Goodrich: I check your back, just-
Spurrier (as Randy): Thanks.
Goodrich: It’s fine, I guess.
Kyle: The scar looks a little bit bigger than it was before.
Goodrich: Oh boy.
Kyle: But it doesn’t look like – it just looks a little bit bigger. That’s it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It’s a little bit bigger-
Goodrich: I tell you.
Spurrier (as Randy): Great.
Goodrich: And I poke it, just like we do. [Ali giggles] okay. Well, you said that the footsteps are coming from the right, so…
Spurrier: Yeah, we haven’t been off to the right.
Kyle: Nope, not yet.
Goodrich: You wanna check out – we heard some footsteps, miner crew.
Spurrier: Yeah. Miners, do you guys feel like you can get up? Do you need to rest? Like, do you need to leave? Like, where are you guys at?
Ali (as Yashee): We’re gonna keep going in trying to fix this and find out what’s going on here, so...
Spurrier (as Randy): But if you guys are gonna be susceptible to this, I don’t know, it’s kind of worrisome.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, I mean, we’re just desert town miners, so, uh – I mean, but you three are obviously much more than that, which-
[Goodrich laughs]
Spurrier (as Randy): We’re Chaos Sauce.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, but I mean-
Kyle: -and Erin darts a quick look over to Boom Queen, and Boom Queen kinda chimes in, says-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): So, uh, who y‘all really with? Y’all secret government projects? You one of them voodoo creations by one of them gold wizards from Arcanium University or something? What’s up with y’all?
Spurrier: Whoa, totally.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Oh, okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No, we’re not.
Spurrier (as Randy): No, no. It would be so cool though. Sorry. I got caught up in the moment.
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’re from Strumlotts. We just-
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, we got waitlisted for that other school.
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: Whatever that was.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Okay. I’m just – you know. Seems like Erin had a lot of stock in y’all, and we took her word for it, but you’re not like any other bards we’ve met from Strumlotts.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Do you meet a lot of bards from Strumlotts?
Kyle (as Boom Queen): No, but, you know. Come through every once in a while. Again, desert town, not that many people want to come out; plus, we don’t really like them outsiders anyway. So, just …
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hopefully you’ll think twice now. We’re from outside of Basom.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Yeah, you know, this – it could be a pivotal moment in our town’s culture and decision on how we treat people, so how this ends may very much affect what happens in the future of our lives.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No pressure.
Spurrier: Oh man.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So what’s the verdict? You guys wanna – I mean, we’re not gonna-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): We still wanna figure out where the problem with the water’s gone. If y’all are able to clear the way, we might actually be able to do something about that. But, heh heh, I can tell you right now, we – we ain’t going anywhere near that one again.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That one what?
Spurrier (as Randy): That squid?
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Whatever that Squiddy boy is.
[Goodrich and Spurrier make sounds of agreement]
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Squiddy thing, whatever. The Alien.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That’s a good call.
Spurrier: And Kyle, the water was coming from the doorway that is closed?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: It’s not coming from the right. Okay.
Kyle: Yeah.
Spurrier: So I turn to the miners-
Spurrier (as Randy): So do you guys wanna stay here and keep an eye on the water, like in case the door opens, and we can kinda figure out what’s up?
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): ‘Cause you guys don’t seem like you’re in amazing shape.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): No, and especially not this naked boy on the ground here. So we might-
Spurrier: Uh-oh.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): -might keep an eye on him as well.
Spurrier (as Randy): That would be-
Ali (as Yashee): That’s right.
Spurrier: ‘Cause he’s not dead, as far as we can tell? Okay.
Kyle: Doesn’t seem dead.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: Phew.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Plus, you got that help from that – that fishy dead thing. Is it-
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, Zil.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Is Zil dead?
Spurrier (as Randy): Undead, I think.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Undead?
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): You sure you’re not one of them voodoo creations-
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, that wasn’t – I mean, since we’re all down here and being friends, I ate a gem that has a wizard inside of it, and he did that.
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Boom Queen): What the-
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah, we’ll talk about it later, but, I mean, you know...
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): *Don’t worry about it.
Spurrier: We’re getting really kind of bonded now, so... So that was him, that wasn’t me.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Oh, alright.
Kyle: Trish gives Erin a very odd look, just like “yeah? Alright?” and Erin turns to you three-
Kyle (as Erin): We’re gonna rest up here. Y’all – y’all go on ahead. I mean, if you wanna rest, we can keep some eyes on the ways, just to make sure nothing pops up on us, if you need a little bit.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle (as Erin): I mean, we’ve all been going through this together, so … you need some eyes?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul: Sure.
Kyle (as Erin): This is just for a moment. We ain’t going anywhere.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): We can take a quick rest.
Spurrier (as Randy): A short rest.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Let’s do it.
Kyle (as Erin): Haha, that’s pretty funny, Randy.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, we’re all kinda – yeah. Aw man.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah. Alright.
Spurrier: Well, should we rest?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, that’d be good, because I
Get my transforms back-
Spurrier: Oh nice.
Goodrich: -after a short rest.
Spurrier: Yes.
Goodrich: Cool!
Kyle: You’re welcome.
Goodrich: Thanks, Kyle!
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Okay, so you take a short rest. Roll hit dice if you need to.
[Dice roll]
Spurrier: Alright.
Kyle: Or want to. What’d you get?
Ali: Two.
Kyle: Oh yeah! You wanna use more than one?
Ali: I don’t know. I got quite a bit off of the Rock Circle healing so...
[Dice roll]
Goodrich: Yeah, we hooked you up.
Ali: I’ll just – I’ll stick with two.
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier: And I got a six, which amazingly puts me right back at full health.
Goodrich: Hurray!
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: Does that take care of you on your short rest?
[Players agree]
Spurrier: Should be good.
Ali: Think we’re good.
Kyle: Okay. As the short rest comes to an end, Yashee, your bones are feeling weird!
Ali (as Yashee): Oh!
Kyle: What’s happening, what’s going on with those bones?
Ali: What does that mean?
Kyle: They start stretching out and reforming back into your normal-size Yashee.
Ali: Oh, has it already been two hours?
Kyle: Yeah. [Goodrich snickers] I’m thinking, between walking through the cavern after the Roper, and then getting all the Gil stuff figured out, and then what happened in front of the cave and whatnot, and walking through all this area and getting through it.
Spurrier: And then having a rest on top of that.
