Ep. 11 – Out of the Frying Pan
[Theme song plays]
Kyle: [Deeper voice] Last time on BomBARDed [High pitched] Oh my god, show me what you saw in the stone! Tell me what I wanna know right now or I’m gonna attack you!
Goodrich: But why!
Kyle: [Deeper voice, mockingly] We don’t want to, oh my god. [Normal voice] And then you guys got into a fight.
Goodrich: Pretty much.
[All laugh]
Kyle: But during this fight Randy had a clever idea to sneak his portable hole into battle. Which resulted in Jairah amazingly not noticing it and falling in. At that point Raz’ul had the quick thought to go over and fold that portable hole close and pin it with his unbending needling.
Goodrich: I just really wanted to put a pin in this battle.
Kyle: Yeah, absolutely I understand. But, instead of doing what he wanted this actually caused an intense explosion and then there was nothing, but that’s because they were in a void out of nowhere so; a bodiless entity came to them and was able to coax the magic out of our bards by presenting three pillars of dark matter and asking, can you breathe life? Our bards performed but their magic was not able to meet their request to which the entity responded, “so you can’t, but fortunately I can. I'm excited to create with this power.” This is when the pillars went amorphous blob style and start restructuring themselves into three figures, which mirrored each one of our bards. That whole event ended with these figures' eyes opening. Which, you guys came back and pretty much picked up right at the explosion part which turned into an implosive event and began sucking in the stones and pillars and things nearby. So, the commotion that happened from that event actually caused the temple to start collapsing, which you were able to escape from in style- well two out of three of you escaped in style-
Goodrich: I did it in my own style, Kyle!
[Laughter]
Kyle: Yeah, I guess that’s style. So- but thanks to a feather fall spell by Yashee we were able to get a sweet moment of Randy being able to surf down on a flailing Raz’ul and landing safely at the bottom of the stairs. But, this wasn’t the end of your troubles- which speaking of that, there’s a tower falling in your direction. So-
Goodrich: We’re not out of the woods yet!
Ali: Can I do a check to see if I see like, a little window opening where maybe we can run up and huddle a la like, Aladdin? When he gets transported by Jafar and the tower rolls over them?
Kyle: Yeah I got ya- that is a really cool moment, dang! Um, give me a perception check real quick.
Ali: [Laughing] Okay. [Rolls dice] It is a thirteen plus one?
Kyle: Thirteen plus one? You look up and you see what looks like a really old window that’s pretty tiny? And as this is falling you notice that the structure of the top is starting to collapse in on itself as it’s falling, so that doesn’t look like it’s gonna be a viable route.
Ali: Alright, well-
Kyle: On top of that, debris is starting to be flung in your direction as like, where the base of the temple hit that tower-
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle: It sent debris flying and you can see dust like, billowing in your direction.
Ali: Alright-
Goodrich: Also, Aladdin is a cartoon and this is real life, Ali!
Ali: Hey, hey!
[All laugh]
Ali: [Sarcastic] Yeah, this is real life.
Goodrich: Yeah, so uh-
Ali: Alright, I might be stupid but I’m not that dumb I’m gonna-
Kyle: Yeah!
[All laugh loudly]
Ali: I’m just gonna- gonna get out of there.
Kyle: So, Symbol says-
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay, I think I can get us through this. Just try to follow me the best you can!
Kyle: And he grabs Mitch and is like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Come on, Mitch.
Kyle: And he starts taking off.
Spurrier: Onwards!
Ali: How fast can they run?
Kyle: Uh, this is gonna be a chase scene so the mechanic is gonna work a little bit differently-
Goodrich: Oh, cool!
Kyle: I am going to throw in moments as you’re running from whatever’s happening, and we’ll see what those are. I have a table I've made up which has a number of different random things that could happen in the process of fleeing.
Ali: Cool.
Kyle: So, there are seven opportunities for you to fail. If you get five out of seven fails, you’re gonna fall behind and lose the group.
Goodrich: Oh dang.
Kyle: So- yeah, essentially every time you fail you lose like ten feet-
Spurrier: Mm!
Goodrich: Okay.
Kyle: And like after five, you’re gonna be fifty feet away from the rest of the group. Or uh, you know if you all fail all at the same time you could wind up being separated from just Symbol and Mitch.
Ali: Right.
Kyle: Or you could be separated on your own.
Spurrier: Right, right, right-
Kyle: Um, which [laughing] I don’t know what’s gonna happen if that happens but we’ll have to figure it out.
[Players laughing]
Goodrich: Not so good! Oh boy!
Kyle: So uh, so yeah, just hope that you pass more than uh- hopefully you just pass!
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: So, there are many animals in the animal kingdom that can probably run faster than a dwarf.
Kyle: I can imagine.
Goodrich: [Laughs] Yeah, so Raz’ul’s gonna try transforming into one of those and-
Kyle: Okay-
Goodrich: I’m not gonna say anything to you guys, cause I cut it pretty close last time-
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: [Rolls dice] Uhh..sixty-eight-
Spurrier: So close.
Goodrich: A giant toad.
[All laugh]
Kyle: Alright!
Ali: It’s giant!
Spurrier: Giant-
Ali: Hopping ability-
Kyle: Yeah, I mean you know, what does it say?
Goodrich: A large beast.
Kyle: Large beast, so it’s a large size which means it’s bigger than-
Ali: Bigger than me-
Spurrier: Yeah, it’s bigger than Yashee-
Kyle: Bigger than Yashee-
Goodrich: Yeah, I just say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Groans and voice becomes deeper] And I’m a giant toad.
Spurrier: And Randy looks over and says-
Spurrier (as Randy): Hey there mister toad, can I hop along?
[All laugh]
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice] Hop along, little Randy.
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Okay, Randy’s gonna hop on top of Raz’ul and ride it on out. I think Symbol and Mitch are gonna stick with their feets-
Ali: I’m gonna stick with my feets-
Kyle: You’re gonna stick with your feets? Okay, cool. Symbol has already started booking a trail and you’re trying to keep up with him. He turns down this one alley way and uh, it winds up dumping out into a main road. You find yourselves in the midst of a stampede of jackal-weres.
Ali: [Chuckles] Oh my gosh..
Spurrier: Oh boy..
Goodrich: They’re like bi-peds though, right?
Kyle: Yeah, exac- well some of them are bi-peds, some of them are full on jackals like, you know you see jackals as well running-
Goodrich: Oh!
Kyle: It’s a mixture of humans, jackal-weres and jackals.
Goodrich: [Surprised] Wow! Okay!
Kyle: So- and they’re all fleeing as buildings behind them are collapsing and large chunks of stone are like, flying into buildings and knocking them over and creating a lot of catastrophe. For this I'm gonna go ahead and have Raz’ul and Yashee give me a dexterity check, and the number to beat is twelve. I'm just gonna tell you these.
[Multiple dice rolling]
Goodrich: ..Seven.
Ali: Mine is an eight plus one!
Kyle: Okay and Randy, because of Raz’ul’s roll go ahead and give me a strength check.
Spurrier: ‘Kay. [Rolls dice] Ahh strength, okay that is a seventeen plus nothing.
Kyle: Okay, you’re actually good to go-
Spurrier: Phew!
