Ep. 10 – Brawlin' in the Hall

[Theme song plays]

Kyle: Hey everyone, welcome back to BomBARDed! We’re gonna go ahead and recap last episode real quick for ya. So, our bards woke up believing that had arrived in Basom and they were greeted by the town folk and the town folk were asking for a song in exchange for, you know, our bards being able to see the meteorite- or stone as they called it. After they played their song, they were taken right to Jairah to go see this stone so-

Goodrich: And we kind of worked out some feelings.

Kyle: Yeah, they definitely had some feelings to work out-

Goodrich: Yeaaah-

Kyle: And it was a little heavy but um, they worked their way through it and upon arriving to the main temple in this town/[slash] section of ruins they actually got to meet Jairah who told them about, “oh yes we need you to touch the stone, you can contribute to the vision. I want to know what you see.” The bards had a moment- they were kind of reluctant about it and asked their teacher, who is disguised as Leuy Hewis right now, asked if he would get on board with them and find out what’s going on. They all touched this stone and had a vision where they see um- had the red moon Brubeck and they saw the actual appearance of the blue moon that they seen before, which is named Themarcels.

 [Players laugh].

Goodrich: A blue moon called Themarcels?

Kyle: Yeah, the blue moon called Themarcels.

Goodrich: [Laughing] The Marcels wrote Blue Moon for anyone-

[All players understand the concept]

Kyle: At the end of the vision you all saw that like, tentacle crawl up and latch around a stone and then you realized that that stone was the same one that you had put your hand on. Of course, Symbol had told you that he didn’t see anything or, didn’t have a vision. You did an insight check to make sure that was the case and you found it to be true. And we ended it up with uh, you guys were kind of remised to kind of mention what you had saw and Jairah, taking offense to this, let you know that Mitch was actually in their possession and that she was ready to kill him if you weren’t gonna dish out the details that you saw. Upon Mitch coming out he let you know like, “guys we’re not really in Basom.” So, we’re gonna pick up there, you just found out that you’re not in Basom and Mitch is being held hostage. So, to paint the picture of where we’re at right now…

Kyle: You all are standing about mid-way up to the main podium in this temple area it’s- again it’s lined with pillows and a lot of the people of these ruins are sitting around in lavish fashion. But Jairah is up towards the front where the pedestal is and has Mitch next to her, and that’s where we’re gonna start off.

Goodrich: Raz’ul whips out his map and is like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Not Basom? Uh..

Kyle: [Goodrich laughs] No, no you have a map that you pull out and you’re looking at it, and you notice that there’s a marking that marks really old ruins in between your route to Basom-

Goodrich: Oh!

Kyle: So, you’re looking at your map and you pretty much assume that- “ooh, I guess we’re here.”

Goodrich: Ooh!

Spurrier: It’s not named? On the map?

Kyle: No, It's not named-

Spurrier: Okay- it's just a- huh.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Weird.

Kyle: But yeah, last we left off Jairah was threatening Mitch’s life and saying-

Kyle(as Jairah): Listen if you don’t tell me what I need to know then I will end your friends life here. So, perhaps one of you-

Kyle: And she’s eyeing down Raz’ul and she’s really looking at him and she’s just like-

Kyle(as Jairah): Well maybe one of you could be persuaded to tell me what you saw. Certainly, this wouldn’t be too hard for you to do.

Kyle: And she’s really like- she's making a lot of intricate hand gestures while she’s talking to you and looking you down, and I need you to go ahead and give me a wisdom save.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice] Got a fourteen plus three, seventeen.

Kyle: Okay, Raz’ul you start to feel like, “Yeah I think I could get on board with that” then like something I your head is like “wait no, w-what are you- no dude.” and you’re able to shake off this notion and you can tell that she just tried to like charm you.

Goodrich: [Sighs] Rude.

Spurrier: So, while she’s trying to charm Raz’ul I’m gonna try to hide behind Yashee.

Kyle: Okay-

Spurrier: Do a little stealth. [Rolls dice] That is a thirteen plus nine.

Kyle: So, I got your number for that.

Goodrich: So, you said I know she tried to do something wicked to me?

Kyle: Yes, you know that she tried to charm you.

Goodrich: Then I’ll cast pass without trace as a level 2 druid spell which is-

Kyle: Okay-

Goodrich: Plus, ten bonus to dexterity checks and can’t be tracked except by magical means, the creature that receives this bonus leaves behind no tracks or other traces of its passage. So, can I cast that on the three of us plus Splash, plus Mitch?

Kyle: Yes-

Goodrich: Cause it’s within a thirty-foot-

Kyle: Yeah, you’re within fifteen feet of Mitch and Symbol is standing right there next to you.

Goodrich: Okay! So, I guess uh, [chuckles] when I cast it can I be like the stone guardians of Atlantis when they come out to defend like-

Kyle: [Excited] Yes!

Goodrich: When they come out and they clap their hands [clap] and the shield comes up. So- so it’s like, my small stature but I feel so huge!

Kyle: Yeah, absolutely.

Goodrich: And they come out and I clap my hands [clap] and out comes like this big veil of shadows and I guess- it envelops everybody?

Kyle: Yeah, yeah if- it pretty much warps its way into like amoeba like shape to fit the people you want.

[All understand]

Goodrich: And I say uh-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Man, I'm too slick for those tricks!

[All laugh]

Kyle: So, you cast the spell and Jairah’s just standing up there and she’s like-

Kyle(as Jairah): [Irritated] Okay, we’re gonna have to get into this I guess then if you’re going to try and sneak off. Fine.

Kyle: And you notice that the people that are sitting on the lush pillows and everything, that are sitting around. They start to stand up and begin to morph and transform into like- they start growing hair on different parts of their body-

[Players exclaim in shock and excitement]

Kyle: Their ears elongate out, straight up and facing outward-

Goodrich: It’s like Pinocchio-

Kyle: Almost in a way, but not donkey-ish. Their faces meld forward and they get this little muzzle and everything and they just become a little bit gaunter and shredded but, you notice that their hands turn into claws and their feet turn into large paws, and you notice they look like a mixture between a human and a jackal.

Goodrich: Oh!

Kyle: It’s a jackal!

Kyle & Goodrich: Is it a jackal!? It’s a jackal! [Players laughing]

Kyle: Is it a jackal!? There's about ten of these people that transform into these jackals around you, including the person who is holding Mitch. You see Jairah and she’s also like-

Kyle(as Jairah): [Irritated] Enough of this illusion. If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right.

Kyle: And Randy, that weight you noticed earlier like, once she starts to say this you notice like an illusion start to drop and you see that the lower half of her body transforms into this large, mountain lion looking figure. Basically, the top half is a human woman and the bottom half is a lion body.

Goodrich: Like with four legs?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: [Excited] So it’s like a lion centaur!?

Kyle: Yes.

Goodrich: Man, that’s freaking cool!

Kyle: Absolutely-

Spurrier: [Excited] Uh huh!