Kyle: And then a rest on top of it.
Ali: Oh yeah. Okay.
Goodrich: And I definitely made some potpourri for the rest, too, so that takes some time.
Ali: So I’ll get up and stretch, and I guess I just keep stretching.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yes.
Ali: Like-
Ali (as Yashee): Wait a second.
Ali: My voice goes-
Ali: I’m so [voice deepens] – oh, I’m back!
Goodrich [as Raz’ul]: That was awesome.
Ali (as Yashee): Whoa!
Spurrier [as Randy]: Nicely done.
Ali (as Yashee): That’s the best stretch I’ve ever had!
Goodrich: Yeah, for real!
Kyle: Miners are just laughing, just like-
Kyle (as miners): [Giggle] You three really are weird.
[Players laugh]
Ali (as Yashee) Thanks!
Goodrich [as Raz’ul): (laughing) thanks! [voice goes up and down] Yeah, weird, uh puberty!
[Players keep laughing]
Kyle: Alright. So that finishes out the short rest. We got regular-size Yashee now. Everyone’s feeling good, ready to go forward. What do?
Goodrich: Oh yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right? The room to the right? Go-
Ali (as Yashee): Let’s go that way.
Goodrich: We heard the footsteps and we’re like “yeah, they’ll be fine.” Took a rest, “Alright, let’s go see if those footsteps are still happening.”
Ali: Somebody went down that way.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: You enter a large circular room. There are holes in the ceiling – there’s about four holes in the ceiling. But the main thing that catches your attention is that there are two lines of Gils.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: And all of them are holding a slate, and each has a letter written in Elvish script on it. Raz’ul, you’re able to read this, and you can see that on the left side, it spells out “dummy,” D-U-M-M-Y.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: The right side spells out “Voyeur,” V-O-Y-E-U-R.
Goodrich: ‘Kay. I let you guys know that-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): My Elvish is a little rusty, but looks like they’re spelling out “Dummy” on the left and “Voyeur?” on the right, which is weird, but... Hey Gils. What’s up with your signs? You practicing for the school play or something? What is this?
Kyle: You’re talking to them, and none of them respond. They all just stand there, looking mindlessly – kinda their eyes are moving independently of each other-
Goodrich: Oh boy.
Kyle: -in weird ways, and they’re just standing there holding this.
Spurrier: Zil is with us, right?
Kyle: Yeah, Zil is with you.
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, you wanna go up and poke one of them, please?
Kyle (as Zil): [Grunts]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Just go kick one.
Kyle: Zil takes his own arm and walks over and pokes one of the other Gils with it.
Spurrier: Nothing happens?
Kyle: No reaction.
Spurrier: Huh.
Ali: Alrighty.
Goodrich: Is there anything else in here, Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah. You – after you see these Gils that are lined up, you see that there is a doorway to the left, kinda slants down a little bit, and you can actually hear that waterfall sound that you heard in the last room, which came through the door that Squid made his egress through.
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: But other than that, there is a door across the way, which has a slight incline to it, but you could go through it if you want to.
Spurrier: So is the water one by the "Dummy" or by the “Voyeur” or…
Kyle: “Dummy” is on the left, so it’s to the left. Yes.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: Ooh.
Spurrier: And then the other one’s in between the two words, the one that’s going up?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: Okay. So as long as Zil is over there by them, I’m just gonna have-
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, can you pull one of those slates off, see if-
Kyle (as Zil): [grunts]
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Zil grabs one of the slates with its single hand, tries to pull on it, but is unable to free the slate from the Gil that’s holding it.
Spurrier: Okay.
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Gil, let me give you a hand over there.
Goodrich: I go over, try to help Gil out.
Kyle: Give me a strength check.
Goodrich: Okay. [Rolls dice] Ooh, sixteen plus three plus one for Jack of All Trades.
Kyle: Okay. That’s a soft twenty.
Goodrich: Yay! [Yeah! Sound effect] Oh!
Spurrier: Just a little one.
Goodrich: Ha!
Kyle: Okay. So you have this slate in your hand.
Goodrich: Which one did I grab? I guess-
Kyle: Which one did you grab?
Goodrich: Which one was Zil grabbing?
Spurrier: That was up to Zil. I just told him to grab one.
Kyle: He grabbed the first letter.
Spurrier: The D of “Dummy”?
Kyle: The D – what would be the D of “Dummy.”
Goodrich: So I hold it up, I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Look. This is a D in Elvish. We’re learning.
Spurrier: And does the Gil do anything when it’s been taken?
Kyle: Just stands there like it’s still holding a slate.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hmm.
Ali (as Yashee): Try breaking it. Smash it.
Goodrich: I break it over my knee.
Kyle: It breaks.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh.
Ali: Did anything happen?
Kyle: Nothing happens.
Goodrich: Okay.
Ali: We already started smashing things.
Kyle: Now it just says “ummy Voyeur.”
Goodrich: Okay, I just leave it there.
Ali (as Yashee): Uh, could this be like a rearrange-the-letters kind of thing? You just messed it up.
Spurrier: That’s what I was thinking at first.
[Players laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): Anybody got any glue?
Ali: Does Zil have any like zombie goo coming off of him that we could use as an adhesive?
Goodrich: Kyle, is there any goo?
Ali: A stony adhesive?
Kyle: Who wants to give me a nature check?
[Ali laughs]
Goodrich: Oh, I will. Druid time! [Rolls dice] Fourteen plus one.
Kyle: You, in the past, have come across certain fish that have organs that may produce some kind of adhesive. You wanna try?
Goodrich: Okay. Yeah, I’ll just stick it on Gil’s leg.
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, can you ooze a bit for us?
Kyle: Uh-
Kyle (as Zil): [Grunts quizzically)
Kyle: And Zil takes a spear that it still had and kind of – [Players wince] – cuts into himself a little bit.
Ali: Oh no!
Kyle: and squeezes, and you see this little goo come out - and takes his hand and holds it out to your face.
Spurrier (as Randy): Most appreciated. Put it over there, please.
Spurrier: And I point at the – well, I point at you, Raz’ul.
Goodrich: I put it back together and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Huuh, thanks, Gil.
Kyle: You put it back together on the ground, and Zil wipes his hand over it as you hold it in place. And-
Goodrich: It looks like Wilson now, and I make a little face on it.
[Chuckles]
Kyle: It’s the back side, so-
Goodrich: Wilson!
Spurrier: Zil is handy.