Kyle: You come out of this alley way to find this stampeding group of jackal-weres, humans and jackals. Yashee and Raz’ul you’re completely blindsided by this, Yashee you’re knocked over and you’re trampled a little bit by this group and you take six damage-
Ali: Oh no!
Kyle: As these feet kind of stomp into you. Raz’ul, you and your big toad body are knocked over-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice, pained grunting]
Kyle: Randy, you’re holding on for dear life-
Spurrier (as Randy): [Yells]
Kyle: And luckily all the jackals seem to be stampeding over Raz’ul and you don’t get stampeded on at all.
Spurrier: Mufasa!
[All laugh]
Kyle: Raz’ul you’re gonna take four damage as these jackals climb up over your body. The stampede recedes a little bit and you’re able to get back on your feet and continue running. Buildings are collapsing near you and around you, Symbol’s kind of looking back at you guys, he’s like-
Kyle (as Symbol): You’re gonna have to keep up if you wanna keep doing this, like come on guys we gotta get out of here!
Kyle: So that’s a fail for Yashee, and a fail for Raz’ul, which Randy you’re on top so unfortunately that puts you in the same area. Okay, you’re able to get back on your feet and continue running through the city and as you’re running- [rolls dice] let's look here and see what we got. So, you’re running and a building nearby collapses and it causes a sink hole in the area that you’re walking on. I need Yashee and Raz’ul to give me a dexterity save. [Multiple dice rolling, laughter] Let’s see if you can manage those sinking sands.
Goodrich: I’ll try!
Kyle: There we go!
Goodrich: There it is! Okay I got a sixteen plus one, seventeen.
Kyle: Okay, you’re good to go.
Ali: Okay, and I have an advantage of dex saving throws-
Kyle: Okay-
Ali: So, my first one was a five and my second one was an eight plus four so twelve.
Kyle: Awesome. Raz’ul you’re uh, you’re hopping along and everything and the sand starts to shift from underneath you but you’re like “nope!” and you’re able-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice] Nope, nope, nope!
Kyle: -to make your way out of it, Randy still on your back. Yashee you uh, the sand kind of sweeps out from under your feet, you’re caught off guard a little bit, but you plant your hand down and you’re able to like pick yourself back up and just keep moving at the same speed. So you got past that one fairly well.
Ali: Sweet.
Kyle: You continue through the city following Symbol. He makes a left, then a right and you’re able to avoid any kind of impedance for the time being. Let’s see what happens next! [Rolls dice] so he’s taking you down one of these main roads and after a little bit you feel like you’re pretty clear but then, out of this alleyway in front of you a cart gets rushed out from a person pushing it as they’re running away from something. Everybody give me a dexterity check.
Goodrich: I have plenty of experience playing frogger.
Kyle: Yeah, there you go.
Goodrich: Let’s see here..
Kyle: DC is a twelve.
Ali: Twelve plus one, thirteen.
Kyle: Good!
Goodrich: I got a five plus one soo..
Kyle: Okay, uh so Yashee you’re leading the way and you just like one arm slide over this guy’s cart and just continue on. Raz’ul you plow right into it and you’re caught off-guard-
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Randy, go ahead and give me a strength check.
Spurrier: [Nervous] Okay, oh boy.. [rolls dice] uh, that’s a seven.
Kyle: Okay so, Raz’ul’s big toad body like, can’t seem to make the jump like, sand slips out from under its toady feet, just goes right head first into this cart and you get flung off the front of Raz’ul as you get flown and you’re like- actually roll me an acrobatics check, see how well you fair falling off the top of Raz’ul.
Spurrier: [Sighs] Oh boy.. [rolls dice] that is a twelve plus nine, twenty-one.
Kyle: Yeah, you definitely maneuver your way-
Spurrier: Phew!
Kyle: -as you’re flown from the top you get over the thing and you’re like, “ah!” falling forward and-
Ali: Can I um, maybe try to catch him like a football?
[Someone laughs]
Kyle: Give me a dexterity check-
Ali: I am already good at football so-
Kyle: Yeah- actually no, give me an athletics check.
Ali: Oh sweet, well that’s even better. [Pauses] That’s going to be a thirteen plus six-
Kyle: Yeah, you do like a front flip and you sprawl your whole body out like, you know like a pancake and you can see like, Yashee-
Spurrier: Like an actual acrobat-
Kyle: She’s looking over her shoulder at you and she’s got her arms out and you’re just like, “home.”
Spurrier: I’m here!
[Players laughing]
Spurrier: It's me, Randy!
Kyle: And Randy falls right into your grasp-
Ali: Aw!
Kyle: As you keep running along with him, you tuck him down to your side like a football with your hand like over his face.
Ali (as Yashee): We’re gonna make it little buddy!
Spurrier (as Randy): Thanks!
Ali (as Yashee): You just hang on!
Goodrich: Meanwhile I’m back there like [screams in a deeper voice].
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Okay, alright so Raz’ul you’re dragging a little bit behind. You have to shake your face off and look back like, “oh no!” and you can see like buildings just collapsing-
Goodrich: [Scared] Woof..
Kyle: Inwards on themselves.
Ali: How are Symbol and um..
Kyle: Mitch doing?
Ali: Mitch doing?
Kyle: They’re doing good.
Ali: [Chuckles] Oh.
Goodrich: I imagine this is kind of like the end of Star Fox when you’re following-
Kyle: Yeah, they will end up being in front of all the stuff that winds up in your way so uh-
Ali: Naturally of course!
Goodrich: Good for them [laughs].
Kyle: Uh, so next thing that happens. [Pauses] Well, nothings gonna happen for that one. You continue running on and you hear the sounds of buildings you know, like in the distance falling down. You can hear the shouts of crowds as people are fleeing, you know, people are trying to get their affects together as they’re running out of these dilapidated ruins. [Rolls dice] You hear the sound of chaos going on as things are collapsing around you-
Goodrich: It’s a little saucy.
Ali: Exactly how we like it.
Spurrier: Yeah.
Kyle: There’s a good stretch where you don’t have anything impede your movement. In this time, I'm gonna say nothing really happens. You see people running along with you, going different ways, you cut through a couple different ways because buildings have collapsed blocking the path that you’re going.
Goodrich: Can I catch up to them since I have a twenty-foot leap?
Kyle: Yes, I’ll say you can make a catch up in these uh, since like- I rolled like three different things and like nothing happens on any of them.
Goodrich: Cause you know, Raz’ul gets knocked down..he gets back up again-
[All chuckle]
Ali: Yeah!
Kyle: And you’re never gonna-
Goodrich: [Sings in a silly voice] And you’re never gonna keep me down!
Kyle: [Chuckles] Alright so you’re able to catch up, I'll knock off one of the fails here. Um, and-
Goodrich: Thanks, Kyle!
Kyle: Yeah, you’re welcome, I'm benevolent. Just remember it okay?
[Players chuckle]
Goodrich: ‘Kay.
Kyle: Um, on this next one you keep running through this collapsing city [pauses] ooh, you hear the loud crash of buildings colliding and all the sudden you hear a whistling coming from above you. You look back and you see a boulder flying overhead. It winds up flying past you and it ends up in the ground in front of you and creates a hole in the ground.