Kyle: Um, and she says-

Kyle(as Jairah): I guess we’ll go ahead and get this started. Feel free to tell me what I need at any point in time if you want to save your life.

Kyle: Let’s go ahead and roll initiative.

[Multiple dice rolling]

Goodrich: I got a five plus zero.

Ali: Five plus one.

Spurrier: Uh, six plus three.

Kyle: Cool, cool, cool [Players laugh]

Goodrich: We’re all stealthy, we’re not interested in fighting.

Kyle: Okay, first up with got Jairah, she’s gonna start off our combat and she goes over to Mitch and she kind of caresses his face and everything and whispers in his ear. She caresses his cheek and- [rolls dice, whispers] yeah that’s not good.

Goodrich: Can he just hide? Cause I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Mitch, hide!

Kyle: He tries to run off and hide and like the jackal-were holding the chain like- he gets choked up on it and like, tugged back.

Goodrich: So, he just performed a stealth roll and didn’t clear?

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: [Disappointed] Oh..

Kyle: Mainly because like, he’s bound. He's on like a lead and everything-

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: So, it’s a little easier to keep track of him than would be say, Randy or-

Goodrich: Right-

Kyle: You three if you managed to find like a good hiding spot in this area.

Goodrich: Well, nuts! [Laughs]

Kyle: Well you know, you can try what you can try and- she caresses Mitch’s cheek and everything and she winds up cutting his binding, and you see his eyes just kind of like glaze over. His hands are free and they go to his side and she sticks a short sword in his hand and she points at you Raz’ul.

Goodrich: Uh oh.

Ali: Oh no.

Kyle: And uh-

Spurrier: Oh boy-

Goodrich: That’s right, come here Mitch! [claps hands a few times] C’mere! [Spurrier laughs]

Kyle: He brandishes-

Goodrich: Get away from the mean lady!

Kyle: He brandishes the sword and looks at you with intent.

Ali: Mitch gon’ give it to ya’.

Spurrier: [Surprised] Oh!

Kyle: Next up we have our ten jackal-weres, which are pretty much surrounding the four of you including Symbol, and I’m going to-

Goodrich: Pillow fight!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: [Chuckles] You wish.

Goodrich: Raz’ul yells out.

Kyle: Okay so uh, pretty much they break up into like, three on Yashee, three on Symbol, and three on Raz’ul since Randy is hiding behind Yashee and then there’s one holding Mitch of course.

Goodrich: We get to see Splash’s chops finally!

[Players agree enthusiastically]

Kyle: He’s supposed to be Leuy Hewis so who-

Goodrich: [Disappointed] Aw.

Kyle: Who knows if Leuy Hewis can do anything.

Goodrich: [Disappointed] Okay.

Kyle: I’m just gonna make this quick [rolls dice] five is not gonna hit Yashee, I know that much.

Ali: Sweet!

Kyle: Then..[whispers] Oh my god, no. Oh god nooo..[speaking normally] So all three of my groups of jackal-weres attempted and missed.

Goodrich: So, it was a pillow fight!

Kyle: Yeah so, I guess they wound up busting out pillows and not taking it seriously but yeah- that's gonna end their turn since they missed everybody so uh, Randy!

Spurrier: Cool! Since I'm hidden I'll make use of doing my sneak attack and I will shoot my short bow at uh, Jairah, right?

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Okay, yeah.

Kyle: Go for it.

Spurrier: Here we go! [Pauses] That is a thirteen plus six.

Kyle: Thirteen plus six? That is going to be a hit.

Spurrier: Hurray!

Goodrich: Huzzah hurray! Kaloo kalay!

Spurrier: Kaloo kalay, Randy!

Goodrich: Let Randy chortle in his glory, did Randy chortle in his glory?

[Players chuckling]

Spurrier: [snorts] Randy snorts in his glory. Uh, so that’s an eight, a three and a six-

Kyle: Seventeen.

Spurrier: Seventeen plus three, so that’s twenty.

Kyle: Dang, yeah. So, you fire off a good bolt and it catches her right under her arm like, basically her arm pit, and it get stuck in deep. You can see her really wince from the pain and part of her like cries out, part of roars a little bit too. Any movement or is that wrapping up your turn Randy?

Spurrier: I’m just gonna stay hidden.

Kyle: Alright, you’re actually gonna have to do another stealth check.

Spurrier: I get that plus ten though?

Kyle: Yes, you will.

Spurrier: Okay, yeah alright. [Rolls dice] That’s a fifteen plus nine plus ten.

Goodrich: [Chuckles] That’ll do it!

Kyle: Jeez! Okay!

Spurrier: [Laughing] So that’s a thirty-four.

Kyle: Suuuure! You're hidden!

Spurrier: I’m super hidden, hurray!

Kyle: That wraps up Randy’s turn, Yashee you’re up to bat.

Ali: Alright, how close are the jackals to me?

Kyle: Uh, you have three jackals right in melee combat with you. They have moved up in your biz and are brandishing scimitars.

Ali: Okay, since it’s my first attack of the turn I'm gonna use my reckless attack-

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: Which gives me advantage on melee attacks that use strength.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: Are they in a row or are they scattered?

Kyle: Pretty much they’re surrounding the group.

Ali: Okay, I wanna do like a spin attack where I just use my maul to try to- little helicopter swing, like a little Link. [Goodrich laughs] Link attack.

Kyle: Gotcha

Goodrich: Like the Three Stooges, just hit them all in a row. Doink, doink, doink!

Kyle: Let’s roll to see what happens.

Ali: Okay, well let’s see. [Rolls dice] Okay-

Goodrich: Hurray!

Ali: My first one was thirteen plus three so sixteen.

Kyle: Mkay, that’s gonna hit.

Ali: Oh, okay well great cause my second one was two so-

Kyle: Good.

Ali: Thirteen plus six so nineteen.

Kyle: That hits, go ahead and do your damage.

Ali: Sweet! Okay, that’s two d6-

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: Plus strength. So, that’s six plus five plus my strength which is three so fourteen.

Kyle: As you swing your maul around you just clock one of these things in the head and it’s head turns sideways; and I'm going to see how bad you damage this thing [rolls dice] this one is just pretty much going to collapse under the impact of your maul so-

[Players laugh joyously]

Kyle: Go ahead, if you want to, I’ll let you swing through on one more if you want to roll an attack to see if you get it.

Ali: Sure!

Goodrich: You got Curly now, he’s the easiest. Next ones Larry-

Ali: Is this one at advantage?

Kyle: No this one’s not at advantage.

Ali: Okay so that’s a seventeen-

Goodrich: Heck yeah!

Ali: Plus, six.

Kyle: Yes, that’s going to hit so go ahead and role me some damage.

Ali: Sweet. Okay that’s three plus my strength which is three so six.