Goodrich: Yeah. I put it back in the Gil’s hand and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): My bad.
Kyle: Okay. It’s holding it.
Goodrich: Sweet.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright. Well, shall we head towards the water then?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, yeah. Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah. Well, hang on.
Spurrier: And I turn toward Zil.
Kyle (as Zil): [Grunts]
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil? I appreciate the glue, but I have one more favor to ask. Can you get down on one knee?
Kyle (as Zil): [Grunts]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Chuckles] Oh, is this it? The moment?
Spurrier (as Randy): It is.
[Players laugh]
Spurrier: And I hop on Zil.
Goodrich: Oh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Tally ho. I’m tired of walking.
Kyle (as Zil): [Grumbles]
Spurrier (as Randy): Thank you, Zil.
Goodrich: Okay. I guess your little feet are getting all wet.
Spurrier: Yeah, exactly.
Goodrich: All the water. Getting a little chill.
Spurrier: Don’t want it to get all gross, all that hair.
Ali: (Snorts) Get a little fungus, you don’t need that.
Spurrier: Right. [Chuckles]
Kyle: Right on. Okay. So you’re heading in the direction of the waterfall.
Spurrier: Yes.
Goodrich: Yes.
Kyle: Cool. So you’re heading toward the sound of where the water is coming from, and as you get closer, it gets louder. And you enter this large onion-shaped room.
Goodrich: Do we start crying?
Ali: The waterfall’s actually tears?
Kyle: Roll a constitution check to see if you start crying from this onion-shaped, yet not onion-stinky, room.
[Dice roll]
Goodrich: Or if it’s just a beautiful waterfall.
Kyle: It’s so gorgeous, you’re moved.
Ali: I got a sixteen. Definitely crying.
Kyle: Okay. So you wanna-
Goodrich: You wanted to cry?
Ali: Oh, I thought that’s what we were going for is – are we crying? Can we?
Spurrier: We’re just moved.
Ali: No? Okay.
Kyle: You can cry if you want to. I mean, if you’re trying to stifle tears then, you know-
Goodrich: You know what? I’m just gonna cry too. It’s been a long time and I’m just tired. I’m just ready to see something nice.
Ali: Just need to let it out.
Kyle: You just took a short rest.
Ali: I miss being little.
Spurrier: I’m gonna let Zil do the weeping for me.
Goodrich: Do you tell him “Zil”-weep
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, please weep now.
Kyle (as Zil): [grunts]
Goodrich: [Laughing] I grab Zil and I-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I know, bud. It’s so-
Ali: It’s like goo tears, like the thing out of his-
Goodrich: Oh, that’s what we need…
Spurrier: That’s what we can do. I need to bottle that up and sell it later.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: I have something to put them in, if you want.
Kyle: So you’re collecting Zil tears.
Goodrich: And I’m just crying while I do it.
Kyle: Okay. So water is pouring from the ceiling and from faces.
Goodrich: [Quietly] Yay.
Kyle: You notice where the water is pouring from on the ceiling. It actually looks like somebody’s broken the upper part of this curved wall of this room to cause this waterfall to happen, and it’s pouring down into a porthole that kinda sticks up out of the floor. But the waterfall is a little off-center, so some of it goes in the porthole, some of it’s pouring onto the floor, which – this room’s actually built up about six inches of water in it, so we’re calling this, technically, difficult terrain. So it’s gonna be a little bit harder to move – you’ve got half movement – and if anything comes up, keep that in mind. But-
Ali: For six inches of water?
Kyle: Yeah, for some of you, that’s a lot. That’s a, you know-
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: Is it rough terrain for me?
Kyle: It might be soon enough. I’ll make an exception to the taller-
Ali: Well, I just wanted to check. More puddle – puddle size for Yashee, but-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Randy and I are getting a little worried.
Ali: Maybe that’s why I’m crying.
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): This used to be hard.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: So other than the waterfall and the porthole, you notice, near the waterfall, on the ceiling, you notice that there’s a hole that leads up. You also notice that there are a number of large rocks that are on the ground that you can pretty much guess are from the hole in the ceiling where the waterfall is coming from. Other than the hole in the ceiling and other than the entrance you came in, there is an entrance across the way which leads up. To the left, you notice that there’s a door that is closed, which you assume to be the door that Squid closed when they backed out of the transformation chamber rooms.
Goodrich: Okay. So that would just go back to the room we all started in?
Kyle: Yes.
Goodrich: Where the miners still are?
Kyle: Yes.
Goodrich: Okay. Gotcha.
Kyle: Also in this room, you see a large glass dome that’s lined with swirling, dark metal. The glass is thick and has a green hue to it, kinda like, you know, old soda bottles and everything. But the dome is about fifteen foot tall, and if you were to see all the way around it, you’d see fifteen feet around. And there’s a bunch of liquid inside of it, but there’s nothing else in there.
Ali: I’d like to investigate that a little bit.
Goodrich: Me too.
Kyle: Okay, go and roll me some investigations.
[Multiple dice rolls]
Ali: Well, I got an eight.
Kyle: Okay.
[Oh yeah! Sound effect]
Goodrich: Ohoh!
Kyle: Oh man!
Spurrier: Plus one.
Ali: Yay!
Goodrich: I got a five plus one, six.
Kyle: Cool. Raz’ul and Yashee, you’re just looking at it like – you know, you’ve got your hands cupped over your eyes like you’re looking into a fish tank, like “weird, weird stuff.”
Goodrich: We’re still crying, too.
Ali: Just can’t get through it.
Kyle: It’s hard to see through the tears.
Goodrich: Can’t get it together, yeah.
Ali: Dad always said don’t go chasing waterfalls.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Randy, as you’re investigating this large dome, you notice, at the bottom, there – it looks like there’s a door. There’s a weird door that-
Spurrier: Built into this metal bowl thing?
Kyle: Yeah, built into the floor of this metal bowl. It’s a big door.
Spurrier: Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, guys, there’s a door.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh boy, another freakin’ door.
Spurrier (as Randy): Just our strength.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Where? I don’t see it. I don’t see a door.
Spurrier (as Randy): No, here on the – here on the bottom.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What?
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, point.
Kyle (as Zil): [groans]
Spurrier (as Randy): Thank you.
Kyle: Zil points to the bottom.
Ali (as Yashee): Ohhh! Oh, I see it now. I see it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Ohh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well-
Ali (as Yashee): Too bad there’s this dome surrounding it. Can’t really get in there.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul)?: Hmmm.