Goodrich: I gotta jump over a hole!?
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Heck yeah! [Hums the Indian Jones theme]
Kyle: Everybody give me a dexterity check, DC ten to beat.
Goodrich: [Continues humming the theme, is joined by Spurrier] Finally!
Spurrier: Since I’m being held-
Kyle: You don’t have to make anything-
Spurrier: Cool!
Kyle: Sorry, Randy you don’t have to make this one.
Spurrier: Just wanted to be sure.
Ali: I got a seventeen plus one!
Kyle: Sweet!
Goodrich: Sixteen plus one!
Kyle: Yashee, you hurdle jump this one just like when you were striding over the halfling and dwarf earlier and Raz’ul, being a toad, hoppings your game man-
Goodrich: Naturally-
Kyle: You got this on lockdown.
Goodrich: All day.
Kyle: So, you’re following Symbol and he through an alleyway then cuts back into a main road and as you’re running you notice somebody from a second story window and it looks like they’re just dumping out a bucket of refuse? Into the street?
Spurrier: [Laughs] Why!?
Kyle: Um, so go head-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice] Don’t worry about that shit!
[All laugh]
Kyle: So yeah, they dump out refuse in front of you so go ahead and give me a dexterity check, got a ten to beat.
Ali: I got a fourteen plus one!
Goodrich: [Sighs] I got a three plus one.
Kyle: Okay uh, [laughs] Yashee you’re able to make your way- you like make your way around this just in time so you don’t wind up slipping in it but unfortunately the toad slips-
Goodrich: Ugh..
Kyle: Slippy?
Ali: Slips-
[All laugh]
Ali: Slippy, nooooooo!
All: Nooooooooo!
[All laugh]
Kyle: You’re hopping along and you hop right into this mess and you skitter and slid and kind of roll and you get a bunch of like, gook on you-
Goodrich: [Disgusted] Ugh..
Kyle: And everything-
Goodrich: This is the second time as an animal-
Kyle: Yeah-
Goodrich: I’ve had poop on me.
Kyle: It’s okay.
Ali: First time was your own doing.
[All agreeing and laughing]
Kyle: It was your own doing. [Mumbling] So that’s gonna be another failer. [Normal voice] So you get back up and you’re like uh, skittering to get back to your feet under you and start hopping along to get your way out of here. So the next event that comes up, [rolls dice] you’re making your way down a road and then a building winds up collapsing from your left as another large tower falls into it. The debris that falls makes the way in front of you inaccessible, but there is an old staircase nearby still standing that can be used to jump to the other side. I need everybody to give me a dexterity check, you gotta beat a twelve. Well not everybody sorry, Randy you’re being carried-
Spurrier: No, I'm just assuming, yeah-
Goodrich: I got an eleven plus one, so I meet so I beat right!?
Kyle: Yup-
Ali & Spurrier: [Cheer]
Kyle: You meet so you beat-
Ali: I got a ninteen plus one.
Kyle: Okay you both manage your way yup the staircase. Yashee, you’re leading the way so like you jump down on the other side of his pile of debris and you’re able to like slide down the little bit of rubble and sand that’s collided together.
Ali: Nice.
Goodrich: [Singing] Yashee, leading the way!
Kyle: Raz’ul, you are meeting this as a giant toad, getting up a stairway made for medium sized people. You get to the top and jump off just as the stairs collapse from underneath you.
Goodrich: Heck Yeah.
Kyle: But you clear to the other side and you land on your feet and keep hopping along-
Goodrich: Keep hopping along, yeah.
Kyle: Let’s see, one more. [Rolls dice] Alright, you wind up taking another turn following Symbol and it goes into this back alleyway, you see Symbol and Mitch they’re humping- they're- humping..
[All laugh loudly throughout]
Goodrich: Like, what are you guys doing!?
Kyle: There’s no time for this! There’s no time for this!
[Beep]
Kyle: So, you turn down this alleyway and you see Symbol and Mitch HOPPING over these barrels that are blocking the way and you’re trying to make your way down there. So, everybody give me another dexterity check to see if you can make it through this maze of barrels.
Goodrich: Are you talking about a dexterity check to HOP Kyle?
Kyle: Yeah, dude.
Ali: I got an eleven plus one.
Goodrich: [Laughs] I got a four plus one.
Kyle: Oh man, Yashee-
Goodrich: I don’t know how to use this this toad body, it’s so hard!
Kyle: [Chuckles] It’s so new and I wasn’t expecting it to be what it is.
Goodrich: Yeah!
Kyle: Yashee, you meet so you’re able to just barely make your way over, and it’s harder with only one arm considering you’re still carrying Randy. Unfortunately, you can hear the clatter of barrels getting knocked over behind you. You look back for a second and you see this toad just like, clumsily trying to get its way over these barrels but it keeps like- like he’ll put his foot on top of one and it’ll slip out from under him and he’ll fall and everything so unfortunately Raz’ul you’re losing another one there.
Goodrich: I’m like that big ATST on Endor.
Kyle: Yeah.
Goodrich: Like, “Oh jeez!”
Kyle: Yeah, that’s exactly what it looks like! You're just like, “ah jeez!” um, so Raz’ul you are twenty feet behind Randy and Yashee and Randy you are trailing twenty feet behind Symbol.
Goodrich: I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice] Guys, wait for me!
Kyle: [Chuckles] So you uh, you make your way out of this alley and you find yourself in one of the main roads. It's actually a little bit more recognizable, it looks like the main road you took into the temple. As you exit the alleyway you look to your right. You see another stampede of people and there is a large circular tower that is rolling behind them. This thing keeps rolling so everybody give me a dexterity check real quick!
Goodrich: Here comes your Aladdin moment.
Ali: Is this- is this it?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Ali: Well I got a one plus one.
Kyle: On dexterity?
Ali: [Chuckles] Yeah.
Kyle: Oh god, okay.
Goodrich: Uh, eight plus one. Do I need to do strength or-
Kyle: Yeah, you’ll need to do a strength on this one Randy. Go ahead and give me that to see if you can hold onto Yashee’s arm.
Spurrier: Uh, that’s an eight plus nothing.
Kyle: No, you-
[Players laugh]
Kyle: Yashee is just trampled over and you’re sent flying out of her hands and you’re gonna get trample as well.
Spurrier (as Randy) Ahh!
Kyle: And Raz’ul you’re knocked over as well, there’s this one jackal-were and he’s pushing a large cart and he just runs right into you and knocks you over on your side and he rolls it up and over you somehow.
Goodrich: Ow.
Kyle: He’s really desperate to get out of there. Uh, lemme roll [rolls dice] you all take, eight damage.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice, grunts in pain]
Kyle: And Raz’ul, glad I gave you that one.
Goodrich: Yeah for real! Thank you, Kyle!
Kyle: Okay, so the crowd is kind of past you and you’re getting up and this large tower’s still rolling towards you. What’re you gonna do?
Ali: Um, I want to look at the tower rolling towards us and again see if there’s a place where we could duck in Aladdin style.
Kyle: There is no place-
Ali: No place-
Kyle: -where you could duck in, this is a solid tower. Never hurts to ask, maybe we’ll get it eventually.
Ali: Is the tower taking up the full width of the road?