Kyle: Excellent so yeah, you catch this other one and it doesn’t- you’re losing like the height of your swing. You hit the first one in the head but you’re on the downswing so this one ended up hitting him in the shoulder and you can just see it bunch up like [groans in pain] and it cries out like a yap. But, it’s able to stand sturdy after that hit even though you heard a pretty good crunch on it.

Ali: [Excited] Yeah!

Kyle: That’s gonna end your turn, Yashee and we are gonna go to Mitch. Mitch is going to uh, make his way towards Raz’ul and attack.

Spurrier: Rude.

Goodrich: Yeah, what’s his deal?

Kyle: [Rolls dice] Mitch is like walking towards you and it looks like he’s just like, dead set on stabbing you and he’s holding the short sword with both hands and just walking in your direction with it.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Careful with that, Mitch!

Kyle: And like moves towards you and like tries to jut forward, but winds up tripping on a loose stone in the ground- [Players laugh] and like falling forward and like, hits his head on the ground, kind of looks up and he’s just like-

Kyle(as Mitch): W-what's happening? What did I- what did I just do?

Goodrich: I extend my hand dramatically to him and I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): She had ya, but you can lean on me Mitch. When you’re not strong- [Players laugh]

Kyle: That’ll actually start off your turn, Raz’ul. You give Mitch a helping hand up and you can go ahead and start your turn.

Goodrich: So, I- I help Mitch up and then I clap him on the shoulder you know, very eighties movie style and I say.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Welcome back buddy!

Goodrich: You know?

Kyle(as Mitch): Thanks, man!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Yeah! Heck yeah, dude! Know kind of get behind me-

Goodrich: And I put him behind me there.

Kyle: Okay-

Goodrich: And I’m gonna cast thunder wave. I'm gonna do it as a level two spell-

Kyle: Okay.

Goodrich: So, I’m gonna say- [singing while playing guitar] I’m gonna be very brave, I'm casting a thunder wave. Raz’ul thunder! [Music stops] So Kyle, do thunder clouds appear in the room?

Kyle: Uh, yeah you have a little bit of thunder clouds develop around where you’re picking and around where you’re fretting and everything; and the thunder clouds kind of build up around your hands. It gets a bit of overcast for sure, and then yes, the clap of thunder emits from your instrument. I'm gonna say yeah, you basically can target the three. They have you surrounded in a circle so essentially you’re all covering three different directions to make sure- You're doing the back to back to back thing.

Goodrich: Oh ho, nice.

Kyle: Yeah, let me roll their constitution check real quick. [Rolls dice] And does- oh, how does a nineteen do?

Goodrich: Ooh..my spell save DC is thirteen so..

Kyle: So, I guess they’ll still take half damage- so if you want to go ahead and roll that damage.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice, whispers] Oops, eleven.

Kyle: Eleven damage, so they’ll take half rounded down. Alright they’re not all pushed back however, the direction you’re facing- your thunder wave uh, emits from your hands and flies past them. They braced themselves and take the full brunt of the force. The pillows that are behind them however, fly up in a flurry-

Goodrich: [Excited] Heck yeah!

Kyle: And whatnot and tossed every which way.

Goodrich: Do they explode and there’s feathers everywhere!?

Kyle: Yeah totally- [Players laugh, and talk about the scene excitedly] They just get ripped apart right in half and there’s feathers that fly up. Give me a perception check with advantage real quick, Raz’ul.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice] Seven. [Rolls dice again] Twelve plus three is fifteen.

Kyle: Mkay so, with your experience being a dwarf and knowing stone and everything. You can see past where these pillows have been shredded up and thrown up from your thunder wave- you see through the feathers and whatnot and you notice that the corner stone, where the wall meets the other wall-

Goodrich: Yeah?

Kyle: That corner stone. Looks really weak there’s a big crack in it and it looks like the structural integrity of this building is not the best.

Goodrich: Alright!

Kyle: Alright so it’s Symbols turn and-

[Players cheer loudly]

Kyle: [Laughs] He is going to um-

Goodrich: Let’s go Splash!

Kyle: He is going to- [chuckles] he is going to bust out a pair of recorders and he begins to play them, and from the ends of these recorders a blob of color and like shapes spit out of it and move their way over to the jackal that was- that's standing next to Jairah that was holding the lead for Mitch, and you see the blob expand in a hypnotic pattern. You can see this jackal-were just kind of become enraptured by this vision and you see him like go for his dagger and just stab at Jairah.

[Players laugh and gasp surprised]

Kyle: And-

Ali: Go jackal!

Kyle: Catches her off guard and catches her right in the side, and you can see her she’s like furious from this reaction, she didn’t see it coming. And she’s like looking at him, swearing him up and down and everything. That'll wrap up Symbol’s turn and we’re gonna go back to the top with Jairah who is super pissed!

Goodrich: Aw.

Spurrier: [Laughs]

Kyle: And uh, she’s is just going to outright claw at this jackal-were. [Rolls dice] And she straight up drops him- [players laugh in surprise] like, she just swiped with one of her giant lion paws. She rears back and just slaps the crap out of him and yeah, you see his flesh rend and everything and like, he winds up just collapsing to the ground and he is out.

Goodrich: Oooh, mark one down for Splash!

[Players laugh]

Kyle: But um, she is going to turn and she is going to say-

Kyle(as Jairah): [Annoyed] Okay, this is becoming quite inconvenient for me so..

Kyle: Raz’ul, she looks at you and she begins to weave an incantation and you hear something like, speaking in the back of your mind and telling you to do something. So, go ahead and-

Goodrich: Freakin’ Eddie!?

Spurrier: Now you know what it feels like!

[All laugh loudly]

Kyle: Go ahead and give me a wisdom saving throw.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice] Got a nine plus three, twelve.

Kyle: Twelve? Um, the voice in the back of your head gets louder as it begins to tell you-

Kyle(as Jairah): [Echoing] Why don’t you uh, why don’t you attack your half orc friend there? That’s what I want you to do next.

Kyle: So-

Goodrich: Do I have to?

Kyle: Yes, you have to because you have succumbed to a suggestion spell. Next turn if you-

Goodrich: But it’s not my turn is it?

Kyle: It’s not your turn, but on your next turn you will be forced to. It is to the jackal-weres and I’m gonna go ahead and do the attacks on Yashee, there’s only two on you since you dropped one. [Muttering as dice rolls] So, they’re gonna roll at advantage..that‘s not good for him- [rolls dice] that’s not good either, and then- [rolls dice, normal speaking volume] oof, bad dice! Bad dice! Okay, yeah so uh they miss you completely Yashee. They're really trying to like-

Ali: Oh man, really!? Even with their advantage?

Kyle: Yeah, even with their advantage they’re missing and uh, Raz’ul the ones that you tried to blow back are getting up on you and..does a fifteen hit you?

Goodrich: Yes.

Kyle: The other two wind up missing but one of them is able to get a successful attack on you. It brings its scimitar down, hits you and winds up doing [rolls dice] five damage as it slices into your dwarfy flesh.