Kyle: So as you’re investigating this door, you actually start to hear, like, pounding on the door that’s closed, behind you – or the door that was to the left when you walked in. But you can hear this pounding, and you can hear the miners going-
Kyle (as miners): [weakly] Hey! Hey!
Kyle: You just hear – it’s very faint, and you can almost hear them better coming from around the way you came. And you just hear fish people.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh-oh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh, okay.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Back to the miners.
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, charge!
Kyle: Zil slumps off through the water-
Kyle (as Zil): [groans]
Kyle: -back the way you came. Are you all going?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: Yeah, we probably should.
Spurrier: Yeah, let’s go.
Kyle: Okay. So you all begin dashing your way back to the miners. You go through the room that you had just come from. All of those Gils are still standing there, holding their slate – the one being glued. And you come back into the room with the miners, and you notice there’s another line of Gils that are standing there with different slates. And the miners are all cornered off against the closed door. Erin just says-
Kyle (as Erin): They just climbed up the way we came, and they just started standing. We thought they were gonna attack us, kill us or something, but they’re just standing there with these – with these slates.
Goodrich: What do the slates say? Can I see?
Kyle: Yeah. It’s written in Elvin again, and you notice on these, all the slates combined spell out "BREADCRUMB CRIES."
Goodrich: Oh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It says “BREADCRUMB CRIES,” I think. Again, little rusty, but I’m pretty sure that’s what it says.
Spurrier (as Randy): Hmmm, okay?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): So “BREADCRUMB CRIES,” plus “VOYEUR” and “DUMMY.”
Ali (as Yashee): Well, we were crying back in the other room.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh-oh. Do we do things and then the Gils show up and make fun of us for it?
Kyle: [Chuckles menacingly] I don’t know.
Goodrich: Oh.
[Players chuckle]
Kyle: Erin’s just like-
Kyle (as Erin): They came from the way we came. They came from down in that room where that one Gil was kinda cut up and everything.
Spurrier (as Randy): He was, uh, efisherated.
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, that’s right, Randy. Efisherated. That’s real good.
Spurrier (as Randy): Aww, thanks.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Well, we actually found something interesting in the other room, if you wanna come check it out. Are you guys feeling up to it or-
Kyle (as Erin): I mean, better than getting surprised by these fishy things again.
Spurrier (as Randy): You guys are feeling better?
Kyle (as Erin): I mean, it’s only been like a couple minutes since you left.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, you know, but you guys are tough
Kyle (as Erin): Well, we didn’t think anything would wind up springing up on us like this, and we thought we’d have better … yeah, we’ll go with you.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright.
Kyle (as Erin): See what you found.
[Players snicker]
Goodrich: So we go back and show them the room with the big dome and the water and-
Spurrier: -and the hole and stuff.
Goodrich: -and the sultan-shaped ceiling.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Yeah. ‘Kay.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Here it is. What do you guys make of this?
Kyle: They’re standing in the water that’s built up in this room, and Erin’s looking up at it. And she just goes-
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, I see what your problem is right here. [Players laugh] This – this has gotta be it. I don’t – I mean, we found our direction-
Kyle: And she turns to Boom Queen, and Boom Queen kinda looks at her like-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Ah, well, yeah. It’s gonna be a tough one. Um, have y’all checked out that hole in the ceiling? Maybe that leads over … we can do some controlled blasts or something.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, we haven’t quite gotten up there yet.
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Oh, well-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Are you guys wanting to stay here and fix this hole? I mean-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): I mean, this is – this’d be the reason that we’d be here for, you know.
Spurrier: I was gonna say, it seems like maybe that’s the reason why the place was dried up, up on the surface.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, I mean, you know, it couldn’t hurt to try. If it’s anything else further down, I don’t know if we can do anything about it, but...
Goodrich: Could we grappling hook-
Ali and Goodrich: Grappling hook!
[Players chuckle]
Goodrich: Could we do that up there? Is that-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: [Coughing] Oh jeez.
Kyle (as Erin): Careful there, Raz’ul. You’ll get some of that waterfall water in your mouth, it probably ain’t taste too good, filtered through all the sediments, you know-
Goodrich: Yeah, oh boy.
Kyle (as Erin): -to really be drinkable.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, my bad. I was just – yup. Anyhoo.
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: How far up is it, Kyle? Like, if we were to maybe stand-
Kyle: It’s about thirty feet.
Goodrich: Okay. But if we were to stand on the dome, would it be like fifteen?
Kyle: Fifteen feet.
Ali: Fifteen.
Goodrich: You think you could-
Ali: I could probably toss you up there.
Goodrich: -toss Randy and I up there.
Ali: I’ve got an acrobatics skills. That’s tossing things.
Kyle: Yeah, that would be a strength thing, tossing somebody up.
Ali: Alright. Well, whatever.
Spurrier: And then it would be us to do an acrobatics to see if we do alright?
Ali: Do a couple flips.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Let’s do it.
Spurrier: Okay.
Ali: Alright. Well – I mean, we’d have to get up on the dome in the first place, so…
Kyle: That’s easy. With the metal bracings that are on this dome, it’s fairly easy to get some handholds, footholds.
Ali: Oh, perfect. I’ll climb on up there, then.
Goodrich: Nice. Okay. Aaand we’re up there.
Ali: And I’m gonna toss ya.
Kyle: Alright. Strength check, acrobatics check.
Ali: Alright. [Rolls dice] That is a fourteen plus three.
Goodrich: Alright. [Multiple dice rolls] I got a seventeen plus one.
Spurrier: I got a two plus nine.
[Players scoff.]
Ali: Oh god.
Kyle: Okay. Yashee, you throw both Raz’ul and Randy up into this porthole-
Goodrich: At the same time?
Kyle: At the same time.
Ali: Sweet.
Goodrich: Can we hold hands as we go up?
Spurrier: I mean, you already are.
Goodrich: Put them up like we’re superheroes like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yay!
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah!
Kyle: Raz’ul, you are somehow tossed up a little bit higher than Randy – maybe Randy’s foot was a little slippery from the water –
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No!
Kyle: But you’re still holding hands with Randy. So you get one hand up onto the actual edge of this hole, but then you’re cliffhanger-style holding onto Randy.
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: And you’re-
Goodrich: Strength check?
Kyle: Yeah, you’re gonna need a strength check to be able to pull yourself up.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Groans with exertion]
Spurrier (as Randy): You got this!