Kyle: It looks about like it-
Ali: Like are there buildings on the side-
Kyle: Yeah-
Ali: Or could we get around it?
Kyle: There’s buildings on the sides but it’s hitting the buildings on the side and it’s tearing away at them as it’s rolling along.
Goodrich: If only we had that portable hole! [Laughs]
Spurrier: I was about to- [sighs] Yeah..
Kyle: That would have worked, that would have definitely worked here.
Ali: Where is Symbol right now?
Kyle: Symbol has taken a left and he has like worked his way to the back of the pack of jackal-weres and he’s like yelling at you guys like-
Kyle (as Symbol): [Yelling] Hey seriously, you need to keep up! If you can’t keep up, you’re probably gonna die!
Goodrich: [Chuckles] Oh really? That's the kind of quality education we’re getting from Splash right there.
Ali: I kind of want to try like- How big is the tower? How tall up is it?
Kyle: The tower? Uh, from where you’re standing, on its side is probably about like twenty feet tall.
Ali: Hmm..
Kyle: You wanna see if you can hop on it and roll it-
Ali: I wanna try to like log roll it, yeah.
Kyle: Yeah.
Ali: Can we hang on to Raz’ul and have him hop us up there and try to..bedledledl twinkle toes it?
Kyle: If that’s what you want to do, by all means!
Goodrich: [Nervous] Okay! Do you want to do it?
Ali: [Nervous] It’s- it’s up to you!
Goodrich: Yup!
Spurrier: I mean, we don’t have a lot of other options.
Kyle: Okay-
Goodrich: Uh, I've been rolling super great but let’s try it! Can I uh, wall jump? Would you count that as twenty feet if I jump off the side of a building- you know, like a wall jump.
Kyle: Yeah-
Goodrich: Like in Mario-
Kyle: Let’s do it.
Ali: So, I’m gonna yell to Raz’ul-
Ali (as Yashee): You think you can hop up there, bud?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Deep voice, nervous] Uh, Yeah? I think so? Maybe if I go off the side of a building, I can get up there.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright, well it’s worth a shot!
Ali: So, I grab Randy and grab onto Raz’ul.
Kyle: Okay, so you grab Randy and grab onto Raz’ul. Go ahead and give me a strength check, Yashee.
Ali: [Rolls dice] Um, that is nine plus three.
Kyle: Okay, that’ll be good.
Goodrich: So now do I need to do the-
Kyle: Yeah, go ahead and give me uh, I guess it’d be like athletics for the toad?
Goodrich: Alright.
Kyle: Parkouring is athletics and acrobatics.
Spurrier: And you’re holding two different people so more about being ripped-
Goodrich: Being ripped, yeah.
Ali: Can I send a bardic inspiration die his way?
Goodrich: [Cheers]
Kyle: [Excited] Yeah, absolutely!
Spurrier: I don’t know if we were caught up in the action that we could do that so-
Kyle: That’s fine, whip out a little beat though.
Ali: So- okay, can I get Randy’s help on inspiring Raz’ul to do this?
Kyle: Yes, you can go ahead and do that and, I'm not gonna do this every time but I'll say for this time since you’re performing it together, we’ll bump it up to a d8.
Goodrich: Hurray!
Spurrier: Should we both expend an inspiration dice though?
Kyle: Yes.
Spurrier: Okay, cool.
Ali: Alright, so before I hop up on Raz’ul I'm gonna turn to Randy and say-
Ali (as Yashee): Hey, you know I think he may need a little bit of our help this time to make this jump happen. You wanna help me out?
Spurrier (as Randy): I think you’re right.
Ali (as Yashee): We need to uh, we need to inspire him.
Spurrier (as Randy): Let’s do it.
[Soft piano melody begins and drums follow soon after]
Ali: [Singing] I believe you can fly, I believe you can jump that high. I know you’re gonna save our lives today, eating flies along the way. Oh, I believe you can fly!
[Music ends, Goodrich chuckles]
Kyle: Alright, so Raz’ul go ahead and give me that uh, give me that check-
Goodrich: [Nervously] Okay..
Kyle: Don’t forget to add your dice-
Ali: Oh boy!
Goodrich: And what am I needing to beat?
Kyle: You need to beat a sixteen.
Goodrich: Sixteen!?
Spurrier: That’s why you got a d8-
Goodrich: That’s so many! Ugh!
Kyle: Harder of a maneuver than the other things.
Goodrich: That’s true.
Spurrier: You are carrying all of us.
Kyle: That’s true.
[Dice rolls, all players cheer loudly]
Goodrich: Nat Twent! [Sings excitedly while the whole band plays] This is my twent song, my natural twent song it’s what I play when I roll them twents! You'll never know Kyle, just went I roll them so I will play my twent song for you!
[Music ends, angelic chorus sings “Oh yeaah!”]
Kyle: What a perfect time for this to happen! You bounce off the side of the building and you jump up to the top of this rolling tower and you get up top. Everybody is up there and you’re spinning your legs as fast as you can to keep up with this thing rolling.
Ali: Ninja Warrior!
Goodrich: Ninja Warrior style!
Kyle: I have a quick question Randy and Yashee, are you just gonna stay on top of him as he rolls?
Goodrich: You see me rollin’
[All burst into laughter]
Spurrier: I’m not gonna be hatin’
Goodrich: [Laughing] You’re gonna be ridin’ dirty-
Spurrier: Gonna be ridin’ dirty, it’s fine.
Goodrich: You’re gonna be ridin’ really dirty after what got dumped on me.
Ali: I mean, I'm fine to just hang on for dear life and hope for the best?
Spurrier: Yeah, same here.
Kyle: Alright, so the tower is rolling down this main road and you can see like the edge of town from the vantage point that you’re at; and you notice that this road that you’re on kind of narrows and like, you’re rolling to the edge and you notice that this tower might not clear the last two buildings? That are at the end of the town. And the tower just hits these two buildings that are at the end of this road way leading to a downward hill and the tower just kind of collapses underneath you as it hits these two buildings and the stones get pushed forward. You all, still riding on top of Raz’ul, you wind up finding yourself on top of a large, flat slab and Raz’ul you’re still able to manage- you're like kind of freaking out a little bit but it’s big enough for you to still stand on, and this slab hits the downhill angle and starts to slide and you’re like- “whoa, whoa!” and I need you to give me a dexterity check. Just you Raz’ul.
Goodrich: [Sighs]
Kyle: You’re the only one.
Goodrich: I already used my- [chuckles] I already used my inspiration dice.
Ali: It was a really roll important roll.
Goodrich: The other one was a really important roll!
Ali: No I’m saying that one was- that one was! I’m saying that one was really important. You need to-
[Dice rolls, everyone cheers loudly again]
Kyle: I can’t believe it!
[Angelic chorus of “Oh yeaah!” plays]
Goodrich: Natural twent!
Kyle: So, you land on this slab and it sinks into the ground and starts skirting across the top of the downhill angle. Sand is skittering up past you as you’re sliding down full speed on this big slab of stone, basically sand surfing down this hill.
Goodrich: Right, yeah.
Kyle: And you actually like blow past Symbol and Mitch as they’re sliding on their backs, and they look at you like-
All: Whoa!