Goodrich: Aw- no, it slices into my dwarfy studded leather armor, right?

Kyle: It found past the armor.

Goodrich: [Disappointed] Aw.

Kyle: Yeah. Then we have the one that’s going to try to attack Symbol. [Rolling multiple dies] Okay..that’s not gonna hit him. Okay, and they all- man, jeez! Okay, I’m trading my dice out after this round.

Spurrier: They’re not were-jackals they’re errr-jackals!

Kyle: Yeah they’re errr-jackals!

Goodrich: Errr-jackals!

[All laugh]

Kyle: Missing all over the place- Okay so- so yeah, the jackals all go through their turn only two of them able to make any kind of- actually one of them only making any kind of hit.

Goodrich: Well they’re trained in pillow fighting you can’t really blame them.

Kyle: Yeah hm, my dice are just treating me bad. So, we’re to Randy, it is your turn.

Spurrier: We’re all back to back to back you said?

Kyle: You’re making like a little triangle to see all directions in this big room.

Spurrier: And I would have no idea what Raz’ul’s about to do right?

Kyle: You wouldn’t, no.

Spurrier: Okay cool.

Goodrich: How's it feel?

[All laugh]

Spurrier: Sad!

Goodrich: It is sad, isn’t it?

Spurrier: [Chuckles] Okay, if I was to try to deploy something because of the spell that Raz’ul cast would I be able to do it in a like, stealthful way? That the creatures wouldn’t notice something that I've deployed?

Kyle: What are you trying to deploy?

Spurrier: The hole that I have.

Kyle: Oh, yeah-

Spurrier: The portable hole-

Kyle: You can roll a sleight of hand and I’ll let you have that bonus to it if you want to do that.

Spurrier: Is Jairah big enough to fit in it?

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Okay cool then yeah, I'd like to deploy that in front of us I guess, in between us and her.

Kyle: Okay, so go ahead and give me that sleight of hand check real quick and you can add that plus ten bonus to it.

Spurrier: Yes! [Rolls dice] So that’s eighteen plus six plus ten, so that’s thirty-four.

Kyle: Thirty-four! Okay, so you grab this thing and you like unfold it enough to where you can like slap it out and you’re like, Christopher Lloyd in Roger Rabbit where he just-

[Players laughing]

Kyle: Throws that black circle onto the ground-

Spurrier: That’s exactly what I want it to be, yeah-

Kyle: And it lands perfectly-

Spurrier: Instead of a standard action could I do the persuasion check and also stealth so I can go back into hiding?

Kyle: Yeah, cause you can do the bonus action stuff.

Spurrier: Okay, cool!

Kyle: So yeah go for it.

Spurrier: So, I'm gonna try to persuade her- [rolls dice] Okay, so that’s a seventeen plus six.

Kyle: [Amused] Yeah you can tell- you pop out from behind Yashee’s leg and whatnot and you’re just kind of like, gesturing-

Spurrier: Hey, hey Jairah get on over! Come on over!

Goodriching: [Laughing] What?

Kyle: And she kind of looks- she kind of like- she's just finished swiping down her own jackal-were and she’s like, looking at you and she’s kind of like, a little intrigued-

Spurrier: Awesome.

Kyle: You know, she kind of has like a half smirk on her face and shakes her body a little bit and she starts to like, turn her direction towards you.

Players: [Singing to the tune of “Karma Chameleon”] C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon come Jairah.

Spurrier(as Randy): I bet you can’t find me!

Spurrier: So yeah, I'm gonna taunt her and say she can’t find me, I'm gonna go back into hiding.

Kyle: Okay.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] Seventeen- seventeen plus nine plus ten, so that’s a thirty-six. So hopefully even with her being aware of me I can [starts laughing] still hide.

Kyle: That spell is insane. Alright so that’ll uh- and you got a thirty-four on that, jeez.

Spurrier: Yeah.

Kyle: Right okay, so that’ll end up Randy’s turn and we are to Yashee.

Ali: Okay, so I'm thinking um, how far behind the jackals is that hole?

Kyle: It’s probably about like five feet behind them.

Ali: And how big is the hole?

Kyle: Uh, it is a six by six-foot hole, right?

Spurrier: And ten feet deep, it’s a six-foot circle.

Ali: Okay, I don’t want to mess up what you’re doing with Jairah but I kind of want to use thunder wave to just push them down-

Spurrier: There’s probably room for both-

Ali: Into it but I don’t- okay. So, I'm gonna slip on my tap shoes.

Kyle: Let’s just say you already have them on.

Ali: Okay, and I’m gonna start tapping out my thunder wave.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: In hopes of knocking them back into the hole since-

Kyle: So, you have two that are up on you so I'm gonna make constitutions for both. [Rolls dice] How do tens do?

Ali: Thirteen.

Kyle: Okay, well that is successful-

Goodrich: Yay!

Kyle: So, go ahead and roll damage and they will be pushed back ten feet. One of them gets knocked completely off their feet and flies backwards into the hole. The second one gets blown back to the edge and it like, tries to catch it’s balance a little but, it ends up falling back and you can just hear the thud as it falls into the hole. Um, and-

Goodrich: He’s just Fred A-staring at the ceiling!

[All laugh and “ooh”]

Kyle: [Sighs] Yeah, he is. Okay, and also another effect of this thunder wave you’ve cast- you notice around you after the echoing subsides you can see like dust and dirt falling from the ceiling and whatnot and like the buildings kind of shaking and moving. You're reminded again, you can see that like the structure is not looking very good.

Goodrich: Chaos Sauce bringing the house down!

Kyle: Alright, that blows back those two so we’re pretty much to there being six for you all to encounter plus Jairah. And, we are going to move to Mitch’s turn-

[Players cheer]

Kyle: And Mitch- Mitch is gonna clap Raz’ul on the back and be like-

Kyle(as Mitch): [Confidently] Thanks again man, I think I can handle this.

Kyle: And he goes for one of the ones that’s near Raz’ul trying to give him a hand. [Rolls dice] And... [silence, and then a bit of laughter]. What a Mitch! He missed.

Goodrich: He Mitched!

Kyle: He stabs forward and is like- [weak grunt] you guys can tell that fighting is not his thing. Uh-

Goodrich: Classic Mitch.

Kyle: Probably more comfortable behind a horse. So, that’s Mitch’s turn and Raz’ul you’re up. Go ahead and roll your attack on Yashee.

Goodrich: Uh-oh.

Ali: Oh, right!

Goodrich: Yeah, so do I choose what I do or what?

Kyle: You just melee attack.

Goodrich: Okay [chuckles]

Kyle: Use your axe.

Goodrich: Can’t I just slap fight her like- [weak grunt]

Kyle: Nope! No, you’re gonna use your weapon.

Goodrich: [Sighs] Okay.. [Rolls dice] So I got a thirteen plus three, sixteen.

Kyle: Does that hit, Yashee?

Ali: [Softly] Yeah.