Goodrich: Almost got it!
[Dice roll]
Ali (as Yashee): Climb up him! Climb right up him!
Goodrich: Alright. Got a fifteen plus three plus one.
Kyle: Okay. Yeah, you manage to pull yourself up. Like, what you do is you kinda use the momentum of pulling yourself a little bit to swing Randy up.
Spurrier (as Randy): [very deadpan] Wheeee!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [groaning with exertion]
Spurrier: Extreme!
Goodrich: How’s Wimpy. Do I make Wimpy proud? Does he say [in growly voice] “yeah!”
Kyle: Yeah. [Players laugh] Yeah. You look down, and Wimpy’s just cross-armed, nodding.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes.
Goodrich: And I pull myself up, Simba style, land on Randy’s chest.
[Players laugh]
Spurrier: Ha, nice. Rude.
Goodrich: Murderer!
Kyle: Yeah.
Kyle: So you pull yourself up into this room, and Randy, Raz’ul, you’re standing in there, and the first thing you notice is there is a coil of rope near this hole that’s tied off to one of the pieces of furniture that’s in here. But other than that, you notice that it’s a long, curved room; kinda looks like it matches the curve of the room that’s underneath you now. And you can hear water rushing from the very far end, and you notice that there’s just three Gils standing in this room. One is facing the wall that you can hear water rushing around, and the other two are just facing each other on each side of this room. Other items you notice in here: there are different tools and stuff set out on countertops; there’s a chair that looks like it’s meant for pedicures, but for some reason there needs to be – for some reason the wrists need to be tied down-
Goodrich: Right.
Ali: Oh god.
Kyle: Who knows. I don’t know. But yeah, that’s what you see in this room. Looks more or less like a miniature salon, if you want to think about it that way, but deadlier.
Goodrich: Right. And the two Gils, they’re not, like, chatting about their hairstyles or whatever? They’re just-
Kyle: No, no. They’re talking about the new fin style … no.
Goodrich: Oh, but they’re interacting?
Kyle: No, they’re not interacting. “Where’d you get your fins done?”
Ali: “Here. My hands are strapped in.”
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: What is the piece of furniture that the rope’s tied to?
Kyle: It looks like a chest of sorts that has different compartments you can pull out. Imagine like a Craftsman tool chest, different layers and stuff, but not on wheels.
Goodrich: If we were to, like, let it down to get Yashee up, maybe helped?
Kyle: Yeah, you can actually look at – you can see like, oh, this is definitely here for people to be able to climb down and climb up. It’s probably how these Gils got up here.
Goodrich: Oh, sweet.
Spurrier (as Randy): Uh, well, do we want to get Yashee up here? I mean, we got some rope and stuff.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh-
Ali (as Yashee): Yes, please.
Spurrier: And Kyle, what is Zil doing in the midst of all this?
Kyle: Zil is trying to follow you-
Goodrich: Aww!
[Players laugh]
Kyle: -but with one arm-
Spurrier: Oh, right.
Kyle: -is not really able to climb.
Goodrich: He’s just running into the dome over and over like [grunts].
Kyle: Yeah, just kind of one arm scraping up the dome, but isn’t getting anywhere with it.
Ali: Aww, buddy.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Tell him to chill.
Spurrier (as Randy): Zil, you listen to those miner fellers. If they ask you to do something, you be a good boy and do it now, okay?
Kyle (as Zil): [Grunts]
Spurrier (as Randy): Alright. Thank you, Zil. [Players laugh] Alright, you guys have got Zil. You keep an eye on him.
Kyle (as Erin): Alright, thanks.
Spurrier (as Randy): Oh yeah.
Kyle: You hear Boom Queen-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Y’all let me know what you hear up there. Maybe I’ll skitter up there and check it out once you come back.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): ‘Kay.
Goodrich: Can we let the rope down to Yashee then?
Kyle: Yeah. You let the rope down; Yashee, you climb the rope. It’s super easy.
Spurrier: Bam!
Kyle: You three are up in this area. What do?
Goodrich: I guess walk closer to the Gils, right? Maybe – I mean, all the other ones have been unresponsive. So I walk up and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey, Gils. We’re [takes a deep breath] here. Here we are.
Kyle: Yeah, you walk further into this room-
Goodrich: [singing] Here we are now. [Speaking] No, that’s-
[players laugh]
Kyle: So yeah. You walk further into this room, and the Gils are still unresponsive to your approach. But as you walk further in, Raz’ul, you hear a familiar voice behind you, and it sounds like your father’s voice, saying-
Goodrich: Oh jeez.
Kyle (as Daz’ul): Ah, my li’l raspberry.
[players laugh]
Goodrich: What?
Kyle (as Daz’ul): How have you been?
Goodrich: Did we talk about this, Kyle? [Laughter] I don’t say anything back. Can they hear it?
Spurrier: Can we all hear it, or is it in his mind?
Kyle: No, it’s just Raz’ul.
Goodrich: I … I, straight, keep walking.
Kyle: Just don’t acknowledge it?
Goodrich: Yup.
Kyle: Okay. Alright.
Ali (as Yashee): Maybe we should go check with the miners, see if they want to do anything here or what they think.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, see if they might have any ideas as far as what the heck-
Spurrier (as Randy): All the water flowing that we’re hearing, yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s head on back.
Kyle: Cool. So you turn to start walking out, and all of a sudden, you each are struck by a spear from one of these Gils as they just, all of a sudden, emerge to react.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [startled sound]
[Dice roll]
Kyle: And you each take – I’ll just do it all for you – you’ll each take seven damage as these Gils attack.
Goodrich: Ooh!
Spurrier (as Randy): Run away!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Run away! Keep running!
Spurrier (as Randy): Go, go, go!
Kyle: Alright.
Goodrich: Plus, we told Gil we wouldn’t hurt any other Gils, so…
Spurrier: Ehh.
Kyle: That’s a good call, that’s a good call.
Goodrich: Ha, freakin’ Randy.
Kyle: So you run away instead of invoking initiative, and [rolls dice] they’ll each get a – well, hey, they all miss on that one. So you’re just like “ah!” and start running.
Goodrich: Jump through the hole.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Cannonball!
Goodrich: No, Kyle, don’t do it! No, I’m just kidding!
Kyle: Okay. Are you sure you wanna do it? Do you cannonball out?
Goodrich: No. Uh-
Spurrier: We can go down the rope.