Kyle: And you wind up like skittering to the bottom and it slides to the side and just comes to a stop.
Goodrich: Totally ate it in the temple jump, made up for it in a big way!
Kyle: Yup! So, you’ve made it to the edge of town and you’re exhausted, panting and sweating.
Goodrich: And croaking.
Kyle: Yeah absolutely, and you turn to look at this city that you just escaped and you can see the last few towers that are at the top of the hill, that are in your vision, you can see them starting to collapse. Just like, the dust cloud that is emitting from this ruin is just massive and almost like- not blacks out the sky but it definitely makes it like a big shadow over you. Jackals are still running and fleeing for their life and they’re just running out into random directions out into the desert. As they’re fleeing in all directions trying to escape the catastrophe, I need everybody to give me a perception check.
Ali: Of course.
Kyle: And that is everybody, nobody’s left out of this one.
Spurrier: Oh, okay!
[Dice rolls]
Goodrich: That is a two plus three, five.
Kyle: Can’t get them every time.
Spurrier: That’s a seventeen plus three, twenty.
Kyle: Cool.
Ali: Mine is an eight plus one, nine.
Kyle: Alright, okay Randy you’re standing with the rest of the group, you’re watching this and you hear a horse whinnying and you hear the galloping of a horse, and you hear the creaking of carriage wheels going. You turn to look and you see Symbol’s carriage is running unmanned towards you and it’s just at full sprint. It's running in your direction.
Spurrier: Oh!
Goodrich: Can this all be happening like Yashee and I high-five like, that was awesome! That was so sick, dude!
Kyle: Yes!
Ali (as Yashee): I thought we’d be dead for sure!
Kyle: While Yashee and Raz’ul high five each other for what just happened- does that mean you transformed out?
Goodrich: Uh..yes-
Ali: [Laughs] I’m just slapping his toad hands like, ugh!
Goodrich: Like, oh gross you’re covered in poo!
[All laugh]
Ali: Well we all are at this point.
Goodrich: [Laughs] Yeah! I’ll say as I got to the bottom of the hill I jumped off while you guys you know, kind of slid off my back and I transformed in mid-air, landed on my feet, and I'm gonna roll for it- [rolls dice] aw man you know that’s an eight, so I did pretty good!
[All laugh]
Kyle: You rolled- I guess you rolled for a dexterity?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: What’s better, acrobatics or athletics?
Goodrich Uh, athletics so eight plus three, eleven.
Kyle: Yeah, you jump off and you- you jump off after you morph? Or morph in mid-air?
Goodrich: Yeah, morph in mid-air of course.
Kyle: Okay yeah of course, why wouldn’t you do that? So yeah, you’re jumping off and you morph in mid-air and you wind up being in a jump man pose-
Goodrich: Yeah [laughs].
Kyle: But then your feet come down hard and you slide a little bit and you’re able to maintain your footing underneath you.
Ali: Phew!
Kyle: And you turn around and look at Yashee-
Goodrich: Heart beating- let's do it again!
Kyle: Yashee and Raz’ul, they’re having their celebratory moment and Symbol and Mitch are kind of just like you know, doubling over and are just like, [panting heavily] and uh Randy, you notice that carriage bolting right towards you guys. It does not look like it’s slowing down.
Spurrier: Oh.
Spurrier (as Randy): Hey guys take a look; our carriage is on the move.
Kyle: And Symbol’s just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Uh, somebody at least stop it or try to!
Goodrich: I whisper to Randy-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I don’t know why Symbol doesn’t want to give it a shot.
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: Um, well I have speak with animals so I could try to calm the horses down a bit.
Kyle: Mkay.
Goodrich: I look at the horses- I guess I call out to them cause they’re like- and I say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Yelling/singing, while playing guitar quickly] Talk to me like horses do, please slow down! Walk with me, don’t run, like horses do!
[Music stops]
Kyle: Alright, so you’re saying this- give me a persuade roll and-
Goodrich: [Rolls dice] Seventeen! Plus, three.
Kyle: Plus, three? Okay yeah, you get an un-natural twenty and uh, the horse kind of like comes to a [something] and it stops and it says-
Kyle (as Horse): [With a deeper voice and western drawl] Oh alright, if you say so-
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Horse): If you say it’s alright.
Goodrich: Alright Mister Ed.
Kyle (as Horse): I’ll give it a halt real quick.
Kyle: And he comes to a halt and slides in the sand and comes to a stop you know, just shy of your location.
Goodrich: So, can I shrug and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): whoa hey [shushes] what’s going on?
Kyle (as Horse): Just all that noise going on over there got me spooked. So uh, you know just uh trying to get away from all the havoc, most people try to take me and the cart. I know Symbol wants to keep his cart.
Spurrier: And so, while this is happening are they speaking to each other in neighs?
[All laugh]
Kyle: Yeah! Like, [neighs and whinnies] Raz’ul is doing like a combination of like neighs and [blows raspberry] and stuff like that. So, it sounds like he’s talking like a horse and the horse is talking back to him.
Spurrier: Okay, cool.
Kyle: And you’re just watching this conversation go on.
Kyle (as Horse): Okay, whenever ya’ll are ready I guess uh, good ol’-I think his name is Mitch, it’s hard to tell sometimes the way you people talk.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I know, they’re a bunch of whack-a-doos.
Kyle (as Horse): Hey man I really like you, you’re pretty cool.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You know what? You’re alright too man.
Kyle (as Horse): Thanks!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What’s your name?
Kyle: (as Horse): Uh, my names Flotsam.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Like Flotsam and Jetsam?
Kyle (as Horse): Man, how’d you know my brother!?
[All laugh]
Goodrich: Okay!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Okay, hey Flotsam. Nice to meet you and I’ll see you around sometimes-
Kyle (as Horse): Hey man, you can chat with me any time. We'll have- just bring some oats.
Goodrich: I have a water skin; can I give him some water?
Kyle: Yeah, if you wanna give him some water.
Goodrich: And uh-
Kyle: You notice that there’s a feed bag where the driver would sit.
Goodrich: Okay! So, I grab the feed bag and some water and say-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Here you go dude, just take a chill pill- just take it easy for a little bit, take it eeeaasy.
Kyle: So, he gets- he gets his mouth and everything and all set up and he’s like-
Kyle: (as Horse): [Mumbling like he has food in his mouth]
Goodrich: I turn back around to you guys and I'm like-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I think we’re good, he just got a little spooked.
Kyle: And Symbol’s just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Well, I mean that makes sense. He is just a horse.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Hey! Hey! He’s not just a-
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s probably what he eats.
Goodrich: He- [Starts laughing] Shut up..
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay fine Raz’ul I’m sorry. I understand maybe you’re more akin to animals, being from the woods and what not.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): His names Flotsam and he’s a great, great guy.
Kyle: Mitch interjects and he says-
Kyle (as Mitch): Well, his name is actually Duncan so uh, you know.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I'm the guy that just talked to the horse and he said his names Flotsam. I would maybe start calling him Flotsam.
Kyle (as Mitch): Oh..Okay, I'll consider it. Never really thought about it, I guess.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): If you want him to show you the meaning of haste, I would probably call him by his proper name.
Kyle (as Mitch): He usually does a pretty good job with the haste but uh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You thought you saw haste.