Goodrich: [Sadly] Oh..

Spurrier: Oh no.

Kyle: Roll your damage on Yashee.

Spurrier: Jeez, so rude.

Goodrich: Oh no, and I have the capo attached! So, I have a twenty percent chance of getting a head shot.

Kyle: [Mumbling] Okay, yeah..

Ali: I dunno, I mean like..

Goodrich: I dunno what-

Ali: I’m like really tall!

Goodrich: That’s true, is that a thing?

Kyle: Nah, I'd say you can reach with the length of your weapon and the length of your arms.

[Players discussing and laughing over each other]

Kyle: So, I'm gonna roll. If it gets a twenty or below, you’ll have hit her in the head. [Rolls dice]

Ali: Thank you, sixty-two.

Goodrich: Hurray!

Kyle: So just a regular attack.

Goodrich: [Rolls dice, awes] Seven!

Ali: Seven!

Spurrier: Plus, three.

Kyle: Plus three, so you take ten damage. You just feel an axe hit you in the back and you hear- you hear as it sinks into you the vibrations of Raz’ul’s guitar like, [guitar chords are hit].

Goodrich: Is it a sad vibration in a minor chord?

Kyle: Yes.

Spurrier: Sad, sad, sad, sad vibrations.

Ali: I’m gonna turn around holding my back and I'm like-

Ali(as Yashee): [Yells] Dude, what are you doing!?

Kyle: You look at Raz’ul and you can see there’s kind of a blank stare on his face as he’s just holding his weapon, he’s just eyeing you down. One of his eyes is almost like twitching in a way and he’s just looking at you and he’s like, [grunts].

Ali: Can I just um, grab his axe and hold him up?

[Players laugh]

Kyle: It’s not your turn.

Ali: Oh.

Kyle: We’re gonna go to Symbol’s turn, and Symbol is going to- having seen Raz’ul attack Yashee he’s going to like-

Kyle(as Symbol): Raz’ul, w-what are you- oh sorry, I'm supposed to be- [with a New York, Boston accent] Raz’ul what are you doing? I can’t believe you would do something like-

Kyle: And he gets a glimpse of you he’s just like-

Kyle(as Symbol): Oh, okay okay I see what’s happening here.

Kyle: He directs his sights towards Jairah and you see him just- he pulls out this bow from that little bag that he had before, reaches in elbow deep, pulls out a bow and like knocks up and just like fires-

Goodrich: Strings up a violin?

Kyle: No, he knocks up his bow and-

[Kyle and Goodrich chuckle]

Kyle: He knocks it up and fires off at Jairah and- [rolls dice] that is going to hit.

[Players cheer]

Kyle: Alright so he knocks up the bow and uh, fires off at Jairah and the arrow just flies through the air and punctures right below her left shoulder and she kind of knocks back. You see her like, wince from the pain, you see her like hold her head for a moment, and Raz’ul you have a moment of clarity as you’re pulling your axe out of Yashee’s back, pulling back you’re like, “What did I just do!?” You kind of come to and you kind of have your wits about you again as you realize what’s going on and you see Jairah holding her head. So, that is going to end Symbol’s-

Goodrich: Can I say sorry? I- sorry-

Kyle: You can, yes.

Goodrich: Can I say sorry, Yashee?

Ali: You can.

Goodrich: I guess I should. [Laughs, mockingly] I dunno, can you!? Yeah, I say-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Singing] I never meant to hurt you, Yashee.

Ali(as Yashee): I mean, you like axed me in the back.

Goodrich: Aw.

Ali(as Yashee): It’ll be alright.

Goodrich: Et tu, Raz’ul?

[All laugh]

Kyle: Alright, so we’re back to the top of the action it is Jairah’s turn. She is looking pretty fierce, she’s trying to like look for Randy around where he last hid-

Spurrier(as Randy): Come find me!

Kyle: And uh, she’s kind of like in a little bit of a rage and she’s like walking forward and let’s see if she notices the pit [rolls dice].

Spurrier: No.

Kyle: She does not!

Spurrier: Yes!

Kyle: She does not notice the pit and she just happens to step right into it. Let’s see a dex save, [rolls dice, players laugh] nope! So, a dex save and she is fallen in the pit for right now.

[Players cheer]

Goodrich: Close it, close it!

Ali: Fold her up!

Kyle: And that is going to end her turn so let’s go with the jackal-weres.

Goodrich: [Groans] These guys.

Kyle: Yashee you see one of the jackal-weres that you knocked back into the pit. You see his arms come up and he’s like scrambling to pull himself up. He pulls himself up and he like gets up to his feet and he looks pretty exhausted, he’s just like [breathes heavily]. But he’s staring you down and he’s got his sword ready to go, and Raz’ul you have the jackal-weres that are attacking you. [Rolls dice] Mhm does a fourteen hit, Raz’ul?

Goodrich: Yeah.

Kyle: Cool, [rolls dice] alright-

Goodrich: Oh no!

Kyle: So uh, you actually get hit by two of these jackal-weres with their scimitars-

Goodrich: At the same time?

Kyle: Yeah, they both get you so you take seven damage from one and three damage from the other for a total of ten damage. That's the round from those, and then I'm gonna get the ones who are gonna attack Symbol. [Rolls multiple dice] Yes, yes. Okay so two of them wind up hitting Symbol and uh, [rolls dice] alright. So yeah, they both slice into Symbol really well as he like- coming back from pulling down his hands from firing off at Jairah they get a really good hit on him. You see he takes a couple hits and he winces and he’s just like, “aw dang, caught me in the side.” And that is going to take us to Randy’s turn.

Spurrier: I was going to do another sleight of hand to go get my hole back.

Kyle: Mkay, so to do that you’re going to have to move past the jackals that are in the nearby vicinity. Moving that directions is going to provoke and attack of opportunity.

Spurrier: Hmm, can I do a stealth check over to the hole?

Kyle: Yes you can, go for it.

Spurrier: Cool! [Rolls dice] That is a twelve plus nine plus ten, [chuckles] that’s a thirty-one.

Kyle: [Sighs] Okay yeah, you get there.

[Players laugh]

Goodrich: I’m using this spell all the time!

Spurrier: Yeah, right?

Goodrich: This spells great!

Spurrier: Okay, then I guess I’ll do a sleight of hand to get the-

Kyle: Yes.

Spurrier: [Rolls dice] So then that is, two plus six plus ten so that’s eighteen.

Kyle: Okay, yeah you get it all folded up and that’s pretty much your action is getting it to the folded state.

Spurrier: And as far as we know there’s no magical means of keeping it closed? Just the act of closing it itself is cool or?

Kyle: Yeah, all you can do is fold it up.

Spurrier: As far as we know, things can’t get out that are folded up in it?

Kyle: You don’t know that.

Spurrier: We don’t know that? Okay, cool that’s what I thought. Um-

Goodrich: Are you gonna use a bonus action to tie it up?