Goodrich: Oh yeah, there’s the rope.
Kyle: Yeah, there ya go. Yeah.
Spurrier: Ropes. Slide down the rope.
Ali: I forgot about the rope. I’m just gonna jump down the hole.
Goodrich: Oh.
Kyle: Okay. Are you going to try to – where are you gonna try to land?
Ali: Probably on that dome.
Kyle: Okay.
Goodrich: Let’s just try to swing down the rope like DuckTales.
Ali: Ohhh, you guys have fun with that.
Kyle: She says she’s jumping.
Goodrich: [Sadly] Oh.
Kyle: So … alright. So you two, give me an acrobatics roll real quick, just to make sure, see how well you use this rope.
[Multiple dice rolls]
Spurrier: That is an eighteen plus nine.
Goodrich: And a twelve plus one.
Kyle: Okay. You’re both good.
Goodrich: We DuckTales down the rope.
Kyle: You jump out and-
Ali: I’m all like “woohoo!”
Goodrich: No, we’re like “woo hoo.” You’re not like “woohoo.”
Ali: I jump right down. I’m excited!
Goodrich: Whatever.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yashee, you jump out of this hole after your two compatriots have spun their way down the rope that’s hanging from-
Ali: Halfway down in jumping, I’m like “oh, yeah, the rope.”
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: As you see us, we’re just like,
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What are you doing?
Spurrier (as Randy): Bye.
Kyle: And you land on the dome and your heels hurt a little bit. You take like three points of damage. It’s not that bad but-
Goodrich: Did she crack it at all, maybe?
Kyle: No, it did not crack. I would have said it if it did.
Goodrich: Oh jeez.
Spurrier: Tough. Tough stuff.
Kyle: Mm-hmm. So you’re standing there and you look up, and you just see those three Gils looking down at you, and they’re just blinking one eye at a time – [Goodrich and Spurrier giggle] – which people would call winking, I guess, but-
Ali: I’m gonna take out my bag with the finger in it and just like wave the bag at them.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, that’s right.
Goodrich: Yeah, since we missed our opportunity with Squid.
Kyle: One of them throws its spear at you. [Rolls dice]
Ali: [laughing] Oh god.
Kyle: And it misses.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: And breaks on the glass.
Goodrich: Did it crack then?
Kyle: [indignantly] No!
Spurrier: It’s potent.
Ali: I did have my Thundertap shoes on. That didn’t help? Little surge?
Kyle: You weren’t tapping out a beat when you landed.
Ali: Okay. Well-
Kyle: Yeah, hmm. They’re just standing there, looking down at you. They don’t look mad or happy. They just look – like Gils.
Goodrich: Like Gils.
[Players giggle]
Kyle: And you hear Boom Queen say:
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Hey, y’all find anything interesting up there? What’s up with them?
Ali (as Yashee): They stabbed us.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): It was very uncool.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Also, there’s nothing up there. There’s – we could hear the water, but it looked like some sort of-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Wait. You heard the water? What?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean, we got up there and we heard the water flowing from, you know, the other side. It’s going around, and we heard it flowing past, and it sounds like maybe we just got a leak in the pipe that’s flowing around. So maybe-
Kyle (as Boom Queen): Okay. Well yeah, if I can – I bet if I could get up in that room, maybe I could do a controlled blast of some sorts, maybe knock that wall down, fix – you know, get a little patch, you know.
Kyle: And you hear Erin chime in.
Kyle (as Erin): Well, actually, Boom Queen, that’s a good idea, but man, it’d be much easier to work from the inside of that pipe if it’s possible, but I don’t know if anyone can swim up in water like that. Maybe one of these fishy people, but…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You got a freakin’ Zora.
Kyle (as Erin): Nah – what’s that?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Nope, never mind.
Kyle (as Erin): Alright. Um, anyway, yeah. If we could get up in there and that might be easier overall.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Well, we could probably stop the water magically.
Ali (as Yashee): We could try.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah. I mean, would that help, if the water was temporarily stopped?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, you guys could go up in there and-
Spurrier (as Randy): I don’t know how long we could give you, but some would be better than none, I would think.
Kyle: Erin goes like-
Kyle (as Erin): [tentatively] Yeah, if y’all can do that, that’d be-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Deh, ‘cause the water’s definitely flowing around that room, so it sounds like we just need to do something about that hole. Maybe we should’ve started with that.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’re just exploring!
Spurrier (as Randy): Live and learn, yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We’re bards, not freakin’ spelunkers.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, I mean, that’s why we’re here. I mean-
Spurrier (as Randy): Right, exactly.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): This is really all your fault, why it took so long.
Kyle (as Erin): Yeah, it’s totally my fault.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No, no, I’m just kidding. One, two, three, four!
Kyle (as Erin): Alright.
Spurrier (as Randy): That’s a little rude.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aww.
Kyle: So it sounds like we’re gonna be writing a song.
Ali: That sounds like it.
Goodrich: Let’s write a dam song.
Kyle: Kyle, the dungeon maestro said. [Players laugh] A dam song. I see. [Goodrich imitates rimshot quietly] I hear. Roll the dice.
[Music transitions]
Ali: So are we doing major or minor?
Goodrich: Oh boy. I wanna do what we kinda did that other time, we just flip a coin.
Ali: Flip a coin?
Spurrier: Oh, okay. Yeah, it’s kind of ...
Ali: I’ve got my old coin in here.
Spurrier: -plumbing. Are they happy songs or are they sad songs?
Ali: Alright.
Goodrich: I mean, we could just do major. I dunno. I’m in a major kind of mood.
Spurrier: We’re trying to fix the problem, I suppose.
Ali: To will the water to hold back, please.
Goodrich: Weather’s like nice outside, and spring has finally sprung in Texas.
Ali: Well, let’s just do major then.
[Players laugh]
Spurrier: Alright.
Ali: Alright.
[Multiple dice rolls]
Goodrich: Someone got a wild. I don’t-
Spurrier: That was you.
Goodrich: Was it? Really?
Spurrier: Yeah.
Goodrich: Oh, okay. Here we go. [Rolls dice] Cool. Okay. So C, G, B diminished, and D minor.
Kyle: Sweet.
Spurrier: Not too shabby.
Kyle: [Drawn out] Drrumms.
[Coin flip]
Ali: Uh-oh. That’s a heads.
Goodrich: That’s a heads.
Ali: It’s a heads.