Kyle (as Mitch): I appreciate you at least getting him set up with some water and some oats. Pardon me Symbol, I'm going to check on the carriage to see if it’s all up to snuff for us to continue onto Basom. And uh, I'll guess I'll be sure you let you know when I use the bathroom next time! [Laughs]
Kyle: And he kind of just like nudges him and Symbol’s like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Ha, ha! [sternly] Yeah, you should.
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: The classic, ha ha ha! [sternly] seriously.
Kyle: Like, don’t do that again. Mitch goes over and he starts getting the carriage- like double checking everything. Making sure the axels on the carriage are working alright.
Goodrich: We didn’t break a wagon wheel? We didn’t have to ford the river?
Kyle: You didn’t have to ford the river, you didn’t break a wagon wheel, there’s not a river anyway. So, Symbol like, turns to you guys and he’s just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): That was wild! That really crazy, that is a good tale! Granted, you could have been more inquisitive to the nature of these people, I mean-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah I mean, we were dealing with a lot back then. Quite frankly-
Kyle (as Symbol): Back then? It was like thirty minutes ago, dude..
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It doesn’t- It feels like way longer-
Ali (as Yashee): It does feel longer.
Spurrier (as Randy): Yeah.
Kyle (as Symbol): I understand, I can understand that.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No, you’re good.
Kyle (as Symbol): So um, I will say that this is a good tale. People should hear about this I mean, mainly to probably avoid these ruins, doubted that anything would be able to inhabit them again thanks to us, I guess. But uh, it behooves you to write a song about this tale and try to spread it around because something like this shouldn’t not be lost. Actually why don’t you go ahead and get cracking on that and I'm gonna help Mitch real quick. Bring me what you got.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Alright, sounds good!
[Electronic music plays]
Spurrier: [Sings] Chord dice tiime-
Kyle: We’re gonna move on to our chord dice time, let’s do it!
Spurrier: Fire in the hole!
[Multiple dice hitting the surface]
Goodrich: Oh boy..
Spurrier: So far so good.
Goodrich: So far so good.
Spurrier: Oh boy, alright.
Goodrich: [Sighs] Okay well, it’s gonna be kind of a sad song. D minor, D minor, B diminished and F. It was kind of a crazy time-
Spurrier: And C.
Goodrich: And C, so- okay well-
Spurrier: Drums!
Kyle: Yup, let’s do the drums.
Ali: Okay [pauses] coin toss is heads so it’s gonna be from the first bank, and the pattern is- [pauses] forty-four, which gives us rock twenty-four.
Goodrich: Yup.
Ali: And now the drum kit.
Goodrich: Considering all the stones and rocks we just damaged-
Spurrier: Yeah-
Ali: Okay, eighty-five.
Spurrier & Goodrich: [Singing] Eighty-five..
Ali: Which is, techno eight.
Kyle: Okay.
Ali: Alrighty.
Kyle: Alright, get to writing!
[Goodrich whines]
Kyle: Listeners, I'll talk to you in a second.
[Music transitions]
Kyle: Hey everyone it’s your dungeon maestro Kyle here just wanted to say thank you again for listening and for joining us like you do. If you want to follow us on social media go over to @bomBARDedcast on any platforms- Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Just search us there and if you want to share our adventures don’t forget to use the hashtag #bardcast. If you’re listening through apple podcast be sure to rate, review and subscribe, that’s gonna help us get a little bit of visibility and we super appreciate it.
Alright so let’s talk about BomBARded original music real quick, in March we’re going to be releasing the first volume of Chaos Sauce’s full band tunes. That'll be everything up through this episode minus what’s in episode six, which that’s going to be going on another thing with all the other odds and ends like the song of rest but- other than that in April we’re going to be releasing the OST music which we’re going through everything that Spurrier composed and really select the things that we like and put that out on the BomBARDed bandcamp, which you’ll be able to find both of those on the BomBARDed bandcamp whenever we post them.
Other than that, we have our patreon that we’re planning. We already have some ideas but we’d love to hear from all of you about what you’d think you’d like to see on a BomBARDed patreon, and you know if you have something go ahead and send it on over.
Other than that, I don’t really have any other updates so let’s get back to the episode and see what happens!
[Music transitions]
Ali (as Yashee): Symbol, before you go how about this?
Kyle: Symbol turns around and he just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Certainly, you could give it a little more time-
Kyle: And before he finishes his sentence, you notice that sand begins to lift nearby taking the shape of a large orb. There are a few flashes of light inside then you see a figure just flash inside of it. The commotion stops and the sand falls to the ground revealing a tall man wearing brown robes and holding two packages. He looks around then looks at the packages and looks at you four and says-
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): I’ve got a package for Randy Greentrees and Uh..Yasha..rock Bor-din?
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, that’s me!
[Someone laughs]
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): That’s you? Okay uh-
Kyle: And he looks around and like, looks at the ruins and says-
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): Holy Altonia[?], what happened here?
Goodrich: (as Raz’ul): Uh, don’t worry about it.
Kyle: (as Delivery Wizard): [Hesitantly] Oh..kay, well if I can have the tracking stones that Emma gave you you can have your packages.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, you’re the delivery wizard.
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): Yeah.
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, great!
Spurrier (as Randy): [Singing] Awesome!
Kyle: Right so, you have the tracking stones yes?
Ali (as Yashee): Yes, hmm..
Kyle: Okay.
Spurrier (as Randy): Here you go!
Kyle: He takes those from you and he says-
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): Alright, here’s your packages uh [coughs]-
Kyle: And he coughs because of all the sand and dust in the air.
Goodrich: [Laughs] Naturally.
Kyle: And uh, he’s like-
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): I guess I'll be off to my next person to deliver to.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): What was your name? Again?
Kyle (as Delivery Wizard): Reginald.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Reginald.
Kyle: (as Delivery Wizard): Yeah. Reginald Brown.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh, oh! Any relation to Alto Brown?
Kyle (as Reginald): No.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh. Sorry, there’s a guy named Alto Brown he uh..a-
Kyle (as Reginald): [Uninterested] Mm!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, nevermind.
Kyle: Symbol stops for a moment and puts his hand on Reginald’s shoulder and says-
Kyle (as Symbol): Actually, I have an idea here. How about, Reginald, would you like to hear the actual tale of what happened here? These are students of mine from the bard college and uh, I'd like to hear an outsider take of their work.
Kyle: Reginald like-
Kyle (as Reginald): I think I might have a minute. It better be good though.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Time is all we need.
Ali (as Yashee): Great well, here’s something!
[Upbeat tune begins to play]
Spurrier & Goodrich (singing): The ruins will ruin your day if you wind up here, find another way around the ruins, in the desert you’ll find a civilization left behind.
Ali (singing): The town seemed nice, we all got along. We made them a deal and wrote them a song. They showed us a rock, we bought the whole pitch, but everything changed when they brought out Mitch.
Spurrier & Goodrich (singing): Ruins will ruin your day if you wind up here, find another way around the ruins, in the desert you’ll find a civilization left behind.
Ali (singing): Fighting with Jairah, fierce and mean. We found ourselves trapped in a void with a fiend. We played our way out and the city collapsed, so running away was our only way past!