Spurrier: Well yeah, I was trying to think if I had a way of doing anything like that. Okay, I know what I’m gonna do! Are any of the like downed jackals by me? Like the ones that have been beaten?

Kyle: Yeah, there is one.

Spurrier: Okay, then I'd like to try to stick the hole underneath that jackal.

Goodrich: Stick it underneath-

Kyle: Tuck it underneath?

Spurrier: Yeah-

Kyle: Okay-

Ali: Like a reverse table cloth.

Spurrier: Yeah, exactly.

Kyle: Hm, okay! Yeah, I say you do that no problem. As you are folding up the portable hole you saw Jairah in there and a dead jackal-were, and Jairah like tried to jump up but you were able to close it up-

Spurrier: Yes!

Kyle: You felt like the pulse of the actual cloth like, hit up but you were able to fold it up, hold it down-

Spurrier: I just give it a little smack.

Kyle: Yeah.

Spurrier: Down!

Goodrich: Like, Jumanji.

Kyle: Yeah, exactly! And we are going to go to Yashee, it is your turn.

Ali: Okay so how close is that jackal that crawled out of the hole?

Kyle: He’s in melee range with you, he’s like five feet away.

Ali: Okay, I'm going to rage.

Kyle: Okay.

Ali: Just for fun. Um, I don’t realize that the- I havent been paying attention, I've been focused on him so much that I didn’t realize the holes been put away, and so I take out my maul and kind of get ready to check him and I go-

Ali(as Yashee): [In a deeper voice] I am raging!

[Players laugh]

Ali: And I try to check him into the hole-

Kyle: [Chuckles] Nice.

Ali: That’s not there anymore.

Kyle: Go ahead and give me an attack roll.

Ali: [Rolls dice] A three plus six, nine.

Kyle: Okay, you go to butt this guy but he’s able to duck under your cross bar that you’re using your maul for, jukes around you and-

Ali: I’m gonna blame this on the uh, slit in my back [giggles].

Goodrich: That’s fair, that’s fair.

Kyle: That’s fair! So, it’s Mitch’s turn and he kind of looks at Raz’ul and he’s like-

Kyle(as Mitch): [Surprised] What are you doing man? That was- What the heck was that?

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I was bewitched, didn’t you see her wrinkle her nose? She got me, man!

[All laugh as Goodrich hums Bewitched tv show theme]

Kyle(as Mitch): Interesting, that-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): I’m good now, I'm good.

Kyle(as Mitch): That’s good, you might want to check out your instrument it’s looking a little weird. It's shedding a little bit of light there.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Surprised gasp]

[All imitate the gasp, laughter]

Kyle: As he’s saying that he’s attacking one of the jackal-weres and- [rolls dice then gasps] Yes! [rolls another dice]. Okay and like, he’s looking at you and just like stabs randomly.

[Players laugh]

Kyle: [Mumbles] And then that’s-

Goodrich: It’s like he’s a savant and he just suddenly turns and is like, [imitates sound of a sword thrusting].

[Players agree]

Kyle: He’s just looking at you says that and juts is sword forward and catches one right through the chest to the heart. It just like collapses on his blade and he just looks back and is like-

Kyle(as Mitch): Whoa! Cool!

Kyle: So that is going to end Mitch’s turn, Raz’ul, your turn.

Goodrich: Okay, so I look down at Usumptin and I say.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Whoa, whoa it’s okay, it’s okay.

Goodrich: And Kyle, I noticed from my passive perception that Jairah’s missing from the action, right?

Kyle: You notice that she’s not in the room, you don’t know where she is though.

Goodrich: [Surprised] Oh! Uh-

Kyle: Cause, you didn’t see what happened to her-

Goodrich: Right, can I yell out? Hey! Where's the beef? Er- [All laugh] Where’s Jairah?

Kyle: Yeah, yeah you can say something as part of your turn.

Goodrich: So, I go to Randy and say, hey where’s the cream filling? No, I say- I say where’s Jairah? Okay, that’s what I say.

Kyle: What happened to Jairah!?

Goodrich: Where’d she go!?

Spurrier: Am I allowed to respond even though it’s not my turn?

Kyle: Uh, yeah you can go ahead and respond.

Spurrier: Okay, Randy just giggles and points down at the jackal that’s dead-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul) Okay?

Ali(as Yashee): She’s the jackal?

Spurrier(as Randy): Underneath. The hole. She's in the hole.

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Oooh!

Spurrier(as Randy): Yeah, she’s folded up for now, she’s fine.

Goodrich: When Randy says that, I can understand that she’s in the hold folded up because we played the prank on Yashee. I know that’s how it works.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay, and do I see the hole underneath the dead jackal?

Kyle: No, because it’s tucked underneath a jackal.

Goodrich: Okay, can I go over to there?

Kyle: Yeah, if you want to move over in that direction you would provoke an attack of opportunity though.

Goodrich: But when I get there, I can do what I wanna do? It's not an attack or a spell or anything.

Kyle: Yeah.

Goodrich: Okay.

Kyle: [Rolls dice] A fifteen does hit.

Goodrich: Yeah, yeah.

Kyle: So.. [rolls dice] you take a total of eight damage as you’re hit by both of the jackal-weres that are still taken up with you and Mitch, but you’re able to make your movement over the jackal that’s lying on the ground and has the portable hole underneath him.

Goodrich: So, I get over to the dead jackal and I kind of rustle around- and I find the hole right?

Kyle: Yes-

Goodrich: Okay-

Kyle: You find the hole underneath his body-

Goodrich: Okay, so I whip out my needle that never bends- which is, you know, I’ve had with me- and Kyle I know that this is a needle that doesn’t bend-

Kyle: Yeah-

Goodrich: It’s not liked a needle I had with me-

Kyle: Yeah-

Goodrich: I haven’t known its magical properties? Okay.

Kyle: For sure, you found it and you were just like, “whoa!”

[Players “whoa!” along with Kyle]

Goodrich: So yeah, I wanna like fold over the corners and like thread it with this needle that never bends so that, you know, it never bends and the thing will never open again.

Kyle: So Raz’ul you go to pin the portable hole closed using your unbending needle and as you pierce the cloth there’s an instant explosion that sends you flying back. Yashee and Randy-

Goodrich: [distancing himself from the mic] No regrets!

[All laugh]

Kyle: Yashee and Randy, you see this happen and the explosion is a swirling mass of black and blue energy that seems to consume your concentration; and in the blink of an eye you three are standing alone in a black void. You see nothing, and can hear nothing but the beating of your own hearts. A sense of dread washes over you as you notice a set of gray eyes peering at you, constantly affixed in your peripheral. A semi-familiar voice fills the void.

Kyle(as Unknown): [deep and echoing voice filled with mystery and slight malice] I did not think an opportunity like this would arise without my servant, but here we are. I should thank you for creating this bridge but now that I have you, you will show me what you would not before. [Inhales sharply] You stink of them, a pungent odor offensive to the senses which makes me curious. Can you create? Are your abilities inferior? Or can you breathe life as well? Show me and I will return you. Do not and remain here forever. There are no other terms.