Goodrich: [like a baseball announcer] It’s a heads. [Dice roll] It’s a twenty-six.
Ali: Alright. We got the twenty-six. Rock 10.
Goodrich: We been rocking it out lately.
Spurrier: Seriously, with all this rock.
[Dice roll]
Goodrich: [Whispering] Dice, no!
Ali: What is that? Sixty-seven. Rock 14.
Kyle: Okay. Sweet. Alright. Get to writing.
[Music transitions]
Kyle: Hey everyone. It’s your dungeon maestro Kyle, just joining you again to say thank you for listening, and thanks for, you know, keep hanging out with us and everything. We’re so close! We’re almost back to Strumlotts, or we’re getting to a point where we can go back there. It’s around the corner.
So … but if you want to keep up with us outside of our episodes, be sure to follow us on social media by searching @BombardedCast. If you post about our podcast, be sure to use the hashtag #BardCast as well. If you wanna send us electronic mail, we have BombardedCast@gmail.com,. We do have a PO box as well, which you can address whatever you want to send to BomBARDed, 825 Precinct Line Road, #512, Hurst, Texas 76053. Again, that’s BomBARDed, 825 Precinct Line Road, #512, Hurst, Texas 76053.
So other than that, that’s pretty much all I got for you this time. Fair warning: the – I’ve been listening in on the bards writing their song, and there’s gonna be a good opportunity, parents, for you to teach your children about homonyms, because we use one a lot. It’s – yeah, a lot. It’s the homonym for river barrier blocking thing.
[Sound of a ringing phone]
[Small beep]
Goodrich: [from a phone line] Hey Kyle, it’s Goodrich, from the future. It’s late, I’m editing the episode. [Giggles] It’s actually homophone, not homonym. Uh, yeah. Whoops. So anyways, it’s our bad, and go ahead, Kyle. Bring us home, buddy. Bye. [Long beep.]
Kyle: So, you know, if you wanna take an opportunity, preview the song beforehand, make sure you’re cool with it for them to listen to, by all means, go right ahead. That way, they’re not running around just repeating this word, because … you know how kids are.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to say. Of course, they hope you enjoy it, I hope you enjoy what they’ve written. It’s actually a lot of fun. So let’s get to it.
[Music transitions]
Kyle: Okay. So you begin talking to the miners about being able to magically stop the flow of water. And Raz’ul, as you go to grab your instrument, you notice it begins to flicker, light up – [Goodrich giggles] – glow even. [Goodrich giggles again] And it emits that same familiar magical glow that you’re getting ever so used to.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright.
Ali (as Yashee): So warm.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey guyyys, let’s dam it up!
[Guitar chord, followed by drumbeat and singing)
(verse 1)
Goodrich, Ali and Spurrier: [Singing] Oh, the water flows, give it nowhere else to go, it’s gotta hold, how will it hold?
(Chorus, 2x)
Ali: I said a dam!
Goodrich and Spurrier: [singing] Dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam.
Ali: We’ll make a dam.
Goodrich and Spurrier: [singing] Dam dam dam dam dam dam dam dam.
(verse 2)
Goodrich, Ali, and Spurrier: [Singing] Oh, it starts to slow, the pressure’s getting low, it’s gonna hold.
Goodrich and Spurrier: You know that we’re believers even though we ain’t no beavers. [Continue as in chorus]
Ali: I said a dam, dam dam dam dam dam dam, we’ll make a dam, dam dam dam dam de dam, I said a dam, dam dam dam dam dam dam, we’ll make a dam, dam dam dam dam, I said a dam dam dam de dam, I said a dam dam dam, we’re making the dam. Oh, we’ll make a dam, we’ll make a dam, making the dam!
Kyle: So Raz’ul, you strum out this D minor add 9 chord, and listeners, we’re taken to seeing Symbol, sitting in the bar with Mary and Tony, and he looks around and says-
Kyle (as Symbol): What was that?
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: “I didn’t teach them that.”
Kyle: But no, you begin playing the song together, and magic begins to come out of your instruments and flow around the room. And it intersperses with the water and kinda weaves its way through it. The water slowly begins to stop flowing, and you see your magic basically lifting it and pushing it back into the hole that it’s coming out of. And from there, once it stops flowing, you see your magic just, bam, spread into place and make a magical dam, stopping the water. And at this point, Trish and Erin and Alphonse are all looking at it like-
Kyle (as miners): Well, damn!
Goodrich: Well, damn!
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as miners): I don’t-
Goodrich: Does Zil also say “damn” and he goes [appreciative grunt].
Kyle (as Zil): [grunts]
Goodrich: He jumped in on the chorus [continues grunts]
Kyle (as Zil): [grunts]
[Players laugh]
Kyle: At this point, you hear the slates that the fish were holding in the previous room, those all crash, and you hear a couple of Gils march in. And they stand there, look at you, and they point in the direction that they came from. And Erin looks at you three and she says-
Kyle (as Erin): Uh, not really sure what happens, but I think we could definitely work with what you’ve done here. So, I tell you what. That Squid person’s obviously trying to get your attention, you know, with these fish people, but we’ll take care of this here.
Kyle: And Wimpy actually is getting some things out of his pack, is like-
Kyle (as Wimpy): If there’s one thing my ex Jeff taught me, it’s if someone’s trying to kill you, you gotta kill them first. So…
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Whoa.
Kyle (as Wimpy): That’s how it is.
Spurrier (as Randy): Aw man.
Kyle: And Trish is – Trish chimes in, says-
Kyle (as Trish): Yeah, ‘cause if we don’t take care of them, this is just gonna happen all over again, right?
Ali (as Yashee): I s’pose.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): yeah.
Kyle: So Erin comes over, she’s just saying-
Kyle (as Erin): So we – I mean, we can take care of this here if you’ll take care of … that.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Spurrier (as Randy): We can try.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Goodrich: And I turn to you guys and I say – I look up at, you know, what we did, and I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Huh, should probably add to our business cards – like at the bottom as our little tagline - “Chaos Sauce, they dam right.”
[crickets/Spurrier gives a pity chuckle]
Goodrich: Screw you guys. That was good! That is a good tagline for our cards, alright? “They” – never mind.
[Players chuckle]
Kyle (as Erin): Good one, Raz’ul.
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Erin): So we’re gonna get to work here-
Goodrich: I said all that in character; you guys just looked at me like [Spurrier and Ali giggle] “No, come on, man. We’re workshoppin’
Ali (as Yashee): You know, we’ll talk about it when we get back to school, okay?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [disappointed] Alright.