Spurrier & Goodrich (singing): Ruins will ruin your day if you wind up here, find another way around the ruins, in the desert you’ll find a civilization left behind.
Ali (singing): Out in the Stri we ran for our lives. Raz was a frog and followed behind. Surfing the sands was scary and new. We’ll never come back, and neither should you!
All (singing): Ruins will ruin your day-
Kyle (as Symbol): Alright, stop stop! Just stop!
[Music ends abruptly]
Goodrich: What?
Kyle (as Symbol): You already ran off Reginald.
[Someone laughs]
Kyle: Which yeah, during your performance- towards the end of it he just disappeared in that same sand orb that he appeared in. Kind of like, he leaned over and whispered in Symbol’s ear and Symbol nodded-
[Players laughing]
Goodrich: “I’m gonna go.”
Kyle: And then he was gone by the time it ended so-
Goodrich: Classic.
Kyle: Yeah, Symbol’s just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): You ran off Reginald, his main thing is that you were like giving caution about the ruins but it didn’t sound..
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It’s a little Kids Bop Beetzart.
Kyle (as Symbol): Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Which, maybe this is my own fault for not having talked to you about this sooner but uh-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We were just trying to lighten the mood-
Kyle (as Symbol): No, no that’s fair!
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): After the trail want and destruction we just left we thought we’d could maybe lighten the mood a little but-
Kyle (as Symbol): There’s just no foreboding sense to the song but that’s okay, Reginald gave me a note which I think we could work on something on the ride to Basom. The real Basom I guess.
Goodrich: (as Symbol): What it what this town was called? Maybe? Since it’s not Basom.
Kyle: (as Symbol): Uh, Not Basom sounds like a good enough name to me. So, mark it on your map as Not Basom.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We can talk about changing the lyrics to Not Basom in that other song we wrote.
[Players laugh and agree]
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah so um, I'm not Jairah so how about you tell me what happened? Cause I know I didn’t see anything when I touched the stone but you three kind of had a, agh moment whenever we touched the stone. So, what happened?
Ali (as Yashee): I don’t know about you guys but my vision was pretty- pretty out there.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, I saw something you only see every once in a blue moon. If you get my- [laughs].
Ali (as Yashee): I- I do get it! I do in fact!
Goodrich: Lo-ho-ho-ho um-
Ali (as Yashee): Couple different moons.
Kyle (as Symbol): I don’t get it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Two moons, one blue one red.
Kyle (as Symbol): Mhm.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Floating- Fell-
Spurrier (as Randy): There we uh, some pods.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Pods shooting in the air-
Spurrier (as Randy): Rising-
Ali (as Yashee): I remember that, yeah yeah yeah.
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay..
Ali (as Yashee): Did you guys feel like the trembling?
Kyle (as Symbol): You didn’t try to eat the pods did you?
Ali (as Yashee): Oh.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): No.
Kyle (as Symbol) Don’t eat pods.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, yeah we- [laughs]
[Players laugh]
Spurrier: Despite how tasty that look.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean, you guys saw the pods, the moon falling, the ocean- the ocean-
Ali (as Yashee): The tentacle?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): The tentacle-
Ali (as Yashee): That was creepy.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah. Okay so, I guess the three of us saw the same thing but yeah..
Spurrier (as Randy): Well Symbol- Splash saw-
Kyle (as Symbol): Symbol-
Spurrier (as Randy): How long were we, aghhh, as you say?
Kyle (as Symbol): Maybe like five seconds?
[All players sound shocked]
Kyle (as Symbol): Took a moment but-
Ali (as Yashee): It felt like we were there like, in this moment of- I don’t know, worldly disaster?
Goodrich: Yeah.
Kyle: He pulls out a little journal and starts writing these things down.
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay so, it felt like you were there-
Goodrich: And I start looking over his shoulder and start writing down in my journal too like, ooh yeah right!
Ali (Yashee): [Mumbles] Should we all be taking it out?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): [Mumbles] Take out your journals, guys.
Ali (Yashee): [Mumbles] Do I even have my journal here with me?
Spurrier: I never remember mine.
Kyle (as Symbol): You should always have your journal with you, Yashee!
Ali (as Yashee): Sorry!
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s like part of your regular assignment, where is your journal?
Ali (as Yashee): I honestly don’t know, I think it’s in the-
[Goodrich laughing]
Ali (as Yashee): I think it’s in the carriage.
Kyle (as Symbol): Mitch!
Kyle: And Mitch reaches in the carriage and he like rifles around and he holds out a journal and he’s like-
Kyle (as Mitch): Is this it?
Ali (as Yashee): That’s it, thanks Mitch!
Kyle: He tosses it over, you catch it.
Goodrich: Roll for it. [Laughs] no no no-
Kyle: No no, you catch it we’ll keep this going.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh, oh! And the tentacle grabbed the stone and it was the same stone that was-
Ali (as Yashee): As we were dying, which was the craziest part!
Kyle (as Symbol): Interesting..
Ali (as Yashee): Like, oh my gosh! I mean, we’ve had some weird stuff going on lately but that was rough.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Kyle (as Symbol): So, from what I have down, basically you saw pods rise from the sky, you saw the two moons that- you know, just the normal two moons that are around right?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yes.
Ali (as Yashee): Themarcels?
Kyle (as Symbol): Themarcels and Brubeck, right?
Players: Yes.
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay cool, um you were standing on a ceiling?
Players: Yes.
Ali (as Yashee): It was trembling like an earthquake or something.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We fell down somewhere.
Ali (as Yashee): Fell into this, I dunno-
Spurrier (as Randy): Hall or something-
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah.
Kyle (as Symbol): And you said at the end there was a stone that was holding..?
Ali (as Yashee): A tentacle grabbed the stone.
Kyle (as Symbol): And it was the same stone you were touching?
All: Yes.
Kyle (as Symbol): Interesting.
Kyle: And he writes that down.
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, and then we had our other experience with the bag-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Oh boy-
Ali (Yashee): Like I was saying, weird stuff lately.
Kyle (as Symbol): You mean the explosion?
Spurrier (as Randy): I don’t know which ones weirder..
Kyle (as Symbol): I know about the explosion I was there with you, it exploded and we had to run. That literally just happened, Randy.
Spurrier (as Randy): It was part of it.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, we got ourselves into kind of a - uh Wednesday casserole of a situation there too. It was kind of uh-
Ali (as Yashee): Obviously we-
[Players laughing]
Spurrier (as Randy): Have we told you about Tabitha and that whole experience?
Kyle (as Symbol): No, you haven’t told me anything in regards to Tabitha- isn’t that one of the other students?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Uh oh!
[Players laughing]
Spurrier (as Randy): Well-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Randyy! [laughs]
Spurrier (as Randy): Yes.
Kyle (as Symbol): Tabitha..
Kyle: And he flips through-
Kyle (as Symbol): Tabitha is in Christine’s class..
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): With Garreth and Miss Blackblade?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah! Miss Blackblade, [pauses] I can call her Christine.
[Players laugh]
Spurrier: Well well well!
Ali (as Yashee): We had a moment with Tabitha back at school.