Kyle: The voice echoes throughout the void and you see three pillars of dark matter rise in front of you. Your instruments are removed from their holsters and they begin to float in front of you. Let’s roll some chord dice.

[Players laugh nervously but with excitement]

[Electronic music plays]

Kyle: Hey! So-

Goodrich: Yeah, hey! [imitates a horn]

Kyle: Having a good time, right?

Goodrich: Okay..[multiple dice rolls against a surface] C, B diminished-

Ali: Oh we gotta roll again, is that a re-roll? [mumbles] That one's yours. [Rolls dice, laughs]

Goodrich: Another re-roll. Come on, Kyle jeez. [Dice rolls] A minor-

Ali: Alright!

Goodrich: Alright so C, B, G diminished and A minor.

Ali: Awesome.

Kyle: That’s not bad, let’s see what you guys do with this.

Ali: We always forget-

Goodrich: We always forget to do this.

Ali: We gots to get some drums going, it’s okay. [Sound of coin hitting surface] Alright..

Goodrich: Hey, you know what else I realized? We have never once called this a drum roll.

[All laugh]

Ali: Aw, no!

Goodrich: Drum roll, please!

Ali: Oops!

Goodrich: Oops is right.

Ali: No better time than the present [rolls dice].

Goodrich: Better time than this terrifying situation we find ourselves in.

Ali: Alright so we’ll start with rock twenty-six as our pattern-

Goodrich: Alright.

Ali: And sixty-nine!

Goodrich: Sixty-nine!

Kyle: That’s a good one!

Ali: As rock sixteen, it’s gonna be a very rocking event.

Goodrich: I guess.

Kyle: Alright yeah, I'm gonna let them go- let them go write this song while I'll talk to ya’ll in a second.

[Music transitions]

Kyle: Hey everyone it’s your dungeon maestro Kyle and again I just wanted to say thank you for listening and for hanging out with us. As always you can follow us on social media by searching @BomBARDedcast if you wanna, you know, find us you can find us on there. Or if you want to just e-mail us you can do that at BomBARDed@gmail.com. You can also share our little adventure using the #bardcast and if you’re listening through Apple Podcast please be sure to rate, review and subscribe you know just to help us out a little bit, we’d appreciate it.

If you want to check out our band Lindby, which is spelled L-I-N-D-B-Y you can go to lindbymusic.com or go to lindby.bandcamp.com, and speaking of bandcamp we’re going to step up and BomBARDed bandcamp page for Chaos Sauce’s music, and we plan to release the first ten songs for you to download. Goodrich is gonna go in and do some more audio magic on them for you- just make them sound a little bit better. Um, also Spurrier is gonna go through and select like, the background music he had composed so we can release a separate OST album. We're gonna get the dates for those set, be sure to follow us on social media so you can find out about it first, cause we love you like that! Later!

[Music transitions]

Goodrich: Raz’ul kind of looks around and is like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Uh, who is this dude? Who’s he jiving with this cosmic debris he’s got here? I don’t..[chuckles] I don’t know.

Ali: Yashee’s honestly too scared to move.

Goodrich: Aw.

Ali: She’s having a melt down over here.

Goodrich: Okay well I got over and I’m like-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Hey it’s okay we’re- we’re gonna get out of this-

Ali(as Yashee): [Terrified] I don’t know-

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): Don’t worry-

Ali(as Yashee): [Terrifed] I don’t know what’s going on..it’s very dark and creepy in here.

Spurrier: Well, even though it’s way more intense than the past stuff that Randy’s dealt with, given this whole Eddie craziness he’s been in. I think he’s feeling a bit more up to the task and heads over to his organ.

Kyle: Okay, do you grab your organ?

Spurrier: Yes!

Kyle: Okay, when you grab your organ the runes on it light up with a dazzling light that you haven’t seen yet. It’s just like pulsating and almost overflowing with this energy.

Spurrier: Well in that case I’m gonna start playing.

[Piano begins to play a calmly melody]

Spurrier(singing): I think we’ve gotta play, Gotta play our way out of this place. Or be trapped in space.

[Guitar starts to follow along]

Goodrich (singing): But where are we? And who is this? And what are we gonna play now? A melody, to remedy the challenge from this enemy.

Spurrier & Goodrich(singing): So Yashee, how ya feel? Are you ready to go? It’s getting real.

[Drums pick up and all play together]

Ali(singing): I think I’m starting to see the light. If you’re both with me I’ll be all right. This cannot be our end. Our music will transcend, and lead us to our destiny. We are each other's remedy. Any fight we come across, we can defeat as Chaos Sauce!

Goodrich: one, two, three!

[More upbeat]

All(singing): So we’ll take this matter, and we’ll make it a door, cause we’ve got lives worth living for. And if you haven’t heard, well that’s your loss, ‘cause these three bards are Chaos Sauce!

Chaos Sauce! (x8)

[Music ends]

Kyle: Okay so as you play, wisps of magic begin to form and swirl in front of you and they form into three individual orbs. They pulsate and grow and try to form together but there’s some kind of barrier that seems to keep them separated. As the song comes to a close the orbs speed towards the pillars and you imagine that they’re going to be creating a door. They burrow slowly into them; the pillars collapse into a pool of viscous liquid and begin to thrash violently. You hear the voice fill the void again-

Kyle(as Unknown): So you can’t create like them. Fortunately, I can and I'm very excited to work with this energy.

Kyle: Three figures begin to slowly emerge from the thrashing liquid, resulting in humanoid shapes. Each of them mirroring one of you. You look at these things made of dark material and all the sudden their eyes open, and as soon as they do, you’re back in the temple. The explosion continues and then it draws back in, sucking in everything around it, pulling in rocks from above you and you realize.. You need to leave this temple now.

Goodrich: Probably because we just created a black hole in Beetzart!

Spurrier: Nicely done!

Kyle: Nicely done! Yeah, so this thing it-

Goodrich: Raz’ul just aced his physics test!

Kyle: It slowly catches onto these tethers and slowly sucks back into itself. The feathers from the pillows from nearby are starting to get sucked in, the dead jackal-were that’s nearby that you moved is just sucked in and drawn in to it. A slab falls from the ceiling and lands right on top of it. You see the slab get crunched down over a small period of time, just gets like sucked into it. Eventually that slab disappears. A stone around it starts to come up out of the ground and be like, forced into it. You notice corner stones- especially the corner stone that was weak earlier- Raz'ul, you notice that’s starting to shake and move and slide out from its positioning. The jackal-weres immediately like, seeing this happen- they flee and they run out of the temple. Symbol is looking at you three and is like-

Kyle(as Symbol): We gotta get out of here, we gotta go now! Uh, this is turning really bad! Especially whatever you just did to that extra dimensional portable hole!