Kyle (as Erin): Alright. Well, we’ll take care of this. You think y’all should get on?
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, let’s go get that Squid boy.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright.
Goodrich: I take out my pencil and I’m chewing the eraser, like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Aww, I thought that “they dam right” was really good.
Ali: Just cross it off your list. Nope.
Goodrich: Just cross it off the list. Nope.
Kyle: Alright. So are you moving on?
Goodrich: Yes.
Ali: Onward.
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: So you backtrace through several of the rooms that you’ve been in, and each of them has, you know, a small subset of Gils that are pointing the direction you should go.
Ali (as Yashee): This is way easier.
Kyle: Yeah, I guess.
[Players laugh]
Ali (as Yashee): Is this what that "BREADCRUMB” thing meant? Is this a-
Kyle: Yeah, yeah. These are the breadcrumb cries.
Ali: It was the Gils the whole time.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: But you eventually make your way back into the room that had the eviscerated Gil in it, and remember there’s that porthole that you didn’t go up through?
Ali: Mm-hmm.
Goodrich: There’s a lot of things we didn’t do, you have to be more specific.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Through a lot of holes recently.
Kyle: So … but there is a rope hanging from that hole, and the Gils are pointing you up into that direction.
Goodrich: And those ropes weren’t there before?
Kyle: They weren’t there before.
Goodrich: Okay. Uh-
Ali: Do we need to do a climbing check or anything?
Kyle: Nah. It’s rope.
Ali: So just head on up.
Goodrich: Do we want to go up the ropes, period?
Ali: Are they pointing up there?
Kyle: Yep, they’re pointing up that direction.
Ali (as Yashee): We should probably just go.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): It’s time.
Goodrich: Alright. I’m getting pumped up. Magic worked, feeling good.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Excited breath] I’m loose, I’m loose, I’m ready.
Kyle: Alright. So you make your way up through the hole, and you come out through this little hallway as it levels out. And you notice this corridor arcs to the right, and there are Gils lined on both sides of it. On the left side of this corridor, you notice that there’s a passage that just goes off into dark cave, and there’s two archways that are set apart about – probably about like five, ten feet or so. On the right side of this corridor, there are three archways that are about five feet apart, and all the Gils that are lining this are pointing into this arched – the archways to your right.
Goodrich: So they’re like the Rockettes, kind of? [laughs]
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Like they all have their arms on their shoulders?
Kyle: But they’re not pointing with their legs.
Goodrich: Right. Or are they, Kyle?
Kyle: No, they’re not.
Goodrich: Oh.
Ali: Do you mean three archways, like three separate ways to go, or like-
Kyle: It’s like a series of archways. Like you have one, two, three-
Ali: Okay. So one pathway that has three-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Okay.
Ali: -archways.
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Cool.
Kyle: So … and they’re pointing to the archways that are on your right.
Goodrich: Synchronized.
Kyle: Mm-hmm.
Goodrich: Like the Rockettes. The Gilettes. I’m just gonna imagine that they are.
Kyle: You can imagine whatever you want. That’s the whole name of the game-
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: -is imagining things.
Goodrich: I follow. Yes.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You guys gonna follow them, Gils pointing us the way there?
Spurrier (as Randy): [sighing] Oh yeah.
Ali: Let’s keep it going.
Kyle: Okay. So you enter this area, and you see Squid standing near what looks like to be a large pink mound that is resting in a large pool of briny-looking brackish kind of water. Standing between you and them are about six Gils: some of them are wielding spears, some have staves, and a couple of them have these weapons that look like the gopher reach-and-grab sticks, but instead of rubbery material, it’s like sharp teeth.
Goodrich: Right.
Spurrier: Uh-huh.
Kyle: So the Gils are looking mindlessly at you, and Squid notices you walk in.
Goodrich: I nudge Yashee-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [whispering] Get that finger ready.
[Players laugh]
Ali: I pull it out slowly. [imitates cartoon noise]
Kyle: And you hear Squid say-
Kyle (as Squid): Ah, we can finally end this. But let me ask-
Kyle: And Squid’s interrupted at this moment. You hear the voice that you heard earlier, that beckoned Squid away.
Kyle (as other voice): [with low-pitched echo] No, no more questions! They should be in ceremorphosis by now! Failure is not tolerated, and you have failed!
It was a mistake to change you, but there were no other options. Witness the true power of the illithid!
Kyle: And this pink mound that’s floating in this brine rises up and begins to float above the pool, and it looks like a big mound of pink ground meat, or-
Ali (as Yashee): There it is! It’s back! The meat of my dreams.
Goodrich: Oh no! Yashee’s smitten.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Raz’ul, you think back to looking through the anatomy book, and you can tell that this is a large brain.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, it’s a large brain. It’s a large brain!
Spurrier (as Randy): Ugh.
Kyle: So-
Goodrich: What’s Zil doing? What’s he doing.
Kyle (as Zil): [grunts]
Goodrich: Is he freaking out?
Kyle: Zil’s just standing there. He’s still a zombie.
Goodrich: Oh, he’s not like wide-eyed and-
Kyle: No reaction.
Goodrich: He sees the big brain!
Ali: Well, I mean, like, zombies eating brains.
Kyle: Oh.
Ali: Like, starting to drool.
Kyle: I see. I see, yeah.
Goodrich: Still nothing?
Ali: Just, no.
Kyle: There’s a trickle-
Ali: I see and I don’t care.
Kyle: Yeah, there’s a trickle of saliva dripping from I guess what would be a fish lip.
Ali: Oh thank goodness. Okay.
Kyle: So-
Ali: Me and him both. [Goodrich laughs]
Kyle: And you notice as this brain rises up out of the brine, you notice like these large tentacles – it’s just part of the thing.
Goodrich: It’s part of the thing.
Kyle: It looks like, you know, Andross at the end of Star Fox 64, so just picture that. There are no eyeballs.
Goodrich: I’ve been picturing that this whole time, so thank you.
Kyle: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. And so you hear-
Kyle (as other voice): Cera will take care of this.
Kyle: And we’ll see what Cera’s gonna do next time.
[Theme music fades in]
Goodrich: Cera Bellum.
Ali: Ah!
Kyle: Got it! Got it!
Goodrich: Ding ding ding!
Ali: There it is.
[Theme music finishes]