Kyle (as Symbol): Kind of a rival band thing or what?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): That’s one way of putting it-
Ali (as Yashee): Oh, just kind of uh, playing around practicing but um, she got kind of weird on us.
Kyle (as Symbol): Weird?
Ali (as Yashee): As if something was taking over like, possessing her for a moment.
Kyle (as Symbol): Interesting, okay.
Kyle: And he begins to write that down.
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay so I mean, what happened?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Big, spooky voice. Thought it might have been a prank so we just kind of brushed it off. I mean, I know I did I don’t know about you guys.
Kyle (as Symbol): So, this has to do with the explosion you were talking about-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right! Then the explosion happened. So, the explosion happened in the hall and that same voice came to us in like uh, a black..spacial void?
Spurrier (as Randy): Sort of an empty space-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah, it wanted us to create or something like that.
Ali (as Yashee): I tried.
Kyle (as Symbol): So, create-
Spurrier (as Randy): We played him a song!
Ali (as Yashee): We tried.
Spurrier (as Randy): In front of these sweet pillars, right?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah-
Spurrier (as Randy): These pillars of matter or something.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You guys all saw that too, right?
[All players agreeing that they were there]
Kyle: He is writing all this down in furious detail uh, and he’s just like-
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay so, you played a song during the explosion?
Spurrier (as Randy): Well, we were in a different plane? Maybe?
Kyle (as Symbol): Oh okay, that actually- okay.
Ali (as Yashee): Yeah, cause when we came back it was like it had picked back up right where we left off.
Kyle (as Symbol): Blink of an eye kind of thing?
Ali (as Yashee): Like no time had passed.
Kyle (as Symbol): Well, I appreciate you confiding in me with that. I- that's good to know um-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Don’t tell Headmistress Greenspire! She might think we’re getting in trouble.
Kyle (as Symbol): [Laughs] Don’t- please, don’t worry about that I would not do anything to get you or myself in further trouble [falls into a whisper] as I already am..
[Players laugh]
Kyle (as Symbol): So, you said there was an entity talking to you. Uh, be wary I mean you guys when down into the club, you saw the other beings that were there.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Yeah.
Kyle (as Symbol): There are other dimensions and beings that inhabit these dimensions; and some of them are you know, kind of just normal joes like you and me and-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Mitch?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah, and Mitch over there and-
Kyle: And Mitch kind of looks up and he’s like-
Kyle (as Mitch): [Yelling] You talkin’ about me!?
Kyle (as Symbol): No, Mitch don’t worry about it- keep preparing!
Kyle: and he’s like-
Kyle (as Symbol): There are some- more malevolent forces out there that you need to be wary of, um-
Goodrich: (as Raz’ul): Delarim!
[Silence]
Spurrier: We’re just laying it all out on the table today, huh!?
[Players laugh]
Goodrich: I panicked!
Kyle (as Symbol): Where did that name come from?
Ali (as Yashee): I mean, does that name mean anything to you?
Goodrich: Right.
Kyle (as Symbol): I mean, Delarim is a name that- there's this cult from the southern plains of Alcan. They’re actually a cult that follows Darus Mur, it’s a titular name. It's a name that they use to reference the head of the organization.
[All players “oooh”]
Kyle (as Symbol): Where did you hear this name?
Ali (as Yashee): [Quickly] Nowhere.
[Players laugh]
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): You remember Wesley, right?
Kyle (as Symbol): No- oh, your song right!
Ali (as Yashee): Our song, yeah.
Kyle (as Symbol): The person who took you to Silk Grove and got you your strings yes, sorry. What about Wesley?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): He said he wanted to show someone named Delarim that something could work and turns out boom goes the dynamite, the ettercap exploded and he got all mad.
Kyle (as Symbol): Right.
Spurrier (as Randy): And then he left.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Then he left while saying Delarim needs to see such and such and didn’t really go into detail.
Spurrier (as Randy): It was brief.
Kyle (as Symbol): You could have talk to me about this a lot sooner! I mean it’s good to let me know about the things that you find on your little misadventures and everything and-
Spurrier (as Randy): We’re still new to school.
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s fine you know, I mean is there any other information or things that you got in that whole first task that I sent you on?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Don’t be mad, Splash.
Kyle: I’m not mad I just- I want to help out if I can. If you find something, you have a question, I'm your teacher. I'm more than happy to do what I can.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): It seriously has been what, crazy couple of weeks? A month?
Kyle: No, it’s only been about a- you’ve only been in school for about a week and a day-
[Players sound shocked]
Spurrier: Close enough.
Kyle (as Symbol): I know it feels like a long time, I guess.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Especially when you’re dropped into other dimensions then apparently time doesn’t work the same way.
Kyle (as Symbol): But enjoy it while you can cause it flies by fast.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Right.
Kyle (as Symbol): So, when did Delarim have to do with anything regarding the events?
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): All that happened, man is that he said Delarim and he was upset that he couldn’t show him something and then that was it, he left.
Kyle (as Symbol): But you went from talking about the entity in the void.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): Maybe they might have been related right?
Kyle (as Symbol): Oh okay!
Goodrich (as RAz’ul): I don’t know like, Delarim - and apparently there’s voids and dimensions and cults-
Ali (as Yashee): Just more weird stuff that we’ve- we’ve heard of on the way.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I come from the forest, doc. I don’t know about all this stuff!
[Players chuckle]
Kyle (as Symbol): Okay, that’s totally fair. Well-
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): We should probably get on the road! Right?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yeah.
Goodrich: Yeah, let’s go!
Kyle (as Symbol): I think Mitch should be about ready-
Kyle (as Mitch): [Yelling] Hey guys, I'm ready! You should get on over here!
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s- that’s Mitch.
Goodrich: That’s just Mitch.
[All laughing]
Kyle (as Symbol): That’s just on time.
Goodrich: That’s our Mitch!
Spurrier: Oh Mitch.
Kyle: Alright, so you all ready to pack up and move on out and you’re done talking to Symbol. Nothing else you wanna mention to him? No other questions you have for him?
Ali (as Yashee): Um, are there snacks in the carriage or?
Kyle (as Symbol): Yashee..Yashee..
Goodrich: [Chuckles] Yashee.
Ali (as Yashee): It’s been a long day..
Kyle (as Symbol): Yes, of course.
Ali (as Yashee): Thanks.
Kyle (as Symbol): Did you ever look under your seat?
Ali (as Yashee): No! Nobody told me to.
Kyle (as Symbol): See? That’s what happens, you need to investigate things as bards! Ah, another tip! another teacher tip! Be sure to investigate things.
Goodrich (as Raz’ul): I mean you’re talking to Symbol man, he’s the master of snackin’.
Kyle (as Symbol): You might find more than there appears to be.
Goodrich: Uh huh.
Ali (as Yashee): Like more- more snacks?
Kyle (as Symbol): [Laughs] Well, anything else that you find.
Ali: I’ll just- [laughing]
Goodrich: Randy and I just take Yashee’s hand and say, “Oh Yashee!”
[All laughing]
Kyle: Randy and Raz’ul take your hand and lead you to the carriage.
Goodrich: As we walk into the sunset.
Ali (as Yashee): Alright!
[Theme song plays]
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Transcripts by: Gabi Cardone@peachdoodles – Twitter
2/22/19