[Players chuckle]

Kyle: Uh, so-

Spurrier: So, I presume we don’t have the hole anymore?

Kyle: No.

Spurrier: Oh, sad day.

Goodrich: All we have is this beautiful universe it’s about to create once the implosion is done [laughs].

Ali: How high up are we?

Kyle: The stairway was about like, fifty feet up so imagine you know the acropolis kind of thing.

Goodrich: So, do we make a run check?

Kyle: I would say, Raz’ul, just for posterity you were able to hold on to your needle-

Goodrich: Hurray-

Kyle: But you lose it-

Goodrich: Aw-

Kyle: When you pierced it, you got like blown back a little bit but you still have the needle in your hand. So, you can still have that in your inventory but-

Spurrier: Nice!

Kyle: Yeah, I'm gonna say we’re out of combat and uh-

Goodrich: Little bit!

Kyle: Symbol’s just saying-

Kyle(as Symbol): We gotta go, let’s- let’s get out of here.

Kyle: And he grabs Mitch and he’s like-

Kyle(as Symbol): Mitch come on, I still need you buddy let’s roll.

Goodrich: Do we need to roll too, Kyle? For-

[All laughing]

Kyle: No, you don’t need to roll. Uh, you know what now that you say it- yeah! Roll me-

Goodrich: [Laughing] Oh my gosh!

Kyle: You made your bed- I'm joking, I'm not gonna do that to you.

[All laugh]

Ali: I think maybe just Goodrich roll something!

Kyle: The- the temple around you is collapsing and you see the open doorway that you came through and you can see- you can see down it.

Ali: Alright, since we’re all running and I’m still raging I'm gonna dash ahead since that’s a bonus thing for my primal path.

Kyle: Mkay.

Ali: Just to make sure it’s clear for everybody. So, I’m gonna take off.

Goodrich: Randy and I are running and like, clutching our chests like [panicked breathing] as you speed right past us!

Ali(as Yashee): I’m gonna make sure it’s clear for us, guys!

Kyle: You see Yashee- her stride just like, she takes these long strides and just gets way ahead of you guys.

Goodrich: Can it be like Free Willy where we’re liking running and all the sudden-

[All talking over each other at once excitedly]

Goodrich: Like right over our heads like, “whoa!”

Kyle: She like hurdles over you and Micheal Jackson is just sitting there like, [imitating Micheal Jackson] hee hee!

[All laughing]

Kyle: Um, okay so Yashee you’ve dashed down the hallway leading to the front door of this temple. You come out to the front door and you can see the stairs outside that lead down to the ground and again this is about fifty-feet up in the air. You can see that jackal-weres that were there running away from you. They're like falling and trying to get down the stairs as best as they can, but they’re like falling and tripping over themselves and rolling down the stairs. You look back down the hallway that you just ran out of from the main room of this temple and you can see Symbol, Mitch, Randy and Raz’ul running as they’re trying to escape the collapse of this temple. You’re standing in the open doorway compelling them to hurry up.

Ali: Okay, so I'm gonna yell after them-

Ali(as Yashee): Just run as fast as you can, I’ve got it!

Goodrich(as Raz’ul): [Breathless] We are- we are running!

Ali: So, I’m going to un-rage and start beating out a little tune on the stone in preparation for them to come flying out of the tower.

Kyle: What spell are you casting?

Ali: I’ll be casting feather fall.

Kyle: Okay, let's hear you tap that out.

Ali: Okay- [singing and playing drums to the tune of Wonder Wall] I said maybe, you’re gonna land a little more lightly. Cause after all, casting feather fall. [Music ends, someone laughs] Alright!

Kyle: Sweet!

Kyle: Randy, Raz’ul and the other two- you're running towards the entrance and you see Yashee like, “come on guys, come on!” and she starts tapping out her spell and playing something and you can hear the music filling the air. She turns to run with you as you pass the threshold of this temple and the collapse just emits a wave of force and sends you flying forward. Everybody give me a dexterity save.

[Sounds of dice hitting surface]

Ali: I have advantage on dexterity saving throws.

Spurrier: I got a natural twent. [Angelic chorus of “Oh yeaah!” plays, all laugh]

Kyle: Oh yeah!

Goodrich: [Away from the mic, laughing] Every time!

Spurrier: Plus three, so that’s twenty-three.

Kyle: Cool-

Ali: I got twelve plus one as my best roll.

Kyle: Twelve plus one? Okay.

Goodrich: I got a seven plus nothing.

Kyle: And I need to roll for the other two. [Rolls dice] Cool, they’re good. Raz’ul you’re knocked head over heels as you’re sent flying forward over these stairs. Yashee and Randy you’re able to like, dive off gracefully and so are Mitch and Symbol. Raz’ul you’re going head over heels but you look like you’re about to fall like, face first on to the stairs but then you kind of just like float to the very bottom.

Spurrier: Since I got a natural twent- since he’s going down like that can I land on him like a surf board-

[All laughing]

Spurrier: And just kind of ride him down?

Kyle: You absolutely do that!

Spurrier: Thanks, Kyle!

Kyle: You jump on top and just like stand on Raz’ul as he’s floating down, and you’re just like, “yeah this is great!” Yashee, you do a deft maneuver to be able to get off the stairs with Mitch and Symbol- anything in particular?

Ali: I guess I’ll do a bunch of sweet flips through the air and really show off my acrobatics skills?

Kyle: Alright, roll an acrobats at advantage since you have feather fall going on-

Ali: Cool!

Kyle: We’ll see how sick these moves are.

Ali: [Excited] Alright!

Goodrich: There it is!

Ali: It’s a natural twenty! [Angelic chorus of “Oh yeaah!”]

Kyle: Awesome!

Ali: Plus four acrobatics.

Kyle: So, you dive off and you do some sick flips and you’re actually able to make contact with Raz’ul a little bit and bounce off him for another sweet flip. But before that you give Randy a sick high-five as he’s surfing down on top of Raz’ul.

[Players laughing]

Kyle: So, you all find your way to the bottom of the stairs and you turn and-

Goodrich: That’s a good verb, we “find” our way down! Can I try to give you guys a high five like, “Yeah me too! Me too!”

Ali: No.

Goodrich: Nah, I was gonna give you thirty, but your face is too dirty! [Players groan]

Kyle: Okay so, you’re at the bottom of the stairs and you all stand up and get yourselves situated; and you’re looking back at this collapsed temple as it’s finally like, resting. And as it comes to a rest you notice that the base of it cracks-

Goodrich: [Worried] Oh..

Kyle: And it starts to slide and it slides to the left and hits this tall tower. The tower starts leaning, creaking and groaning as it falls in your direction. And Symbol’s looking up at it and is like-

Kyle(as Symbol): [Terrified] We’re not done!

[All players laughing throughout, theme song plays]

Kyle(as Symbol): We need to run! Run guys, run!


Transcripts by: Gabi Cardone@peachdoodles – Twitter